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I Give Them Six Months

Yesterday’s Cary Tennis column is a doozy, starting with the headline:

I suspect my wife’s “miscarriage” was not spontaneous

Oh, that just speaks of a strong, healthy relationship, dunnit?

I strongly suspect that my wife’s miscarriage last year was intentional, i.e., she had an induced abortion. At the time we were both 31 years old with a combined income of just over 100K. We were married for about a year. My wife was on medication for depression and anxiety (Paxil with the occasional Xanax). The pregnancy was unplanned and she expressed a desire to terminate the pregnancy a few days after we found out, saying she wasn’t ready to have kids yet, maybe in another year. I really wanted to have a baby and was very upset that she felt this way. We made an appointment for counseling about two weeks out. However, prior to that she claims she had a miscarriage.

So here we have a newly-married, two-income couple where the wife, suffering from anxiety and depression finds herself pregnant and isn’t ready. The husband is.

Not that uncommon a situation, I suppose, and yes, it must suck to be the guy who wants the kid when his wife doesn’t, but ultimately, it’s her decision. Just because you park your sperm inside a woman doesn’t mean you get to control the uterus.

Already we can tell that this isn’t a healthy relationship. I understand that people don’t always view depression and anxiety as “real” problems, but they are. And you’d think he might be a little supportive. But no, when she miscarries, he immediately suspects that she had an abortion. Never mind that something like 25% of all pregnancies end in spontaneous abortion, some so early on that there’s really no reason to go to the hospital. He thinks it was just too conveeeeenient, because she got to have her way prior to undergoing the “counseling” that he demanded (the purpose of which, I’m sure, he expected to be to have someone else help him berate her into keeping the child).

As these things do, it gets worse.

Without going into all the details, the circumstantial evidence strongly suggests she’s lying to me. Also, I’ve had the opportunity to speak with several doctors who have pointed out numerous problems with her timeline, medicine and explanations to me that wouldn’t pass the smell test with a first-year med student. Her story initially fooled me because I’m a guy and didn’t know a thing about pregnancy other than how to start one.

Details, schmetails. I’m just some dumb fuck who got tricked by a scheming woman. Or so my doctor friends tell me — and they went to the Bill Frist School of Remote Diagnosis!

About two weeks later, when I confronted her with my concerns (as nicely as possible considering the gravity of the situation) she became extremely upset and flat-out denied everything. Her attitude was basically, “How dare you suggest I would do something so awful,” and she refused to answer any specific questions. I backed down, considering that, regardless of which was true, both scenarios would be emotionally burdensome to any woman.

I spent the next several weeks avoiding the situation and being as supportive as one could expect, hoping that once there was some distance we could talk in more detail. When I brought it up again about two and a half months later, she reacted the same way. I suggested she get a copy of her medical records, which according to my doctor friends would absolutely state “spontaneous abortion” or “SAB,” if true, and settle the matter conclusively. Same reaction.

Gosh, I can’t think of why your wife might be a bit offended that you’re not only accusing her of lying to you, but that you’re demanding to see her medical records.

What this turd-toucher is leaving out, of course — those insignificant little details — is exactly what happened, and how she told him about the miscarriage. Because almost everyone I know who’s been married and suffers a miscarriage lets their husband know right away that something’s gone wrong, whether or not the situation requires immediate medical attention. At best, this sounds like he’s uninvolved, and at worst, it sounds like he’s so controlling and unpleasant that she doesn’t bother him with little things like accompanying her on doctor visits.

Now, there’s always a chance that she did go out and get an abortion, which she had every right to do. It’s her body, after all, and she was the one who didn’t want to have a baby. In which case, her lying about it indicates that there are either bigger problems with her than anxiety or depression, or that there are serious problems in the marriage.

And if there weren’t serious problems in the marriage before, there are now. How much do you want to bet that, should she become unexpectedly pregnant again, she *will* go out and have an abortion and won’t bother telling him that she’s pregnant?

In the meantime, medical privacy laws were made for assholes like these:

My problem: If I insist she get a copy of her medical records and they show it was a legitimate miscarriage, I win Asshole of the Year and do serious harm to the marriage. If I do nothing, this will eat away at me for some time, also not good for the marriage. If the records show that it was an induced abortion, it will be difficult but I will forgive her. The one sure thing is that the status quo cannot be maintained. Thoughts?


