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A Couple of Items From The General

zuzu

Ninja stopped by ATF agents on University of Georgia Campus. Because terrorists often skulk around in ninja outfits in broad daylight on college campuses.

And the General writes a letter to our good friend Ruth Malhotra:

Things are different today. America has become so wicked and worldly that Christians are no longer treated as superiors. Indeed, the government forbids any recognition that we are better than brown people, women, homosexuals, or even the French.

Thankfully, people like you are taking steps to change that. Your lawsuit demanding that the State allow us to persecute homosexuals is a great first step in the journey to reclaim our rightful place as rulers in this society.

I am praying for your success. With God’s help and a good lawyer, we’ll return to the days where the heavy thumps of Jesus’ Mighty Jackboots of Biblical Conformity will resound across this great nation. And then cowboys can be just cowboys again.

And the General offers some words of encouragement to Ruth:

P.S. I think you’ve finally found your ticket to conservative stardom. The academic persecution angle wasn’t quite cutting it.

16 thoughts on A Couple of Items From The General

  1. Please – “Christian” and “White” are NOT synonyms, let alone “Christian” and “White Supremacist”!

    And next time you want to point to a reference to Christians as ‘jackboot wearing thugs’, please remember that the abolitionists were Christian, many anti-war leaders are Christian, and Martin Luther King, Jr., was a minister.

  2. *boggles*

    Deep Thought –

    have you lost all of your reading comprehension? Or your ability to click on a link?

    It’s satire, for gods’ sakes. And it’s not zuzu’s opinion, but a quote.

    That said – I wish we had ninjas on my campus. It’d liven things up a little.

  3. Mr. Thought (I’m assuming that you’re a man, because Our Leader likes it that way ),

    True Christians not only think like Pat Robertson, we look like him too. You’d know that if you attended the self-criticism events we sponsor to further the goals of the Glorious Conservative Christian Cultural Revolution. And what do you have against Jesus’ Mighty Jackboots of Biblical Conformity?

  4. Nomie,
    Yes, I am familiar with Jesus’ General. Yes, I know its satire. It just gets tiresome. I saw a satire that treated ‘gay’ as a synonym of ‘pedophile’ and found that just as tiresome. My issue with the General is that he dips too far into “Christians are really fascists” for me to find him amusing; sorta’ like “that was just a joke, you CAN’T be offended!”.

    Uh, yes – I can.

    Or should I throw some stereotyped calumny about an ethnic minority up online and say “hey! Its satire! Lighten up!”?

  5. Well, since you’re a Catholic, you’re not a Christian anyway, so what skin is it off your nose?

    😉

  7. I’m not saying that you can’t be offended, but that your kneejerk freakout seemed out of place and out of proportion.

    But what do I know? I’m a goddamn pagan feminist hippie liberal on birth control.

  9. Nomie,
    Well, I brought in Real Life. I had just had to clear out the most recent round of “All f**king christians should be fed to lions while on fire” emails from my account, then came over here. My bad.
    And Nomie? Please remember to capitalize God.

    What ‘flavor’ of Pagan? Wiccan, neo-pagan, modern druid…?

  10. DeepThought,

    Since Nomie used the plural possessive of god in gods’ sake, her lack of capitalization is correct. She was not, I don’t think, referring to your god (note: since I’m referring to one among many gods, my lack of capitalization is also acceptable).

  11. Erin’s correct, I was speaking of gods in the plural.

    And I’d rather not get into a detailed discussion of my religion and spirituality on a public forum, thanks.

  13. Erin/Nomie,
    The ‘please capitalize God’ line should have had a smily marker.

    Freeman,
    Roman women were effectively the property of their husbands – that worked for them, too. Wanna’ adopt that, as well?

  14. Deep Thought,

    Please use one next time, then.

    And actually, Roman women weren’t. It would be more accurate to say they were the dependants of their husbands, but that in itself isn’t necessarily so. It depends on what time you’re talking about and which region of the Empire; certainly post-Augustan era, women had more freedom to conduct business on their own and own property in their own name. Plus there’s the issue of women controlling household finances, even though the men were the titular owners of property and money. Not to say that Rome was a feminist utopia, but still.

  15. Nomie,
    Well, at the time of the great Christian persecutions as I remember Pater Familias was still more the rule than exception, meaning that a man who killed his wife faced no more than the possible wrath of his in-laws.

  16. Pater familias is not a legal status, but a term referring to the father of a household. Please clarify.

    Also, which Christian persecutions? There were several, starting with Nero and extending pretty much up until Constantine took over.

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