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I Think I See Your Problem

piny

Via Scott Lemieux at Lawyers, Guns, and Money, a post by Belle Waring about evo-psych which brought some Nice Guys crawling out of the woodwork:

The best part about this post was actually two of the comments, which capture all that is irritating about Nice Guys TM and add a frisson of illogical insistence that women—as is their incomprehensible wont—choose, not merely men who treat them badly, but ugly men who treat them badly. You read that right. They pass up on the good-looking, kind men, because they think such men are too confident and the women themselves want to domineer a spineless man who will lord it over them and treat them badly because they have low self-esteem because they’re a bunch of stuck up bitches! Or something, I kind of lost the thread. Sure to derail discussion, and pushing the post to Holbovian lengths; nonetheless I cannot restrain myself and must re-post them in all their splenetic splendor. Ladies and Gentlemen, I bring you Stephen Dubner some guy who’s totally hott:

Here’s his thesis:

Any good looking guy knows that women favor ugly men.

Got it? That’s sentence one. Reasonable enough, right? Now, look at sentences two and three:

It is a mystery, just like every single action that most females undertake. Maybe its about their low self esteem, since all good looking women have low self esteem, just look at the supreme arrogance they display, that is really a sign of an inferiority complex.

Women are irrational! They hate themselves! They’re uppity! How do I know? They won’t sleep with me, that’s how!That is what this guy is telegraphing to all the single gals out there. And yes, of course he goes on.

But no, no, he’s not getting laid because he’s just too handsome. The problem couldn’t possibly be his personality. It couldn’t be the entitlement. It couldn’t be the resentment seething just under the surface. It couldn’t be the chip the size of Guam perched up there on his shoulder. No woman ever gets close enough to smell any of that. No, they take one look at his full head of hair, chiseled jaw, godlike physique, and brilliant smile and run screaming.

Riiiiiiiight.

Now pull the other one. It secretly wants you to.

26 thoughts on I Think I See Your Problem

  1. …just look at the supreme arrogance they display, that is really a sign of an inferiority complex.

    Is he describing himself? All I see is bullshit macho posturing put on to cover up for some serious lack of self-worth. Something tells me this is the kind of guy who thinks insulting women to their faces makes him seem “attractive and independant”.

  2. I have my own confession to make. I hate the Nice Guy’s ™ co-opting of the adjective “nice.” Why? B/c I actually AM nice. And these fuckards stole my damn word.

    Assholes.

  3. Another sufferer from Toxic Personality Syndrome TM, poor fellow, his personality probably peels paint at 20 meters. Seriously I was so socially inept as a youth to the point that my first lover had to practically beat me about the head and shoulders for me to pay attention and even I could have recognized him for the totally self absorbed jerk he is.

    If his thesis is correct how does he explain George Clooney? Good looking and a nice guy who has lots of women friends. Hmm, that may be the answer; Clooney treats women as real people, not as his personal sex bot. Stephen Dubner, on the other hand, seems to think women are irrational if they don’t throw themselves at his feet and beg him to let them give him a blowjob. An inflamed Entitlement node along with TPS, poor fellow is a real wreck.

  4. It’s a mystery, oh yes indeed. If you attribute every negative trait in the book to women who won’t put out for your benefit, some of them are going to conflict with each other, who knew? And just because your sweet right hand thinks you’re teh best evar, women have the nerve to disagree. Why? It’s such a mystery.

  5. For those who don’t want to follow the trail of links back to CT, here’s Belle’s kicker:

    Maybe I really will set him up with my sister, since it sounds like he might have been a good man, if there’d of been somebody there to punch him in the face, every day of his life.

    You know, if Holbo and I weren’t such good friends–and if I weren’t too damn handsome for a looker like her to consider–I’d ask her to runaway with me.

  6. What I want to know is, if women are so dumb, hypocritical and prone to making bad decisions, why does he want to go out with one anyway? If we’re as bad as he claims, he can’t possibly be looking for a relationship here, but for a vagina.

    And for some reason he can’t get laid!

  7. If we’re as bad as he claims, he can’t possibly be looking for a relationship here, but for a vagina.

    Reminds me of a joke my ex used to tell.
    Q: What do you call the disgusting bit that surrounds the vagina?
    A: Woman.

    I think he was telling it in an ironic “look how stupid this sexist joke is” kind of way, but I’m not sure.

