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A pile of kids climb over a knotted rope playground

Weekend Open Thread with Macramé Playground

tigtog

A wistful ghost of a 1970s playground made using macramé knots is this weekend’s thread-loving host. Please natter/chatter/vent/rant on anything you like.

A pile of kids climb over a knotted rope playground
1970s Macramé Park: Bolinas, CA | THE LOOK SEE

e.g. What have you been up to? What would you rather be up to? What’s been awesome/awful?
Reading? Watching? Making? Meeting?
What has [insert awesome inspiration/fave fansquee/guilty pleasure/dastardly ne’er-do-well/threat to all civilised life on the planet du jour] been up to?

87 thoughts on Weekend Open Thread with Macramé Playground

  1. I just now, like just a few minutes ago, started watching Teen Wolf, the t.v. show. Little fact about me: I LOVE melodramatic teen shows. Pretty Little Liars and Switched at Birth are my faves. I feel deep deep shame.

    1. I LOVE Pretty Little Liars. This shit is addictive, but problematic.

      Spoiler — I really wish they would stop killing the lesbian liar’s love interests. And they seem to kill off the vast majority of POC. That blows. Right?

      But that shit is like coke. Super, super addictive.

      1. It totes blows (yeah, TOTES). That seems to be really common in like, all t.v. Either no POC, or they all die, or they date main characters for a little while then they break up. I haven’t seen the most recent season yet so I can’t get too spoilery but how do you feel about Aria’s relationship with teacher dude? Is it kind of weird that that is still going on or is it just me?

        1. I just can’t imagine what they have in common. It’s totally weird. And you’re right – it’s all TV. It’s kind of a shame.

        2. (Can’t reply to your comment so I’m replying to my own) Yeah I just keep thinking of this time I had an Emotional Thing with a guy his age when I was her age and looking back I’m like “DAMN SON, why were you into me?? What is wrong with you?” so their relationship squicks me out I think because of that.

          I also love on shows like How I Met Your Mother, they have maybe three POC total over the entire run of the show and only one lasts more than a few episodes, but none of them really last, meanwhile the characters are dating TONS of people. In New York.

      2. You know what show is really awful on that front? Fucking Vampire Diaries. It’s like… so far beyond blatant at this point that I can only assume all the staff is aware they have this problem. So why not try NOT killing off a new POC character? Like… one time? Pleeeease?

        1. OH, but also, I’m glad that this season (although it’s my least favorite overall) is giving Bonnie some actual plot stuff of her own beyond ‘helpful magical plot device.’

        3. Also! The reason I started watching this show in the first place is that it quietly blows my mind that the central manifestation of the madonna/whore complex is in two men. Good brother is a buttoned-up teetotler! Bad brother wears a v-neck and has too much sex! Did you catch that crazy line where what’s her name actually explicitly said that sure, Stefan might be a mass murderer, but at least he isn’t a “manwhore” like his brother? Sometimes TVD can be fascinating this way. Sadly, like you say, it’s 90% or more crap these days, not that it was ever Shakespeare.

        4. Have you read Fangs for the Fantasy on TVD? I completely credit that entire site for making me think critically about mass media and what I’m exposed to, as it covers most of my most-watched shows (including TVD).

          Honestly, before I started writing my comment about PLL, I don’t think I realized how much it reminded me of Renee’s criticisms of TVD.

          This fan-girl squee for Renee has been brought to you by me!

        5. Have you read Fangs for the Fantasy on TVD? I completely credit that entire site for making me think critically about mass media and what I’m exposed to, as it covers most of my most-watched shows (including TVD).

          Oh, sweet shit. No, I’ve never heard of it. But I’m so there

      2. When I was in my late teens I had a host of health problems that had me bed-ridden. I watched the original Degrassi Junior High and Degrassi High series’ about three or four times straight through. My love for those shows is boundless.

        I’m sadly not as up on The Next Generation.

  2. Come hell or high water, I’m going to be sending in my manuscript this week, I DON’T CARE WHAT HAPPENS. Damn thing was due months ago. I will never work on books still in copyright again. Obtaining permissions is just too onerous and expensive and time-consuming and labor-intensive.

