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Yes, You Are Going to Hell For This

Not ok: Slapping Jesus Christ’s name on something in order to turn a profit.

The fake rose petals strewn across the tablecloth gave Milton Hobbs’ booth a romantic aura. He stacked crystal-cut perfume flasks in a pyramid and set out pink candles tied with ribbon. The effect was almost sexy — at least compared with the other booths at the International Christian Retail Show.

Hobbs liked it. He needed a striking display to call attention to his most unusual product.

“Christian perfume,” he said. “It’s a really, really new genre. We’re the first!”

Virtuous Woman perfume comes packaged with a passage from Proverbs. But what makes the floral fragrance distinctly Christian, Hobbs said, is that it’s supposed to be a tool for evangelism.

“It should be enticing enough to provoke questions: ‘What’s that you’re wearing?’ ” Hobbs said. “Then you take that opportunity to speak of your faith. They’ve opened the door, and now they’re going to get it.”


And here I thought that women weren’t supposed to tempt men. I guess if you can use temptation as a trick to bring them to Christ, it’s ok.

Just how using Christ in order to thicken your wallet must be ok, too. Or, hey, forgoing all that crap about modesty and advertising the old-fashioned way:

The retail show offered Christians plenty of ways to provoke such discussions.

Skintight scoop-neck T-shirts for teenage girls bore slogans that practically begged those not in the know to ask questions. “Wood & nails — a powerful partnership,” one read. On another: “Life without you is not an option.”

And yet the religious right tried to defund the National Endowment of the Arts over Piss Christ. I wonder how they feel about the complete commodification of their religion? Oh, right, they like the fact that it pays their bills.

I think, just maybe, this is the point that Andres Serrano was trying to make.


40 thoughts on Yes, You Are Going to Hell For This

  1. Skintight scoop-neck T-shirts for teenage girls bore slogans that practically begged those not in the know to ask questions. “Wood & nails — a powerful partnership,” one read.

    I feel like that’s the sort of thing that’ll show up on ironic hipsters and high schoolers in a week. “Get it? WOOD and NAILs. Huh huh. Huh huh.”

    At what point does Jesus come through the marketplace and turn over their tables and booths and tells them not to profit from holiness, etc?

  2. “They’ve opened the door, and now they’re going to get it.”

    OMG – this cracked me up. And it is SO TRUE. That’s just how these people think…

  3. Heh, I was thinking. If someone would go there dressed as Jesus and turn the tables over, you’d get on TV easy. Just say the right words and make sure you are heard.

    Heh, here I am advocating mayhem. Take my suggestion with salt please.

  4. “It should be enticing enough to provoke questions: ‘What’s that you’re wearing?’ ” Hobbs said. “Then you take that opportunity to speak of your faith. They’ve opened the door, and now they’re going to get it.”

    Ok, so the idea is to lure them in with sex and then hit them with Christ? But I thought women who allured men in this way were causing them to sin? But I guess its okay if she brings in new recruits? What is the script that goes along with this… “I see you are attracted to the way I smell… you must be sinner… come to Jesus!”

    I’m confused… but I guess the ends jusify the means? or something? Because I always thought the “enticement” to salvation was… salvation.

    Do they have a men’s version? Because I’ll listen intently to any drivel a hunky good-smellin’ man has to say.. and even better if it will save me from eternal damnation…

  5. Floral scent…? I was thinking something like frankincense would be more appropriate.

    According to a study I once read: Prepubescent girls like a fruity scent. Mature women prefer something musky. And post-menopausal women are the ones who go for floral. (I’m not going to try to draw any kind of conclusion here.) The study didn’t report men’s preferences, that I recall.

  6. Okay, I’ll be the token Christian. Just a couple comments.

    First of all,

    Why is is that all these Christians somehow avoided ever reading Matthew 19:24?

    All this verse is saying is that the richer a person is, the less likely he or she is to maintain the sort of devout humility embodied by Jesus (after all, we all know what money has a strong tendency to do to a person), and so, the harder it will be for that person to fully devote him- or herself to the purposes of God.

    Wealth is not a sin. Nor is running (or trying to run) a successful business.

