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Jessicas are all pretty bitches

So true. Dedicated to my favorite Jessica of them all.

I generally like Jessicas (but perhaps that’s because I also like pushy broads and hot babes). I tend to dislike Jennifers* but do well with Jens and Jennies. I like Kates, but rarely Katies. The Jezebel readers seem to think that for men, Chris and David are no good, and I agree wholeheartedly.** Charlies, Aarons and Ryans, though, are usually pretty great.

I haven’t met very many other Jills in my life, so I can’t say what we’re like.

What names do you have bad experiences with?

*With many exceptions, of course. Don’t get mad, Jennifers! Unless you suck. Then you can get mad, because I probably would dislike you.
**Again, with exceptions. For example, this Chris is very pleasant.

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97 thoughts on Jessicas are all pretty bitches

  1. I’ve loved four, no, five different Jennifers so far in my life. Four of them broke my heart. The fifth I’m still in love with, but we don’t have a sexual relationship.

    I’m not sure if that’s bad or not.

  2. I tend to cringe when I meet Sarahs. Sarah B. was my bete noir in high school, though I don’t think she ever knew that. She was a Have and I was a Have Not and I hated her for knowing this and exploiting it. I could never understand her popularity, because she was not a nice person at all.

    I also steer clear of Jasons. I adore the name Jason but I’ve not met one who hasn’t turned out to be a closet bastard.

  3. Weirdly, I realized that I’ve dated or dallied with more Jessicas in my life than any other name, although none of them for more than a couple months. Jennifers, on the other hand… I’ve known a lot, but always just a bit out of reach! I work with two Erics who are both decent guys, but I’m not sure I can think of many other names that I have multiple experiences with. I’m sure there are some. Weirdly, I have never met anyone else with my name, even though it’s a pretty common name on multiple continents (not Holly, my other name… although come to think of it I don’t think I remember anyone named Holly either).

  4. A girl who made me miserable in the sixth grade (I won’t share her actual name, since for all I know she’s grown up to become a cancer researcher or a pro bono lawyer or something) shared her name with a seasonal allergy medication that came out a few years after my torment. I now refuse to take it on principle.

    I’ve had complicated relationships with variations on Jennifer and Elizabeth. Of course, that makes up about fifty percent of the women I’ve ever known.

  5. Every guy I’ve know named Phil has been a complete asshole (except this one kid I went to high school with, who was just a dweeb). On a completely unrelated note, my dad’s name is Phil.

    And watch out for Catalinas, is all I’m saying (assuming one really bad experience counts for as much as several minor bad ones).

  6. I’ve known two guys named Blaine and I didn’t like either of them.

    I’ve had mixed fortunes with Jennifers, but that’s because there’s so many of them.

  7. A girl who made me miserable in the sixth grade (I won’t share her actual name, since for all I know she’s grown up to become a cancer researcher or a pro bono lawyer or something)

    Heh. I googled one of the queen bee popular girls in my junior high school, and she now runs a homeless shelter. She was always the nicest of the queen bees, though, so I’m not totally surprised. I’m pretty surprised, but not totally.

    I associate Ashley with evil, evil mean girls. (And Ashleigh or any variation thereof is worse.) Theoretically, I think of Katie as dreadful, but most of the Katies I’ve actually known have been perfectly lovely.

    I’ve had universally bad experiences with women named any variation of Lee or Leigh. Come to think of it, the one guy I’ve known named Lee was a bit of a jerk, too.

  8. Aarons in my life are awful… and Bonnies are not very nice either. But I only know the ones that are related to me. Jacobs and Jakes are nightmares. Shainas are a delight. (Because I only know one, and an average of awesome/1=awesome). Mireilles I can take or leave.

  9. The Charlie thing is true. They’re lovely. I dated one and married another (at completely different times). And I’ve known two very cool Jills.

  10. oh, i can’t stand Mikes. I have a dirty uncle named Mike and at least three of my friends (including myself) have had borderline abusive boyfriends named Mike.

