Break Time June 9, 2007 zuzu I’m taking an indefinite break from the blog. Recent discussions have gotten me too upset to continue posting here. Steve Gilliard was a friend of mine. I went to his wake and funeral. I can’t do this right now. Enjoy your guest-bloggers.
Zuzu, I hope you get this message eventually… I’m rather new to blogging- got into it during last year’s election. Read alot of Amanda’s site, connecting links, and eventually found myself very interested more in feminist issues. I’ve learned alot and appreciate this medium as an incredible means of educating so many people and sharing ideas. It still blows my 42 year old mind that such an opportunity to communicate as we all do exists in blogging. That all said and to get to the point, I do so sympathize with the loss of your dear friend Steve. I read his obituary, having never heard of the gentleman before, with sadness and respect- clearly this was a man of very strong thoughts and convictions, both beloved and not- I think I would have liked his direct openness and feel an opportunity was missed. Then, as I had no idea of the controversy, I read the links all the way back to Brittney’s post. And I found myself as you described- angry, shaking, and frustrated with the anonyminity factor that allows people to cruelly attack and sling out vicious attacks- it’s as if they are able to forget that THIS WAS A PERSON. A HUMAN BEING. SOMEONE BELOVED WITHIN HIS CIRCLE OF FAMILY AND FRIENDS, mourned by many. 42 is too fucking young- I don’t care HOW OR WHY he died. I understand all too well how painful anonymously published comments can be. A week before Christmas, my only sibling, my younger sister, died in an accidental house fire in a large city. This would have been hard enough- she died 1000 miles from her hometown and had been widowed 2 years’ prior- but then the large city newspaper decided to interview neighbors and local police and make her out to be a whack job, rather than someone who had had terrible tragedies befall her. They slanted it to make it sound like POSSIBLY it was her fault, when there was never any evidence to substanciate such a claim. And then came the comments: over 100 with strangers “knowing what REALLY happened”, being GLAD she was dead, saying how she deserved this ending (at age 39!!), then when anyone from her family commented, we were then railed against- where were WE when she was making their lives so miserable? It was Hell- it hurt. I loved my sister, no matter what. No matter what. Thank goodness for grief therapy; it helped me heal my pain enough so I could function. Thank goodness for the GOOD in the majority of people; it helps to add perspective to our own lives. I am so very sorry for your loss and I do hope with time, your pain and that of Steve’s family and the rest of his friends will be eased. Virtual hugs, my friend… please take care.
zuzu, I read this blog for the bloggers who write here not the comments. You will be missed. Come back when you can. I am so sorry for your loss and the loss of Steve to all of us.
I’ve not been keeping up with any of this at all, so have no idea what’s going on – but I’ll miss you and I look forward to reading your voice again. So sorry you lost a friend.
Same here, Miss Prism. This incident has generated so much bad feeling that I’m glad at this point that I don’t know what it’s about.
You will be missed, zuzu. I am very sorry for your loss, and will look forward to your return, when you are ready.
Zuzu I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope that you take care of yourself and do what it right for you. I’ll miss your posts, and I look forward to you returning when you’re good and ready.
I’m sorry for your loss of a close friend. I hope you feel better soon and come back when you’re ready.
Well, one more thing. I’m also sorry that you’ve been subjected to a lack of compassion for what you’ve gone through.
Zuzu, I hope you reconsider but your message has a sound of seriousness and finality about it. Gilliard was not my personal friend but I set my blog dark for 24 hours out of respect for his passing. He was not a mentor to me but the closest thing I had to a blogging “role model.” He feared no one and nothing except failing to speak the truth as he saw it; I am very much not religious but may his name be inscribed among the just in the Book of Life. I don’t know you but you and I are both lawyers and are about the same age. I respect you because you fight hard; we have scrapped once and your tenacity led me to cry uncle and back off, which is not my style. If you have to do this then you have to do this. But realize that if tough, passionate bloggers leave voluntarily (as one great one did involuntarily and far too young), it leaves political blogging to slow, mildly clumsy accountant types like me. Which means the copy paper and the toilet paper will be ordered on time, so to speak, but passionate advocacy and the relentless pursuit of justice will be handled by toilet paper requisition clerks. In triplicate. I don’t know the dispute that happened while I was working the last 7 days straight, 12 out of the last 13 on the clock. Be damned if I am going to read an alligator-infested swamp of another blog’s meta-meta-meta discussion. But please reconsider, or instead make a decision to return after the time that you need.
I’m sorry, zuzu. Missed all of this and am probably better for it. Hope you come back — we’ll all still be here.
Zuzu, I haven’t followed this story, but please stay well and come back when you can. I’ll miss your posts.
Zuzu, be well. We’ll miss you. It’s sick to me that you are leaving over this, whilst others seem to be using the occasion for linkwhoring. Ugh. I might need to strike in solidarity with you. I’m sick; disingenuousness is not something I easily tolerate. And like I said — here it makes me sad and sick.
Zuzu, take the time that you need, come back when you can and spend some time with loved ones, it sometimes helps.
Well, I’ve been taking a break from blogging myself for awhile after getting tired of the Mean Girls atmosphere, so I understand the feeling. And I know what it feels like to lose a friend, and I hate that people I respect so much are all in so much pain. You do what you need to do. But I just hope this doesn’t create a schism in the Feministe community. There’s gotta be a way to work this all out!
This sucks. I was going to blog myself about the NiT stuff, and decided against it because I saw the potential to offend just about everybody over some aspect of the incident, especially when I don’t see that anyone of several “sides” here was actually intending malice while being arguably misguided. I understand everyone who’s feeling that it’s too raw and too hard to deal with this now. But those feelings will come to fade, and then I hope that people can remember how to be mates again and forgive.
i dont comment alot, but i love your posts and i think you have a brilliant mind. im sorry youre hurting and ill miss reading your words here.
I’m so sorry for your loss, zuzu, and for everything that you’ve gone through in the past few days. I will really, really miss reading your words every day. Take care.
Zuzu, I’m also sorry for your loss. I’ve really enjoyed reading your posts for the last 2 years or so. We’re from similar backgrounds and are close in age, which contributes a feeling of affinity. I wish you well.