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Vagina Drama, and Why It Matters

This is a guest post by Laurie and Debbie. Debbie Notkin is a body image activist, a feminist science fiction advocate, and a publishing professional. She is chair of the motherboard of the Tiptree Award and will be one of the two guests of honor at the next WisCon in May 2012. Laurie is a photographer whose photos make up the books Women En Large: Images of Fat Nudes (edited and text by Debbie Notkin) and Familiar Men: A Book of Nudes (edited by Debbie Notkin, text by Debbie Notkin and Richard F. Dutcher). Her photographs have been exhibited in many cities, including New York, Tokyo, Kyoto, Toronto, Boston, London, Shanghai and San Francisco. Her solo exhibition “Meditations on the Body” at the National Museum of Art in Osaka featured 100 photographs. Her most recent project is Women of Japan, clothed portraits of women from many cultures and backgrounds. Laurie and Debbie blog together at Body Impolitic, talking about body image, photography, art and related issues. This post originally appeared on Body Impolitic.

Laurie and Debbie say:

Everyone is probably aware that Michigan Democratic State Senator Lisa Brown had a one-day gag order imposed upon her for using the word “vagina” in a comment about state abortion clinic regulations. What she said was, “I’m flattered you’re all so interested in my vagina, but no means no.”

This has led to all kinds of political responses, from a reading of The Vagina Monologues (by Eve Ensler) starring Brown on the steps of the Michigan capitol building to a tongue-in-cheek proposal by Dahlia Lithwick recommending a law “providing that any women who seeks to use the word vagina in a floor debate be required to wait 72 hours after consulting with her physician before she may say it. It will also require her physician to certify in writing that said woman was not improperly coerced into saying the word vagina against her will.”

The leader in the fight to silence Brown, Rep. Mike Callton, R-Nashville, said, “What she said was offensive. It was so offensive, I don’t even want to say it in front of women. I would not say that in mixed company.” Our experience is that men who say “I would not say that in mixed company” are often the ones who say “cunt” in unmixed company, and in front of women, act like we don’t have bodies, unless they’re trying to get into the parts they won’t mention.

“Cunt” is a word a lot of people have trouble with, because in the United States (except in some radical circles), it is used almost exclusively as a negative description of women–not our bodily parts but all of us. “Pussy,” on the other hand, is used as a negative description of men. “Vagina” is effectively never used as a slur. It’s a formal, medical word, perhaps the only one that can be used without a lot of sexual innuendo. And it makes lots of people uncomfortable. (This paragraph edited based on the comments, which have more information about different word use in Australia.)

Kayt Sukel, an author who writes about neuroscience and sexuality, has given lectures around the country on the issue. And there’s one word, she finds, that never fails to make some in her audience squeamish.

“There’s just something about the word ‘vagina’ that startles people — I don’t know what it is,” says Sukel. “People sit back a little bit. Sometimes they start giggling. I end up using euphemisms just to make them more comfortable, and more receptive to what I am saying. And we don’t seem to have the same problems with the word ‘penis.'”

We’ve seen the history of public use of medical terms in the media played out in our lifetimes. “Anus,” and a host of other sexual words, became acceptable because of the serious talk about safer sex required by the AIDS epidemic. “Penis” made an extra jump to the national news when Lorena Bobbitt cut off her husband’s in 1993. Eve Ensler gets the credit for bringing “vagina” into common usage in the media.

Of course there was a time when no one would say any of these words in a legislative setting. Brown probably, at least to some extent, meant to be shocking. She probably expected some reaction. But she wasn’t just criticized, or asked to behave differently, she was actually, legally silenced from saying anything in her official capacity for 24 hours. And the implication is clear that if she continues, they (the men/Republicans in the Michigan legislature) can do this for longer.

It’s not about the word. It’s not even about vaginas. It’s about men (and, horrifyingly, women) who believe that their right to legislate women’s bodies extends to their right to legislate our mouths, our minds, and our very existence. It’s about who gets to decide what words are dirty and which dirty words can be said where.