  11. Sally, following your lead I googled my former tormenter, but all I can find is that she received some kind of accounting scholarship. My name aversion still holds.

  12. Dear Sally: I am not a jerk.

    So you say, Lee. So you say.

    [Just joking! I’m sure you’re extraordinarily awesome!]

  13. Jennifers in my life have been a bit flighty, kinda tragic heroes. I can’t stand Sandras–they are evil incarnate–and any variation of angel is bound to be psychotic–angel, angela, angelina, angeline…psychos all. Matts suck. Anitas are horrible. Donalds are wise and Keiths are hot (married a Keith, so I have to say that.) Bills are useless wastes of trace minerals.

    The three queen bees in my grade were Marianne, Jessica (!) and Kimberly. Kims are drama queens. Mariannes are harsh and Jessicas are just snobbish.

  14. In my life, without exception, Dave = BAD NEWS.

    For the girls, Colleen gets a thumbs up from me. So do Julie, Liz, Sarah, Dana (girls and boys), Sue and Stephanie. I’ve found that Cindys tend to be a tad difficult, if well meaning.

    I totally agree with the Jessica consensus. My experiences have not been good. Someone needs to start a Jessica Reformation Association.

  15. I had an awful ex-boyfriend named Ken. Every time I find out I’m about to meet another Ken, I feel sick to my stomach.

    When I was in high school, the people I despised most were Alicia, April, and Amy. (Maybe it’s just the A names?)

  16. We are, in fact, made of awesome. 🙂

    Ha, good to know! There are at least two other feminist bloggers named Jill, one of whom blogs under her name and the other of whom is pseudonymous. So perhaps Jills are mouthy feminist writers?

  17. I’ve got something against Saras for the most part…though I’ve known a couple who were okay. Not a fan of girls named Kelsy (or Kelsie) either. As far as guys, I’m not a fan of Davids or Justins.

  18. Derek. That name is forever tainted in my books. I have not had to physically fight somebody named Derek, but everything up to that point. Aarons have actually been pretty good in my experience, except for one creepy Aussie I met in Japan. The Aaron from New York that I met in the same city was awesome.

    This was a huge consideration when we were choosing baby names (settled on Victoria, because every Victoria we know is awesome). Jessica is the name of my wife’s old best friend in highschool, and is pretty screwed up. With friends like her, my wife didn’t really need enemies.

    Nothing ending with the “en/on/an” sound (you know the one… we don’t have a proper vowel for it, given that those two letters can all be pronounced the same way) for boys bodes well for my relationship with them; Jaiden, Jordan, Aiden, Hayden, Jason (though I do have a really nice co-worker named Jason that I get along with quite well… he’s definitely the exception).

    I get along with Michaels, but I wouldn’t date one. The two I know more than superficially are both very moody and can be difficult to deal with.

    I have a cousin Ashley, but I don’t know her very well. The only Ashley I do know goes to my church and has some developmental issues, but is very sweet.

  19. I second the aversions to all things Jason… a cursed name, I think… interestingly, all the guys I’ve dated/crushed on had names that started with Js… the only ones who weren’t complete assholes were those who called themselves “John” (or any spelling varient thereof… married a Jon, and he’s definitely the antithesis of asshole). Brad is also an evil name.

    For some reason Nicoles have always been bad in my experience… mixed reviews of the Jennifers of the world.

  20. Over on Jezebel’s site they were complaining about Matts. Anybody notice that one? What about Matthews? Dammit, now I’m getting all paranoid.

  21. I’ve never had a good experience with a Sharon, even ones who go by the nicname Shay. The ones I’ve run into are bitchy/psychotic. I’ve had mixed experiences with Cathy – Cathy is okay, Kathy not so much. I’m a Kate who used to be a Katie, until I was 17 and my best friend decided she was too old to call me Katie and changed my name to Kate. Perhaps she did me a favor.

  22. I second the aversions to all things Jason… a cursed name, I think… interestingly, all the guys I’ve dated/crushed on had names that started with Js

    Nearly so for me as well. I’d just have to say no to dating J anything at this point. Hee.