  3. Joined in for the first time last week and loved it…so just really saying hi…oh and that people who moan about social media are missing so much…
    TW for street harrassment…

    The story…

    A twitter friend, tweeted out a panicked tweet, a group of men pulled up to her in a car, started shouting, and asking if she wanted to suck their cocks, it was dark, she was alone. Very wisely she got on the bus pulling up…so now she was on a strange bus (she didnt know route) shaken, scared and alone.

    We have been able to make her smile, feel safe, and stay calm till she got home, no way would she have been able to have group support any other way.

    So yay for twitter and good people 🙂

    1. This makes me happy. I’m glad your friend had support during a difficult time. It almost changes the whole tenor of the event.

  4. Debbie Downer: My company in an industry populated primarily by people raised wealthy, thin, white, able-bodied, and dudely (I can claim three of those privileges, full disclosure) is in the process of hiring. Every fucking conversation about hiring makes me want to bang my head against a wall. I honestly don’t feel comfortable being more specific than this, but the sheer amount of racist, sexist shit I hear around this time makes me want to quit despite loving what I do on a day-to-day basis.

    …Ursula Upper? I love this weekend open thread stuff, tigtog. I think it helps me feel closer to this community, and I love reading each and every post here. It reminds me of how lucky I am to (internet-ly) know such brilliant, fascinating, and humble people. Y’all are so awesome, you should be giant douche-faces, and I’m impressed you’re not.

    1. I’m really loving the open threads too. I feel like I want to participate here more and get to know people but I don’t often have anything to add to the conversation, so it’s nice getting to chat with everyone about whatever.

      2. . I feel like I want to participate here more and get to know people but I don’t often have anything to add to the conversation

        …never stopped me before!

    2. PrettyAmiable – that tradeoff between one’s dignity and one’s serenity, where one has to swallow shit or ruin everybody’s workday, is fucked, isn’t it?

      Thanks everyone for the open-thread love! I’m enjoying hearing all your stories, too.

      I’ve just signed up for a choir workshop that meets weekly for the next semester – it should be lots of fun to get back in the habit of regular singing again. I don’t do enough of it, considering that singing always used to be a big thing for me, and getting out of the habit really has not been marvellous for my mental health. I hope the rest of the group are fun to be around is all.

  5. I live in the US and work in an east coast office while my boss works in a midwest office. This week my boss talked to me about the “3 signs of a miserable job” which are anonymity, irrelevancy, and immeasurability. To address anonymity, he allocates 30 minutes a week for a one on one chat (which is when he talked to me about this). To combat irrelevancy there is a section in my quarterly review where I am supposed to list the people who my work affects positively. And to address immeasurability, he wants me to come up with 1-3 measures that I can use to tell if I am doing a good job each day and bring them to our next one on one meeting.

    He’s not a very good manager.

      1. Probably! I haven’t read Marx so I can’t say for sure, but my boss loves him some pseudo-philosophical management books. This one was written by a “business guru” and though the writer casts this book as just his own thoughts and conclusions, it’s not like he’s going to cite Marx when trying to market his book to business people in the US!

        I’m gonna go do some reading on Entfremdung now though, and I’ll get back to you.

        1. So wait, your boss wants to motivate you by connecting with you and showing you your impact on others and rewarding you for performing well. But, they let you know they are calling to create a feeling of connection and not out of genuine interest, make you come up with who your work impacts, and makes you come up with your own performance measures (the last two possibly implying an unfamiliarity with what you actually do).

          I think the theory (as far as acknowledging, connecting with, and watching the performance of, employees) is sound but the application sees a wee bit off in my opinion.

        2. Close! My boss is intimately familiar with what I do, but apparently has no time to actually monitor my work since we are understaffed and his manager has him doing three jobs: his own, his old boss’s job who left suddenly for Australia, and the job of a worker who they recently fired.

          He’s not a very good manager because he’s not very good with people, and he knows it, but part of that is not knowing what to do about it. So he just sticks with the party lines and the management books, and I try to remember how glad I am not to have his job.