38 thoughts on I Give Them Six Months

  1. Cary Tennis’ advice in that letter is not bad, basically telling him to forgive her without pushing her anymore. You never know with him- sometimes he’s OK, sometimes you scratch your head and go, huh?

  2. I agree that depression is a “real” problem… and shouldn’t be taken lightly. Speaking from experience.

    I just wonder why he couldn’t take her word for it… that he needs proof and has now gone behind her back to find a smoking gun trail. What does that say?

    I really don’t think knowing would solve any problems… because to me it seems he has already lost trust in her and that is one slippery slope. But hey, never married so what would I know?

  3. Yeah, but it ignored the fact that this guy was a huge honkin’ asshole and should have been told so.

  4. Yeah, but it ignored the fact that this guy was a huge honkin’ asshole and should have been told so.

    Yup. Forgive your wife? Forgive yourself for maybe being wrong, not for conducting the inquisition in the first place?

  5. He’s under the delusion that marriage is about “winning.” It isn’t. He needs counseling, and now. And possibly a divorce–horrible though they are, they beat staying with someone you can’t trust. And it sounds quite likely that both of the participants in this particular marriage lack that entirely.

  6. I was trying to get pregnant and then stopped when I realized there were big time problems with my marriage. If this woman ended up having an abortion to avoid harming a child with a divorce, I can really understand why someone would consider doing that. And telling hubby the truth? I think not.

  7. Yeah, and if he does perchance forgive his wife, don’t you just bet he’s going to remind her of every damned day and twice on Sundays?

    Winning at marriage all right. He’s scary and a future MRA/FRA if ever I saw one.

  8. I don’t really understand where his entitlement to knowing what happened comes from. She is the one who gets to decide if she’s pregnant. Even if she did have the pregnancy aborted, he had already given his input. That’s all he can do. Unless he has a lingering feeling that he should have some sort of control over the situation, I don’t know why he’d be upset.

  9. I win Asshole of the Year and do serious harm to the marriage.

    Uh… I think he’s already done that. He’s discussed his concerns with everyone and their uncle… doctors, friends, etc. So we know his respect for her confidentiality is non-existant. Whether she had a miscarriage or not, this is something highly personal and its awful of him to have disclosed it to so many.

    And to demand to see medical records? Geez. Or what? He’ll leave her? She’d be better off at this point. If she’s keeping this sort of thing from him, even after he asks her directly, it sounds like its not such a great marriage anyhow.

    I love how he continues on with the whole malarky about how she doesn’t seem to want kids now… um, yeah I’m thinking the girl has some smarts. Who would want a kid with a man who was willing to put her through all this with an unintentional pregnancy?

    I know several married women who have gone and had abortions while married without the knowledge of their husbands. Okay, so maybe not the most honest thing to do in a marriage but its the woman who bears the brunt of childrearing, it should be her that decides to proceed or not. Sometimes you just don’t have the strength to endure being talked out of it, or having to sit in judgment.

    I am not surprised if she opted for an abortion after telling someone that she was pregnant that she simply told everyone that she miscarried. Abortion still has much stigma attached to it. I’m sure she’s not basking in the attention of their sympathy as much as she is enduring it and hoping this all goes away soon. And it would except he can’t let it.

    I hate the term “legitimate miscarriage”. As someone who has personally experienced both miscarriage and abortion, there is nothing legitimate/illegitimate about either. Having a miscarriage doesn’t feel “legitimate” it feels sad. And I don’t like the implication of an abortion being “illegitimate”. I’m not fond of the clinical sound of spontaneous vs. induced abortion, but at least thats more correct.

