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Michigan state rep barred from debate for saucy language

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Michigan state representative Lisa Brown has been censured during debate on an abortion bill, and barred from debate on an unrelated bill, after saying something so scandalous, so foul, so egregious it shouldn’t be spoken in mixed company.

“What she said was offensive,” said Rep. Mike Callton, R-Nashville. “It was so offensive, I don’t even want to say it in front of women. I would not say that in mixed company.”

…

Majority Floor Leader Jim Stamas, R-Midland, determined Brown’s comments violated the decorum of the House, said Ari Adler, spokesman for the Republican majority.

What did Brown say that was so dreadfully scandalous? If there are any children in the room with you, you’ll probably want to cover their eyes before you read this.

“I have not asked you to adopt and adhere to my religious beliefs. Why are you asking me to adopt yours? And finally, Mr. Speaker, I’m flattered that you’re all interested in my vagina, but ‘no’ means ‘no.'”

WHERE ARE MY PEARLS I MUST CLUTCH THEM

The subject of a woman’s vagina is so scandalized, Callton won’t even speak of it in front of people who own vaginas. He will, however, regulate them–the bill under discussion would ban all abortions after 20 weeks, with a narrow exception for the life of the mother.

It must be mentioned, however, that Stamas hasn’t specified precisely why Brown was barred from speaking. Although we’re assuming she was censured for “vagina,” we don’t know it wasn’t “the status of the fetus as human life does not equal that of the mother.” Or “I’m Jewish.”

80 thoughts on Michigan state rep barred from debate for saucy language

  1. Someone so squicked out by the word “vagina” that he wouldn’t be able to say it in mixed company (despite the gender disparity, his job has members of both sexes!) should probably not have a job that requires discussion of vaginas. And when your job is making legislation, and your proclivity is toward making draconian laws against vaginas and their owner’s abilities to do with them what they want, you’d better be pretty certain that the word vagina is going to come up.

    It really points to the ever-increasing feeling that Republicans would be much happier if vaginas and the people who own them just didn’t exist in any capacity besides “pleasure hole” and “baby exit”; and even then only if it can be a pleasure hole or baby exist without anyone talking about that aspect. Maybe “magic innocent baby portal” is a better term. Anything more nuanced is too messy or gross or slutty or offensive, and anything implying that there might be a person attached to it would concede that those vagina-having people might own those vaginas, which is strictly off-limits, evidently.

  2. I think it might be more about the part where she invoked rape (no means no) than the word “vagina” itself. Still not a valid reason for a ban and definitely a valid point, but Brown would probably have been barred from speaking no matter what word she used.

  3. Shame. Ful.

    Condemning pregnant women to death in the event of potentially fatal complications is bad enough on its own, but to then actively silence and punish dissent by people who will be directly threatened by this law? That’s another frightening move in an overtly authoritarian direction. I have little doubt the patriarchs pushing this garbage will actually attempt to enforce the law, and may even find a way to put women in jail for violating the law (or any follow-up legislation that expands enforcement; I’m not sure offhand if this law targets medical practitioners only).

    In my grimmer moments, I wonder if the state would ever try to catch women crossing the Canadian border seeking abortions. The only surface crossings are bridges over rivers at Detroit, Port Huron, and Sault Ste. Marie. Without knowing offhand the state of access in Wisconsin, Minnesota, Illinois, Indiana, or Ohio, I don’t know whether those states would be refuges either.

  4. I always do my best to avoid having or discussing vag*nas in mixed company. It’s called manners, people. And everyone knows “no” doesn’t reaalllly mean “no.” Vag*na-havers just don’t have that kind of agency.

  5. What kind of pervert would mention v******s in the presence of the very people most often burdened by them?? Scandalous!! Rude and callous!! I shall be on my fainting couch if needed, trying to forget that I have a lower half. *sweeps away, fanning self*

  6. I think it might be more about the part where she invoked rape (no means no) than the word “vagina” itself.

    I think it’s actually her saying that they’re interested in her vagina. That’s shame inducing for the typical bible thumper.

  7. Also, I don’t see the connection between abortions and v******s; don’t the little tiny babies just float in space independent of any woman’s body parts? Coulda sworn they did…

  9. When I met with my surgeon in advance of my GRS, I simply drew a picture of what I wanted with crayons. I’ve never actually uttered that word a single time in my entire life. I think the universe might end if I did; it’s kind of like saying out loud the secret name of God. In fact, I’m beginning to wonder if maybe that’s it.