  23. Over on Jezebel’s site they were complaining about Matts. Anybody notice that one? What about Matthews? Dammit, now I’m getting all paranoid.

    I’ve liked every Matt I’ve met. 😉

  24. Ashleys, if they’re girls, are evil, and if they’re guys, are passive-aggressive and worthless. I’m sorry to all of the Ashleys out there who think that you’re okay, but you can’t possibly be.

    Eric and Eriks are tools; no judgment yet on Eriqs or Ericks.

    Of the five Matts I know (off the top of my head), two have been jerks and the other three have been patently awesome, so you’ve still got a decent chance of turning out well, Matthew.

  25. One Chris was a rapist, another a really sweet geek fuckfriend, another a really sweet Catholic geek who didn’t come out until after I left town, etc. So Chris is a really mixed bag for me. David and Michael have also been mixed. So I’m not sure I can subscribe to the name-personality-association thing.

    I have, though, been thinking quite a bit lately about names and class. That when I was a child, I didn’t realize that Crystal and Tina and Tara tended to be lower class names, while Sarah, Elizabeth, and yes, Jennifer, were higher class names. And, y’know, it took me a really long time to realize how closely names were related to race. Only after moving to an area with a very different ethnic makeup did I start having to tell people how to spell my childhood friends’ names, like Tasniem and Simren and Zahra.

    My husband and I don’t have a boy name yet. Any suggestions?

  26. Oh, Gawd, Crystals! Every Crystal I have ever met has been a raging, pointlessly nasty bitch. I think it has something to do with the kind of “nurture” they get from the women who named them Crystal in the first place.

  27. Nothing ending with the “en/on/an” sound (you know the one… we don’t have a proper vowel for it, given that those two letters can all be pronounced the same way) for boys bodes well for my relationship with them…

    Given that my name meets that criterion, I guess we should never meet.

  28. Jasons are usually horrible people.

    Jills are snobs.

    Jessicas are usually insecure but arrogant.

    Brittany, Ashley, any form of it, trouble.

    Michale is trouble

    Jeff or Jeffery or Jeffrey, trouble, wolf in sheep’s clothing.

    Karen, Karon, Karin, horrible, just horrible.

    Sharon meet Karon, both twins.

    Bills are usually sexist a-holes, including his other cheek William.

    Elizabeth, where do I start, I don’t want to.

    I love Guy. Guy is great.

    Oh how did I forget the Marys. YUCK!!!!

    and god forbid we cannot forget

    STEPHANIE………………………..

    Morgan, Madison, and Montana are becoming the new thorns in my side.

    But there will always be a special place in my heart for a Heather. Sorry there will always be space.

  29. cj: Was engaged to a Crystal once. She was nutty as a fruitbat. That was back when I was all “white knighty” and thinking I could help her solve her personal problems. I got over that real fast.

    Linnaeus: There are always exceptions. As I said, I work with a Jason right now, and he’s the person with the most similar interests to mine (at least, movie and video game wise). Nice guy, we get along just fine.

  30. Hey, MK, I went to college with a girl named “Allegra.” I have no idea what she was like in the sixth grade, but she was a rather pleasant person by the time I met her.

    I tend to dislike Jennifers in general, because I always overhear them complaining about how much they hate to be called Jenny, and I’m like, “Hey!”

  31. I also steer clear of Jasons. I adore the name Jason but I’ve not met one who hasn’t turned out to be a closet bastard.

    The Jason who grew up next door to me was just arrested for having sex with one of his 17-year-old students. True story.

    I did end up dating a lot of guys with “J” names: Jim, James, John, etc. I ended up with a guy whose name starts with “G” … but it’s a soft “G.” He jokes that I was really looking for a G name all along and got confused by all of the J’s.

