My head hurts. I hope Simon LeVay and Dean Hamer send these people a cease-and-desist letter, if they’re at all able:
Truth is, there’s no scientific proof showing that people are “born gay.”
So why do people say they didn’t “choose” to be gay?
Because we didn’t choose to be gay. Someone needs to write “Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence,” on a blackboard several thousand times. Then they need to apply their own reasoning to the insistence that homosexuality is chosen, since no one’s ever been able to find evidence for that theory nor yet any common denominator among homosexuals apart from homosexuality.
NBarnes made this comment on the Pandagon post:
I remain deeply uncomfortable with defenses of queer rights that are based on immutability and ‘being born that way’. Screw that shit. Being queer is a fine and good way to be.
I agree with the idea that this sets up an implicit hierarchy between gay and straight. Heterosexuality is clearly the best option, and what we’d all hope for. However, some of us just weren’t lucky enough to be born straight, and must make do with the orientation they have.
I’m familiar with this same implication with regard to some descriptions of transsexuality: we were born wrong, and the surgery and hormones are going to fix the error upstairs and make us more like you. Of course no one would choose to be transsexual, but it’d be unjust to deprive someone of the pursuit of normalcy. Some transsexuals have no problem with the medicalized narrative, and believe that it highlights some crucial aspects of their experience–namely, that their lives prior to transition really did feel all wrong, and that they furthermore do want to be more like everyone else. Some transpeople are bothered by it, because it limits the available categories to two and deprives them of agency as they see it. It is true that transsexuality is more palatable to some people–even some fundies and conservatives–because they see it as normalizing. It is also true that the “birth defect” story can invoke pity rather than respect.
However, when it comes up in this context, I don’t think it’s necessarily an attempt to excuse homosexuality on the grounds that it’s unchosen. I’ve heard that argument, usually coupled with, “Because who would ever choose to be gay?” I think the goal is to explode the whole poisonous fundie narrative. It goes something like this:
Hi there! My name is “John.” I grew up with a domineering/abusive/slutty/alcoholic mother and an abusive/distant/absent/passive/alcoholic father. I might or might not have been molested by my uncle/priest/pastor/father/coach. I was skinny and clumsy, a late bloomer. I was shy and bookish. I never learned to catch a ball or stare at breasts, and felt alienated from my peers. They teased me and rejected me in turn. I craved validation from men. When I reached tenth grade/twelfth grade/college, an older man initiated me into the homosexual lifestyle. I had finally found men who would be friends with me! As a result of their influence, I did a lot of drugs, ingested a lot of alcohol, and had oodles of meaningless sex. I was addicted to the fleeting sense of male companionship and intimacy. I desperately wanted love, but there was none to be found! Every gay around me wanted one thing, and one thing only: ass. Eventually, I hit rock bottom. While I was recuperating in the hospital from the combined effects of alcohol poisoning, autoerotic asphyxiation, and severe latex allergy, I was visited by Reverend Hayes. He put me in touch with the wonderful people at Exodus, who helped me identify the root causes of my homosexuality and come back to Jesus. Thanks to them, I now experience normal heterosexual attraction, and am in a loving relationship with my wife of two years. Thank you, Jesus!
In this instance, the “just like you” disputes the idea that homosexual attraction is inherently pathological. Gay people are effectively saying that they’re attracted to people of the same sex for the same reasons and in much the same way as straight people. Gayness isn’t the result of a dysfunctional upbringing. It’s just sexual and romantic interest just like yours.