  10. When I met with my surgeon in advance of my GRS, I simply drew a picture of what I wanted with crayons.

    When I schedule a y**rly ex*m I have to just vaguely gesture and meaningfully raise my eyebrows at the receptionist. Because else it would be filthy talk.

  11. When I met with my surgeon in advance of my GRS, I simply drew a picture of what I wanted with crayons.

    Also, crayons? Why do that when there are perfectly good Georgia O’Keefe paintings out there? ;p

  12. It’s actually super-considerate, y’all. They know that talking about vagyouknows in front of women will just remind us that we have vagdowntheres, and then we’ll have to think about how we’ll never account to anything because of it. We’re better off forgetting. They’re legit thoughtful.

  13. “I always do my best to avoid having or discussing vag*nas in mixed company. ”

    Actually, I think the best part is where he specifically says it shouldn’t be said in front of women. Which implies that it’s ok for him to say it, as long as there are no women around, but that it would still be bad for a woman to say it when only women are around.

    Dear Sir, you logic is not like our Earth logic.

  14. They’re twitter is @MIHouseGOP if anyone feels like vagina bombing them

    I suggest the hashtag #vaginavagina, unless you have enough characters for #vaginavaginavagina.

  15. Someone should provide Representative Brown with this listof alternatives to *shudder* that word to prevent the corruption of our innocent men-folk.

  16. Majority Floor Leader Jim Stamas, R-Midland, determined Brown’s comments violated the decorum of the House, said Ari Adler, spokesman for the Republican majority.

    How does that work exactly? Can the Majority Leader just bar anyone he wants to from speaking? I would have thought there were at least some protections for the democratic process.

    This just seems absurd.

    (Btw: I would disagree with “vagina” being the technically correct term in this case. They forced birthers want to control the uteruses (uteri?) of women)

  17. Btw: I would disagree with “vagina” being the technically correct term in this case. They forced birthers want to control the uteruses (uteri?) of women

    I dunno, I think they’re just as concerned about the sex-having (vaginas often involved) as the baby-having (uteri always involved.) So they really want to get their, um, hands on the vaginas too.

  18. We should play MadLibs, but all the words are “vagina.”

    “Today I vagina’d an important vagina. My vagina was so vagina that I vagina’d right out the door. I will never forget the day I vagina’d the vagina vaginas!”

  19. In my limited experience of childbirth, vaginas are always involved in baby-having. Even with C-sections. Just because the forced-birthers want to control the uteruses of people with uteruses doesn’t mean that they don’t also want to control the baby-having aspects of the vaginas of people with vaginas.

  21. So it’s fine for men to ban a lifesaving, health-protecting medical procedure for half the population, but women using medically correct terminology like “vagina” are obscene and unfit to speak? Next thing you know, they’ll tell us we shouldn’t say “uterus” because teens might hear. Oh, wait…

  23. In my limited experience of childbirth, vaginas are always involved in baby-having. Even with C-sections.

    Ok, moving totally OT now, but how is the vagina involved in a C-section delivery?

    @Bagelsan: Good point. Depressing but true.

  24. I agree with fanshawe upthread, the offensive bit must have been “I’m flattered that you’re all interested” How dare she!

  25. “It was so offensive, I don’t even want to say it in front of women. I would not say that in mixed company.”

    Shit bro, she just said “vagina”! I never want to be reminded of female anatomy!

  26. Rep. Mike Callton’s brain would undoubtedly melt if he walked in on “The Vagina Monologues.” And it would positively explode if he heard the word “clitoris.”

  27. Ok, moving totally OT now, but how is the vagina involved in a C-section delivery?

    Sometimes an uncooperative vagina necessitates a c-section. Well, an uncooperative cervix, actually.

    Also, as even if not involved in the birth, vaginas, if I’m not mistaken are almost always involved in conception.

  28. I’m going to mail him a picture of my cat with a note attached – Look at my furry pussy!

  29. I’m going to mail him a picture of my cat with a note attached – Look at my furry pussy!

    lmao

  30. Dude, your squeamishness does not equal objective offensiveness.

    And why is it that it’s more “offensive” to say vagina than to pass laws undermining the sovereignity over them of the people attached to them?

    You don’t want to hear about vaginas? Quit passing laws that affect vaginas.

