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Global Sex Survey

Jill

The Good News: Sexual satisfaction correlates with gender equality. Take that, anti-feminists.

The Bad News*: Men are generally more sexually satisfied than women. This is not surprising.

“Pleasure is not part of the story” in sexually conservative cultures in the Far East — China, Indonesia, Japan, Taiwan, and Thailand, Laumann said. “Procreation is the rationale for sex. Many women … characterize sex as dirty, as a duty, something they endure” — and often stop having it after age 50.

And therein lies the problem with making sex all about the babies, and describing marital sex as a “duty.” I’ll take hedonism over that any day.

*I should be clear here: I don’t think it’s bad that men are sexually satisfied. I’m quite happy for them. I just wish we were all more sexually satisfied, and that sexual satisfaction was equal across the sexes.

Posted in Sex

26 thoughts on Global Sex Survey

  1. I would think that some of the gender gap in satisfaction levels is due simply to the physiology of the sex act. There’s not much a woman can do during sex that will make it physically unpleasant for a man, or prevent him from having an orgasm. The reverse is not the case.

  2. in sexually conservative cultures in the Far East

    ugh…They might as well have just used “Oriental” and slapped on some of The Joy Luck Club…

    I think its a little unfair of them to make that blanket of a statement especially considering the stereotypes already of the sexless, prude, woman-hatingness that any Asian country faces…

    Sex as a “duty” to those countries would be fair…..if they didn’t write almost every ancient sex/kama sutra book in history…if they didn’t have billions of kids (which means, uh, they’re having a loooot of sex) and if the women there didn’t have any sort of agency or ownership of their sexuality…

  3. There’s not much a woman can do during sex that will make it physically unpleasant for a man, or prevent him from having an orgasm. The reverse is not the case.

    Well… I seem to recall teen guys of my adolescence being focused mainly on “making the score.” It seemed like having sex and getting to the “big O” was more important than anything else involved in being with a girl. That kind of socialization starts early–it’s embedded in the humor and taunts shared between young males. So too is it embedded in the ideas of how one needs to behave to be truly masculine.

    I remember being taunted in the ninth grade for being the supposed “lone virgin.” The implication was clear: I was somehow less than male for being “inexperienced.” I’d bet a large some of money that most of the boys sitting around me were virgins too. Nobody was brave enough to make note of that reality, of course.

    Nobody seemed to equate being manly with the ability to give pleasure to another person, either. On the contrary, it was far more about taking pleasure for oneself.

    How universal is this? I’m not sure, but that’s what happened in my hometown of Dundalk, Maryland–just your average white blue-collar town in the 80’s.

  4. I totally see where the equality plays into it. In my first marriage, my sex life hit the skids and my husband balked. I told him that the sexiest thing I could ever imagine was walking into the house after a long day of work and catch him vacuuming. He laughed. He thought I was being cute. Dumbass.

    The neanderthal never got the point. That leaving me to do all housework (on top of working full-time, going to school and having babies) did nothing for my sex drive, especially in regards to HIM. Nothing like being exhausted and feeling underappreciated to zap the sex drive. And sex, when if happened, became a duty.

    There was a somewhat recent article (I’m thinking in New Yorker? can’t remember) that said there was a disturbing trend among marriages of dual-career couples where the housework is not shared equally, the sex is almost always dismal. I remember going “Ah ha!!”. I think the conclusion was that the best marriages in terms of sex were marriages that were “traditional” with clearly defined roles or where the dual career couple shared household responsibilities equally. It was inequity that sabotaged things when the household stuff was a burden to one or the other.

  5. The Bad News*: Men are generally more sexually satisfied than women. This is not surprising.

    It’s not true, too. What, you think that if some stranger asks a guy, “How’s your sex life,” he’s likely to reply, “No good at all; I’m a failure as a man”?

  6. There’s an interview with the guy on NPR that details how he figured that people were telling the truth. Also, this research was done on people over the age of 40.

  7. Jill, anyone who’d think that you were against men enjoy sex is a two-bit moron with an agenda, the worst kind of two-bit moron.

    I would think that some of the gender gap in satisfaction levels is due simply to the physiology of the sex act.