    2. I thought the 3 signs of a miserable job were low pay, unsteady hours and no possibility of advancement.

      I guess those metrics wouldn’t be so popular with managers, though–because the solution is to pay people a living wage.

  7. So I’m in a creative writing graduate program, and this week is when I started writing my poetry thesis in earnest. This is both exciting and scary! Exciting because I get to write a book-length chunk of poetry, the culmination of three years or so of work, and my thesis advisor is awesome. Scary because one of the things I’m writing about is being trans, and how I realized I was trans, and that means soon I’m going to be publicly coming out as trans, and I’m not sure how that’s going to go down. So yeah, this is going to be an interesting year for me.

    2. It’s things like this that make me think of Feministe as “cutting edge feminism”. Your work sounds amazing!

  8. I always wonder how people manage to blog about disability, particularly their own disability, with such grace. I mean, there’s days when I want nothing more than to rattle off 3000-word screeds on the matter, but it never seems to come out looking like anything but abloobloobloo my life is sooo tough, even when that’s the furthest thing from my intentions.

    1. Hi Mac! This is mostly unrelated, but I think you’ve mentioned migraines in the past, and this is an artist who I went to college with who works with ceramics to express the blinding pain of her frequent migraines: https://www.facebook.com/fordceramicart

      Most recently, she created a mold of her head and shoulders and then creates several ceramic casts from it. You can see the whole process and the final products are phenomenal.

    2. I know EXACTLY how you feel. There’s a reason my blog only gets updated infrequently. I’m forever trying to come up with ways to be more productive, but I only have so many spoons during a day. It can be very frustrating, but I refuse to give up.

    3. I know what you mean. For weeks now I’ve been refraining from posting too thoroughly about my issues in the comments of this blog and others, and how they affect my worldview these days, for fear of it ending up being poorly disguised “abloobloo” on my part.

      The only element that I think might be relevant to other’s lives, is the impression I have that there isn’t enough awareness about social anxety disorders, and awareness is key to getting a cure, but I’m wary of getting into TMI territory and self-pity.

  9. SophiaBlue, that’s a hell of an exciting project you’ve got yourself there. Not to mention the opportunity to show your chops.

    The only book-length poem I ever read for pleasure was The Golden Gate, by Vikram Seth, and that was 20 years ago. I read Howl and most of Paterson in school, but The Golden Gate was something I picked up on my own and just read.

    What long poems do you like?

    1. I should clarify that the book’s not going to be one long poem but a collection of poems (although it’s going to have at least one good-size poem in it).

      I liked T.S. Eliot’s The Wasteland as a teenager, although it’s been a while since I read it.

  10. I just started watching Supernatural, borrowed 7 seasons from a friend. There’s fun, and there’s mangling of various cultures and histories, and some very scarifying episodes. Plus a few women-in-refrigerators which is annoying.
    Jensen Ackles has very pretty eyes, by th way.

    1. Yeah, that’s not going to get better. There is, so far, exactly one (1) recurring female character who isn’t dead, and one (ex) partner who hasn’t been fridged. There are no living recurring POC characters. I love SPN, but it is problematic as fuck.

      1. Every episode I’m like “I could write a thesis on this bullshit.”

        Hahaha! I know, right???? It’s gotten to the point where Valoniel and I have a ritual exchange, each episode:

        “ooh, there’s a woman/POC! Bet you they die.”

        “Sucker bet.”

        “Yeah, fair enough.”

        3. Yeah, we’ve been watching marathon-style to catch up where we left off a couple of seasons ago, and it’s on my list of Shows That Should Not Be Watched As A Marathon for pretty much that reason. “Oh, look, they’ve created an entire cohort of superpowered twentysomethings by setting their moms on fire.” “Oh, look, it’s another female demon with her tits out.” “Oh, look, it’s the only woman Dean has ever loved, whom we will never see again.”

          That said, Jensen Ackles is very, very pretty.

        4. “Oh, look, they’ve created an entire cohort of superpowered twentysomethings by setting their moms on fire.”