  31. Well, at least that means they can’t pass a law requiring a transvaginal ultrasound prior to an abortion because it contains obscenities right? If someone tries to introduce it then voila…barred for obscenity. Because forced birthers are big on logic and consistency.

  32. Actually, I think the best part is where he specifically says it shouldn’t be said in front of women. Which implies that it’s ok for him to say it, as long as there are no women around, but that it would still be bad for a woman to say it when only women are around.

    This reminds me a lot of the art world from previous centuries, where women weren’t allowed to draw from life, male or female, because it would be “immodest” and “destructive to their innocence” to learn about what human bodies look like. There’s a portrait of the membership of the (IIRC) turn-of-the-century Royal College of Art, wherein the two women elected to membership are represented in the portrait as busts or relief sculptures, because the portrait was set in an artistic studio with naked statuary to draw from, and as women they weren’t supposed to even be in such a room; keeping them safely away from it was considered more important than portraying them as artists rather than objects d’art in the official members portrait of the organization to which they had at great difficulty achieved membership.

    It reminds me a lot of that.

  33. Actually, I think the best part is where he specifically says it shouldn’t be said in front of women. Which implies that it’s ok for him to say it, as long as there are no women around…

    With that said, I can only imagine the shit he talks about when he’s in an all-male company. *shudders*

  34. I’ll bet a whole lot of women would rather hear him say it than see him run this bill through.

  35. I’ll bet a whole lot of women would rather hear him say it than see him run this bill through.

  37. What boggles my mind is why evangelical Christians hate fundamentalist Muslims so much; they’re both patriarchal, authoritarian, and terrified of pussy (not to offend, I’ve just never liked the word vagina; seems too cold and technical a term for such a beautiful body part). There is an organized nationwide effort to take us back, not to 1972, but to 1919. I have yet to see President Obama or the Democratic party start firing back in earnest. This is an election year gift from heaven. The Republicans have no shot with African Americans. They’ve scared the hell out of Latinos. Now they want to piss off 51% of the electorate? Pres Obama must live right…

    Also, what happened to the First Amendment? I thought these teabagger types were all about being able to say anything to anyone, anywhere. I guess it’s just some words, too powerful to batter the ears of the serfs, that can’t be tolerated.

    In my opinion, any eligible person who doesn’t bother to get off their ass and vote this year is a fool. Yes, Obama is a politician, and the Lesser of Two Evils isn’t very inspiring, but the alternative is these clowns. I don’t even have a vagina, and they scare the shit out of me…

    Alan Grayson 2016

  38. Michigan lawmakers don’t want to say vag*na in front of women. These dudes obviously believe that only porn stars have vag*nas and that the rest of us are built like Barbie Dolls.
    I concur with jennygadget. Scully and Mulder need to be investigating these guys so we can send them back to their native planet. They simply are not assimilating well.

  39. From NPR: “Brown was not the only woman silenced on the floor today Rep. Barb Byrum was also not allowed to speak on the floor.

    “‘Byrum, D-Onondaga, caused a disturbance on the House floor Wednesday when she wasn’t allowed to introduce an amendment to the abortion regulations bill banning men from getting a vasectomy unless the sterilization procedure was necessary to save a man’s life,’ the DETROIT NEWS reports.”

    And it’s Bloomsday, in case anyone is interested?

  40. I dunno, I think they’re just as concerned about the sex-having (vaginas often involved) as the baby-having (uteri always involved.) So they really want to get their, um, hands on the vaginas too.

    Nooooooooooooo, Bagelsan, don’t you understand? Sex between married hetero couples is immaculate! The Bible says so. Not in actual words, but the interpretation is clear.

  41. I like that he wouldn’t say it in mixed company but presumably would have no problem chanting the word “vagina” over and over again to a bunch of men. Not only are ladies not fit to control our own vaginas, but we’re not even fit to hear about them–we might collapse on our fainting couches or something.

  42. Speaker Pro Tem John Walsh, R-Livonia, gaveled Brown out of order for saying “no means no” — because it suggested Brown was comparing the abortion legislation to rape, House GOP spokesman Ari Adler said.

    “It has nothing to do with the word vagina,” Adler said.

    In other words, how dare that irrational, oversensitive, shrill woman compare a law that robs people with uteri of their sexual and reproductive autonomy with an assault that robs people of their sexual and reproductive autonomy?

  44. Sometimes I wonder what the nightmares of men like this entail–and then I remember the movie Prometheus, and I realize they’re just like that: scary, alien vaginas all over the place trying to kill you! Help!