    Rex, if you’re orgasming with your tongue while the little lady stares between her thighs at your head and can’t figure out what the fuss is all about, your physiology just ain’t normal.

  8. The neanderthal never got the point. That leaving me to do all housework (on top of working full-time, going to school and having babies) did nothing for my sex drive, especially in regards to HIM. Nothing like being exhausted and feeling underappreciated to zap the sex drive. And sex, when if happened, became a duty.

    SEE? Mom was right! It’s all just close-your-eyes-and-think-of-England!

  9. I would think that some of the gender gap in satisfaction levels is due simply to the physiology of the sex act.

    Rex, if you’re orgasming with your tongue while the little lady stares between her thighs at your head and can’t figure out what the fuss is all about, your physiology just ain’t normal

    That was my first thought. Of course men will be more generally sexually satisfied, because what our society considers “normal, vanilla sex” is practically defined as male pleasure.

  10. Sex as a “duty” to those countries would be fair…..if they didn’t write almost every ancient sex/kama sutra book in history…

    Well,

    1) The Kama Sutra was written in India, which you will notice is not included.

    2) The opperative word being “ancient”. The fact that they may have been sexually permissive in the past is irrelevant to a discussion of their current state.

    …if they didn’t have billions of kids (which means, uh, they’re having a loooot of sex)…

    Quantity does not create quality. Multiplying a unfulfilling sex act a thousand times doesn’t make it any more enjoyable.

  11. Let me first say..that I agree, sex in any country with any history of patriarchy is going to have “male pleasure above all” mentalities that are certainly things to break down…but

    The opperative word being “ancient”. The fact that they may have been sexually permissive in the past is irrelevant to a discussion of their current state.

    attitudes and principles don’t have an influence? those things don’t have some sort of effect on modern society?

    Quantity does not create quality. Multiplying a unfulfilling sex act a thousand times doesn’t make it any more enjoyable.

    #1. well, you assume that for all women of all those countries, its going to be an unfulfilling act. you’re suggesting that since they do it even more because they have more kids, they’re even more oppressed by their male counterparts.

    #2. it’s not that big of a stretch for me to believe that there might be many people, women in asia that actually have a lot of enjoyable sex and hence have a lot of kids.

  12. attitudes and principles don’t have an influence? those things don’t have some sort of effect on modern society?

    I never said that the past has no influence on the present. What I was saying is that “they used to be X in the past” is not a refutation of “they’re Y now”.

    it’s not that big of a stretch for me to believe that there might be many people, women in asia that actually have a lot of enjoyable sex and hence have a lot of kids.

    Yes, but the number of of children one has is not a reliable indicator of the quality of sex one enjoys (or doesn’t, as the case may be). They are at best loosely correlated.

  13. I think its a little unfair of them to make that blanket of a statement especially considering the stereotypes already of the sexless, prude, woman-hatingness that any Asian country faces…

    There is no blanket statement, there is a statistical difference. Not the same thing. If the facts happen to agree with stereotypes, it doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with reporting them.Unless you buy the cultural relativism thing (hey, folks, I’m going to come out of closet and say I don’t like cultural relativism).

    Let me first say..that I agree, sex in any country with any history of patriarchy is going to have “male pleasure above all” mentalities that are certainly things to break down…but

    I don’t really buy it. This implies that very patriarchal countries are about male pleasure (and thus good for men. I don’t personally think that Western Liberal Democracies are that patriarchal, btw.) This isn’t a zero-sum game. I’m a Finn, I like the fact that my country is very egalitarian and women are not considered property. Very much, in fact, what use are women who are basically pretty furniture who bear children (eh, besides those). No rational man would claim that egalitarism is taking away from men, and no rational man needs to make a big deal about his support of it (how “noble” and “unselfish” he is).

    Operational patriarchies (=clearly male-dominated societies) are hell-holes for the vast majority of men (and even bigger majority of women, nearly all, in fact). There’s a good reason not to support it out of the principle of enlightened self-interest. Claiming that patriarchy is about “male pleasure” is incorrect. It is about the power and pleasure of patriarchs.

  14. Besides Luke, having plenty of children meaning “looots” of sex is simply incorrect: Man impregnating a woman steadily every couple of years does not equal lots of sex.