    Now, whether or not a product like “Christian perfume” is appropriate is another issue entirely. Frankly, I think these people are nuts.

    And second, while I think you’re all right to criticize Christians for selling things like “Christian perfume” and skimpy clothing, keep in mind that what these people are doing is trying to make their faith look more and more like what is typically characterized as secularism. I can’t help but find it odd that liberals so often criticize conservative Christians for being “behind the times,” and then when Christians start selling trendy, “[s]kintight scoop-neck T-shirts” with Christian messages on them, we’re told that this is “Not ok” and criticized for being inconsistent hypocrites.

    It’s no wonder Christians can never win with you people. The goalposts keep moving.

  7. It’s no wonder Christians can never win with you people. The goalposts keep moving.

    Or because you say things like “it’s no wonder Christians can never win with you people.”

  8. “I know where you’re coming from if you think it looks like we’re merchandising or trivializing Christ, but this is a way to connect,” said David Lingner, who developed the Christian Outdoorsman line, including a camouflage-print Bible cover.

    From his center at Boston College, Wolfe views such products with bemusement. Waiting for someone to remark on your golf ball or perfume, he said, is hardly a forceful way to fulfill the Great Commission, the Biblical command for Christians to spread their faith and anoint disciples. “I think they’re fooling themselves,” he said.

    No kidding.

  9. Bryan

    Or because you say things like “it’s no wonder Christians can never win with you people.”

    I can’t, for the life of me, imagine how you think this is relevant.

    In my statement, “you people” refers to both (a) liberals in general who make the accusations I explained in the paragraph just prior and (b) liberals at this blog in particular. Southerner that I am, I could’ve said “It’s no wonder Christians can never win with y’all,” but alas, I hate typing “y’all.”

    But hey, way to avoid the issue entirely!

  10. I can’t, for the life of me, imagine how you think this is relevant.

    It’s relevant because you complain that you “can never win,” and yet you do it in a way that’s a bit condescending. You can’t expect to walk into a progressive, liberal space (because that’s what this site is, you come here enough to know that) and make your point heard if you’re going to be insulting to the people who populate that space (i.e. the “liberals at this blog in particular”).

  11. what these people are doing is trying to make their faith look more and more like what is typically characterized as secularism

    No, what they are doing is making money. Keeping up with the times does not require turning a profit.

    Its “Buyer Beware” when seeking Christian products because while some of these vendors may be adhering to Christian values others are probably just exploiting a market segment.

  12. Bryan,

    It’s relevant because you complain that you “can never win,” and yet you do it in a way that’s a bit condescending. You can’t expect to walk into a progressive, liberal space (because that’s what this site is, you come here enough to know that) and make your point heard if you’re going to be insulting to the people who populate that space (i.e. the “liberals at this blog in particular”).

    This would all be well and good if the “liberal space” wasn’t already “a bit condescending” before my arrival.

    Notice the third commenter:

    OMG – this cracked me up. And it is SO TRUE. That’s just how these people think…

    Something tells me you didn’t recoil in moral disgust at the sight of such “condescending” language until I used a similar phrase.

    (And for the record: I didn’t find the above comment condescending at all.)

    Listen, I hear you loud and clear, Bryan. And I’d feel some need to apologize if it’d been the case that I marched condescendingly into a crowd of utterly civil and deeply respectful liberals. But that’s not generally the case over here at Feministe (which is fine, by the way).

    No, as is almost always the case, the Christian peppers his comments with sarcasm and, rather than actually addressing the comments themselves, the non-Christians in the room go berserk about his being sarcastic. I can see that “you people” have all taken Diversion 101.

  13. G&R the issue, with me at least, is not that Christians sell things, or make money, or make lots of money.

    The issue is, that certain Christians, and in particular certain fundamentalist Christians, talk of absolutism and harangue “us people” when they practice something entirely different.

    The issue is that they bemoan the worldly and harangue “us people” when they practice their own self-righteously approved version of worldliness.

  14. Kat,

    No, what they are doing is making money.

    By doing what? By making the clothing less and less modest (a characteristic typically associated with Christian values) and more and more trendy (a characteristic typically associated with secular values).