  45. because it suggested Brown was comparing the abortion legislation to rape, House GOP spokesman Ari Adler said.

    …yes, that was the point she was making. How is that more offensive than the legislation itself?

    These goddamn misogynists aren’t even pretending any more. They’re not going to argue with the point that taking control of a woman’s vagina and uterus is akin to rape, because they know it is. They’re just going to prevent us from speaking that particular truth. Because it makes them look bad. And who cares what a bunch of women say, anyway? They don’t know what they want or what’s good for them, right? Whaddaya mean, that sounds like rape? Shut up!

    And again, he wouldn’t discuss rape in mixed company? Because…what, women can’t handle talking about it?

  46. In other words, how dare that irrational, oversensitive, shrill woman compare a law that robs people with uteri of their sexual and reproductive autonomy with an assault that robs people of their sexual and reproductive autonomy?

    g_v, what KILLS me is that this was what occurred to them as damage control.

  47. I’m curious about the political implications of Brown being banned from debate. She was elected by her constituents for the purpose of representing them, which includes discussing proposed bills that would affect them. She now is being prevented from doing that because of an “offense” that most reasonable people consider ridiculous. I’d like to know the feelings of the people of West Bloomfield on that, particularly the women.

    Not to mention the educators in her district, since she also was barred from speaking on a bill about educators’ retirement packages (and she’s the vice chair of the education committee).

  48. And it would positively explode if he heard the word “clitoris.”

    Lol, like he even knows what a clitoris is!

  50. Speaker Pro Tem John Walsh, R-Livonia, gaveled Brown out of order for saying “no means no” — because it suggested Brown was comparing the abortion legislation to rape, House GOP spokesman Ari Adler said.

    “It has nothing to do with the word vagina,” Adler said.

    That was weak.

    If this is true: How come multiple Republican lawmakers as well as Brown herself thought it was about the word “vagina”.

  51. I don’t believe for one second that he was talking about her “no means no” comment.

  52. “I don’t believe for one second that he was talking about her “no means no” comment.”

    Agreed.

    I am also trying to figure out how punishing someone for speaking an opinion is actually better that punishing them from saying a specific word.

  53. Speaker Pro Tem John Walsh, R-Livonia, gaveled Brown out of order for saying “no means no” — because it suggested Brown was comparing the abortion legislation to rape, House GOP spokesman Ari Adler said.

    “It has nothing to do with the word vagina,” Adler said.

    What a terrible way to hide gynophobia.

  54. @ Angie unduplicated

    I just checked, and it is all Barbie parts “down there.”
    Which reminds me, i’m about 7 years late writing my thank-you letter to the stork for delivering me a healthy baby boy (immaculately concieved, obviously).

  55. Also, take a look at what he said earlier:
    “What she said was offensive. It was so offensive, I don’t even want to say it in front of women. I would not say that in mixed company.”

    Why in the world would he regard the phrase “no means no” as especially offensive when said in front of women, even if he thought that it implied a comparison between rape and abortion? Not that anyone needed more evidence that he’s a squeamish idiot.

  58. I think it might be more about the part where she invoked rape (no means no) than the word “vagina” itself.

    This always pisses me off–when S.E. Cupp was photoshopped into that HORRIFIC PICTURE by Hustler, conservatives had no problem calling it DIGITAL RAPE.

    But I suppose this isn’t LEGISLATIVE RAPE?

    The hypocritical inconsistencies are stunning.

    They also had no problem saying that Herman Cain was enduring a “high tech lynching.” I would hope no white person on the left would say something so disastrously appropriative, but if they did, can you imagine how outraged conservatives would be? “EVERYTHING is racist nowadays, just like EVERYTHING is rape.”

  59. What did she expect? She should know her audience. When did a male republican in that state step up front throwing around words like penis and anus. I am pretty sure this will not be published for containing the word penis.

  60. When did a male republican in that state step up front throwing around words like penis and anus.

    And if the legislature had been debating a bill regulating what men do with their penises, that would be relevant.

  61. When did a male republican in that state step up front throwing around words like penis and anus.

    Oh, I don’t know, every time the homophobes get to discussing what consenting gay people do in the bedroom?

  62. She is now officially my favorite person in the world. She’ll be participating in a production of The Vagina Monologues on the capitol steps. Love it.

    Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’ve heard that The Vagina Monologues is misandric and anti-heterosexual and presents sexual abuse in a positive light. So I can’t say that I’m as enthusiastic as you.

  63. “And if the legislature had been debating a bill regulating what men do with their penises, that would be relevant.”

    But this wasnt about regulating womens vaginas either, despite the claims of the abortionists. It was about facilities that provide abortion. So they are being dishonest too in saying Politicians are trying to regulate a womans vagina.

  64. the abortionists

    …Now I’m sure you’re a troll.

    It was about facilities that provide abortion. So they are being dishonest too in saying Politicians are trying to regulate a womans vagina.

    Where do you think they put the fucking wand?

  65. But this wasnt about regulating womens vaginas either, despite the claims of the abortionists.

    So, they’re trying to force a woman to endure a process of extreme pain and significant danger to herself by pushing an on-average 8-pound infant out through her vagina, but these regulations have nothing to do with vaginas? Try again.

  66. I am pretty sure this will not be published for containing the word penis.

    looks like that wasn’t the only thing you were wrong about, huh?

    oops.

  67. Yeah, that cracked me up too, Pheeno. “Oh no! The word ‘penis’! Everybody knows that just the all-powerful word ‘penis’ makes feminists shrivel up and die! Don’t let it through! My eyes!”

  68. So they are being dishonest too in saying Politicians are trying to regulate a womans vagina.

    Wait, you guys, Karin’s right! They’re not declaring that you can’t have a 32-ounce vagina in restaurants anymore!

  69. Yeah, that cracked me up too, Pheeno. “Oh no! The word ‘penis’! Everybody knows that just the all-powerful word ‘penis’ makes feminists shrivel up and die! Don’t let it through! My eyes!”

    Yep. And then wouldn’t we just be the hypocrites? Because not allowing the P word on a message board is exactly like throwing an elected representative out of a bill debate!

  70. Well, Feministe is always passing enforceable legislation determining what men can and can’t do with their penises. Power, it is ours.

  71. When did a male republican in that state step up front throwing around words like penis and anus.

    And if the legislature had been debating a bill regulating what men do with their penises, that would be relevant.

    It would also be relevant if they were describing Rep. Mike Callton, (R-Nashville.) He appears to be a total penis with his head up his anus.

  72. What did she expect? She should know her audience. When did a male republican in that state step up front throwing around words like penis and anus. I am pretty sure this will not be published for containing the word penis.

    Oh, she probably expected this. That doesn’t make it right though.

    And a worthwhile question might also be: Didn’t *they* expect this?

    And no, we don’t hear “penis” nearly enough in debates about abortion. That’s how we know it’s not about the “unborn child” in the least. If these legislators were as horrified by abortion as they claim, they would be taking equal strides against all the dudes that have gotten women pregnant. Last time I checked, you need a penis somewhere in the pregnancy pipeline.

  73. Where do you think they put the fucking wand?

    Do you not access the uterus via the bellybutton? O_O

  74. And a worthwhile question might also be: Didn’t *they* expect this?

    Well, no. Men have genitalia. Women have whispermutterYOUKNOWs. Babies come out of shhhthosethings.

  75. @Q Grrl: indeed, Barb Byrum was silenced for doing exactly that, trying to bring forth an amendment that would subject vasectomies to the same standards they wish to impose upon abortions.

    I’m surprised Rashida Tlaib wasn’t subjected to similar treatment for suggesting the Lysistrata option.

  76. @auditory damage—–

    my ancient history is very rusty—-wasnt lysistrata the greek matriarch who organized a “pussy strike” to get the men to call off a war or something? if so, this actually follows the patriarchal script to a T and that’s why rashida talib wasnt censured with the others—-cause, ya-know, prim and proper ladies are SUPPOSED to use sex as a bargaining chip—cause its not like we actually ENJOY it or anything—-

    i was admonished as a teenage girl by older women to do exactly that—at the time it was ferociously annoying, but i kinda get it now—its a half-assed, pathetic and ineffective strategy to try and right a very real power imbalance

  77. its a half-assed, pathetic and ineffective strategy to try and right a very real power imbalance

    Basically, yes. If you’re reduced to a walking vagina the only weapon you have is to walk said vagina away… and that’s a sad state of affairs.

  78. @bagelsan—-

    yes it is a very sad state of affairs that a “pussy strike” is the only weapon many women have—-especially in light of the fact that its so easy for men to “cross the picket line” , so to speak

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