In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

9 out of 10 Americans don’t know calculus; therefore, it should not be taught in public schools.

Nathan Tabor demonstrates why we should perhaps regulate homeschool curriculum:

Or consider this: A national poll reported by CBS News two years ago indicated that Americans don’t believe in human evolution. Fifty-five percent said God created humans in their present form, i.e., no apes were involved in the creation of man and woman. And yet, school districts throughout the U.S. continue to waste their precious resources teaching children that man evolved from monkeys. It seems to me that, if a child believes that he or she has an ancestor who’s an ape, he or she is more likely to behave like one.

Oh Nate. You’re pretty. So if most Americans don’t believe it, but nearly every single scientist does, we should toss out those fancy “facts” and instead teach majority opinion. If only we had stuck to our guns in the days of Gallileo, the world would be a much better place.

This bit of special wisdom follows Nathan’s argument that “abstinence-plus” sexual health education — that is, sexual health education that gives students complete and honest information — is bad, even though the vast majority of parents support it being taught in schools. Yet comprehensive sex education is taught in fewer than half of the public schools in this country. Apparently, while parental opinion on which subjects they want their children to learn should be discounted, the completely uninformed, unscientific, counterfactual opinions of some parents should dictate what their children learn in class. If Nathan had his way, we’d all still be thinking that the world is flat, because dominant ideologies would replace scientific fact.

And then there’s the biggest money-waster—the failure to teach children the difference between right and wrong.

I’m going to cut him off here and pose this question: How can we be wasting money on not doing something? Not teaching moral absolutism isn’t costing taxpayers a dime. Although if Nathan went to public school, I want my money back.

The fancy name for the problem is moral relativism. It’s a concept that’s preached in the mainstream media everyday: “No one should force his or her moral values on anyone else…That’s your truth, but not my truth…Don’t post your Ten Commandments here.” There is a religion taught in public schools—it’s just not the Judeo-Christian kind. It’s a religion dedicated to the principles of the American Civil Liberties Union and the National Education Association. God is irrelevant; the state is divine; and everyone should take an oath of “tolerance”—meaning an acceptance of whatever kind of deviant lifestyle is being promoted at the moment on television.

Why not spend some of our tax dollars teaching schoolchildren that life really means something—that every child in the womb deserves a chance at life? Let’s face it—if you teach a student that killing an unborn child is acceptable, what’s to prevent that child from growing into a teenager who thinks it’s O.K. to pick up a gun and shoot someone? It doesn’t matter whether the weapon is a semi-automatic or a scalpel—a killing is a killing.

Word, Nathan. Skip science class and march right into a comprehensive course on “Why women should have no rights to their own lives.” Otherwise, there will be school shootings. Because, you know, it’s not like the majority of school shootings are perpetuated by white male adolescents in red states with lax gun control laws.

And the thing that tends to prevent people from picking up guns and going on shooting sprees, despite the fact that abortion is generally legal in this country, is that whole moral relativism bit. We’ve evolved (ha, kidding! God created us) to be able to understand complex moral dilemmas. There are some killings of human beings that are socially sanctioned and almost universally justified — like killing enemy soldiers during combat or killing someone in defense of your own life. There are other killings that are more controversial, but still have backing from a decent segment of the population — like civilian casualties in war time. We understand that some killings are more justified than others, and that it’s generally ok to, say, kill cancer cells that are attacking your body. It’s generally ok to shoot someone who is brandishing a gun and attempting to shoot you. It’s generally ok to kill an animal and eat it, should there be no other food source. We also understand that killing is not always active — if your uncle goes into kidney failure and you’re the only possible match for a transplant, have you killed him if you refuse to give him a kidney?

That’s exactly how we maintain the social order — by recognizing that context matters, and that not every kind of killing is the same. Shooting kids at school isn’t the same as shooting enemy soldiers on the field. Terminating a pregnancy isn’t the same as shooting someone on the street. It’s a black-and-white worldview that’s dangerous here, not a morally relativist one.

In the kind of school budget that I’m proposing, we’ve cut out money for condom education, evolution propaganda, liberal indoctrination, and abortion promotion. That leaves quite a bit of money left. And we should be using that money to make schools safer and teenagers more disciplined.