  10. I don’t know… I agree he sounds like a huge asshole. If I tell my husband I had a miscarriage, I damn well expect him to believe me and not demand my medical records. In fact, I think any demand to see my medical records would equal the end of our marriage, because I won’t be married to someone who doesn’t trust me, or who thinks he has the right to demand I prove myself to him. On the other hand, if she did lie about having a miscarriage, I could see where he would be upset. I understand the myriad of reasons why she would, but I could understand her husband being upset that she lied to him about the circumstances of what happened. To me, marriage is about trust first and foremost…. if I can’t trust my husband to respect my decisions, I’m better off divorcing him than lying to him. It’s absolutely her decision what to do about an unplanned pregnancy, but lying to your spouse is not a good thing. Now, he has taken it so far in the other direction that if I were her, I wouldn’t tell him shit and would probably divorce him at this point, so I guess I don’t feel much sympathy for him if she did lie about it. His complete assholishness shows exactly why she did. However, with a non asshole husband, I could sort of see his original point of “she lied to me and I’m upset about it”. My husband is in general a pretty decent, non asshole and I think he would be upset if I had an abortion and then told him it was a miscarriage, because it insinuates that I don’t trust him with the truth and don’t value his support or opinion. He seems to have missed the point that the best way to be included in decision making processes is by being supportive and understanding. With my third pregnancy, my husband and I had to decide what to do in the case of a baby of a fatal defect… he simply could not live, no matter what we did. I asked him what he would prefer and he told me, and then ended it with “But I understand it’s your body that’s carrying this child and you that has to go through whatever is done, so ultimately it’s your decision and I will support you no matter what”. That is how you win the right to be included in the decision making process. Not by being upset that the other person doesn’t agree with you, bullying them into counseling and then accusing them of lying to every single person you can find.

  11. I was very secretive with my ex husband years before I had the temerity to leave him. I was preparing. Regardless of the miscarriage/abortion issue, what I see underlying this whole thing is an issue of trust and power.

    Seems to me the marriage has fizzled and the husband is making a last chance effort to gain control he feels he’s lost.

    But then again, there are a plethora of dysfunctional people who stay in dysfunctional relationships, lying, hating, blaming, sneaking, doubting and on and on.

    My take is that if she’s healthy emotionally, she’s preparing or soon considering preparing a departure. If not, then its just the game of the season until a new one takes its place.

  12. Oh and as for the abortion/miscarriage issue, isn’t this just a beeyoootiful example of what the pro-lifers are all about anyway?

    CONTROL.

  13. If I tell my husband I had a miscarriage, I damn well expect him to believe me and not demand my medical records. In fact, I think any demand to see my medical records would equal the end of our marriage, because I won’t be married to someone who doesn’t trust me, or who thinks he has the right to demand I prove myself to him.

    I have seen this too many times. It is the time-tested response of a liar who knows how to exploit the love of the people they are lying too.

    Only two kinds of people drop the “I can’t believe you don’t trust me” line.

    1)Liars
    2) Narcissistic liars.

    Which are you?

  14. Pardon the hyperbole, but I cannot stress how often I’ve seen exactly this game played by serial cheaters and manipulators. I’ve also seen it work on too many naive and insecure people who are blinded by their own love to the fact that they are being used like a tool.

    Secondly, I think you are being hard on a guy who seems, to me, much less interested in controlling his wifes uterus than he is in finding out if he is married to a liar. He could be a paranoid jerk, but its not like unhealthy relationships are odd, or that it takes a “jerk” to accidentally marry a manipulator and liar. He didn’t elaborate on crucial details like the circumstances of the miscarriage – or how she broke the news. He cleary implies that it all supposedly happened without his knowledge and that he only found out after the fact when she told him.

    Furthermore, notice how he mentions nothing about talking to a doctor at the hospital – what kind of person doesn’t call their partner while they’re going to or at the hospital for a major medical complication?

    Truthfully, I think its perfectly reasonable to be suspicious of a partner who told you she didn’t want children and then later claimed to have had a misscarriage without ever having called you to let you know so yopucould come to the hospital. I think youd have to be a near-perfect patsie NOT to wonder if it was all a story.

    Its Uter-US, not uter-YOU.

  15. So a woman who’s actually just had a miscarriage would never, ever take offense at being asked by her husband to produce medical records proving it? You have a strange view of the world, r4d20.

  16. At any rate, whether we have a marriage in which the wife secretly got an abortion, or a marriage in which a wife who just miscarried has been repeatedly accused of getting an abortion, odds are really good we won’t have a marriage for long.

  17. Ah yes, a uterUS, not a uterME, which is why it’s located in our joint pelvis, both of us have a period once a month, both of us are taking hormones ($600/year in meds. Whee) to prevent our uterus from having an embryo implant in it and, should we decide to bear children, we will both suffer through 9 months of pain, sickness, and getting fat, eventually having to stop work, then lay side by side in a hospital bed screaming in pain as something the size of a watermelon squeezes out of our joint vagina. Then we will both take off a long period of time to care for our child, because obviously both parents always care for the child exactly equally, and both of us will nurse until our breasts ache and our nipples are sore.