  32. Damn it. I just checked out the site and they use it in an attempt to “reclaim” it. Bullshit! I get how popular this nonsense it, but come the fuck on! Stop using these damn slurs. You cannot reclaim these slurs. All you do is perpetuate the bigoted myths behind them, which not only attack you personally but all women and girls, regardless whether they use it or not. Thus, it doesn’t belong to the “If you don’t like, don’t use it” category.

    The n-word was justified the same way “bitch” is: incoporate misbehavior or immorality and camouflage a slur that dehumanizes and degrades as an attack on character. Hell, you could legitimize anti-Semitic slurs by attaching “greedy” to its definition.

    I hate “bitch” like no other slur, as it has become so universally popular that no one is bothered by it, even a feminist site such as this one. Enough with this bigoted shit!

  33. Linnaeus: There are always exceptions. As I said, I work with a Jason right now, and he’s the person with the most similar interests to mine (at least, movie and video game wise). Nice guy, we get along just fine.

    Understood. Jes’ givin’ ya a hard time. 🙂

  34. Jason is BAD news. I have met many Jasons and they are all stuck up jerks. James are rather creepy as well… Ashleys are sweehearts!

    Rachel though, I don’t know about that name…pretty iffy 😉

  35. Mireille @ 10: I second the Bonnies-aren’t-nice nomination. But, one Jake that I know is just the sweetest guy.

    Also, Gregs. Every Greg that I’ve ever known has been an arrogant, sexist fuckwad.

    And Jonathans (not Johns – specifically Jonathans) are icky, too. They all seem to be Mr Nice Guy (TM) types.

  36. Angela, Julia, Sarah/Sara and Michelle for girls, invariably for me, anyway. (I also can’t stand anyone named Crystal.) I’m none too fond of anyone named Kirsten, Caitlin, or Lindsay/Lindsey, either, with the exception of Lindsay Beyerstein, of course.

    I have to agree on the Karen/Ashley/Brittany hate upthread. It’s been borne out in my daily life, for sure for sure.

    For guys: Todds and Aarons are total jerks. (I also don’t get along very well with anyone named Christopher.)

    I SO AGREE with the Eric hate. Guaranteed asshole = anyone named Eric/Erik or Erica/Erika. What /is/ it with those names?

  37. I like Rebecca and Becky, but hate Beccas. The Beccas I’ve known have been arrogant bitches. The main thorn in my side Becca was caught stealing her roommate’s checkbook and forging her signature.

    Attorneys named Dick live up to their name in my experience.

    I like Steves and Stevens, but Stephens tend to be snotty and arrogant.

    I really like Patricks. And Bob.

    Cals/Calvins tend to be immature and selfish.

  38. I’ve only had two good experiences with Lisas, and I’ve know about 50, and no good Sharons. I now have a nice Pamela coworker, but she’s the first positive Pam.

    I’m too old to have known any Ashleys, Brittanies, or Courtneys as contemporaries — those names became popular in the late 70’s — but everyone I know who gave such names to their children have been repulsive. They’ve also been named Sharon, Pam, or Lisa.

    As for male names, my sons are Aaron Michael and Andrew Nathan, so I have to say those are positives. Andy is the only Nathan I’ve ever known personally though, so that’s a small group. My husband is Steve, and most of the very many Steve’s I’ve known I’ve liked. I don’t have good memories of anyone named Greg, Randy or Randall, Travis, or Kenneth.

    Oh, and I apologize on behalf of all Karens out there.

  39. I’m a Jenn, my boy’s a David. We’re both good, I swear. Davids are better than Daves, I think. But there are so many people with both names (if you’re between 25-35, anyway), that really, there’s no telling.

    But Jeffs? Jeffs are assholes. And Tiffanys are major bitch material.

    I like G names (except Geoff): Grace, Graham, Grant, Gemma…

  40. Every Dawn I’ve ever met has been a bipolar psychopath. Okay, perhaps that’s insulting to the bipolar psychopath community, for which I apologize. To put it more accurately, they’re all two-faced bitches who will smile and pretend to be your best friend, and then the minute your back begins to turn they’re trying to get you fired or something.