Let’s take some of the leftover cash and spend it on metal detectors. After all, a middle school student’s life is just as precious as a business traveler’s. If we care enough about airborne terrorism to place metal detectors in airports, we should care enough about school-based terrorism to install detectors in schools. It’s a shame that we would have to take this step but, with school shootings becoming a routine part of the headlines, it’s now necessary.

And finally, let’s devote some money for boot camps for teens. It’s the only way to get some teenagers in shape—and out of prison.

Why do I have a feeling that Nathan would place himself in the category of teens who don’t need to go to boot camp, and instead promote sending those tough “urban youth” there instead? (And if he’s worried about teenagers getting killed, perhaps bootcamp isn’t the best choice). Boot camps also aren’t very successful successful of keeping teenagers out of jail. Although I’m sure that they would make great holding pens for all those “undesireable” teens clogging up the public school system.


39 thoughts on 9 out of 10 Americans don’t know calculus; therefore, it should not be taught in public schools.

  1. Someone ought to point out, as seems to always be necessary when discussing human evolution, is that evolutionary theory does not maintain that humans “evolved from monkeys” or that “apes were involved in the creation of man and woman.” Humans and non-human primates share common ancestry, which is not the same thing.

    Geez.

  2. On top of that, this little gem:

    It seems to me that, if a child believes that he or she has an ancestor who’s an ape, he or she is more likely to behave like one.

    …was dealt with back in 1860 during a debate at Oxford between Bishop Wilberforce and T.H. Huxley. According to some eyewitness versions of this debate, Wilberforce ridiculed Huxley’s defense of Darwin by asking Huxley whether he claimed ancestry from monkeys on his mother’s or his father’s side. Huxley’s alleged response was that he was not ashamed to have a monkey for an ancestor, but would be greatly ashamed to have as an ancestor someone who used his intellectual gifts to obscure the truth. This supposedly caused quite an uproar and thoroughly embarrassed Wilberforce.

    Not every account of the debate confirms this, but it’s a fun story. 🙂

  3. There is a religion taught in public schools—it’s just not the Judeo-Christian kind.

    Judeo-Christian? What religion is that? I was pretty sure there was Judaism, and Christianity, but I’ve never heard of the First Church of Judeo-Christianity.

    But if Mr. Tabor really wants ‘right and wrong’ taught in schools, I’d be happy to have my religion taught–it’s way older than his. He might not like it when his kids tell him they’re not allowed to eat bacon anymore, though.

  4. Let’s face it—if you teach a student that killing an unborn child is acceptable, what’s to prevent that child from growing into a teenager who thinks it’s O.K. to pick up a gun and shoot someone?

    I thought of those nutjobs who shoot abortion clinic doctors, and my brain twisted into an Escher-like knot.

    And if evolutionary theory is “propaganda”, where are our Communist-style big, brightly coloured posters and wall murals showing triumphant peppered moths and the like, and brave, muscular, hardworking revolutionary scientists, and wordy slogans? (You know, like this, except with the Origin of Species.)

  5. Nathan Tabor demonstrates why we should perhaps regulate homeschool curriculum:

    Nathan Tabor demonstrates — with the help of your excellent fisking — his own lack of logic, as well as why we should work to keep people like him away from *all* education policy.

    I salute the snark but cringe at the idea of additional homeschool regulation (which varies by state), because the regulating would ultimately be done by the same “godly” folks pushing abstinence-only sex ed, half-assed (if any) evolution ed, and mindless rounds of standardized testing. Then Texas pinkos like me wouldn’t have any viable educational alternatives.

    I homeschool my sons because I want them to understand human reproduction and sexuality before they’re adults, because I want them to learn science without apology or fudging, because I don’t want them learning jingoism as history, and so on.I don’t want to have to justify that to a state-appointed church lady.

  6. I love the term “moral relativism.” It’s a basic way of saying, using logic and making up your own mind is wrong, you must believe what the Bible says! And I follow Judeo-Christian ethics, but just the Judeo part, so this guy wouldn’t agree with my beliefs anyway. And the schools are supposed to teach morals? I must’ve been brought up wrong, since my parents did that and I’ve never killed anyone or committed a crime.

