In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

Well, I Have Been Told I Look Like Speed Racer’s Girlfriend

Via Shakes, the Face Transformer, which will suck your time away like nobody’s business.

Here’s me as a manga character:

And using a different photo, as a Botticelli:

And as a Mucha:

You can play with age, race, gender, species mixing and various artists. Some are more successful than others. The 3/4 shot’s masculinization looked freakily like my brother, who looks like a male version of me; the straight-on shot’s masculinization looked more like Seth Green. The racial transformations were more successful on the straight-on shot, though with the Afro-Caribbean option, my neck remained white, so I looked like I was wearing blackface.

Also? From these results, I don’t think Botticelli would have known what to do with my pug nose.


19 thoughts on Well, I Have Been Told I Look Like Speed Racer’s Girlfriend

  1. Ooh, this looks fun. Why do I always have to find this stuff during my work hours? I can’t wait to screw around with this.

    The Mucha came out beautiful, but then, looks like it had some great source material to work with.

  2. It did; that’s a professionally-done headshot by an ex. Also, five years and 60 pounds ago. Plus the day of a fantabulous haircut.

    Despite all that, I still use that on personal ads.

    And congratulations, you!

  3. that’s a professionally-done headshot by an ex

    [eyeroll] I meant YOU. What Natalia said.

    And thanks. Still a little freaked out about it, especially now that the wingnut machine’s been cranked up to go after you-know-who.

  4. Oh, but the wingnut machine is the FUN part! I can tell you, having gone through just what you’re experiencing a year ago, that it’s a damn adventure, I tells ya.

    (And thanks; I do accept that I am pretty, even though I won’t share with the class JUST HOW DAMN PRETTY I AM with a realistic photo. But I don’t always photograph well, regardless. Except in government photos, for some odd reason.)

  5. I should also mention, my cheekbones have just been erased by both Botticelli and Mucha. Oddly, they’re preserved in manga.

  6. You’re not kidding about Botticelli and noses. Botticelli gave me a nose so long I could just about sniff my own neck with it. Mucha made me look like Ozma of Oz, which I guess could be worse. It isn’t accurate, but it is pretty.

    But what really cracked me up was playing with the gender–I don’t just mean choosing “masculinise” or “feminise;” I mean telling it the photo I was starting from was a different sex than what it really was. Telling it a photo of my boyfriend was actually a woman’s photo yielded frightening results when we hit “masculinise” and gave him a double dose of manliness. He wound up looking like a backwoods serial killer, the sort of guy who’s named something like Leroy Zane Adkins and drinks moonshine when he’s not out chainsawing the neighbors.

  7. Man, I did the drunk and the baby and they both made me look totally demonic. The masculine just looked like regular me (I’m a girl for those of you, which would probably be all, that though I was a dude. I apologize for the confusion, didn’t want to directly lie to anyone, but I’ve always like the name Tom Cody. I’ll give you a cookie if you tell me what movie it came from🙂

  8. Interestingly, a beard (such as the one that I have) is kept through all of the transforms. For example, baby-me is a bearded baby, but with an oddly youthful beard. Also, I wish that young and teenage me looked anything like those transforms. My face has changed a lot.

  9. I should also mention, my cheekbones have just been erased by both Botticelli and Mucha. Oddly, they’re preserved in manga.

    That explains why the manga is the one that looks the most like you…

    But Natalia is right about your looks. That, and you look about 30.

  10. Here he comes…here comes Speed Racer…he’s a demon on wheels…

    Trixie and Racer X were the really hot ones. Unbeknownst to Speed, Racer X is his older brother who saves him in dire circumstances…

  11. Undeniably, Racer X is the least understood driver on the circuit. Both feared and revered, he inspires rumors that whenever he competes, crashes are sure to occur.

    Unbeknownst to Speed (and his family), Racer X is really his older brother, a fact we are reminded of throughout the series. Long ago, while competing in a race, Rex crashed a car Pops built. Subsequently, he ran away from home when Pops told him he lacked the necessary experience to race professionally.

    Somewhere along the way, he adds “secret agent” to his resume. He uses his experience as a race car driver for his primary occupation at the Paris-based International Police. Apparently, being a professional racer isn’t enough for this thrill-seeker. While he keeps one eye on an array of criminals (all agents of International Spies, Incorporated), he keeps the other on Speed. Out of nowhere, he appears to save his brother – and sometimes Spridle and Trixie- from dire circumstances.

    In the end, Racer X foresakes racecar driving to become a full-time secret agent. No longer lured by fast cars, he turns his attention to the much more dangerous game of establishing world peace…However, he vows to an unconscious Speed that he’ll “be near if you ever need help, no matter where you might go.”

    An emotional Speed declares, “Rex, wherever you are, I promise to be the best racer in the world and to make you proud of your younger brother.” And so he did.

  12. You know, Speed Racer’s girlfriend was kinda hot.

    I played around, and the Asian version of me turned out very nicely. I think it might be prettier than real me, haha.

  13. That manga one is rather terrifying, at least to me. And I actually thought your cheekbones looked very nice in the second two, although I see how they’re sort of flattened out on your left side. Does your posting of these pictures mean you’re going to become a little less anonymous now that you’ve quit your job (and perhaps corporate law altogether?–if that’s what you were doing; I don’t really know the divisions of law that well)?

  14. All three of my pictures using the Botticelli filter came out looking eerily like the Mona Lisa. Same eyes in particular. And GOD, i’d make an ugly man.

Comments are currently closed.