  18. I bet it was a miscarriage. From his time line, I doubt she had enough time to make an appointment at a clinic after the argument & before the miscarriage.

    I think he’s angry with her for having a miscarriage, and he knows that he isn’t being rational.

    Anyways – I agree that this relationship is, to put it mildly, in trouble.

    He’s getting all CSI with her uterus. That’s just wierd.

  19. Furthermore, notice how he mentions nothing about talking to a doctor at the hospital – what kind of person doesn’t call their partner while they’re going to or at the hospital for a major medical complication?

    Because it sounds like the miscarriage happened early on in the pregnancy. If it happened early enough – well, then it may not have been much more then a heavy period, or some cramps and sitting on the toilet.

  20. He came amazingly close to saying something I read (somewhere).

    This guy asked, if I put my coin in a soda machine and a soda comes out, whose soda is it?

    He’s just mad at his “machine” for malfunctioning.

  21. Winning at marriage all right. He’s scary and a future MRA/FRA if ever I saw one.

    And a former Nice Guy(TM).

  22. Earlier this year I discovered I was pregnant. It was an unplanned pregnancy.

    When I talked to my husband it, we decided that, though it was unplanned, it wasn’t a bad thing. We weren’t expecting it, but we were willing and happy to prepare for it. I started reading books on caring for yourself during pregnancy, taking the pre-natals, setting up my initial doctor visit, etc.

    A little over a week later, I miscarried.

    I estimate I was about 5-6 weeks into my pregnancy at that point.

    It was emotionally hard. Physically, it was really nothing worse than a badly cramping, heavy period that lasted about a week and a half. I didn’t have to go to the hospital. I didn’t even have to go to the doctor. I did keep my first pre-natal appointment, but it became a post-miscarriage appointment to make sure everything was OK. Which it was.

    Miscarriages, especially in early term, are estimated to occur 25-50% of the time. Many doctors think its closer to the 50% mark since women often don’t know they’re pregnant for the first month or two and an early miscarriage will present like nothing more than a ‘bad’ period.

    My money is that she miscarried. And if she’s battling depression and even if she didn’t want the child, a miscarriage is hard to go through.

    Regardless. This guy is already Asshole of the Year. I can’t imagine how it would have felt for my husband to go around behind my back checking my story and demanding I tell him the “truth” after I miscarried. What a fuckwit.

    Oh. And while I’m completely galled by the “Uter-US” comment, I have to say – way to rip off The Simpsons, dude.

  23. what kind of person doesn’t call their partner while they’re going to or at the hospital for a major medical complication?

    Of the four miscarriages I’ve had, only one landed me in the hospital with excessive bleeding. If a miscarriage is “complete” (the body expels everything on its own), no D&C is required. Many women, especially those who miscarry in the early weeks, don’t need to seek immediate/emergency medical attention, and some never seek it at all (although its a good thing to check in with your doctor about it).

    In early miscarriage, the embryo generally dies days before the beginnings of the miscarriage process. The process begins as the woman’s pregnancy hormones decline. At that point, its just a matter of sitting back and letting the process happen and seeking medical treatment if necessary.

    You can even test positive for pregnancy in the days before you are having a miscarriage, which can be misleading and make you think you have a viable pregnancy when in fact the process has already begun.

    My first miscarriage was less prolific than a usual period for me. In fact, some very early miscarriages are mistaken as late periods because a positive pregnancy test was never performed so the mother doesn’t even realize she was pregnant and the bleeding doesn’t seem excessive.

    My point here is that she may have experienced this miscarriage without much fanfare. There may have not been much to call him about. Its a very personal thing to go through and if their marriage is rocky he may not have been the one she called.

    When I experienced my first miscarriage, I confided in my then-husband. It was a Saturday. We happened to have people over for a dinner party, and he insisted that I continue to play hostess so “they won’t feel uncomfortable”. The next day, he insisted that I attend a baby shower for one of his shipmates without telling anyone I had lost the baby, because he was somehow using my pregnancy to secure certain orders he wanted (not sure how). He didn’t want me to spill the beans. So I sat like a good girl and listened to everyone gush about my pregnancy. See, in a BAD relationship, confiding in your spouse isn’t always the way to go.

    On Monday, I finally went to the doctor, who could do nothing more than confirm I had experienced a complete miscarriage and told me to take motrin for the cramps and sent me on my way.