  7. Humans and non-human primates share common ancestry, which is not the same thing.

    THANK YOU. That drives me up the frickin’ wall. And it seems to me that 99.9% of people who don’t belive in evolution DON’T UNDERSTAND evolution.

    Seriously? It’s not that difficult a concept, people.

  8. is that whole moral relativism bit. We’ve evolved (ha, kidding! God created us) to be able to understand complex moral dilemmas. There are some killings of human beings that are socially sanctioned and almost universally justified[…]. We understand that some killings are more justified than others, and that it’s generally ok to, say, kill cancer cells that are attacking your body.

    Sorry to be such a pedant here, but what you are describing as “moral relativism” is not moral relativism at all. You are not saying everything is OK or that moral systems are relative: you are saying that there are, e.g., some forms of killing that are absolutely wrong, and, by extention, that any “moral system” which fails to make appropriate distinctions in the face of potentially complex moral systems isn’t as, er, evolved, as a moral system which can handle real world complexity. You are displaying a sort of meta-morality which is anti-thetical to “moral relativism”.

    OTOH, let’s consider the “morality” of so many on the religious right. As far as they are concerned, no matter what you do, no matter what choices you make, you will be involved in some situation in which you will have sinned so badly that your soul is irredeamable except via the sacrifice of Jesus. Now how different is it to say “no matter what you do, you’ve sinned” from “no matter what you do it’s ok”? In either case, one postulates a completely relativistic moral system in which all alternatives are equal. If one says “by merely believing one is descended from apes, one might become apelike” (btw … is it my imagination, or do these religious right types so concerned about the superiority of humans, seem a little, er, prideful? and didn’t pride used to be a deadly sin?), what kind of moral code does one really posses?

    When the religious right starts blasting non-fundies for being moral relativists, they are engaging in projection pure and simple. Let’s not ourselves be moral relativists and call the religious right on the deficiencies of their so-called moral systems. If they want to dictate morality, what they want to dictate ought to at least be an actual morality, eh?

  9. What I want to know is why anyone’s teaching morals in school to start with. Sure, civics and law are good things to learn in public school, and logic and critical thinking, and (possibly) how to make ethics-based argument, though that is more suited to university. But morals… morals belong in church and from parents.

  10. ” ‘Humans and non-human primates share common ancestry, which is not the same thing.’
    THANK YOU. That drives me up the frickin’ wall.”

    I must admit that I have never understood why this bothers people so…The truth is that if you saw the common ancestor of humans and (say) orangutans, you’d say “check out that ape”–and you’d be right…it WAS an ape. Similarly, the common ancestor of humans and squirrel monkeys sure as hell was, indeed, a monkey.

  11. It seems to me that, if a child believes that he or she has an ancestor who’s an ape, he or she is more likely to behave like one.

    It seems to me, if a child believes that he or she was divinely created by God to have dominion over the Earth and that the Earth was created solely for the purposes of humanity, the more likely they are to trash the place and not care about its upkeep. Because it is, after all, only a temporary home for our divine, eternal souls. A rental if you will. And we all know what happens to rentals. 8^D

  12. Gosh, what is with these people being against condoms!!! Do they not have fun sex? I bet they are a real fun one in the sack, “Come here honey, my weiner is stout because God told me I should get you pregnant tonight”. Geez. I hope it never comes to lunatics like that making rules for everyone. When I have kids (when I want them of course because my stack of condoms will always be full and my pills always at the ready) I will teach them anything and everything they need to know about those wonderful wonderful inventions. I don’t know what the big deal is about making everything so secret, it just makes it more alluring.

  13. And it seems to me that 99.9% of people who don’t belive in evolution DON’T UNDERSTAND evolution.

    Indeed. I would even go so far as to posit a causal relationship between them.

  14. In the kind of school budget that I’m proposing, we’ve cut out money for condom education, evolution propaganda, liberal indoctrination, and abortion promotion. That leaves quite a bit of money left. And we should be using that money to make schools safer and teenagers more disciplined.

