Oh Abstinence Clearinghouse, where would I go to for laughs if not for you?
Today, we have the fine pieces of literature sold at the Abstinence Store, and I think they do a pretty good job of demonstrating how abstinence-only advocates feel about men and women:
In case you can’t see the image very well, that’s “Every Young Man’s Battle,” with a picture of an upstanding young man checking out the hot ass on a clearly not-so-upstanding young woman. And if that weren’t enough, it’s worth noting the subtitle of the book: “Strategies for Victory in the Real World of Sexual Temptation.” The description:
In this world you’re surrounded by sexual images that open the door to temptation. They’re everywhere-on TV, billboards, magazines, music, the Internet-and so easy to access that it sometimes feels impossible to escape their clutches. Yet God expects His children to be sexually pure. So how can you survive the relentless battle against temptation? Here’s powerful ammunition. Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker, the authors of the hard-hitting best-seller Every Man’s Battle, now focus on the temptations young single Christian men like you face every day-and they offer workable, biblical strategies for achieving sexual purity.
Compare to “Every Young Woman’s Battle”:
Subtitle: “Guarding Your Mind, Heart, and Body in a Sex-Saturated World.”
Got that? Young men are out to achieve “victory” through abstinence (in which I suppose their victory booty is, well, you know…) whereas women are abstinent in order to protect said booty. The description of the young women’s book:
Guys Aren’t the Only Ones Fighting a Battle for Purity. The world you live in promotes sex as the answer to just about everything. The pressure to go along with the crowd is greater than ever before, and it’s easy to compromise in little ways that are a lot more harmful than they seem. You and your friends may become caught up in destructive relationships or sexual activities without even knowing how you got there. You just want to be normal–to fit in, to be liked, to look attractive to the opposite sex. But are you paying too high a price? This counterpart to the award-winning Every Young Man’s Battle can help you: · learn how the sexual battle begins in your heart and mind · understand your hunger for attention from guys · recognize and avoid the potential pitfalls awaiting young women on the journey toward adulthood and possibly marriage · find out how the media, novels, fashion, internet chat rooms, and body and beauty obsessions influence your sexual choices–and what you can do about it · guard your mind, heart, and body against sexual and emotional compromise · develop a deeper, more satisfying level of intimacy with God Whether you have so far protected yourself emotionally and sexually, feel that you’ve been robbed of your purity, or have given in to temptation in some way, this book can help you achieve or reclaim sexual integrity. It can also guide you through the temptations and pressures of young adulthood while demonstrating how you can live your life to the fullest–without regrets.
Men are actors who are trying to achieve something. Women are passive recepticles, trying to protect themselves, maintain their “integrity” and avoid the robbing of their purity. Men have independent sexual desires that are stoked by “the culture.” Women simply want attention, and might give in to sex in order to get it.
In my review of Jesus Camp, I wrote quite a bit about the war-like language used by a lot of the documentary’s subjects when they talked about promoting their religion and “taking America back” for the Christian right. That kind of language isn’t just limited to strict religious advocacy — it certainly extends to religious advocacy that’s thinly veiled as “education.” See, for example, “God’s Gift to Women“:
within the rugged soul of every young man, there is a warrior in search of his sword and a poet in search of his pen. But heroic, prince-like masculinity is something most women only dream of in today’s perverse and self-serving world. With contagious passion and boldness, Eric Ludy challenges you to forsake modern male mediocrity for Christ-built, warrior-poet manhood-manhood that will capture the heart of a woman and change the course of history.
Am I the only one here who would definitely not be interested in someone who fancied himself to be an example of Christ-built warrior-poet manhood?
Many of the books sold by the Abstinence Clearinghouse represent gender essentialism to the extreme: Men are out-of-control booty-hounds who can only temper themselves by channelling their rape-and-pillage instincts into other arenas, like Jesus; women are fearful of sex but desperate for attention, and are willing to do anything to please men — which is good, unless they take it too far and displease Jesus, and besides, pleasing men sexually is only temporary, because afterwards they’ll think you’re a huge slut and won’t want to marry you. Men are conquerors and warriors. Women are waiting to be conquered, but should only allow that conquering to happen if she’s gonna get something out of the deal, too — and that “something” had damn well better be big, glittery, and at least a karat.