From Chicklet, who always sends me the most disturbing links: many doctors are questioning Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation™, one of the latest plastic-surgery gimmicks that have been created to fill a manufactured “need” for some bizarro standard of perfection. The “need” in this case is for a pretty, perfect, tight pussy.
LVR is the creation of “Dr. 90210,” and the exact procedure is kept tightly under wraps:
At issue is a specific procedure known by insiders as “Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation,” or LVR. It was developed in the 1990s by a Beverly Hills gynecologist, Dr. David Matlock, the vaginal guru who makes regular appearances on cable television’s “Dr. 90210.” He was also one of the first doctors to advertise his vaginal surgeries on billboards that read, “You Won’t Believe How Good Sex Can Be.”
A few years ago, Miklos and Moore attended Matlock’s three-day seminar at the Laser Vaginal Institute on Sunset Boulevard, paying more than $50,000 for training in Matlock’s proprietary surgical methods.
Included in the price was an agreement to lease the laser equipment and business tips on how to transform their practices from insurance-based reimbursements to a self-pay model. They also received permission to use Matlock’s trademarked phrase, “Laser Vaginal Rejuvenation,” in promotional materials.
The surgery involves tightening the vaginal muscles and support tissues, as well as reducing extra vaginal lining. Moore calls it a tummy tuck for your vagina.
But outside of doctors who have taken Matlock’s course, no one knows for sure how LVR is done, how it differs from procedures that have been done for years or what makes it unique enough to merit its own name, trademark and hefty price tag.
Some doctors criticize the secrecy. If the procedure makes such a difference in women’s sex lives, they ask, why not share the surgical techniques with everyone?
Why indeed?
Apparently, this kind of surgery was originally developed to help women who had experienced incontinence, vaginal tearing, trauma or abnormalities. Because it’s not exactly new territory, some surgeons are questioning why the secrecy, expense and trademarking:
“It’s totally a gimmick,” said Dr. Mark Walters, head of urogynecology at the Cleveland Clinic. “All they’ve done is repackaged existing gynecological operations that have been in practice for over a hundred years, given them new names and charged their patients more money for them.”
Which, of course, draws a response of You’re Just Jealous from a franchisee:
Miklos downplayed that criticism. “It’s human nature to criticize what someone else is doing, especially if what they’re doing is something” that is innovative, he said.
Dr. “Just Jealous” probably doesn’t want word getting out that, despite the line they’re feeding women, tightening the vagina really doesn’t do much for women’s sexual pleasure:
Walters, at the Cleveland Clinic, said claiming that the surgery will improve a woman’s sexual pleasure is pushing things a bit far. A woman’s vagina plays a small role in determining her level of sexual satisfaction, he said.
“Surgery won’t solve a woman’s problem of having a 2-year-old screaming or a husband who is working all the time,” he said.
In fact, no scientific data back up claims that LVR increases a woman’s sexual pleasure, so the American Urogynecology Society will not formally endorse it. The American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology refused to comment.
But you know something? It might give the man a little more of a thrill. Let’s face it, this is probably what this is really all about. It might be sold as “increasing a woman’s sexual pleasure,” but what it really does is feed on women’s anxieties about their bodies, particularly if they’re a little older, if they’ve had kids, and they’re wondering if their husbands still find them sexually attractive. The idea is to play on women’s fears that they’re not good enough as they are, and to dangle the promise of a fix for their insecurities. If only my vagina were a little tighter, the thought goes, maybe Bob would be happier with our sex life, and maybe he’ll stick around. But the marketing goes for an “empowerful” message — this is for YOU! You can undergo painful surgery for your OWN pleasure! You can overcome the horrible deformity that is YOUR body!
Business is booming.
“We have many happy customers,” Miklos said.
Pamela Kirkland is one of them. She said her vagina felt too loose. She and her husband, John, have been married 15 years. They have no children. “Sex was just so unsatisfying,” said Kirkland, 45, of East Dublin, Ga.
She wasn’t willing to give it up, though. “I was 45, not 95. I had a lot of good years left in me to have sex,” Kirkland said. She found Miklos’ and Moore’s Web site and made an appointment to discuss with them what she had been too embarrassed to talk about with friends or her gynecologist.
I really have to wonder if John’s ever gone down on her. Because the clitoris doesn’t get loose. And it’s just disturbing that she’s too embarrassed to talk to her gynecologist — a person who’s seen way more pussies than John has — but she’ll go to a surgeon and go on the record as a satisfied customer. (Indeed, had she brought this up with her gynie, she might have found out earlier she had a prolapsed uterus.)
And, oh, the happy talk from the surgeon. He’s just helping women find the true inner beauty of their pussies!
“This surgery empowers women,” Miklos said. “So many of our patients say, ‘Oh my God, I’m so glad we live in a world where I can be exposed to this and that I was able to see your ad because I was having these problems and now I’ve been able to do something about it,’ ” Miklos said.
Less than 20 percent of Miklos’ practice is made up of women who tell him they want vaginal surgeries because a man criticized the way they looked or felt, he said.
The majority of his patients, he said, opt for aesthetic work because they don’t like the way it looks or because it causes them physical discomfort.
“Those women tell me that someone else pointed it out to them when they were a teenager at a slumber party or that their mother told them it didn’t look right,” Moore said.
And this is a valid reason for surgical intervention?
I’m going to take a wild guess here and suppose that couples in which the woman undergoes LVR (or hymen repair) don’t really talk much about sex. Because I can’t imagine a couple with a healthy ability to discuss sexual issues turning to vaginoplasty as a way to bring a little spark into the relationship. This society is so disordered about sex — it’s everywhere, but try to discuss it like adults, and people freak the fuck out. Long-married couples have sex, but won’t talk about it, won’t raise issues or desires or problems for fear of taking the romance out of sex, or something. People still freak out about the Kinsey Reports, and that was just a description of sexual activity. Add religion into the mix, and you’ve got yourself a recipe for disaster. Especially when you have a doctor with a profit motive.
The doctors charge $4,000 to $20,000 for a vaginoplasty, depending on how much work needs to be done. A labiaplasty costs $4,000 to $6,000. Their practice is considered “boutique” and does not accept insurance.
To Dr. R. Taylor Segraves, a psychiatrist who specializes in sexual dysfunction, the procedure hints of exploitation.
“There’s something wrong when a woman feels her vagina has to live up to some sort of ideal,” Segraves said, sitting in his office at MetroHealth Medical Center.
“The ads and the marketing, it’s making women feel as though they may have a problem when, in fact, they probably do not.”
But I imagine the LVR franchise doesn’t go in for counseling or frank talk about sex as part of their “education” and “creating self-awareness” package for potential patients. Might undercut the business.