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Baby-killer, angry about baby-killing, kills baby.

Jill

A man accused of killing his girlfriend’s toddler because he was mad at the child’s mother for having an abortion has been sentenced to life in prison.

Really.

This is incredibly sad, but certainly not surprising. The anti-choice mentality is centered on the idea that women’s bodies are the property of their closest male family member, that women should be punished for sexual activity, and that the state should have the right to force women to continue their pregnancies. This woman had an abortion after her boyfriend told her not to. He punished her by killing someone she loved.

The kicker? She’s being prosecuted, too:

Haslett had been dating Gavin’s mother, Jennifer L. Harvey. She pleaded guilty in April to felony child endangerment after admitting she suspected that Haslett had been abusing Gavin but allowed him to continue caring for the toddler. She will be sentenced June 22.

The article doesn’t say whether or not Joseph Haslett (the murderer) was abusing Jennifer Harvey, but it seems like this all indicates a pretty clear pattern of intimate violence. Abusers are known to harm or kill their partner’s pets as a warning, and they certainly threaten their partner’s children as a way of maintaining control. If Harvey wasn’t being abused and was recklessly leaving her child with a man she thought was abusing him, then she certainly deserves to face the legal consequences. But I have a feeling that there’s more to this story.

20 thoughts on Baby-killer, angry about baby-killing, kills baby.

  2. Sickening, saddening, and I wish I could say it was surprising, but it’s not. But gods (all of them) forbid that we should neglect to mention that men suffer domestic abuse when we’re talking about a man’s abuse of his wife and children.

    Because it is, now and forever, world without end, all about the men.

  3. This really hit home for me because I concealed my abortion from the father, because I feared he might harm my then 2-year-old son. Something just told me he was going to be an-eye-for-an-eye about it. So I told him I miscarried. Until reading this, I always felt guilty about not telling him–I kept thinking I had overreacted.

    What also strikes me is that the killer’s sister speaks out in his defense. Um, doesn’t she get that her niece is her family too? And maybe deserves some protection from this lunatic?

  5. I can’t believe that the sister is concerned that her niece is going to grow up without a father. In my opinion, that’s the only upside to this story: Maybe one child will actually survive this man’s ‘parenting’.

    Somehow, anti-abortion nutjobs provide the best argument against all those spouse/partner/daddy notification laws, don’t they?

  6. The public defender said Haslett had abused illegal drugs and was not a “cold-blooded killer.”

    This is bizarre, given the story below. So when a man uses drugs and kills a real, actual, living, breathing, thinking, feeling child it is an extenuating circumtance, but when a woman miscarries a fetus it is murder if she happens to be using drugs? I don’t get the logic.

  8. Dianne, it’s simple. Once the fetus pops out, it’s no longer important. Or at least, far less important. So sayeth “the culture of life”.

  9. On the issue of mothers being charged for their spouse’s abuse of their children, while I have lots of sympathy for survivors of domestic violence I don’t think you can keep your children around that kind of abuse. I know that women have all kinds of reasons for staying and I hate to sound like I’m blaming the victim here, but it’s not ok to let your children be abused. Not that what she did (well, didn’t) was in anyway comparable to what he did, and I’ll be pissed if their sentences are similar at all, but I just, personally, can understand the law.

  10. “But I have a feeling that there’s more to this story.”

    Well, then find out, why don’t you? You’re the blogger. Make a phone call – her lawyer will talk to you. And get the whole story- she’s been sentenced already, she got probation. Presumably there was a recommendation regarding sentence that would have included a mitigating factor like abuse.

  11. Well, then find out, why don’t you? You’re the blogger.

    Right. Blogger. Not journalist. Not paid blogger. Not “citizen journalist.” Just a blogger — one who reads news items and posts her opinion. I’ve never claimed to be an investigative journalist. And I do actually have a full-time job that takes precedence over tracking down lawyers and making phone calls to follow up on a news story from the Columbia Tribune. If this is ever my full-time job, I’ll be happy to make all the phone calls in the world.

  12. On the issue of mothers being charged for their spouse’s abuse of their children, while I have lots of sympathy for survivors of domestic violence I don’t think you can keep your children around that kind of abuse.

    Oh if it were that simple.

    I tried like hell to get a restraining order against my husband, which I could not get. But as I walked out of the social workers office for the umpteenth time trying to get something… anything… done, she reminded me that if I kept the kids around him, I would be as liable as him for abuse of the children. Oh, and if I snapped and retaliated after sucking it up for months, I would be guilty of abuse towards him. I asked her if it was so easy to find me guilty of abuse, why couldn’t they find him guilty of it?? That fell on deaf ears. He got to come and go from our home as he pleased.

    I don’t know why she left her child in the care of this man, but she likely had very few options. I was lucky enough to have childcare while I worked, so I didn’t have to rely on my husband for childcare, and I kept them very close when we were at home, but that got very, very stressful, for them and for me. In a functional two-parent home, you can rely on each other to care for the kids, in a single-parent home, you can relax while the kids are in the other room, or hire a sitter sometimes. But in an abusive household, you have to worry if your spouse and your child are both out of sight for any amount of time. When he is home, you take the kids with you everywhere. It can be overwhelming.

    I doubt there is an abused woman out there that is pleased that her children are exposed to abuse, either directly or indirectly. But just because you know you should leave does not mean you can leave. And, often the most dangerous time for abused women and children is the time immediately following their departure.

  13. On the issue of mothers being charged for their spouse’s abuse of their children, while I have lots of sympathy for survivors of domestic violence I don’t think you can keep your children around that kind of abuse. I know that women have all kinds of reasons for staying and I hate to sound like I’m blaming the victim here, but it’s not ok to let your children be abused. Not that what she did (well, didn’t) was in anyway comparable to what he did, and I’ll be pissed if their sentences are similar at all, but I just, personally, can understand the law.