Vagina. Vagina. Vagina. Vagina. Penis. Vagina. Vagina. Vagina. Pussy. Vagina. Vagina. Vagina. Cunt. Vagina. Vagina. Vagina.

Oh, and by the way, Representative Callton? We’d like you better if you were a penis instead of a dick.


32 thoughts on Vagina Drama, and Why It Matters

  1. “Cunt” is a word a lot of people have trouble with, because in the United States (except in some radical circles), it is used almost exclusively as a negative description of women

    that’s really interesting, because here in the UK, i don’t think of it as a word that would normally be directed at women specifically. is that really true of the US?

  2. Yeah, “cunt” here in the U.S. is usually directed at “difficult” women. I have yet to hear anyone call an assertive dude a cunt. BUT…that’s just my personal experience with the word.

    Also, I read somewhere that what they actually objected to was Brown conflating sexual assault with legislation that would tell women what to do with their bodies, not necessarily her using the word vagina (which is still a bullshit reason for the backlash). I believe, however, that it was actually the word itself that ruffled their feathers and they were just grasping for more “legitimate” reasons for attempting to silence her.

    This whole thing is fuckin ridiculous.

  3. Even in the UK, In London, I used the word “cunt” in a bar, and was told by the bartender that he had never heard a woman use it before. I told him that as far as I was concerned, only women had the right to use it.

  4. unyun-
    even if it was the reference to rape that offended, since when do we not discuss rape and “no means no” in mixed company? Men (and women) love telling women how to not “get themselves raped.”

    (It was totally about the use of vagina, though. Politicians don’t give a shit about rape, just about possible the offspring resulting from sexual assault. )

  5. @soviella: “Cunt” is the ultimate female insult, and it had connotations of a woman being nothing *but* her sex organs–it has implications of being disgusting, of being a whore (not that there’s anything wrong with being a sex worker), of needing put in her place by someone (usually a man) and has an almost rape-threat sense to it.

    It’s really about the worst word someone could use against me, as a woman. I’ve told my boyfriend if he ever uses that word against me, I’m going to be walking out for a few days and seriously think about whether or not I’ll stay with him. He fully agrees with me.

  6. cherrybomb — totally agree with you. It was definitely about the word vagina. Any offense they supposedly took to “no means no” after the fact was just them backpedaling, perhaps because they realized how stupid they were coming off?
    But either way you spin it… those dudes come off as assholes.

  7. I’ve heard the word “cunt” used to refer to men a fair amount myself, but I guess ymmv.

    I still raise my eyebrow every time I hear someone say it was her use of the word “vagina,” though. I mean, if she had said “it’s not the business of the government to control a woman’s vagina,” do you think she’d have been gagged? Maybe, but I rather doubt it. However, if she’d said “I don’t want any of you between my thighs. No means no, gentlemen,” I could easily picture a similar reaction.

    That said, I think it’s still tied up in misogyny. But I think it’s that she made a snarky/smart-alacky comment about them being jackasses and they didn’t care to be talked to in that tone of voice, especially by a woman.

  8. I too have heard people argue that the Republicans objected to the rape analogy over the specific term. I find that rather hypocritcal of the Republicans, a party that often paints people who are pro-choice as murders.

    I honestly believe whether it was the word itself, or the rape analogy, that this was about silencing women who disagreed with the speaker’s viewpoint. The language used was just an excuse to do it.

  9. One time before my Spanish class started, and the instructor arrived, we were idly talking about the Vagina Monologues because a classmate was performing in it. A dude was uncomfortable with the word despite the fact that he had a young daughter. Naturally, I had to holler “VAGINA” a few times accompanied by jazz hands, because yeesh.