    There’s a huge debate going on among modern-day Christians as to just exactly (a) how “relevant” the Church ought to make itself to the 21st century world and (b) what that “relevance” ought to look like. So, in the past few decades, we’ve seen the booming popularity of “contemporary” worship music, etc. Some Christians, unfortunately, take their concern for “relevance” much too far, compromising Christian values for the sake of appearing “cool” to non-Christians. Having grown more and more popular, especially in the past 5-10 years, it’s a process that many are referring to as “the secularization of the modern Church.”

    It’s not just about making a quick buck.

  15. “Christian” is becoming a marketing term, like “low-carb” or “Xtreme.”

    Bingo. You can create an entire new market for your product if you slap “Christian” on it.

    What I wonder is why so many Christians buy into this scheme.

  16. j swift,

    The issue is that they bemoan the worldly and harangue “us people” when they practice their own self-righteously approved version of worldliness.

    I couldn’t agree more. And as a Christian, I take their behavior much more personally than most non-Christians.

  17. [Making money] By doing what? By making the clothing less and less modest (a characteristic typically associated with Christian values) and more and more trendy (a characteristic typically associated with secular values).

    And they’re making money from it. Their ideas of modesty don’t sell, so they compromise their principles, repackage what they would normally deride as secular and slutty as “Christian,” and bingo! Good Christians who wouldn’t dream of letting their daughters wear belly shirts with a Bebe logo buy the very same shirt with a Christian slogan on it.

  18. Not ok: Slapping Jesus Christ’s name on something in order to turn a profit.

    So we can finally get Christ out of Christmas. Yay.

  19. Skintight scoop-neck T-shirts for teenage girls bore slogans that practically begged those not in the know to ask questions. “Wood & nails — a powerful partnership,” one read.

    I feel like that’s the sort of thing that’ll show up on ironic hipsters and high schoolers in a week. “Get it? WOOD and NAILs. Huh huh. Huh huh.”

    …Hee. Now I want one.

  20. I’ll jump in as the second Christian with G&R and get slapped around a bit.

    Christians are no different than anyone else (liberals and bloggers here included) in that we are all human and all fall short of the kind of consistent, I’ll-put-others-needs-first kind of people we’d all like to be. These people, those people, them people – we all say it and more importanlty we all mean it when we say it. Why? Because it makes us part of this group to point out the failings of that gourp over there. And then of course we act offended when the other side uses the terminology. We are all really pretty pathetic.

    Now one difference is that Christians are supposed to confess shortcomings like this and ask for forgiveness for them everyday. That seems like a departure point in approach. Whether it is practiced or not is something else.

  21. “I can’t help but find it odd that liberals so often criticize conservative Christians for being “behind the times,” and then when Christians start selling trendy, “[s]kintight scoop-neck T-shirts” with Christian messages on them, we’re told that this is “Not ok” and criticized for being inconsistent hypocrites.

    It’s no wonder Christians can never win with you people. The goalposts keep moving.”

    Xians who constantly talk about the need for modesty, abstinence etc and now they’re selling skin tight tee for little girls. That is hypocritical. They constant demonize anything deemed “secular” and now they’re trying to emulate secular business. That is hypocritical. They wnat everyone to respect their religion, but then pimp it out for a profit. That is hypocritical.

    And, to help you find all the business that pimp Jesus for profit just pick up your handy dandy: Shepherd’s Guide http://www.akroncanton.shepherdsguide.com/

  22. “Christian” is becoming a marketing term, like “low-carb” or “Xtreme.”

    Yup. And religion is becoming a marketing opportunity like weddings and babies, where they convince you that you need WAY more in the way of material goods to do it right than you really do. You can get married at town hall, you can have a baby in the back seat of a car, and you can find religion on your knees. You don’t need to spray “Christian” perfume on someone to get her to *entice* some converts.

    I am suspicious of the claim that anything that bills itself as a Christian product embodies Christian values. Some things of course are valid Christian products. Someone is making money from selling bibles, I am sure. But I think its a stretch to sell the perfume as a way to spread the Word.