    You realize that this is:
    a) blaming the vicitm – battered women are also the victims here, not just their children. Somehow as soon as children enter into the picture, women cease to be victims and are assumed to be complicit in the abuse. This just flies in the face of everything we know about the psychology of abuse. I have personally witnessed (and this process is well documented in the literature on abuse and domestic violence) how abusers wear down the victim’s self-esteem, how they isolate victims from friends and family, the way that they try to control everything and everyone around them, and how the cycle of abuse keeps victims walking on eggshells as they wait for the next explosion. And it’s not like law enforcement is known for being sympathetic to survivors of abuse, especially if you’re a woman of colour, don’t have legal status, if you’re queer or trans, or poor. And maybe they have nowhere to go: shelters fill up, or they can’t accomodate women with children. Or they live in rural areas where there are no shelthers close by, and they don’t have access to vehicle. Not to mention how often the violence escalates when women leave. Many abusers tell their victims that they will kill them if they leave, and their victims believe them for good reason.

    b) charging women with abuse for not removing their children from an abusive situation creates incentives for women not to report abuse. It also may keep women from leaving abusive situations if they think they might lose their children.

    c) the outcomes of the child welfare system are very poor. Most of the studies that I’ve seen suggest that kids do best when families stay together (these studies are Canadian, but I’d be surprised if there were significantly better outcomes in the US). In these cases, it seems obvious that kids who have been traumatized by witnessing violence and abuse don’t need the extra trauma of being separated from their mothers, and possibly separated from their siblings.

    d) it reinforces the idea that there is something wrong with women who end up in abusive relationships, or that they are somehow responsible for their abuse. Abused women don’t think it’s ok for their children to be abused or for them to witness abuse. They’re probably doing the best they can with limited resources in terrible circumstances.

  14. Jill, in 10 seconds on google I found out that she’d been sentenced, which was more than you knew. You’re generally worth reading but just saying the first thing that comes into your head is lazy. It makes you feel good but in the long run it’s a waste of your time and ours. I know I’m complaining about the free ice cream here but really you can do better.

    Anyway, all my friends – both of them – tell me I’m a pain in the ass, and I suppose they’re right.

  16. Just to throw this out, I once had a friend whose husband was abusing their children. He never hit her, as she was about the same size as he was, but he didn’t mind taking a pop at the kids while she wasn’t looking.

    As soon as she found out, she left him and reported his behavior to the police. There was no waffling, no doubt, she just left his, took the kids, and called the cops.

    She was charged as an accessory to the abuse. Not because she knew, because they admitted that she didn’t, but because they said she SHOULD have known.

    …the hell?

  17. akeeyu, I think your friend’s experience makes it clear exactly why it’s fucked up to charge women with abuse for not leaving abusive situations with their children.

    The implication seems to be that when something happens to children, whether it is abuse by another parent (physical, emotional, or sexual), another family member, a teacher, etc., it is fundamentally the mother’s fault because she failed to protect them. Even if she had no way of knowing what was going on. Or no way of leaving even if did know. Or is also being victimized.

    And of course there are situations where the mother clearly knew something was going on, but wouldn’t admit it to herself or anyone else. And there are situations where kids have disclosed abuse to their mothers and have not been believed. Those are the situations where women should be charged as accessories to abuse if they don’t take steps to protect their children.

    But what it really comes down to is mothers can’t win. If they leave, their contributing to the scourge of broken families and single parent households (paraphrasing the christian right here), their standard of living almost always goes way down, welfare and other safety nets have been cutback repeatedly, the court process is nasty and expensive, there’s no guarantee that you’ll be believed which could mean that your ex gets custody or joint custody of your children (without you to run interference/be a buffer). This is scary stuff.

    There are some really great essays on this, and other related issues in The Color of Violence by Incite! Women of Color Against Violence. It’s a great book, and the essays on the legal system, policing, and child welfare are very good at illustrating how the depoliticized approach to dealing with domestic violence (within the context of the child welfare system, the courts, etc) fails women and children, particularly women and children of colour.

  19. Blix… I always find Jill to be very informative and thorough. I am often in awe of the fact that while she is probably leading a completely different lifestyle than me (I am a middle-aged single mom in the ‘burbs and she is a young, city-dwelling single law student) that she “gets” issues that affect women of all ages/lifestyles. That’s what keeps me coming back here. I also think a blog is supposed to give you food for thought… and if you want to then go and dig deeper, then great… and then bring it back and post it in comments to enrich the discussion. I don’t think you made a fair criticism in this case.

  20. And of course there are situations where the mother clearly knew something was going on, but wouldn’t admit it to herself or anyone else. And there are situations where kids have disclosed abuse to their mothers and have not been believed. Those are the situations where women should be charged as accessories to abuse if they don’t take steps to protect their children.

    I hear where you are coming from. But I think this particular situation occurs far more frequently than people are willing to admit. I do lots of pro bono work with abused and neglected children* and I can only think of a handful of cases I’ve worked where the non-abusive parent didn’t know.

    Ethically, where the relationship between the parents is also abusive, its a quagmire for the reasons Kat mentioned. It’s pretty damn hard and often very dangerous to leave. But it’s also hard to say to a 6 year old…Sorry kid, you’re just going to have to live with getting the shit kicked out of you.

    If anyone has solutions – other than more funding for DV programs (which will only happen if one of us President and the rest of us control Congress) – I’ll be banging my head on my desk.

    *And domestic violence victims…trying to get those incredibly difficult restraining orders…or enforcing those restraining order…and otherwise trying to support victims who choose to go back to their abuser since a piece of paper is generally not going to take the blows for him or her when the abuser decides to dish them out.

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