In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

Shameless Self-Promotion Sunday

Promote yourself.


Netiquette reminders:

  • we expect Content Notes as a courtesy to our readers for problematic content in linked posts and/or their comment threads (a habit of posting only triggering/disparaging links may annoy the Giraffe (you really don’t want to annoy the Giraffe))
  • extended discussion of self-promotion links on this thread is counter-productive for the intended signal-boosting –  the idea is for the promoted sites to get more traffic.  If it’s a side-discussion that would be off-topic/unwelcome/distressing on the other site, take it to #spillover after leaving a note on this thread redirecting others there.

36 thoughts on Shameless Self-Promotion Sunday

  1. http://colorlines.com/archives/2013/09/grace_jones_is_coming_out_with_a_memoir_next_fall.html

    Grace Jones is imho one of the most important artists in history,and damn it she deserves recognition.
    Remember her in Conan the Barbarian? All around badass.
    Dolph Lundgren? He was her squeeze and she’s credited with helping him get started in show biz.
    Madonna? Give me strength. (I don’t like that style of music to begin with)
    Lady Gaga? Don’tevengetmestarted!

    ALL HAIL GRACE JONES!

  2. Words direct thought, and the Emmy-nominated episode of Girls called “On All Fours” has made me wonder: If we started saying, “It ain’t sex unless everyone enjoys it” would rape and so-called “gray-rape” become less common? And might we all enjoy sex more?

    In this piece I cite a number of instances where people – mostly women – call something “sex” or “bad sex” when it looks more like rape, or what some would call “gray rape.”

    What if “sex” was only used to describe acts that were mutually enjoyable?

    I’d appreciate some feedback from the women’s studies on this as I play with the idea.

    GIRLS “On All Fours”
    http://broadblogs.com/2013/09/18/girls-on-all-fours/ 

    1. Regarding my post, too many young women agree to what they later see as rape because they haven’t thought through that if they aren’t enjoying what’s happening, it may not sex, it may be rape.

      And too many boys see other boys having intercourse with an unconscious girl and think it’s sex.

      Does anyone think that if we reserved the word “sex” ONLY for behavior that is mutually enjoyable, that these problems would occur less?

      1. I should rephrase that it’s not always clearly rape, since they may have consented, but something that can at least end up feeling too much like it.

        Hoping to give young women the idea that if they’re not enjoying it, or think they won’t, they don’t need to feel pressure to do it, or to continue.

        And hoping to get boys to better see that if a girl is unconscious, or is reluctant, its not sex. Unfortunately, there’s still much confusion on consent. Or women can feel bullied into giving “consent.”

        “Is she enjoying it?” seems like a more obvious standard to me. (Though of course, some will convince themselves she is, but perhaps it will help, somewhat?)

        Clearly, I still need some help thinking thru this. Would love to hear other thoughts.

    1. never to refuse to give money just because you think the person will spend it on alcohol. He explained that addictions are really addictions and a person may actually need, for example, to drink the alcohol to still the tremors in their hands simply to drink a bowl of soup.

      IA! Those same people that think they shouldn’t buy alcohol with the money they give them, are probably the sameself ones that police what people buy with food stamps.
      And they are the same people who regard the homeless, people receiving social services, drug addicts, the mentally ill, et al as disposable and leeches on their tax dollars.
      CN: Genocide
      I also believe they would heartedly approve of a “clean up” action to rid society of them.

      On threats: I joking told my dog (Lacy) how stupid she was. My mother said it wasn’t kind and to use a different expression when she did something silly. It does sound a bit dramatic, but she had a point. Weeding out negative and disrespectful words can change the way you think and act. It forced me to think before I speak, and by not using insulting/thoughtless words I feel less negative.

  3. I wrote my reaction to being told here that I ruin debate. I’m being a little hyperbolic now. Obviously it’s not me personally because I’ve never engaged in this discussion here, and on the rare occasions that I do talk about FGM, I usually don’t talk about my son’s penis or penises generally. But I have to say, reading feministe the other day made me feel like a bad mom and a bad feminist because I didn’t circumcise my kid. I’m sure the world’s smallest violin is playing a sad song for me.

    1. Really? The vast majority of comments on that thread were pro-intactivist. The pushback about “ruining debate” was directed entirely at men who were coming on and analogizing circumcision to rape and/or equating it with FGM. Not at people like you, at all, that I saw.

      1. Thanks. I think I was just taking it too personally, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that people were saying I put my kid at risk for HIV. It might be an over-protective mom thing.

  4. Monday was the 25th anniversary of Becky Bell’s tragic death, when she died of an infection caused by an illegal abortion. She was only 17 years old. In the following years, her parents spoke out against parental-involvement laws, which they blamed for driving their daughter to obtain an unsafe abortion.

    Parental-involvement laws interfere with a young person’s autonomy over her own body and violate her right to privacy. Unfortunately, most states have laws that require parental notification or permission before a minor can obtain an abortion.

    Read about the hurdles that are placed in front of people seeking safe abortions.

  5. A busy workweek, but there is some content.

    Since it is shameless self-promotion, what I updated my website with: Adventures in HTML and Shameless Self Promotion.

    CN : violence, medical and military, pirate music (Songs about, not stolen music)

    Thursday was a talkative day. There is a post on “S&M on my TV,” postulating that a certain scene of non-sexual violence was negotiated, consented to and had aftercare; an updated post on my husband after his accident and my son; And Talk Like a Pirate Day silliness.

    CN: gayness, inappropriate humor/comments, ghosts, naked statues, horror movies
    A photodump showing the difference between how men are drawn and how women are drawn, simply by switching heads of characters. (also “Women of the future”, gay couples, Lilith and Little Golden Book versions of horror movies)

    1. CN: gayness

      I’m not sure if this is supposed to be a joke? Because I don’t think my sexuality warrants a content note.

  6. My contributor Trish Mifflin (who doesn’t self-promote) wrote a terrific piece about The Statement of Trans-Inclusive Feminism and Womanism from her perspective as a trans woman contributing to an LGBTQ blog.

    I wrote about “dueling” pieces published in our local paper, one from the Rabbi of a very progressive congregation and the other from the local Catholic Bishop. The topic? Marriage equality (but of course!)

    Finally, I wrote a piece for our LGBTQ Community Center blog about Bisexual Visibility Day (Sept 23)

  7. Content note: sexual assault/abuse discussion

    I wrote a post on why I’m trying to create a site to share stories of the harm caused by sexual assault and abuse:

    “The first [audience] is the people out there who seem to gauge the harm caused by sexual abuse or assault by the amount of force used. Whether Richard Dawkins, who seems to be working through some survivor minimization issues, or the completely terrible but unfortunately not atypical judge in the Cherice Moralez case, who said (ugh, ugh, ugh, sorry to even reproduce these words), “Obviously, a 14-year-old can’t consent. I think that people have in mind that this was some violent, forcible, horrible rape. It was horrible enough as it is, just given her age, but it wasn’t this forcible beat-up rape.” So, I thought this site could help counter the idea that the only way to be hurt or traumatized by sexual assault or abuse is to have a gun held to your head, or be physically injured, or killed.”

    Would greatly appreciate y’all passing the site along to anyone who might be helped by the posts, or who might like to contribute!

  8. My friends is starting a free group in Copenhagen to help expats meet locals and go to local events, and she wants to expand it so that expats all over Scandinavia don’t have to huddle in little expat groups if they don’t speak the language.

    She’s even giving away some awesome Danish jewelry, so I’m helping her out (and nope, neither one of us is making any money off of this)!

    https://plus.google.com/105873044924527006345/posts/WEq5mMHBqNH

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