          To be fair, that does get explained in a later season…

          “Oh, look, it’s the only woman Dean has ever loved, whom we will never see again.”

          Yes, because Castiel is his one true love

        5. To be fair, that does get explained in a later season…

          Yeah, yeah. Fridge is gettin’ crowded, is all I’m sayin’.

          Yes, because Castiel is his one true love

          Seriously, they’ve been through how many alternate histories, realities, and/or dimensions in the past eight seasons, and never that one?

        6. Yeah, yeah. Fridge is gettin’ crowded, is all I’m sayin’.

          Fuck, yeah. I’m not even debating that; like I said upthread, it’s become something of a drinking game for me…

          Seriously, they’ve been through how many alternate histories, realities, and/or dimensions in the past eight seasons, and never that one?

          Actually, the future seen in s5 counts imo. See a takedown here: http://lurea.tumblr.com/post/32740499203/ (Not me, but it covers the things I noticed. There’s more if you search their tag.)

        7. Yes. I ship Dean/Castiel so much. Less than Jack/Ianto* (my OTP) but more than John/Sherlock.

          I have a scale…apparently.

          *They were Canon.

      2. Eh, I love me some Destiel, but it’s not among my top ships ever. (Largely because I discovered Kazuya Minekura’s Saiyuki ‘verse, and now all my brain iz hers. POssibly literally. I’m not sure.) Because Tenpou and Kenren, damn it. Because Tenpou and Kenren.

        (behold: http://nyanyan.pl/upload/121287_yt9r5b30ha4c67kzd2pxvfnmslujo1i8ewgq.jpg )

        Just four volumes and everybody dies horribly (this is not a spoiler, it’s literally predestined since the main series has their reincarnations), but holy shit it’s amazing.

    3. Oh gods, that show. I binged it over the autumn months and just had to quit because I reached my limit of ignoring it’s issues. I might go back, I managed to finish my obsession with knowing what Sex and the City was all about.

      p.s.
      Misha is much prettier than Jensen

  13. So the Friday U.S. Labor Department report shows that the female labor force participation rate has dropped to 57.4 percent, the lowest since 1991.

    While both men and womens’ labor force participation rate took a hit during the recession, mens’ has stabilized in the past two years between 70 and 70.5. Womens’ has continued to fall throughout the “jobs recovery.” This is interesting because throughout all of the 20th century, womens’ labor force participation went up faster than mens’. In the 2000s this progress stalled out, but never before have we seen statistically a 4-year period where womens’ labor force participation has consistently fallen, and in the past year fallen faster than for men. Women had always been strong participants in previous economic recoveries in the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s.

  14. I’m thinking about trying to get help to deal with my anxiety. It’s hard though, I just have to convince myself that it’s worth it. Last time I tried the lady was oddly confrontational and I just kinda ran.

    1. That seems like a most counterproductive counselling/therapy strategy on her part, librarygoose. Hope you find someone with a more effective approach this time around – they are out there.

    3. Anxiety also responds well to cognitive-behavior therapy (CBT), if you can find someone who does that. CBT is particularly good for people who would rather develop practices to counter specific difficulties than do the kind of open-ended discussion of issues that the less directed, more traditional kind of psychodynamic therapy calls for. I’m not knocking either kind–I’ve used both and they’ve both helped me–but different people are comfortable with different approaches, so I thought I’d put it out there.

      1. I know that many people have got a lot out of CBT, but I… kind of hated it. And I feel kind of bad sometimes that I did? Because it’s new and fancy and I have had so very many therapists try to put me on it and I just ended up self-monitoring so much that I ended up much more crazy than before therapy. So when I finally found a therapist that was willing to just accept that I didn’t deal well with CBT it was a godsend. Which isn’t to say that CBT won’t work for you, but I just have *many feelings* about the recommendation.

    4. I’ll second the recommendations of both CBT and EMDR. I’ve success with both. The EMDR really helped me with some anxiety and related issues stemming from my assault, and I’m currently working with CBT to manage my more general anxiety.

      Best wishes.