    I get along fine with Katies, but every Katie I’ve ever known has been married to a man who came to hate me. One’s husband went so far as to shout, while they were fighting, “You’re getting more and more like (Thorn) every day!” Since he was an asshole, I take that as high praise indeed.

    Speaking of which, Brians tend to be a mixed bag. They all tend to be tunnel-visioned into their own things, and pretty arrogant. Sometimes that translates into sort of an absent-minded professor kind of thing, where the arrogance gets channeled into their one field of expertise and thus is harmless to anyone not working with them, and sometimes it translates into the kind of asshole who thinks other people are their playthings.

    Oh, and beware of Seans. They seem to have a strong tendency to be controlling abusive stalkers.

    Nicoles, and Nikkis (however they’re spelled) especially tend to be very high-maintenance, and sometimes that means super-bitchy and snobbish, but sometimes they’re okay. I think it comes down to if they admit they’re high-maintenance or not.

    Every Ed I’ve ever met has been totally smarmy.

    And I have to agree with the concensus on Bills – I’ve got an uncle Bill and he’s a sexist asshole as well as being a spoiled baby. At 50-something! He’s really pretty dreadful.

  41. I’m Sorry if I’d known how other people viewed how I might be as a person I certinally would have chosen another name. Actually I wouldn’t have.

  42. I’m a Jessica from 1982, the year it was the most popular girl’s name in the US. I was named after Jessica Tate from “Soap”, and I like to think that’s a better representation of me than any of the ones posted so far – odd-looking and -acting, but strangely appealing 🙂

    I always had a thing for Matts and Mikes, but eventually I switched over to M last names instead and am now happily settled with a Jon M. His parents call him by his middle name, Trent, which he hates and says Trents are assholes, whereas he’s just an ass.

    Crystals – my grandma and cousin are Crystals, but they both turned out all right, one because she goes by Ann, and the other was raised as Crystie instead.

    My cousin Jill is weird. And very Christian. And she supposedly had an affair with a married man while she was in high school. She now is married to someone whose grandmother worked in the church nursery with her and set them up, and has Chihuahua puupies and an oddly-named infant son.

  43. My best friend’s stage name when he performed drag was Jessica. There were two other Jessicas who worked the club, so one was Jess, another Jessie, and he was Ica.

  44. I’m going to disagree on the Bill/William thing. All of those that I know are pretty great, if in varied ways.

    Guys named Devon, though, are universally awesome. Women, too, for that matter.

    Scotts I find to be too charming for their own good.

    I agree with whoever it was who disliked Daves. Daves are sleazy.

    And definitely not a fan of the Katies.

  45. James are rather creepy as well…

    I briefly dated my really good friend James in college, but we didn’t really click (for me, anyway). I like Jameses better than Jims — Jims are just plain evil.

    Every Dawn I’ve ever met has been a bipolar psychopath.

    I temped for a Dawn once. One week into the assignment, she said she wanted me to stay long-term. Six weeks into the assignment as I was going home on a Friday at 5:00, she told me that things weren’t working out and I shouldn’t come back on Monday. Oh, and by the way, could I stay late — unpaid — and put things in order for the next temp.

    I said, “No,” and walked out.

    Yes, Dawns are psycho.

  46. Davids I don’t have such good luck with. Courtneys…AAAAGH! Never met a good one, starting with Courtney W. in pre-K, who taunted me for not having as many Strawberry Shortcake dolls as her. They’re just mean. And Nicks are skeezy.

    However, I’ve liked every Emily I’ve ever met. And with one exception, all my boyfriends have been Jameses (a James, a Jamie, a Jimmy and 2 Jims). Including the one I married.

  47. Ah names and issues.I never assume I will be able to have
    a sensible conversation with anyone named judy. The baggage is my own, I will admit to it.Teresas and Susans I can deal with all day. Ellens, Helens, Pats and (for some reason) Amys- all on the good team.

