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LGBT community to the state of Minnesota: “YOU’RE WELCOME.”

Caperton

[Update: Okay, so I’m a sucker. It’s satire. Wishful thinking on my part, I suppose.]

Well, you’ve done it now, Minnesota. You’ve gone and okayed same-sex marriage, and now Michele Bachmann is leaving.

Congresswoman Michele Bachman threatened to leave Minnesota today if the state goes ahead with its plans to legalize gay marriage.

In an interview with a local television station, the conservative firebrand said she believes God will destroy Minneapolis once the legislation is enacted, and wants to be far away when the reckoning happens.

No, don’t go, Michele. Really. Minnesota is begging you. Stay. Well, darn, there she goes.

29 thoughts on LGBT community to the state of Minnesota: “YOU’RE WELCOME.”

  2. Daily Currant is unfortunately a satirical site, but oh how I wish that story were true.

  3. “God will destroy Minneapolis” just doesn’t pack a lot of threatening oomph as a threat.

    Anyway, isn’t God busy, what with Argentina, Belgium, Canada, the Netherlands, Denmark, Iceland, Norway, Portugal, Spain, South Africa and Sweden to destroy, to say nothing of DC, Connecticut, Iowa, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New York, Vermont, Maine, Maryland, Washington, Delaware, and Rhode Island, even if God isn’t feeling like going abroad? What makes Bachman think Minneapolis is so special as to merit particular attention?

    1. Damn. That’s the problem with right-wingers today. All the satire seems perfectly plausible.

      2. Even the radical right doesnt take bachmann seriously.Remember her performance in primaries.

    2. That’s just like God too to go after a city next to the one where the voting is going on. Poor Minneapolis just minding its business while crafty St Paul is at it again.

    3. God has terrible aim. If Minnesota is his current target, I’ll start getting worried for all of us down here in Arkansas.

        3. This is so cool.

          In a state as ultra- ultra- ultra- ultra- ultra-conservative as Arkansas, it feels good to see that there’s real hope after all.

    5. Now that Brazil has got in on the act too, there is some more territory to be well smitten!

  8. Yeah, between the earthquakes, volcanoes, flesh-eating diseases, and all that fire & brimstone raining down, life here in Maine has really gone down the tubes since our citizens referendum on marriage equality was passed.

  9. I suppose she will be headed back to Waterloo. I hope she turns and looks back as she crosses the border — a Michele Bachman Pillar of Salt would be an awesome tourist attraction for northern Iowa.

  11. This one got me too. I wrote a withering, epic response, dripping with contempt. And then I had to mumble a hasty “uh nevermind,” and sheepishly delete.

    …In our defense, one shouldn’t try to satirize Michele Bachmann. You just can’t exaggerate it to the point where the reader can recognize it as something she would not actually say. I could totally picture her actually giving this interview, and that makes it less funny and more scary.

    2. I was duped for a moment too, she is so batshit crazy it was believable – but hey someone has to take over for Pat Robertson at some point, she is the perfect “candidate”.

  12. Did anyone catch the latest news on Pat Robertson’s comments to a caller about her husband’s adultery?

    Geez, are these people for real?

    Some great quotes:

    “Stop talking about the cheating. He cheated on you. Well, he’s a man. OK.” And “Males have a tendency to wander a little bit. And what you want to do is make a home so wonderful he doesn’t want to wander.”

    Where do these people come from? Wander a little bit? Yeah, right. I know some women who if they catch you “wandering,” they’ll put their foot so far up your ass you’ll need a Rand McNally Road Atlas to remove it.

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