      1. eg and moviemaedchen, how did you find someone who really practices CBT? I’ve had no real success finding anyone, all therapists *say* they do, but so far none of the ones I’ve tried actually do it. I could use more coping mechanisms because I still have to deal with very real possibility of ex coming after me when the PO expires. I will try to get an extension but I’m told it’s unlikely because he hasn’t violently violated the order. It drives me nuts that because the PO works with him I can’t get it extended BUT if it didn’t work (he had attacked me) then they’d be happy to extend it. It’s insane.

        1. That is terrible (about the nonsensical PO situation) and frightening. I’m really sorry.

          The thing is, I’m kind of spoiled for choice when it comes to finding therapists, because I do live in NYC, which has got to be the therapist capital of the US, and possibly the entire world. I think I googled “cognitive therapy” and came up with the American Institute for Cognitive Therapy and called them. I don’t know where you are, but you could always call them and ask for a recommendation of somebody nearby. The website is kind of cheesy, but they do know what they’re doing.

          Where I’m not spoiled for choice is when it comes to affording therapists…

    5. Thanks for all the advice, I’ve had anxiety problems for as long as I can remember. Then idea of getting help for my default setting is a little stressing.

      1. Does it help to think of your default setting as irrespective of the anxiety? At your base, with or without anxiety, you’re librarygoose. That thought has helped me in the past.

    6. I’ve been trying to get a handle on (probably fairly minor?) anxiety and sleep problems too. So far, The Worry Control Book by Mary Ellen Copeland has been helping a lot. (Not perfect, she does recommend homeopathy, which is not exactly scientifically sound) But yeah, I definitely feel you on it being really scary to try and mess with thought patterns I’ve had my entire life. *jedi hugs* if you want them.

    7. CBT (which actually is not particularly new, but has seen a resurgence due to a pretty good track record in RCTs) is not a good fit for everyone; I am not surprised to hear that ppl have had mixed & bad experiences. FTR, my son has done REALLY well with his CBT for anxiety, which I attribute as much to the fact that we really liked and trusted his therapist, as to basic CBT methodology. But I think it’s easier to find a good fit when you are not operating from (m)any axis(es) of marginalization, too.

      There are two other cognitive behavioral disciplines that a lot of people who don’t get on with CBT, have found helpful. Dialectical behavioral therapy is really well validated for anxiety in the setting of other severe emotional dysregulatory issues (like bi-polar, suicidality, personality disorder issues).

      Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) is also emerging as very effective, and has the advantage of being amenable to a DIY approach. Many people have found it helpful even without a formal clinical relationship, as there are home workbooks to use:
      http://www.amazon.com/Mindfulness-Acceptance-Workbook-Anxiety-Commitment/dp/1572244992

      Here is a website with a little more info on ACT and anxiety:
      http://www.anxietyhappens.com/AcceptanceCommitment/

      1. Thanks for the link, this is a very interesting website. Some of the advice it gives is what I’ve been confusely trying over the past year to confront my social phobia.

        ACT in particular looks like what I’ve been planning to do once I can afford to.

  16. If you’re watching teen shows on Disney, you may want to check out the Orlando Sentinel’s articles on Textgate. Orlando area residents tried to get a law passed requiring paid sick leave, in a region with very rich companies who provide few or no benefits. Disney and WalMart, among others, opposed the bill and communications from the big guns were disappeared in defiance of state law. Fed DOJ is investigating. 90% of restaurant workers nationwide and huge numbers of retail workers, mostly female, have no paid sick leave.

    Aside from ranting, I’m perusing gardeners’ porn for a big seed order. Trying heirloom potato cukes and some Mexican and Viet herbs this year.

    1. ahhh, the seed and plant catalogs in winter, I have been looking through them in front of a fire for weeks. I tried artichokes last year but got them in too late – going for those again. Many others I want to do, need a bigger garden 🙂

      1. Disabled acquaintance has land and can’t garden anymore. She’s letting me plant enough for several and she & son eat first. Good deal if you can arrange it at your end.

  17. “OK, these people saying that your words can have offensive implications even if you meant something completely different by it have a point. So we’re cutting it out. All in favour”?
    “Aye.” “Aye.”
    “Passed three to zero!”
    Later… *drop a spanner on foot*
    “Son of a bitch!”

