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I Have a Special Hatred For Certain Ringtones

zuzu

The Countess is surprised that cell phones are a problem in courthouses. A federal judge in Sacramento threw an elderly woman’s cell phone out in the hall when it rang one too many times.

Frankly, I’m surprised that more courts don’t require cell phones to be checked. Federal courts in New York City (the Eastern and Southern Districts of New York) require cell phones to be checked at the door. State courts let you take them in, but signs on the doors to courtrooms warn that your phone will be confiscated if it rings audibly when the judge is on the bench.

I’ve operated so long under this system that I was blown away when I did a trial in federal court in Houston in early 2001 and not only did we not have to check our phones, but our local counsel was able to use her Blackberry from the courtroom to ask her paralegal for more documents.

Of course, I’m one of those curmudgeons who doesn’t like the idea of cell phone service in subway tunnels, despite the use it could have been put to during the 7/7 attacks in London. I *like* not being reachable some of the time. And it’s not like cell service works for most providers during a major outage, like 9/11 or the blackout (though, based on what others have told me, Verizon Wireless actually had service during both events, so I decided to switch to them — of course, Sprint’s entirely sucky coverage of Brooklyn also played a big part).

Oh, and the title of the post. Yes, I have a special hatred for that dah-dah-dah-DAH-dah-dah-dah-DAH-dah-DAH-dah-DAH-dah-dah-dah ring tone, because I shared an office with that for some time. It’s a bad idea to put a litigator in the same office as a transactional attorney.

Also, after 9/11, my office had to find new space because we were two blocks from the WTC. Different divisions got thrown together in an open office, and because phone service in the area was so sketchy due to the damage, we were encouraged to use our personal cell phones.

But I noticed something with 100 people all working in the same room. Generally, the more annoying the ring tone, the longer it takes people to pick it up.

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18 thoughts on I Have a Special Hatred For Certain Ringtones

  3. Post a sign saying

    “The longer it takes to pick up your cell phone, the more likely it will be flung out the nearest window by someone who doesn’t share your taste in ringtones.”

    Personally, I hate that the musical ones go through one little bit of the song and then repeat themselves. I mean, come on, it’s a high-tech device that can take pictures and download stuff and so forth; it won’t kill it to double the length of the song cliplet to the point where most people pick it up at one runthrough instead of two.

    A good example of this is my youngest sister, whose ringtone from my other sister is a song I greatly enjoy, but it’s annoying as all hell to hear it stop and repeat after a single line.

    Once I get one, I think I’m going to use a nice, unintrusive chirp like they use for the commbadges on Star Trek. Among other considerations, that would be too short of a sound for people to recognize exactly where it came from.

  4. I had to go to the courthouse here in Virginia. The guards asked me if I had a cell phone, then analyzed it to see if it had a camera (it did). They told me I would have to stow it in a locker and then they let me through. So I asked them if I should also stow the digital camera that I was carrying that they hadn’t asked about.

    I think if the phone had not had a camera feature I would have been allowed to take it, but all over the courthouse there were no-using-cell-phones-in-courtroom signs.

    Not sure what the deal was with the ban on cameras. Privacy I suppose?

  5. I don’t have a ringtone. I have a little beep with a voice saying “you have a new call”. At least I know what kind of call I’m getting.

    I’m interested in only one ringtone, but my cell phone is so old that I can’t get ringtones on it. It’s one I heard in a Japanese horror movie. You get that ringtone when you get a message from beyond the grave. When you answer the call, you get to hear your own death. Now that’s a ringtone I could get into. 😉

  6. For once, Philly gets it right–you have to check your cellphone before you can even go through the metal detector.

    As for cellphones and ringtones, I got tired of mine and got rid of it. If people can’t call me at home and leave a message on my machine, that’s their problem. If it’s a real emergency, they know to call me at work.

  7. Zuzu:

    Oh, and the title of the post. Yes, I have a special hatred for that dah-dah-dah-DAH-dah-dah-dah-DAH-dah-DAH-dah-DAH-dah-dah-dah ring tone, because I shared an office with that for some time. It’s a bad idea to put a litigator in the same office as a transactional attorney.

    Is this in reference to the Nokia ring or something else?

  9. For me it’s less the ringtones than those bloody two-ways. Ok, I do hate their little “beep-beep-beep,” but the fact that I have to listen to that sound over and over and over again, while also listening to both sides of the conversation while the person near me shouts into it is even more annoying than any particular ring tone.

    My phone stays on vibrate.