  9. I guess Angelina Jolie is the exception that proves the rule.

    Seriously, though, it seems to me that the looks that get you laid, other things equal, are, by definition, good.

  10. No, they take one look at his full head of hair, chiseled jaw, godlike physique, and brilliant smile and run screaming.

    Riiiiiiiight.

    piny, I love your slapdowns. I snorted.

  11. Any good looking guy knows that women favor ugly men.

    This theory sounds like it would dovetail nicely with my as-yet-unsubstantiated hypothesis that women won’t sleep with me because my penis is too large.

  12. Sorry to sound so ignorant, but what exactly are “Nice Guys (TM)”? From what I’ve heard here (especially in the troll and Asian fetish threads) I couldn’t tell one apart from your standard-issue misogynist asshole.

  13. “What I want to know is, if women are so dumb, hypocritical and prone to making bad decisions, why does he want to go out with one anyway?”

    When it comes right down to it, we are all dumb, hypocritical and prone to making bad decisions at some point or another. This guy probably understands this, but as has been said before on this blog, he uses that as an excuse not to look at his own shortcomings.

  14. What I want to know is, if women are so dumb, hypocritical and prone to making bad decisions, why does he want to go out with one anyway?

    When it comes right down to it, we are all dumb, hypocritical and prone to making bad decisions at some point or another. This guy probably understands this, but as has been said before on this blog, he uses that as an excuse not to look at his own shortcomings.

  16. exangelena: A Nice Guy is a misogynist asshole who also has a gigantic entitlement complex. Not only does he think women are evil, he also thinks they’re plotting against him and laughing at him behind his back. Quite possibly he was also not loved by his mother.

    I recommend searching here and Pandagon for “Nice Guy”; there should be an illuminating number of posts where the Nice Guy is dissected and analyzed.

  17. Sorry to sound so ignorant, but what exactly are “Nice Guys ™”? From what I’ve heard here (especially in the troll and Asian fetish threads) I couldn’t tell one apart from your standard-issue misogynist asshole.

    Nomie gave a good explanation, but I want to add that they’re extremely manipulative. A common trait is that they bitch about how they’ve been their crush’s friend THROUGH EVERYTHING! and ALWAYS LISTENED TO HER! even when THAT JERK (you know, the one that actually asked her out) broke her HEART!

    And then either she won’t read his mind and make a move on him after he has given NO clues that he would like to date her, or she isn’t interested in him as anything more than a friend.

    I mean, how dare she omg!!!

  18. Nomie – I searched pandagon and found Amanda’s “nice guy spotted in the wild” post. Yeah, I’ve seen that type lurking on blogs before, usually busting feminist discussions so they can whine about horrible women are because he can’t get a date etc etc.

  20. Yes. My fiance works with one. He was telling me all about how another coworker (a cheating, emotionally abusive assbag) gets all the girls because girls secretly want assholes. If I hadn’t been working so hard to not punch him in the face, I would have pointed out that said coworker gets women because if you come onto every single woman you see, eventually you’ll find one who doesn’t spot that you’re a douchebag until after you’ve trapped them in a cycle of abuse.

    The NiceGuy specifically refers to guys who blame their failures to get dates, sex, or relationships on the fact that they’re “too nice” and women don’t want “nice guys,” they crave abuse, neglect, and arrogance. All the while, he groups women into one giant homogenous group and derides them (usually with specific examples). And then he uses the example of how nice he is, but he doesn’t get laid, so obviously women don’t like nice guys.

  21. exangelena – also, hit up Heartless Bitches International – they have the best (IMO) on Nice Guys(tm)

  22. A Pang oh yeah, and for some reason they always want to talk to me when I’m at the bar trying have a drink and some dinner

  23. Any good looking guy knows that women favor ugly men.

    The argument disproves itself. If men with looks favored by the vast majority of women are “ugly”, what’s the standard for “ugly”?

  24. Nick, I’ve often thought that an interesting feature for a blog would be to post just the punchlines of really misogynist jokes once a week. We’ve all heard them.

  25. What I want to know is, if women are so dumb, hypocritical and prone to making bad decisions, why does he want to go out with one anyway?

    Two reasons, in order of importance;

    1. To show he can;
    2. Sex.

    Seriously, it’s mostly about showing that you’re such a great guy that a woman wants to date you. And it has to be a woman who your peers think is desirable, because if you’re going out with someone nobody else wants, how does that show you’re better than other men?

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