    When you propose a budget, aren’t you supposed to have, you know, figures? How much time and money does he think actually gets spent on that stuff?

  15. Or consider this: A national poll reported by CBS News two years ago indicated that Americans don’t believe in human evolution. Fifty-five percent said God created humans in their present form, i.e., no apes were involved in the creation of man and woman.

    “Lies, damn lies, and statistics.”

    Polls don’t mean shit if you don’t know how they’re conducted–what was the form of the poll, how were the questions phrased, how were the questions communicated (through a person–male or female–seen or unseen, through a paper or machine)? How many were polled and from what sections of the country, what age range, what education levels, what religious beliefs?

    See, of my peer group all through school, 70% or more maybe believed in evolution or creationist-guided-evolution, and I’m being generous to allow for those who wouldn’t speak up in that environment (of the vocal, it was much closer to 95%). This would be those who are now in the 20-25 age group and were educated in a heavily American Catholic area of northern KY (Catholicism has no problems with meshing scripture and evolution, and many American Catholics like to toss out what’s not convenient doctrine as it is). Just an illustration of the effect age, geography, and religion can have on a poll.

    This is all aside from the fact that Tabor is arguing on BS logic that something people don’t believe in shouldn’t be taught, but that’s covered.

    The fancy name for the problem is moral relativism.

    Some religions demand moral absolutism from their followers. Okay, that’s cool. I understand where that comes from. However, other religions incorporate moral relativism. Perhaps the rules of one religion seem to damn the members of another religion, but if the moral absolutist cannot come to terms with this cognitive dissonance, that’s too bad. The moral relativist has the right, under Amendment I of the Bill of Rights to the Constitution of the United States of America–a very old right, at that–to the practice of their religion. Further, the moral absolutist does not have the right to demand legislation enforcing or establishing their beliefs. Observe:

    “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

    I realize it seems like we pass laws on morality all the time, but there’s more to it than that. See, there’s all sort of good reasons to pass laws on issues which also happen to be moral issues for some people–say, murder or thievery. These are outlawed, sure, and many people, of various parts of the judiciary chain, can tie morality into it because, generally, most people find these things morally objectionable, or at least, objectionable.

    But outlawing murder and thievery have real and solid benefits to the society outside of religious and moral beliefs. One doesn’t need to believe in any particular belief set to desire the state to protect their rights to life and possessions. Outlawing murder and thievery is not part of establishing the Christian faith (nor Judaism, Buddhism, Islam, etc. etc. etc. honestly I don’t know of any religion which approves of these things); further, it does not prohibit the free exercise of faith (I’ll say with full prejudice, the exercise of any reasonable faith). These laws are in accordance with the first Amendment.

    However, what about things like, say…no longer teaching evolution? Outlawing same-sex marriage and adoption? Outlawing abortion? Outlawing embryonic stem cell research? Are these things done for the purpose of helping society, or to establish religious standards or prevent the free exercise of others’ beliefs?

    The thing about morality/religion is that it kinda sucks to be a good person, especially as a moral absolutist who will have a set of beliefs which define many things as undeniably wrong. You don’t get constant accolades, you don’t get patted on the back wherever you go. People do bad things. They don’t just do the obvious bad things–say bad words, or do bad things to people, or whatever–that’s the “easy” stuff you can stand up against proudly. What people do is, they do bad things to people you don’t like, bad things to people doing things you don’t approve of–and you’re called to stand up for those people, too. You’re called to stand up for the rights of people to practice things you don’t approve of. It kinda sucks to be a good person. Half the journey is getting to the point where you can stand to be a good person.

    I kinda feel like I’m coming off as a hypocrite for writing this. It’s more like thinking “aloud,” and maybe a little personal pep talk.

    Let’s take some of the leftover cash and spend it on metal detectors.

    Wha…what? Metal detectors? I read that and thought you forgot the /blockquote tag…

    Kids can’t even have backpacks anymore in the public high school I used to attend. What a great way to address the bullying, drug selling, rumor milling, power abuse, and other crap that administrators, teachers, and students promoted. Fucking paranoid twops. It’s really not about “the children,” though, it’s about control, 8-4. Keep kids off the street and in a controlled environment. God, I hate the public education system. Rant, rant, rant.