  10. I have Inbetween Days by The Cure as my ringtone, and I deliberately took a long enough clip from it that I would never let it go past one cycle. And I have I vibrate first, so I rarely get through the first four notes.

  11. I use a Nextel phone, one of the more primitive, rugged models as i am always need to have it with me if I’m working on the jobsite. Most cellphones are delicate and can’t stand a drop or exposure to rain or dust.

    I shut if off if in such a place as a courtroom, meetings or events that require undivided attention, or even leave in the vehicle.

    I remember a few years ago I was selling cars with a partner, we both had Nextel phones, bought on special. We used the walkie-talkie function all the time to communicate. I was at motor vehicle, standing in one of those cruncher, one hour lines when suddenly, from the pocket of my jacket comes,

    “BEEP! Hey, I can’t believe this stupid b@#ch at the godddamned bank, they F@#%ked my F#$#&king …”

    The phone keeps cursing and yelling at high volume as my pocket seemed to have suddenly turned into a cavern with blind alleys, twists, turns and hidden rooms I’d never before experienced.

    I learned my lesson.

  14. My old cell phone, which I very sadly lost, had the a ringtone (my preferred one) that wasn’t a tone so much as a series of clicks. It freaked people out to hear it but I don’t think it was all that annoying, since it wasn’t very loud.

    Yeah during the blackout I was the only one of the people I was with whose cellphone was getting service, and I was using Verizon. That said, I’m still using Verizon, only nowadays, god only knows why, there are certain rooms in my own house it doesn’t work in. Sometimes I have to call people from the front yard.

  15. My ring tone is a phrase from the Queen of the Night’s aria in The Magic Flute. For a long time I had a generic ring, but when I found that one I just couldn’t resist.

    Generally I find that ring tones don’t bother me nearly as much as the conversations do. I finally figured out why hearing someone talk on a cell phone is so much more distracting than overhearing a couple of strangers having a conversation: chatter-silence-chatter is harder to tune out than chatter-chatter-chatter.

  16. I am queen of annoying ringtones:

    Toxic (Britney Spears) – for personal calls
    Golddigger – for business calls

    And they’re LOUD.

  17. My partner and I use soundclips from various vintage movies as our phone rings, which is a little more discreet than beeps or music – and does tend to get people laughing when they overhear them.

    Personally, I’m all for customisation. It’s the default rings (“Hello Moto!” and the latest “hot” ringtone downloads that irritate me (crazy frog, anyone?)

  18. **My partner and I use soundclips from various vintage movies as our phone rings**

    I had the “She’s OD’n” dialogue exchange from “Pulp Fiction” for my answering machine message:

    JODY (OS)

    Lance! The phone’s ringing!

    LANCE

    (calling back)

    I can hear it!

    JODY (OS)

    I thought you told those fuckin’

    assholes never to call this late!

    LANCE

    (by the phone)

    I told ’em and that’s what I’m

    gonna tell this fuckin’ asshole

    right now!

    (he answers the phone)

    Hello, do you know how late it is?

    You’re not supposed to be callin’

    me this fuckin’ late.

    BACK TO VINCENT IN THE MALIBU

    Vincent is still driving like a stripe-assed ape, clutching

    the phone to his ear. WE CUT BACK AND FORTH during the

    conversation.

    VINCENT

    Lance, this is Vincent, I’m in big

    fuckin’ trouble man, I’m on my way

    to your place.

    LANCE

    Whoa, hold you horses man, what’s

    the problem?

    VINCENT

    You still got an adrenalin shot?

    LANCE

    (dawning on him)

    Maybe.

    VINCENT

    I need it man, I got a chick she’s

    fuckin’ O.D.ing on me.

    LANCE

    Don’t bring her here! I’m not even

    fuckin’ joking with you, don’t you

    be bringing some fucked up pooh-

    butt to my house!

    VINCENT

    No choice.

    LANCE

    She’s O.D.in’?

    VINCENT

    Yeah. She’s dyin’.

    LANCE

    Then bite the fuckin’ bullet, take

    ‘er to a hospital and call a

    lawyer!

    VINCENT

    Negative.

    LANCE

    She ain’t my fuckin’ problem, you

    fucked her up, you deal with it —

    are you talkin’ to me on a cellular

    phone?

    VINCENT

    Sorry.

    LANCE

    I don’t know you, who is this,

    don’t come here, I’m hangin’ up. Prank caller! Prank caller!

    VINCENT

    Too late, I’m already here.

    (car crashes into Lance’s house)

    My mom hated it. “Why can’t you be normal at least some of the time?”

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