Is there anything that we can’t blame feminism for?
From the comments over at Dawn Eden’s place, we have some deep thoughts about marriage, women, and how feminists have totally fucked shit up. And apparently, it’s our fault when a woman is stabbed to death and none of the 38 onlookers call the police:
I believe that Planned Parenthood, NARAL, et al. are in a sense responsible for instances like the Kitty Genovese case.
NARAL sorts are, in a nutshell, saying to the larger community:
“Don’t impose your morals on me. Get your rosaries out of my ovaries. It’s my choice. I’m autonomous. No man’s gonna’ tell me what to do…”
The weary response of the community is to say (specifically, here, to the young women in society):
“OK. OK. Alright, already. I won’t butt into your life. Do whatever the heck you wan’t. Go get your &*%#$ abortion. Go, sleep with a dozen men per week.”
Genovese was left to die by a society that had gotten the message, so to speak, that truly modern sorts don’t meddle in one another’s affairs.
To put a finer tip on my point, the upshot is that men and women are told, more and more, to disassociate from one another. In a world where no one harrasses one another, also no one counsels or helps the other.
Aside from her assailant, Kitty was autonomous in the ally.
Right. Autonomy will get you killed. I think my favorite part is the idea that harassment is a good thing, because without it no one would help anyone else. Because when that guy cat-calls you on the street or screams at you as you walk into an abortion clinic, he’s really just trying to counsel and help you.
And the fun doesn’t stop there, kids. No, someone actually says, “A lot of guys don’t buy the cow when they get the milk for free.” And they say it without a hint of irony.
And then there’s the 50s nostalgia thread. Ah, the good old days:
It is simply absurd to assert that we were as “liberated” as today. There may be some class differences and rural vs city differences to be taken into account but as someone who came of age in a solidly middle class family in a solidly middle class high school I can tell you that us teens were generally horrified by pre-marital sex and were extremely harsh on those we suspected of “going all the way”. There was still a Florence Crittenden home (refuge for pregnant teens to hide out in until birth) in my town. We used to peek at the girls going in and out with a combination of horror and sympathy.
To clear up any confusion, she’s explaining why the 1950s were better times.
If only we could return to our solid middle class morals of yore, and leave the fornicating to the poor people.
When someone points out that the 1950s weren’t exactly ideal for women, gays and lesbians, people of color and various other groups, the respones are… interesting. And completely revisionist. Because, look, the blacks had it good back then and the homos were really treated quite well:
In high school, “going all the way” was a huge accusation, something the other girls whispered about. Good girls may have fallen too, but the only girls generally known to do so were sluts. Same with drug use. This was still the case when I graduated in 74, but it disintegrated fast after that.
We had our homos, public and private–Paul Lynde, Liberace, etc, and two boys in the neighborhood grew up to be gay. One of our gym coaches was assumed to be lesbian. These people weren’t shunned or persecuted. Because what sexually active homosexuals actually do to each other wasn’t widely known, homos were looked on with bemusement rather than disgust. Homosexuals belonged to the world of broad comedy–check out old movies–but aggressive, predatory homosexuals were perverts of the darkest morality and we didn’t know much about them other than the occasional lurid news story. As for the neighbor boys, I remember sensing something was off and feeling concerned and dismayed. They gravitated away from us rather than we from them.
…
Advertisers and schools did not sexualize children. We were allowed innocence and gradual awakening, even in L.A. in the 60s and 70s. Decent people, especially girls and women, did not spout four-letter words or make lewd jokes, and the while we girls worked hard to be sexy and win erotic attention (as has been the case from time immemorial), we were more sophisticated about it in the way we dressed–not exactly modest by historical standards, but not like the sad girls of today either, who hang out our wares like fishmongers with a load to sell before it rots.
…is that “fishmonger” line referencing what I think it is? Because, eew.
The 1950s were a very bad time to be black.
Except living in Harlem then was safer then it is now and it was a much more family oriented neighborhood. There were more black families, and now 80% of black children are born out-or-wedlock compared to 12% then.
While I agree that we should never “go back” so to speak, because realistically, we just can’t. And yes, somethings have changed for the better, some for the worse. But let’s give credit where credit is due about things that were fixed that weren’t broken and visa versa.
Of course we shouldn’t go back, because that’s physically impossible! But the system where black people knew their place was working just fine until these “civil rights” liberals had to go screw everything up.
I also like the line about how there were more black families in Harlem in the 1950s — clearly indicating that the commenter doesn’t perceive a single-parent househeld to be a “family.” No, if you’re a single parent, then you are family-less. Go get hitched, sinner.
I do not take as a given that the 1950s were a worse time for blacks either. Obviously they were worse in terms of civil rights. But the black underclass today is quite arguably worse off than it was in the 1950s. The cycle of poverty has gotten worse and the breakdown of morality is the reason. In the 1950s the black illegitimacy rate was 22%. Today it is nearly 70% (in the ghetto it is over 90%).
He then goes on to refer to the black community as “our underclass.”
I don’t know that many people wish that gay people would go back into hiding, but I do think that many people wish that sexuality would return to the privacy of the bedroom where it belongs. Most people, “small-minded” social conservatives included, simply do not care, much less obsess, about “what other people do in the privacy of their homes.” But we do care that such sexuality has been forced upon us. We do care that the sexuality of supposed privately-minded people gets publicly imposed upon us.
Lance is gay? What business is it of mine that Lance is gay? And why does he and his publicist and People magazine think that it is appropriate to impose it on the world? It is none of my business, just as it is none of my business what Pamela Anderson and Kid Rock do in their bedroom (no matter how many video cameras she brings in with her).
Because identifying as gay is the exact same thing as releasing a video of you having sex with your partner.
The “quit shoving your sexuality in my face!” line is perhaps one of my favorite homophobic arguments. Because of course, when a straight couple walks down the street holding hands, they aren’t shoving their sexuality in anyone’s face. When a straight couple gets married, they aren’t shoving their sexuality in anyone’s face. When it’s simply assumed that everyone is straight, sexuality isn’t being shoved in anyone’s face. When I mention “my boyfriend…,” I’m not shoving my sexuality in anyone’s face. And I’d imagine this guy would argue that heterosexuality certainly is not being forced on anyone. But if a person simply says “I’m gay,” they’re forcing their sexuality on you. Funny how that works.
And then there are those unladylike women:
I was born in ’72, and there was a time in my lifetime that even though boys were able to get away with being a bit more crass, girls really were not supposed to curse, or be too loud. I saw that start to change with one wild and crazy free-spirited girl in HS, then two, then three. I have to admit, at the time I thought the one girl like that was cool. Now all girls are wild, crazy, free-spirited and speak their minds with all kinds of four-letter words, and a lack of any original adjectives, it is almost a cliche. And the respect for becoming ladies has all but vanished.
Girls being wild? Free-spirited? Loud? Speaking their minds?? Sweet Jesus, someone get me some smelling salts, for this is just too much for my fragile feminine disposition.
Now it’s time for me to step slowly away from the Dawn Eden.
(No, I’m not back to blogging regularly, I just had some downtime in Belgrade and decided to torture myself.)