    As for money, I’m to understand that private schools tend to be much better at spending than public schools. I remember my middle school buying new textbooks for each core subject (English, math, science, social studies) every year–that was a new math book every 4 years. My Caculus book, meanwhile, in private HS, was so old there was no longer any place to write my name on its inside cover. I was witness to the principal offering our Calc teacher a chance to buy new books, but she turned it down because our book was completely adequate–“Math really doesn’t change all that often.” (In that school, we didn’t even use a book in American History. Our teacher put no stock in history textbooks.)

  16. 90% of Americans don’t know calculus?

    Seriously?

    I mean, I know my peer group is pretty heavy on the math and science, but I had no idea that general understanding of calculus was so… rare.

    No wonder we’re ranked waaaaaay down near the bottom internationally. Sigh.

  17. Judeo-Christian? What religion is that? I was pretty sure there was Judaism, and Christianity, but I’ve never heard of the First Church of Judeo-Christianity.

    I knew a girl in high school who claimed to be a “Jewish-Christian.” She would make up a lot of holidays she supposedly celebrated that no one could find any evidence of, but the admins let her get away with it and didn’t count her absent those days. She was also a compulsive liar. Fun times.

  18. I knew a girl in high school who claimed to be a “Jewish-Christian.” She would make up a lot of holidays she supposedly celebrated that no one could find any evidence of, but the admins let her get away with it and didn’t count her absent those days. She was also a compulsive liar. Fun times.

    Compulsive like a fox!

  19. Well, consider that among Americans 25 or older, about 28% have completed a college degree, and it’s typically in college where you get your first exposure to calculus, and that’s only if your major requires it. I had calculus in high school, but those of us who took it then certainly weren’t in the majority.

  20. I must admit that I have never understood why this bothers people so…The truth is that if you saw the common ancestor of humans and (say) orangutans, you’d say “check out that ape”–and you’d be right…it WAS an ape. Similarly, the common ancestor of humans and squirrel monkeys sure as hell was, indeed, a monkey.

    I see what you’re saying here. The common ancestors of modern apes and humans were ape-like; the point I was trying to make is that there’s a taxonomic (and evolutionary) distinction between our ancestors and the hominoids of today. It’s been my experience that when people take issue with the idea of human evolution,they often have the mistaken notion that humans somehow came from modern-day great apes, which isn’t the case. Perhaps I assumed that’s what Tabor meant when in fact he didn’t.

  21. Well, I had calculus in high school but don’t remember a thing about it, except that Sir Isaac Newton invented it when he was 21 years old. But that’s only because I named my cat after him.

    I love how idiots like Tabor always think moral relavitism is so horrible. When I’ve always thought one of the biggest problems in the world today is moral absolutism.

    But then I’m Wiccan. The only ethical rule we have is not to hurt anyone, which I’ve always thought covers just about everything nicely, and much more completely than say the 10 commandments. And that one rule isn’t even absolute; it’s called the Wiccan Rede, “rede” being an old Anglo-Saxon word meaning “advice”, as in, you should try your very best not to hurt anyone, but it is acknowledged that sometimes it is just unavoidable, or that the choice is between the lesser of two evils.

  22. I have been informed my a student of mine that in the Kokomo (Indiana) area, high schools are not allowed to teach evolution (I’ll assume this means biology class). She has never learned about eveolution at all until this (her sophomore) semester in college, where she is being taught evolution at a private Catholic college.

    Fucking blows my mind.

    The thing is, learning about something doesn’t mean you are required to believe it or in it. I’ve learned about Satanism, that doesn’t mean I’m a Satanist (or even thing it’s a good idea).

    Just… holy fucking shit.

  23. It seems to me that, if a child believes that he or she has an ancestor who’s an ape, he or she is more likely to behave like one.

    Why shouldn’t he or she? Humans are, after all, great apes. Would you rather the child acted like a great cat? A rodent? Slime mold?

