(So during the long blog slowdown that attended the Cold that Wouldn’t Leave, finals week, and my trip to New York, I received several links from alert readers and saw some nifty stuff online that I wanted to comment on. I’m gonna start with what I think is the earliest first.)
First of all, brownfemipower could use some kind words. It’s disgraceful that she should be made to feel like a failure for taking care of herself and her family, or like a leech for taking advantage of a social support system that’s supposed to be available when needed. The hell with that. My community college costs me thirty bucks a credit; five years ago, it was half of that. Would it not be really stupid to think of myself as not taking hard-earned money from taxpayers? Do my watercolor classes serve a higher purpose? I don’t recall anyone ever telling me that I should be ashamed of painting on the public dole, or questioning my right to instruction. Feh.
Second, way way back, she posted about learning about the trans community SAII, in response to my post about masculinity among ftms and ft? people:
So I have spent the time since I met Piny (and Vegan and Jay) reading their sites, reading trans sites, and just googling various terms/issues/concepts that I keep coming across. And although I still am fairly aware I am speaking out of my unknowlegeable trans baby butt–and issue has come up in the last few days that I felt was important for me to address.
(Just in terms of being a good ally, I think this is the only responsible way: just keep reading and listening, and do all the investigation you can on your own.)
A discussion erupted in comments, as discussions will, and she followed up with this post, in which she asked all of us a question:
So, i would like to begin a dialogue with the trans community and trans allies–specifically i would like to know what are some specific questions that you use to better “read” a situation that is questionable? and even more pointedly, what are tactics your community uses in dialoguing with other communities that helps to make a space “safe” for you?
(She was also nice enough to hand over her blog temporarily; I’m sorry I didn’t take the ooportunity.)
Hm.
I live in what is one of the most open, trans-friendly, trans-populous areas on the planet. I was privileged to go through my tranny adolescence here. I have benefited enormously from the security it provides me, both in terms of physical safety and freedom from discrimination, and in terms of flexibility in presentation and stealthitude (no, that’s not a real word). I also have passing privilege, which means that I am further shielded from prejudice. In “questionable” situations–offline, at least–I have the option of not being openly transsexual. Whether or not I exercise it, it’s available.
So I can’t speak as well as many other community members about the worst kinds of “questionable” situations. In terms of whether or not a community is welcoming to me, well, I make that determination based on how reflexively people agree with me. Where there’s dissent, there’s transphobia. Where there’s hesitation, there’s heterosexism.
I tend to pay attention to a few things. It seems like they have utility for other activists and outsiders looking for ground that might be fertile in other ways.
First of all, are transpeople–any transpeople–being quoted directly? If so, are they being quoted in context? If they wrote three hundred pages, did more than two lines make the cut? Are their views being engaged as their views, or are they being attributed to transpeople in general? Does it seem like the writer in question obtained them from the equivalent of this, or do I get the sense that they actually read Sex Changes or Conundrum or Just Add Hormones? Do they seem to know very much about the transperson or -people they are quoting? Have they sought out and lurked in communities set up by and for transpeople, or attempted to collect more exposures than a few memoirists? Do they seem to know any transpeople in real life, and if so, does it seem likely that those transpeople like rather than endure them? And–yes, I know, it’s not fair–do they seem to think that the opinions of their tranny BFFs should render the opinions of other transpeople null and void?
As far as the community/activism thing goes…other commenters had some wonderful suggestions. More from bfp:
that’s what i’m trying to get to here–how to ask questions that put the issue of “transgendered” in the hands of non-trans people to confront, rather than continuously forcing trans people to defend themselves. force non-trans people to confront their own needs/lack of knowledge. but i don’t know any of the skills/questions etc. that might make up this sort of conversation, you know?
Like I said, Jay had some good suggestions:
When I have done workshops, I ask people what investment they have in seeing trans folks as the one with gender issues. I ask them if they’ve ever had a chromosome test. Then I ask them to each write down their definition of male and female.
Rarely is there uniform agreement.
Reversals can be very useful, assuming the person is at all willing to accept any parallel between your situation and theirs. I could compare the level of comfort I feel post-transition with the level of comfort they felt without transitioning. I could compare sexism and gender role pressure in trans lives with their presence in cissexual and cisgendered lives. I could compare the diversity they’d love to see amongst men and women with the diversity that does exist in the trans community SAII. I could compare transphobia with hatred of gendervariance, and point out ways in which transphobia is tacitly supported. I could compare stereotyping of transpeople–the need to shove them all into a convenient position in a social equation–as arising from the same mindset that needs to reduce men and women to two tiny boxes.
Honestly, I’m not sure there are any strategies that can short-circuit bigotry, or any questions that are reliably incisive. Some of the most trivial things I’ve said and encountered have served as excellent source material, and some of my hardest work has been pretty much ignored. “See what sticks” might be the best tactic I know.
Anyway. Bfp hosted a great discussion. I just wish I could have been part of it sooner.