    These glowing reviews are conditional upon their hearing my name is Barbara, and undstanding the Barbara is not open to debate. I am not Barb. I am not Babs. And I am not (and have not been since my sainted grandmother died) Barbie. Barbara, that’s all.

    Every Cam I’ve ever met was a drama vector. Patricks tend to not be too good at understanding the rules apply to them. The Dave/David contingent in my life are stalwart, brave and true.And the Michael is the one who’s been in my life for over twenty years now- I’m inordinatly fond of him and consquently give other Mikes/Michaels slack.

  48. Names on my avoiding list are:
    Lisa, Kim, Gail, Tammy, C(K)athy
    Richard, Michael, Dom, Issac

    names I tend to get along with/like Noah, Drew, Alice, Lesley

  49. I had slight issues with Rachels, dislike Adrianna’s and I’m not too keen on many Vanessa’s. I never met a Jennifer I didn’t like, but have a few issues with some Nicoles.

    …I have yet to meet an Alian (my own name).

    For guys, I dislike some Pedro’s (in fact the only Pedro I like is my father). I do well with Felix’s (like my cousin and grandfather). Matts are great, so are Alex’s (and Alejandro’s). I dislike most Kevin’s and Coles, and have some not so great experiencs with Chris…I have yet to meet a David (no really I never met a David…or care to remember if I did).

  50. Nicole bad news.

    Heather usually fat and lazy.

    Kelsey’s, airheads.

    Kathy or Kathleen’s, crazy and selfish.

    Beth, more bad news.

    Scott is another name for trouble.

    Ed’s are trouble too.

  51. Jason’s are great people

    Mary’s are sour pusses

    Ashley’s are trouble makers

    Heathers are little bitches who grow up to be big bitches just like their moms.

    Alicia’s are wonderful

    Paul’s are comical

    Kathleen’s are confused white women trying to find their place in life, only they look forever never reaching what they are seeking. Angry.

    Ean is really Ian just with an ebonic edge to the spelling.

    Kurtisha’s are hateful and selfish

  52. Hollys, Ashleys (and variants) and Stephanies were terrible to me in elementary school but there was one good Ashley in high school.

    I know five Andrews and I’m dating another and they’re all pretty cool, though one can be rather annoying.

    I’ve also had trouble in the past with Daves/Davids, with a couple of notable exceptions.

    I lived with a Dawn last year and she’s okay but sometimes rather… manipulative, I guess is the word. And she has a maniacal laugh. My Aunt Dawn is the rich aunt I never see who kinda lives in her own little world.

  53. Damn. I can see that I’m gonna have to work to make up for all the bearers of my name who have muddied it through their misbegotten behavior. I’ve always found it to be kind of a weird one for me, actually. When I was a kid, I hated it because there was always at least one other one in every class, maybe more. It felt very anonymous, and to this day, I have this insecurity about people not remembering me.

    The one thing I like about my name? Irony. Christopher = “One who carries (or bears) Christ,” which is an odd one for someone as devotedly atheist and all-around skeptical as I.

  54. The last Jessica I knew was a hateful hellbeast who sent me into a spiral of depression and weight gain, trashed her girlfriend (because Jessie was a classist snob), ripped on all our other friends, and then dumped us all and started dating a guy who had helped her get alcohol poisoning multiple times and cheated on his girlfriend with her a few years ago.

    Luckily my name is uncommon enough that I haven’t seen anybody mention it in this thread!

  55. Nobody here likes Nicoles, so it seems, but what about Niki (one k)?

    I dated a Skylar and a Skyler, both conflicted yet irresistible (the a destroyed his life, the e probably works a nerd job in OR somewhere)

    I also seem to have a thing for Christians (the name, not the religion) especially Christian P’s, but a hideous Chris P used to beat me up in Jr. High, go figure.

  56. Michelles. Every Michelle I’ve known or known of has been a bitch. Sorry to any nice ones out there.

  57. Crap. And I said bitch. I didn’t mean to, I swear. It just slipped out – I used the word as a descriptive a lot when said Michelles were actually in my life, before my speech became more enlightened.