  24. Let’s face it—if you teach a student that killing an unborn child is acceptable, what’s to prevent that child from growing into a teenager who thinks it’s O.K. to pick up a gun and shoot someone? It doesn’t matter whether the weapon is a semi-automatic or a scalpel—a killing is a killing.

    I don’t know about anyone else, but I don’t remember abortion being covered in my high school curriculum*. Certainly not to the point of instruction on how to perform abortions as Nathan implies was taught at his HS. Of course, if his HS really had a course in surgical abortion, he must have failed it because he doesn’t seem to understand that the equipment involved in a typical surgical abortion consists of dilators and curretage. No scalpels needed.

    *Neither was spelling. Obviously.

  25. I knew a girl in high school who claimed to be a “Jewish-Christian.” She would make up a lot of holidays she supposedly celebrated that no one could find any evidence of, but the admins let her get away with it and didn’t count her absent those days. She was also a compulsive liar.

    Sounds like perfect material for an upward career in corporate management, politics or stock brokerage. If she goes the wrong way in life, she could at least sell used cars after getting out of prison.

    I don’t know about anyone else, but I don’t remember abortion being covered in my high school curriculum

    Not in my school either, but then I imagine that Nathan makes the convenient jump from girls possibly (somewhere) being seen as seperate human beings and not just fuck-objects or wives in the making, then abortion instruction goes right along (with lessons in condom use I suppose – because we all know how condom use leads to abortions) with all that.

  26. It’s stuff like this that makes even a decentralize-it-all anarcho-libertarian sort like me think that everybody, darnit, needs to invest some serious time in studying social epistemology. What’s worse than the general staggering ignorance of the population is the specific ignorance of not understanding what constitutes a reliable source of knowledge and why. Of course, those who need it the most are the least likely to seek it out.

    Sigh.

    And man, that poor straw-relativist needs some relief.

  27. 9 out of 10 Americans don’t know calculus; therefore, it should not be taught in public schools.

    i work at a call center for a major credit card company. if you have a credit card, chances are, you have that card through the company i work for. 9 out of 10 people i talk to every single day have no idea how finance charges are calculated, how the minimum monthly payment is calculated, or even what they agreed to when they entered into the contract in order to obtain the card.

    i’d agree to stop teaching calculus in schools, if they instead, taught people how to read a contract, and how to manage their credit.

    i wouldn’t surprise me to learn that the same people who don’t believe they “evolved from apes”, are the same people who call in asking why they were charged a late fee when their payment was a day late. which part of “payments made after 5:00 pm eastern time will be posted the following business day” don’t you understand?

  28. I too get annoyed when people conflate “monkey-like ancestor” with “monkey” when talking about our ancestors. The main reason is that from an evolutionary point of view, all the species alive at the moment are winners. We’re all at the top of the ladder. Saying that we descended from apes makes us sound like a more advanced model of ape, when in actual fact, apes aren’t less advanced, they’re just a different type of advanced. So yeah, as someone said above, the ancestor may look ape-like, but it is a distinction worth making. Put it this way, saying that we descended from apes is as logical as saying that apes descended from us. We’re cousins, not parents and offspring.

  29. I have been informed my a student of mine that in the Kokomo (Indiana) area, high schools are not allowed to teach evolution (I’ll assume this means biology class). She has never learned about eveolution at all until this (her sophomore) semester in college, where she is being taught evolution at a private Catholic college.

    I never learned evolution in school (southern WV–nobody believed in evolution there. It’s a very fundamentalist area). The first I ever heard about it was in catechism at the only catholic church in the county. And in fact, my mom was a math teacher at the high school I used to go to and got stuck teaching a 9th grade general science class. She wasn’t allowed to mention evolution (or Big Bang theory or anything else scientific other than classification and Newton’s laws) either. When she called to complain to me about it I sympathized. Some of my introductory astronomy students at the university get very angry with me about teaching it–in fact, most of the bad reviews I’ve gotten have been because I’m completely unapologetic about it and I include it in the exams. It’s a shame, really, that some people can’t handle even a mention of something that is not in compliance with their worldview.

  30. 90% of Americans don’t know calculus?