  24. I should clarify something, too.

    In the course of our discussion about my unexpected pregnancy, if I had said I wanted to have an abortion, I know my husband would have supported my decision. Because we also talked about that choice. When it came down to it, however, we both felt that we wanted to continue the pregnancy and have a baby. Nature, it seems, had other plans. Such is life.

  25. Its Uter-US, not uter-YOU.

    Stop abusing Latin!

    I think that the letter-writer was very conscious of how he presented the facts in order to absolve himself of any involvement. If he couldn’t have been aware of a miscarriage, how could he have not been aware that she went to have an abortion? Do they both work really long hours or something? I think it reads as being really uninvolved and unaware of his wife’s life or routine. Until he started suspecting her of evil baby-killing, of course. Ugh.

  26. The Simpsons Context:

    Homer makes his “Uter-US” remark to Marge after she rebuffs his suggestion that she rent out her womb to a wealthy childless couple. This is to make money after he spent it all in an unwise stock investment. That anyone could seriously cite this as a general argument is really, really weird.

  27. I don’t think that this guy wins Asshole of the Year: George Bush has that title wrapped up for the next decade or two. But he’s definitely a strong contender for first runner-up.

    Let’s see: First, he doesn’t seem particularly concerned that his wife is depressed. Major depression (if that’s what she has) has a fatality rate of 20% when untreated or inadequately treated and it doesn’t sound like she’s getting a good response to treatment. Yet he never once expresses concern about her health or how a pregnancy might affect her chances of living and recovering.

    Second, when she became pregnant accidently and expressed a desire to have an abortion, his only agenda was to force her to continue the pregnancy. No interest in why she felt this way (especially if she’d said she wanted kids previously), no concern about what it might do to her health, just “I want the kid and I’m the male so I must get my way.” That right there should tell you that this guy’s a waste of oxygen.

    Third, with all the interest he claims in having a baby, he doesn’t know anything about pregnancy. Ok, he’s a man, but does that mean that he’s too stupid to read a book about pregnancy? Will his dick fall off if he buys “What to expect when you’re expecting” or some other simple lay book about pregnancy? Or is he too squeamish to read such things? If he’s too scared to even hear about hyperemesis gravidum, preclampisa, gestational diabetes, etc, how can he try to force someone else to risk going through any of the above.

    Fourth, no one has the right to see anyone else’s medical records without their permission.

    Fifth, when he became suspicious that she might have induced abortion, his only interest is proving himself right. No concern about what it might mean to the relationship if his partner felt she had to lie to him that way. No concern about what it might have meant to her to go through an abortion alone, without the support she should have had every reason to expect.

    In short, if this guy had ANY love for his wife, he’d be trying to help her escape him. He’s a total loser and not ready for a relationship with a goldfish. If I were advising him I’d tell him to seek counseling geared towards treating his narcisism and tendency towards mental abuse. And to suggest a trial separation so that his wife could have a little room to breath without him trying to control her every move. If I were advising her I’d suggest she RUN AWAY and leave no clues behind.

  28. what kind of person doesn’t call their partner while they’re going to or at the hospital for a major medical complication?

    Well, first of all, a miscarriage is not necessarily a major medical complication. There’s a reason why, traditionally, OBs didn’t want to make a low risk woman’s first appointment until 10-12 weeks of pregnancy. Because so many pregnancies end in uncomplicated miscarriages prior to that point–and because these pregnancies generally can’t be and shouldn’t be saved. (I’m excluding the maternal factors such as clotting factor disorders that have been recently discovered from this statement, because generally they aren’t even looked for until after multiple miscarriages, and often the mother needs to start treatment for them immediately after conception or before to ensure a successful pregnancy.)

    When I thought I was ten weeks pregnant (now, known to be six weeks), I started bleeding. It was about a week after I’d had a positive home pregnancy test; about three weeks before my first already-scheduled OB appointment. When I called, the nurse at the OB’s office asked if there was any pain or cramping, and told me to keep my scheduled appointment. If it got significantly painful or heavy, I should call them again, or go to the hospital ER to be checked out. Otherwise, they’d confirm the pregnancy, or not, at my scheduled appointment.

