In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

The Best Thing You Saw Today

Jill

I’m in Jamaica for my college roommate’s wedding, and walking back from dinner tonight I came across a giant turtle on the beach, about 10 feet from the water, digging a big hole and attempting to lay eggs. She eyed me warily, but I kept my distance, and she kept digging. Ten or fifteen minutes later, a young couple came walking up — he had a cigarette in his hand and despite being at least 30 looked like he should be pledging a frat at a Southern California college and, excuse my judgmentalism, looked like a Class A Juicebox. They saw the turtle, and the Juicebox immediately got too close and freaked her out; she started retreating to the water before the eggs could be laid. He decided the best course of action was to block her path, to “make” her go back to her hole and lay eggs. When that clearly wasn’t happening and she was trying to get around him, he started posing for photos — putting a hand on her back, holding up his cigarette, etc (also yelling, “Did he lay eggs or not?!”). Not really my business, but being a loud-mouth I repeatedly yelled at him, “DUDE. STOP IT. JUST LET HER GO.” He of course ignored me, and his wife (though giggles of “ok enough leave the turtle alone!”) snapped pictures. I yelled at him to let her go a few more times, but homeboy did not give a shit. Eventually, after trying to pick her up and failing, he got bored and left.

Point being, I sort of hate humanity at this particular second, even though Jamaica is ridiculously beautiful — only because what started out as a really incredible moment quickly soured. So tell me, what good things have you seen today?

93 thoughts on The Best Thing You Saw Today

  1. Oh, a guy I have never seen before saw me struggling to “borrow” a few moving boxes from work and ran to help me through the revolving door.

    Another guy offered to help me “borrow” two extra boxes.

    Both were very kind and helping me out immensely. I’m very appreciative today.

    I’m sorry that turned poopy, but Jamaica must be beautiful! Maybe it’ll help to start thinking about the wedding? That guy was a complete dickhead.

  2. One of my favorite days, my college’s commencement. I got to congratulate students I’ve seen through years of coursework after they crossed the stage and we all applauded them; I got to meet their families and talk about how smart and wonderful they were; they wanted to take photos with me; I got to tell them that they should now officially call me by my first name.

    One student even brought me a present and a hand-written thank-you card that literally brought tears to my eyes. Lovely, lovely day.

  3. Well Summer in NYC does not bring out the best in humanity, but I met a cool cat today! He was lying on the sidewalk by my building and promptly rolled over to show me his belly. And that’s when I saw his tag was emblazoned with “Mr. Kittens.” So I made a big embarrassing fuss over Mr. Kittens replete with awwwing until I realized that his owner was staring at me with amusement. I introduced myself and reassured him that I am allergic to cats and therefore not at risk to catknapping (cat-napping, yes.)

    I will try to sneak a photo of Mr. Kittens in the future.

  4. Two astonishingly blue bluebirds in as many days.

    Also a week ago, three huge sphinx moths fluttering around my backyard like small hummingbirds (all at once, which is why I know there were three).

  6. I was watching my niece who was being suspiciously quiet while I did dishes. So I went to check on her and she had a large hard cover book of mine on her lap and she was “reading” aloud to one of her babies. I asked her what she was up to and she told me, “Reading to baby, the book has no pictures because I am a Big Girl like you and mommy.” Then she told me an extremely convoluted story about being a ninja who killed a dragon. I laughed till it hurt and got stink-eye because it was supposed to be a serious moment.

  7. I was volunteering at a Truth and Reconciliation Commission conference today and I saw some amazing Indigenous dancers in full regalia (Fancy Shawl, Jingle Dress, Northern Traditional and Fancy Dance) and then during the Métis fiddler’s performance, a really, really old man got up and did an impromptu jig. Despite the somber nature of the gathering (residential schools and preparation for the testimonials of some survivors) the mood was so light and joyous because of the performances.

  10. A dear friend kicked her abusive husband out of their house today. Best thing I saw this YEAR.

  12. Go Kristen J’s friend!

    Good day today for us. The elder spawn graduated middle school (with achievement certificates in math and science), and the younger spawn graduated elementary school with a President’s Academic Excellence Award (he was the only person there surprised when they called his name. It was so cute!).

  13. This is the best thing I’ve seen this week:

    A little boy was visiting President Obama with his family and had the chance to ask him one question.

    —
    “I want to know if my hair is just like yours,” he told Mr. Obama, so quietly that the president asked him to speak again.

    Jacob did, and Mr. Obama replied, “Why don’t you touch it and see for yourself?” He lowered his head, level with Jacob, who hesitated.

    “Touch it, dude!” Mr. Obama said.