    Sure, that’s not hard to believe. When I was in high school, we were required to have three credits of math to graduate, but it wasn’t a strict progression. I knew I was in over my head in trig so I stuck to algebra and geometry. Knowing that I was going into college to get a degree in History, I didn’t sink my gpa further by taking math classes that I no interest in, and knew I wouldn’t do well in. I imagine that it’s like that for the majority of kids who aren’t going into science or math heavy majors in college.

    At the high school my daughter is going to, it’s the same deal. The progression is Algebra I, Geometry, Algebra II and then if you wish, Trig, Analytical Geometry and/or Calculus.

  31. I took Calculus in HS, but I don’t remember any of it, so I’d count as one of those 9 of 10. I loved the class, but I didn’t need to study math in college (studied Spanish for the brief time I was there), so of course I forgot it.

    I’ll never forget basic Algebra, because it’s useful in daily life, but the rest of math I just don’t need. :'[ ::mourn::

  32. I’ve always believed that if you’re taught you were created by a magical sky fairy who molded you out of a handful of dirt, you must have a dirty mind.

    So far, I haven’t seen any cases that would cause me to doubt this.

  33. From working on my own ancestry, I have found my 4th great grandfather was convicted as a counterfeiter- can I use that as a defense if I ever choose to go into the family business?

  34. And a quick RANT- SHOW ME A WOMAN WHO HAS A “WOMB”!!! GET RID OF THAT FUCKING WORD ONCE AND FOR ALL!!!

    Argh…too much of the kids’ Halloween candy hitting the blood system…

  35. I have been informed my a student of mine that in the Kokomo (Indiana) area, high schools are not allowed to teach evolution (I’ll assume this means biology class). She has never learned about eveolution at all until this (her sophomore) semester in college, where she is being taught evolution at a private Catholic college.

    Ah good ol’ Kokomo Indiana, my hometown! Ah the bigotry and ignorance brings a tear to my eye!
    I went to a great public highschool there my last two years of highschool, but I didn’t take any biology so I can’t confirm or deny anything about the status of evolution. All of my “biology” courses were taken at a moronic private school where I learned about “apologetics” also known as “learn to use half-assed lies to disprove evolution”, taught by a crazy bitch from South Africa.

  36. I’m way late to the party here, but I had run over the column with some friends of mine, and I’d like to share. Here’s some other wacky things you can prove with the simple “most people think it’s true” test.

    The scientific method does not involve proposing experiments to test falsifiable hypotheses, explain data and make predictions.

    Lasers work by focusing sound waves, and electrons are not smaller than atoms.

    ESP is a real phenomenon. Well, it was in 2001; it’s not any more.

    The universe did not begin with a huge explosion. (Technically, I suppose, it was more of an expansion.)

    Thanks, Nathan Tabor! I was about to go to school and read books and study the evidence for these things, but now I realize that I can just ask people. Man, I sure feel sorry for those scientists.

    Also, “if we’re apes”–sheesh! Does he even know how evolution works? Of course we’re apes! We’re all hominids, we’re all apes, we’re all simians, we’re all “dry-nosed primates”, we’re all primates, we’re all placental mammals, we’re all mammals that give live birth, we’re all mammals, we’re all amniotes, we’re all tetrapods, we’re all jawed vertebrates, we’re all vertebrates, we’re all skulled animals, we’re all chordates, we’re all deuterostomes, we’re all bilaterally symmetric, we’re all animals, we’re all eukaryotes.

  37. You know what is laughable in that bit about his whine about moral relativism?

    The Ten Commandments *are not* absolute laws. They are intended for the Jews only. They happen to mirror some of the laws for those who want to be righteous as gentiles (e.g., not killing or stealing), but gentiles aren’t bound to keep the sabbath, to avoid taking the lord’s name in vain, to avoid covetousness, etc.. Jewish law is one of the first instances of moral relativism, that certain people are bound, by their society, to different standards.

    Jews were “chosen” to live according to higher standards; it’s much, much easier for a Jew to sin than for a gentile. A gentile community was righteous for following a small number of laws, while Jews have to hold to hundreds.

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