  58. Whew. I have a lot of psychopathic residual mess to contend with in this crowd.

    I come from a family of hippies. We all have earthy names. I guess, for that reason, I’ve never really looked at names as an indicator of who people are — simply something that was given to them by their parents (or by choice when they changed it). I’ve never had adverse (or positive) feelings for someone based on a name.

    We have enough dings against us without bearing them for our name as well.

    Hmmm. Now I sound like a simpering wimpy political correct dawn. Ack! Can’t win. Heh.

  59. Georges rule.

    Kens, especially Kenny’s, need to be strung up from their ankles and bludgeoned. Repeatedly.

    I desperately want to have a daughter named Katherine, after my grandmother, and call her Katie. Is she doomed?

  60. Dean’s seem to be complete jerks. Jeremy’s tend to be quite nice, and Zacks I tend to get along with very well.
    I too tend to see Ashley’s as bitches. The same goes for Britanny’s and Amber’s.

  61. Whew. Glad my name didn’t end in -on, -en, or -in or I guess I’d be horrible, just horrible.

  62. I’ve had bad dating experiences with all the Js I’ve tried. The worst are JDs–won’t take no for an answer, tend to be unwanted gropers.

    But, let’s face it, that’s just the silly human brain trying to make order out of chaos.

  63. Any hate out there for my name? I’m pleasantly drunk and would love to know.

    Lia
    (will accept Leah, Leia and variants on such. Also her true first name, Alianne)

  64. I don’t know about Jennifers, but Jens make very good best friends.

    I’ve had HORRIBLE luck with Mikes, romantically speaking. Just awful.

    Jeffs are self-centered pricks.

    After certain experiences with one lovely specimen of humanity in high school, I could never be friends with a Brandon.

    Dans are annoying. Especially when they’re drunk. And they can be real jerks, especially if you’re not one of the “cool” kids.

    Ricks are great, though. Very dependable. As are Marys – good friend material. They’ll stick up for you when you need it, too.

  65. Kevins, in my experience, tend to take credit for other people’s work. Also, they bite.

  66. I’m Sorry if I’d known how other people viewed how I might be as a person I certinally would have chosen another name. Actually I wouldn’t have.

    Was just thinking the same thing. It’s one thing to say, “This was my experience with a person who happened to be named X”; it’s another to say “People named X are (blank).” Which never includes ourselves, of course.

    I don’t know about Jennifers, but Jens make very good best friends.

    There’s a Jen I recently met who indicated she’d like to see me again (multiple times), but whom I suspect is now avoiding me by not replying to my e-mail or returning my phone calls. Grrrr….

  67. I had a bad run with Jasons back in the day (grade school, that is). “Stacy” and “Tracy:” also Not Good.

    generally i’ve had good experiences with Elizabeths.

  68. I stay away from people named John. It’s easier to do than you’d think and more necessary than I’d like.

    Phillips are better than Phils. Davids are better than Daves. And Joseph is far far better than his counterpart, Joe.

    Scotts are quiet, but sharp, insightful and funny. They’ll also take care of you when you really need it, but probably not until then.

    Heathers don’t like me, so I tend to avoid them. Laurens aren’t fond of me either, which is a shame because I usually think they’re pretty cool.

    Have to agree with the Crystal hate, though I am pretty sure it’s not their fault; they were led in that direction by whomever named them Crystal.

    Melanies are nice, if sometimes a bit unstable.

    Jessica and Jennifer often wish their parents had more imagination when naming them, and the bitchiness may have started out as a way to distinguish themselves from the 2,354 other Jessicas/Jennifers in their school.

  69. Huh.

    Every Kate or Katie or Katherine or Catherine or, you know, a woman named with a /k/ sound followed by a /t/ sound (and, tentatively even /th/, the horrible comic strip Cathy notwithstanding) has been an absolute joy to know. I seem to have known quite a few of them, too!

    On the down side, all the people I know of who go by the same first name as me have been arrogant or mean in one way or another.

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