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Weekly Open Thread with Dudhsagar Falls

tigtog

An extremely picturesque set of waterfalls in India features for this week’s Open thread. Please natter/chatter/vent/rant on anything* you like over this weekend and throughout the week.

A spectacular four-tiered waterfall with a train crossing over a brick arched bridge in the middle of it.
Dudhsagar Falls (literally Sea of Milk ) is a tiered waterfall located on the Mandovi River in the Indian state of Goa on Goa’s border with Karnataka state. It is a four-tiered waterfall with a total height of 310 metres (1017 feet) and an average width of 30 metres (100 feet). | Source: filmapia.com

So, what have you been up to? What would you rather be up to? What’s been awesome/awful?
Reading? Watching? Making? Meeting?
What has [insert awesome inspiration/fave fansquee/guilty pleasure/dastardly ne’er-do-well/threat to all civilised life on the planet du jour] been up to?

* Netiquette footnotes:
* There is no off-topic on the Weekly Open Thread, but consider whether your comment would be on-topic on any recent thread and thus better belongs there.
* If your comment touches on topics known to generally result in thread-jacking, you will be expected to take the discussion to #spillover instead of overshadowing the social/circuit-breaking aspects of this thread.

37 thoughts on Weekly Open Thread with Dudhsagar Falls

  1. Is it me or has activity around here been far lighter than usual?
    Seems that the past couple months have been unusually sparse for articles and discussion.

    If this has been bandied about already, my apologies.

    2. You’re not wrong. It’s something we’ve been discussing among the editorial staff — I write here on top of my full-time job, Jill has recently picked up her new full-time writing position, tigtog’s role has traditionally been more technological than editorial, and we continue to be unsuccessful at finding more staff bloggers willing to come on board. We’re working to find ways of getting the posting frequency back up where it has been, but it’s a challenge.

    3. Staff writing is by invite only, right? Back when I noticed Jill was posting less and less, I thought of asking if I could write more contemporaneous stuff (in contrast to guest posts, which can’t be about recent events because they usually take a few weeks to approve), but decided not to ask because that’s basically what staff writers are for…

      Me, I’m on the hook for the vlog till summer at the minimum (I have another episode in the posting queue, pending tigtog’s approval), but I’d totally help with writing normal posts if a call to duty is issued. No pun intended.

      1. Lol no she’s far too sweet. She looked sleepily concerned. She gets tripped over frequently because she’s brindle and you can’t see her at night.

  3. I seem to be operating on a lot more optimistic momentum these days. Instead of being terrified of the future, I am actively resisting the most pernicious negative thought patterns in my mind. And so far, my efforts have made a difference in my life. For instance, usually I feel ashamed of having anxiety attacks, believing that I’m a burdensome waste for potentially stressing people out with my mental issues. But in the past 4 days, despite my phobias of severe weather being triggered left and right, I am telling myself that being anxious and frightened is nothing to be ashamed of. And that regardless of how much I panic or my mental health deteriorates, I’m not a worthless nobody. I deserve to experience pain without the approval of memories of past emotional abuse.

    I guess it’s best described as this: I’m finally starting to learn to love and accept myself. I don’t like using the word love because I’m afraid of the potential of going down an adverse path and becoming narcissistic – not just self-appreciative – in the process. But I recognize that the term love, carrying strong meanings, helps me view my process of self-acceptance as accentuated by something strong and meaningful. I have a lot to work on, and I still find my own image repulsive and unworthy of love, but I’m getting there one step at a time.

    1. I’m so glad to hear that you’re building up an optimism reserve. It’s normal to not feel optimistic and self-appreciating *all* the time (that’s just dealing with the ordinary ups and downs of life), but it’s a really good idea to build up a bank of self-positivity you can draw on when you especially need it. Good for you.

      1. [CN: abuse]

        I especially need it now, since I’ll be coming out to the rest of the family very soon. Most of the time I think about the possible scheme of events arising from my coming out, I imagine nothing but the absolute worst. Being screamed and yelled at. Being called “disgusting” and/or “worthless”. Facing incessant attempts on their behalf to “cure” me lest I become the symbol of their family shame. Maybe even being physically/sexually/emotionally abused further. And consequently suffering from the rejection and abuse so much that I can’t cope and move on at all. So my increase in positivity is primarily an attempt to minimize the worst potential psychological consequences of coming out.

        1. Good luck! I thought your coming-out email read well. I personally would leave out the paragraph about women being viewed as lesser beings as that is not specifically about your immediate situation, but you know your audience better than I do.

        2. Frankly, I forgot why I even put that part in there. I wrote that draft during a nasty wave of depression. So I basically was just writing out everything in my mind. The next (final) draft won’t have those things and will be more coherent as well.

  4. Well if this isn’t male entitlement at its most horrifying

    Trigger warning, extreme violence, misogyny. It’s disgusting, especially when I know people are going to go on about gun control (which I am all for), scapegoat the mentally ill, but probably ignore the shitload of entitlement, the absolute fucktons of male entitlement to women’s bodies that it takes to feel justified in killing innocent people because you can’t get laid.

    Holy shit. My thoughts go out to all of the friends and families of the victims.