  10. It’s true, “vagina” is so un-ladylike. It’s way more ladylike to speak about vagazzaling our va-jay-jays and freshening our ladybits (Cosmo readers know this, and Cosmo is all about the current standards of ladylike). Ohmigosh, though, don’t you dare say “vagina,” “abortion,” or “no means no.”
    If you were a real lady you wouldn’t even know about rape, and wouldn’t have to worry about it happening to you because you’re so ladylike.

  11. I seem to recall knowing a number of men who couldn’t even bring themselves to say the word out loud. I’m not exactly sure what they were afraid of; it isn’t as if the word itself has teeth or was liable to drown them in its murky depths. Perhaps it had something to do with their madonna-whore issues, and the word made them think of their mothers.

  12. Here in the UK, it’s typically, but not exclusively, directed at despised men. But sometimes they hurl it abusively at women too. I never despised the word cunt like I now despise the word cunt until I moved to England.

  13. I don’t know, there are times when I feel like the world wants to talk about our vaginas until the cows come home…but nobody mentions clitorises, like, ever. Is my perception wrong, here?

  14. There’s definitely a “hey girl” republican sensitive to rape culture meme in there somewhere.

    I’m confident that they’d legislate clitorises if they could find an angle to get values voters rabidly angry over them. I feel like there’s a think tank somewhere in Washington with a surreal whiteboard of ideas for that.

    1. @carlamariee—-what you said—–she made fun of them and question ed their right to control women—-that really is the heart of the matter after all

  15. I feel like clitoris isn’t as taboo to say out loud as vagina though. Remember South Park? Hell, I think it’s easier clitoris at a cocktail party than vagina.

  16. I’ve found that ‘cunt’ also gets used a lot in Australia (well, ocker “white” male Aussie culture”) like ‘yer man’ gets used in Northern Irish – it just means “that person”. eg: “I was at the shop and these cunts stole my parking spot” or “whatchoo dooin, cunt?”.

    It’s not something my close circle of male & female friends use, but I’ve recently caught up with some male friends from my (small, isolated, country) hometown and honestly, it’s every second word, and used without any real aggression (yes, mock aggression toward friends or mild irritation towards annoying strangers), and not towards women.

    I lasted about five minutes before I tactfully suggested that the C-bomb is of sufficient megatonnage that it ought to be reserved for situations of import.

  17. Hell, I think it’s easier clitoris at a cocktail party than vagina.

    You should see what happens when analysts start to talk shop, or worse yet the bars and restaurants around a convention. It would almost be funny (if it wasn’t so depressing) to see the reactions of people shocked –shocked– to hear grown adults use words like anus, penis, and vagina in polite conversation without batting an eyelash.

  18. Weird aside about clitorises- We had normal sex-ed in middle school with anatomy diagrams and such… it was not abstinence only based or anything like that… but they NEVER told us what the clitoris was. I didn’t know what my clitoris was until the internet existed and i googled (except it wasn’t google at the time, it was like, yahoo or ask.com or something.) it. They gave us biological names and explained the function of every part of our reproductive system except one of the most obvious, external, visable parts. I was confused about that until i was like, 13ish. WHY didn’t they just tell us what it was? Were they afraid if they told us it was the clitoris and it was in charge of sexual sensation we’d all start unconrolably pleasuring ourselves? WTF?

  19. Sen. Brown’s saying “vagina” is a red herring. She made fun of them and questioned their right to control women. That’s what they found intolerable.

  20. In France and in Belgium the equivalent of the word cunt is “con”. It is used by everybody all the time with pretty much everything, it basically means stupid or without value. I’m con, it’s con, are you con or what ?
    There are no such common curse words based on male anatomy.

    Nobody told me what a clitoris (or even an orgasm) was until I was 14 and read about it in a magazine.

  21. Don’t forget that Ms. Brown started that paragraph by saying (paraphrase), I’m not asking you to conform to my religion’s rules, why are you asking me to conform to yours?

    1. because their goal is a religious police state, and once they ram their legislation thru, they will drop all pretense of being polite

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