So let me get this straight. He was masturbating while sitting on a tree stump by a transit station and… Well did he sit on the awl by accident or did he shove it up their himself? At least it’s better than a poorly shelled packet of cocaine that ruptured and overdosed him.
No. Seriously? That is the most trifiling thing I’ve read in the past week. He had a sharp tool up his ass? While masturbating? In public? I can’t even begin to comprehend.
Rectum? Nearly killed ‘im. Nice! John Sheehan, 33, of Pittsburg, was initially arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure. Can there really be “suspicion” of indecent exposure? Isn’t that a pretty open-and-shut case?
That article made the wall of fame at my journalist friend’s house. I think it was mostly because of the headline that accompanied it in Portland; Naked Man, Concealed Weapon.
Gad, while I was still working as an assistant librarian that would have made the bulletin board of weird stories, for sure. My favorite was, I think, the man who threatened workers at Kennedy campaign headquarters with a sword. One of them distracted him with a slice of pizza.
It sounds like he should have been sarcastic. I mean, if you’re naked and the police ask you if you’re hiding anything, you’re duty-bound to say “Yes, I’ve got … up my butt(!)”
Honestly, reading the headline I thought to myself “This might cause some problems with the whole ‘two objects cannot simultaneously occupy the same space’ law in physics.” Then I read the article and wished I hadn’t. Also, how randy must have the guy with the tool up his butt have been when asked if he had any weapons concealed on him? Awkwaaaaaard.
Ah the merry El Cerrito BART Station. I love the Richmond train, always has the nuttiest of the nutties for some reason.
If it had been a .44 Magnum now that would have been a story No, if he had been able to use the .44 Magnum without removing it, now that would be a story. Could be a whole new genre: The Buttslinger.