  23. G&R, Mr. from Minnesota, you’re not the only Christians here, nor the only religious folks. I know a lot of the folks here sort of shorthand the certain-kinds-of-Christian arguments, but many of them are coming from a place of seeing teachings they admire, take to heart, or find vital to their lives compromised or perverted. They’re assuming everyone else here, I think, understands that these are not criticisms of Christianity, but of certain people who make a lot of noise about it and then betray its basic principles. There are progressive/liberal Christians, after all. In my experience, they’re treated with respect here; the supposed dichotomy between “liberal” and “Christian” generally isn’t.

    I take these things personally, too. It’s an argument I used to have a lot with an atheist ex. Those of us who believe that religion can have value in people’s lives and do good in the world are much more hurt when it’s used for harmful or profiteering purposes than those who think it didn’t have any value in the first place.

  24. Like I said, Christians are supposed to stand up and take responsbility for the shortcomings of their living vs what they espouse. No-one more inconsistent than myself.

  25. See- I think for the perfume to work really well, it would have to smell absolutely rancid- in fact, it could smell like burnt hair/flesh. That way, they could ensure that people would comment on it and say “Ugh! What is that putrid smell!” and then the xtians could start screaming about hellfire and damnation and muahahahaha! convert now or that’s what it’ll smell like for all eternity! muahahahaha!

    Or not.

    But, uh, as an avowed athiest, I can tell you Mr. G&R, that the reason Christians can’t win with me, personally, is because… I don’t want to be converted! All the fancy smellin’ perfume and scantily clad preteens in the world cannot win me over! When I was 8 my friend tried to lure me to CCD with the prospect of candy, but I wasn’t fooled- and if you can’t bribe me at age 8 with candy, I don’t think anything else is going to do it. Sorry, but no matter what you do- if it’s with the intent of pushing your religion on people who don’t want it, they will be annoyed. I promise you.

  26. Hobbs said, is that it’s supposed to be a tool for evangelism.

    I think HE’s the tool.

    And I’m surprised noone’s come up with “the odour of sanctity” as a possible name for the product.

  27. See- I think for the perfume to work really well, it would have to smell absolutely rancid- in fact, it could smell like burnt hair/flesh. That way, they could ensure that people would comment on it and say “Ugh! What is that putrid smell!” and then the xtians could start screaming about hellfire and damnation and muahahahaha! convert now or that’s what it’ll smell like for all eternity! muahahahaha!

    I call it “Sackcloth and Ashes.”

    Watch for “Eau de Roasted Heretic” in the spring, and “Tears of the Jews” just in time for inserts in September Vogue.

  28. G&R, Mr. from Minnesota, you’re not the only Christians here, nor the only religious folks. I know a lot of the folks here sort of shorthand the certain-kinds-of-Christian arguments, but many of them are coming from a place of seeing teachings they admire, take to heart, or find vital to their lives compromised or perverted. They’re assuming everyone else here, I think, understands that these are not criticisms of Christianity, but of certain people who make a lot of noise about it and then betray its basic principles. There are progressive/liberal Christians, after all. In my experience, they’re treated with respect here; the supposed dichotomy between “liberal” and “Christian” generally isn’t.

    Another practising Christian here, and I second what Little Light said. I have never felt marginalized, disrespected because of my faith, or as though I can’t win at Feministe. Have you considered that maybe the reason *you* can’t win isn’t that you’re a Christian, it’s that you’re tactless and belligerent?

  29. “Christian” is becoming a marketing term, like “low-carb” or “Xtreme.”

    Ha! True, true.

    But people have actually been trying to profit off Gawd’s name for quite some time (even before Tammy Faye was batting those crusty eyelashes at us). And where you find profit, you’ll find marketing.

  30. Tammy Faye

    Hee hee. I was wondering when her name would come up in this discussion. She just epitomizes Christian modesty to me. Ooh! ooh! she could market a whole line of Come-to-Jesus False Eyelashes, to be used to bat your baby blues at prospective converts . . .

  31. I’ve always been amused by a chain of stores around my area called “Christian Supply.” Because you need to buy crap to be a good Christian?

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