    It hasn’t been a good day for progress. Anybody got any tips on neural reprogramming?

  18. The news stories about the controversy over birth control without co-pays make me feel angry, despairing, and sad. A few weeks ago I picked up my first pill packet that I was charged “$0.00” for, and I was elated. I wasn’t charged anything for my flu shot either, and I felt like finally, politics mattered; re-electing Obama in my swing state mattered. Looking at that “$0.00” was an affirmation that being a woman isn’t having a pre-existing condition, and that I’m doing something that keeps myself and my family healthy–just like getting a flu shot. Considering I grew up in a patriarchal, religious home in which birth control was considered a sin, this public insistence on my health as a woman over political and religious misogyny really meant a lot to me. It was a deeply meaningful moment. And then I see people quoted on the front page of the national newspapers complaining that (male) bosses won’t be able to have control over the ovaries of their (female) employees. How much does $8, or $15, or $30 a month mean to you? How much does that amount mean to a college student, or maybe to a custodian at a religious hospital already struggling to feed her kids? A woman told me at a recent Roe 40th anniversary event that she was on the pill from age 18 to age 35. How much money does that add up to? If she would have invested those thousands of dollars in her twenties, how much would she have in her 50s and 60s–the age of the men who think that their religious convictions have anything to do with the health of my body, a body that includes reproductive organs, and that I can empower easily and safely with modern medicine? Could she have then given all that money she saved, as these misogynists are doing, to political causes? And then in another paper, there was an article about the “Baby Bust”–the U.S.’s supposed demographic decline–that had a picture of a baby, not a woman on it. And CSPAN was featuring a book about falling fertility rates that had a picture of a stork on the cover. A stork! A fictional animal, not a human, a person, a woman. I can’t believe it’s 2013 and the patriarchy is still so effective at crossing out women’s bodies and our experience of living in them as if they didn’t exist.

    Thanks for giving me a place to share.

  19. I made a pair of socks this week. I am hard at work on the second pair.

    My co-author and I submitted a short story for a gender-queer anthology.

    I laughed my way through Gamers 2: Dorkness Rising and Four’s A Crowd. (And yawned all the way through Operation Burma. Warning: not only dull, but racist. Then again, WWII propaganda movie.)

    Am almost done editing the first two books for my small press. And my WebWizard made us a new website.

    Made a policy decision for my coven because our Imbolc celebrant moved 600 miles away.

    It’s been a busy week.

  21. Just went to my haircut place and got my hair trimmed. Hopefully my dad won’t rage at me for not getting a short haircut like I usually do. >_> My hair is longer than ever.

    Oh, and I’m reading Participation and Democratic Theory by Carole Pateman. Great book so far.

  22. It’s no longer the weekend, but I have to rant quickly.

    My kids were in a spelling bee this weekend and I can’t get over people’s inability in general to attend a public function and sit quietly for a period of time.

    I’m not even referring to kids. Adults. On phones (which were supposed to be turned off), chit-chatting, getting up and walking around and not trying to be at all quiet about it.

    This is the second public function (the other was a meeting about a French program at my kids school) that I have gone to and been frustrated by the fact that I cannot hear a damn thing because people are talking, text messaging, kids are running around unsupervised. I mean, it’s winter and snow boots in an auditorium gets freaking LOUD.

    I’m sure there are a few people that have good reasons and I’m trying really hard to take these possibilities into consideration, especially where kids are concerned, but holy crap, as someone who has some hearing loss and has trouble with too much ambient noise, it’s ridiculously frustrating.

    1. I’m noticing something similar in my classes this term; students who are sitting right in front of me chatting to their neighbors while I am talking as though it’s no big deal. I’ve taken to mild public shaming, which makes me feel like a junior high teacher (“Lisa, now is not the time to have a conversation; Lisa, I am talking.“).*

      *I have no student named Lisa. This is just an example.

    3. In other news, both the girls tried really hard and weren’t too disappointed at losing. Plus they got free books for participating, which was cool.

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