    Not only is the number of children a lousy indicator of quality of sex (as Sophist pointed out) it is a lousy indicator of quantity, too.

    Add to that the fact that in women in Japan and China are not exactly having plenty of babies. You’re trying to conflate everything “Oriental” (Japan=India, WTF?) into a nice little package and then displauing your own “tolerance” by attempting to refute the facts and display your superior enlightenment. IMHO you’ve only managed to show your own biases (that you publicly denounce) and lack of knowledge on Asia.

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  17. To agree with Tuomas: People in China and Japan aren’t having more kids than people in the US are… Since the institution of the 1 baby policy in China the birth rate has dropped remarkably, and Japan has had a below replacement birth rate since the mid 90s… So the people in the far east (at least as far as those 2 are concerned) are NOT having more babies…

    And the countries in which they do have more babies (think Cambodia or Vietnam) it’s more because of a lack of access to contreceptives than it is because they are having more sex… in fact, the US has the most sex yearly out of any country in the world, besides Russia. So sex doesn’t = babies most of the time.

  18. Ahlana @ 7:09: Just out of curiosity, where’d you get the statistic about Russia and the U.S. having the most sex? Not doubting it, just wondering about the source.

    (And with the way I phrased that, now I’m picturing the whole geographic nation of Russia bopping on across the Pacific and having a quickie with the middle of the North American continent.)

  19. (And with the way I phrased that, now I’m picturing the whole geographic nation of Russia bopping on across the Pacific and having a quickie with the middle of the North American continent.)

    That is pretty silly. I mean, anyone who knows anything about plate-techtonics knows that Russia is getting freaky with Alaska, not the lower forty-eight.

  20. Uhm, I do agree with Luke. I’m a Japanese woman- and women’s enjoyment i.e, orgasm isn’t exactly frowned upon in Japan- you’ll be vibrator ads openly and prominently in many women’s magazines. In fact, Japan makes some of the best sex toys for women.

    I think the older generation did think sex = procreation, but I know that women and men my age in Japan don’t buy that any more than their western counterparts.

    For all those people that are commenting on asia- how many lived there or visited extensively? Seriously, the media view in the US regarding asia is often negative and skewed.

  21. Catty:

    From the Reuters article:

    In Japan, by contrast, just 18 percent of the men and 10 percent of the women answered positively about their sex lives.

    There was a study, the media is reporting the study. I’m not convinced that the study is wrong just because of your personal anecdotes (perhaps you are part of the 10%. After all, no one claimed that all Japanese people are anti-sex) and Luke’s assertations (which have been shown to be full of flaws).

    But perhaps the culture is changing in Japan rapidly. Perhaps it is not sexually conservative anymore. I don’t know. But simple accusation of bias against Asia is not enough to make the study invalid, and the study measured sexual satisfaction, nothing more.

    For all those people that are commenting on asia- how many lived there or visited extensively?

    No. Have you visited (or lived in) Europe, North America, and Australia extensively?

  23. Catty:
    Come to think of it, like Lauren said:

    Also, this research was done on people over the age of 40.

    Is relevant, and may explain the dicrepancy between your experience and the study.

  24. In fact, Japan makes some of the best sex toys for women.

    I’m certainly a fan of my Japanese-made vibrator. Though I draw the line at Hello Kitty.

    I did read somewhere that the reason you have so many animal-shaped vibes made in Japan is that there’s a law forbidding sex toys from resembling penises. Is this true?

  25. I actually live in the US, but visit Japan often as possible as I speak the language and have family there. I maintain friends who live in Japan, both expats and natives.

    I don’t know about resembling penis law, but in Japan, you can’t show genitalia at all (hence blurring censorship of legit porn in Japan- no hardcore industry in that country at all).

    Japan is probably a lot less conservative sexually than a lot of the united states. The Japanese educational system isn’t grappling with sex ed (taught in schools routinely). Access to abortion isn’t an issue at all.

    Well, the study was done on people over 40… and Japan is going through some traumatic times in terms of economic upheaval and older workers being forced into early retirement, etc. Because of the economic slump, children are staying home longer, and young adults are foregoing marriage (and living with their parents) for both economic and other reasons.

  26. I think those things above (premature submission) would have some effect on people being able to enjoy their sex lives…

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