  5. This story: http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2014/05/24/shooter-kills-at-least-six-people-in-rampage-near-uc-santa-barbara/?tid=pm_national_pop

    And the transcript of the shooter’s youtube rant: http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/transcript-of-video-manifesto-by-suspected-uc-santa-barbara-shooter/2014/05/24/04da4618-e381-11e3-9743-bb9b59cde7b9_story.html

    Make me want to vomit. Another mass murder that’s the product of misogyny, carried out by a self-proclaimed “nice guy.”

    [Note to moderator: I previously posted an excerpt from the transcript of the youtube video and am glad it went into moderation: please leave it there; it’s too disgusting.]

    1. I just caught a report of that, Donna. There’s been a number of shootings now targeting visitors to Jewish museums, haven’t there? Some days the world seems an especially nasty place, and this is shaping up as one of those days.

      3. And then of course there was the white supremacist who shot people at the Holocaust Museum a couple of years ago.

  7. I feel so horribly guilty right now. All the work I’m supposed to be getting done this weekend. I’ve done none of it. I feel completely unable to concentrate. At this point, maybe I’m asking to get fired? It would almost be a relief.

    1. I actually thought for a minute earlier today that maybe I was having a heart attack, but it turned out just to be an anxiety attack. I would take something, but it would probably put me to sleep, and that would make me feel even more guilty.

      1. I think you should prioritize your well-being, Donna. I understand what you mean when you say that you feel guilty about taking something to help deal with the anxiety, but you’re going through a lot right now. Regardless, I think there’s no shame in a lack of concentration due to not feeling well. Please take care of yourself.

        1. Thank you. It isn’t really that I feel guilty about taking something; I’m usually a big fan of medication. It’s that I know that whatever I take will make me sleepy, and then I’ll feel even more guilty about not getting my work done. I just haven’t been able to — I can’t stop thinking and being sad about my father. It’s only been five days, after all. I keep thinking that it’s all some big mistake. I’ve spent most of the day the last two days looking through old photos and things like that. I haven’t even been able to eat much of anything, let alone concentrate on work.

        2. I imagined that your father’s death was at the root of your lack of concentration, but I didn’t want to be presumptuous. You’re going through a lot and I would be surprised if you could maintain any concentration after such a loss. Not that you couldn’t possibly do so, but rather that it would be very difficult. I myself completely lose my ability to concentrate when I have an anxiety attack (although I don’t mean to equate my sources of mental distress with yours).

          It may have “only” been five days, but less tragic things have happened in my life that I have not been able to get over for a very long time. If your lack of concentration becomes inimical to your productivity to the degree that your job suffers, it won’t be your fault at all. Very few people are in perfect mental shape after such a loss. I’m sure that, if I had to deal with the loss of a loved one, I’d be spending most of my days crying in bed because I can’t deal with things that upsetting.

          If anything, you deserve a basket of kittens and a week off, not stressful work on top of coping with an emotionally distressing ordeal in your life.

        3. Thanks again. So I just went ahead and took a klonipin. If I fall asleep, so be it. I just can’t take the anxiety anymore. It’s not like I was getting any work done anyway today.

          And I also need to stop reading about the mass murder in California for a while. It’s too horrible.

    2. Donna, you’re grieving, there’s nothing to feel guilty about. Surely (gods, this is the US, so who knows) you have time off for family death? Some understanding that your father’s just died?

      All the hugs, with added-value kitty furs.

  8. In lighter news, I am taking my kids to an anime convention tomorrow for the eldest’s birthday present. Wish I still had my sailor Jupiter costume from high school.

  9. My daughters friend has recently transitioned. He has questions about changing his IDs and such, his wife joined the military. Anyone know how this works? He doesn’t have much by way of adult familial support and I’ve let him know that he has mine, and that I know people who have transitioned so I can tap some experienced resouces for him.

      1. Thank you Donna. His mother should be helping him, but since she won’t, I will. He’s only 21.

  10. This is me attempting to take an online course. As you can see, it’s not going well.

    The leg continues to improve slowly. Physical therapy is coming along.

    I am taking anxiety medication now. It’s lovely.

    yeah….work.

  12. So, I’m reading the news today and come across this story, where a male student is suing Duke demanding that he be awarded his degree after he was expelled for a sexual assault.

    According to the motion filed by Schwartz & Shaw of Raleigh, McLeod took a female Duke student back to his home on Nov. 14. McLeod alleges their sex was consensual and that the woman “got emotional” and began to cry.

    McLeod told his lawyers that the woman later took her claim of sexual assault to law enforcement, and that both Duke University police and Durham police investigated and decided not to charge him with a crime.

    The university Office of Student Conduct then conducted its own investigation, found McLeod guilty of sexual assault and expelled him.

    I’ll have to watch what happens with this case. I confess to being somewhat divided on the issue of college administrators being put in charge of sexual assault issues. On the one hand, I’m well aware of how predators can manage to float just under the level where law enforcement can actually get a conviction, and continue to prey on woman after woman for years. Universities clearly have a responsibility to protect their female students from guys like that. On the flip side, issues of consent get very, very murky, especially when intoxication gets involved, and these types of things can and do ruin lives, both male and female. A high degree of oversight and transparency seems to be required – something I’m not sure universities are always in a position to give.

    I’ll be curious as to how this suit pans out.

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