    It wasn’t a miscarriage*, and the bleeding stopped after two days. Kid’s due in about 20-ish days. Nobody knows why I bled then, and the only real concern that they had at the first scheduled appointment about the bleed was getting my blood type determined, which became a non-concern once I let them know that the husband/father was Rh- (since the father is Rh-, there’s not going to be Rh problems: either I was – and thus the kid would have to be -, or I was + and there’s no problem with me carrying a – or + kid).

    *Or, given the stats that have been recently emerging about twins due to observation of early pregnancies: 1-in-8 pregnancies start as fraternal twins, while only 1-in-25 end as twins due to pre-12-week rejection of one, it could have been a miscarriage. We are never to know. Nor do I really care at this point.

    What I read in the wording of the letter wasn’t that he was even accusing his wife of having a surgical abortion, but that he was convinced that she’d had an abortion induced via some method like RU-### (whatever those numbers are; not searching google with that term from work). I’m sure he’s gone out on the Internet and found all these sites claiming to have “natural” methods of early-term abortion: various herbal teas, medicine combinations, etc. I think he’s got a very fantastic view of the avaliability of RU-### and other “chemical” methods, and of where she would have/could have accessed those methods.

    I just don’t understand what he thinks he’s going to find in her medical records. If she hadn’t even set up her first OB appointment and she was pre-10ish weeks, it’s quite possible she didn’t even GO to a doctor after a miscarriage. Then there would be nothing in her records. Many GPs and OBs won’t prescribe RU-###; if they’re nice and non-judgemental they’ll tell you about the clinic that dares. Is a medical record barren of any evidence of a miscarriage or surgical/chemical abortion going to satisfy him? I suspect not. Because she ‘could have’ gone to PP, or she ‘could have’ successfully used one of those ‘natural methods’ of abortion. Or, she ‘could have’ wished herself into an abortion, you know. *rolls eyes*

    He’s determined to make the connection between her not reacting the way he wanted and the ultimate outcome, when that connection may not exist. That’s the bigger problem.

  29. Its Uter-US, not uter-YOU.

    …did this really just happen?

    Sorry, but I have a stupid joke fixation. I also considered “There is no I in uterus” but I decided to go with the other one.

  30. Miscarriages, especially in early term, are estimated to occur 25-50% of the time. Many doctors think its closer to the 50% mark since women often don’t know they’re pregnant for the first month or two and an early miscarriage will present like nothing more than a ‘bad’ period.

    Understood.

    P.S.

    That anyone could seriously cite this as a general argument is really, really weird.

    I thought that quoting Homer Simpson would be an obvious sign I am NOT being serious.

    For Instance, if I danced around saying “I am so smart. I am so smart. S, M, R, T, I mean S, M, A, R, T” I would hope people would know I was NOT actually praising my own intelligence. But, this is the internet, nd maybe I’m underestimating the ability to Snark to get lost in the text.

  31. r4d20, I haven’t seen that particular episode of the Simpsons, so the joke was completely lost on me. Probably the same with other readers, too.

  32. I see, so were you “joking” when you referred to a woman with a husband trying to control her body as a liar and a manipulator?

  33. Inflection and intent do not transfer well in text… misunderstandings of sarcasm and snark are often lost (try including a smily winking next time or the text *jk* or even “ref:Homer Simpson” or something like that.)

    😉

  34. I think what gets me most about this guy is the fact that he was more interested in getting himself a baby, no matter the cost to his wife, than he was in making sure that said wife got the psychological and, if necessary, medical treatment that it sounds like she needs.

    I have no idea if her abortion was spontaneous or induced. But either way, it sounds like from the standpoint of her physical and emotional health, it’s for the best. If she miscarried, I would not be surprised if it was the body’s way of saying, “you’re not in a good place to take care of a child right now, so we’re shutting down this operation.” If she aborted, then she herself knew that she wasn’t in a good place to take care of a child, so she did what was in the best interest of both her and the fetus.

    And either way, this guy is a complete asshat and his wife needs to DTMFA.

  35. Will his dick fall off if he buys “What to expect when you’re expecting” or some other simple lay book about pregnancy?

    Consider:
    1. I read every pregnancy book going while the CLP was on the way.
    2. I have no dick.
    QED.

    (I apologise for the flippancy, but I cannot come up with a serious comment in the face of such assholishness.)

  36. Nick, I thought you never had one? I could be wrong.

    Maybe if you hadn’t read those books, you’d have grown one.

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