    “So, what do you think?” Mr. Obama asked.

    “Yes, it does feel the same,” Jacob said.
    —

    http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/24/us/politics/indelible-image-of-a-boys-pat-on-obamas-head-hangs-in-white-house.html

  14. If it makes you feel better our hotel in Cancun shut the lights off and passed buckets out to the guests to cart baby turtles to the ocean during their hatch out years ago (not today, but still cool). (otherwise they get confused by the lights and wander around the beach until eaten by sea birds in the morning). Momma turtle will be fine, she’ll lay her eggs tomorrow and possibly over a few more days – they tend to make multiple clutches so go back tommorrow night to watch discretely. http://www.seaworld.org/infobooks/seaturtle/strepro.html

  15. If you’re looking for fun wildlife things 🙂
    In the past week, in various places, either driving home at night or running in the park, I’ve seen a stag, two does, a fox, lots of bunnies and cardinals, a woodpecker, a goldfinch, and other cute birdies I don’t recognize but have colorful heads – Each sighting brightens my day a bit.

    To restore your faith in humanity a bit, a large family of geese was crossing the road and all three lanes of traffic just waited patiently for them to pass and no one honked 🙂

  16. Nothing I saw, but two good things I heard. First, my son called me from Chicago late today to let me know that he turned in his last paper at 5 pm, and he’s done: four years of college, finished. I don’t think either of us can quite believe it. (Me, in part, because his high school graduation kind of feels like it just happened!) Now he can relax until graduation a week from Saturday; I’ll be going out there next Thursday, and when I see him — for the first time since March — that will be the best sight anyone can see!

    The second good thing I heard today was — sound. Because for the last two weeks I’d had an almost complete loss of hearing in both ears; it had gotten to the point the last few days that even if someone was standing directly in front of me, three feet away, I couldn’t hear a word unless they practically shouted. (Not that it’s a big deal, but I couldn’t watch TV, either; I couldn’t hear anything even with the sound turned all the way up.) I found it all very disorienting and demoralizing. So when I got my hearing back this afternoon, and suddenly started hearing all the inconsequential noises of the world around me — air conditioning humming, people’s footsteps, doors closing, traffic noises outside — it felt rather miraculous.

  17. I was hanging out with some friends in my college food co-op when an alum from fifteen years ago showed up with his wife and toddler son (reunions are happening at my college). He told us a little about life in the co-op in his days – we have an old and out-of-tune piano in our basement, and he told us apparently it was acquired, with much effort, in his years! – and we updated him on the more recent goings-on (e.g. we got a trampoline) I made his wife tea and their son climbed all over one of our tables. He seemed so happy to see the co-op was still running as before. 🙂 And in a couple days we’re having a big co-op reunion, so we’ll get to meet a lot of awesome people from its early days. I can’t wait.

  18. So when I got my hearing back this afternoon, and suddenly started hearing all the inconsequential noises of the world around me — air conditioning humming, people’s footsteps, doors closing, traffic noises outside — it felt rather miraculous.

    !! That’s great. I’m very pleased for you.

    @Jadey,

    I know! I’m so excited. She’s still ambivalent about divorcing the shitbag, but at least she’s decided that she needs to take some time and space for herself. Woohoo!!

  19. I’ve been seeing a lot of beautiful things lately, seeing as a week ago I moved back home to Portland, Oregon after two years of self-imposed exile in Austin, Texas. Plants! Water! Wild berries! So many flowers! I almost forgot such things existed. I kinda feel as though I stumbled into the Garden of Eden.

    Today I was on the internet looking up gender therapists in the Portland area, and I found some I liked a lot. I scheduled an appointment with one woman for next Tuesday. She works out of a shared office with other folks who provide what they all call “socially conscious counseling for the whole community.” Which sounds pretty badass.

    I told her I was looking for someone to write me a letter for hormone therapy, and she said that it normally takes her two sessions to evaluate someone before she writes the letter, but that she has never not written a letter for someone who’s wanted one. So hopefully I’ll be starting estrogen and an anti-androgen within the next month or so. Pretty excited about that! 😀

  20. Best thing I saw today was on my bus ride home. I was in Seattle, riding the bus down 3rd ave, and a woman was just dancing and singing at a crowded bus stop. She looked like she was just having fun. We made eye contact and I grinned and she smiled and pointed her fingers at me in that tacky, dancey, “I’m lookin’ at you” sort of way. Totally random and happy, after a really crappy day in Seattle yesterday.

  21. Oh for the love of. My blood pressure skyrocketed just reading that. As a nature and animal lover, I seriously would have bodyslammed the douche.

    Well, this was about a week ago, but I saw a slug that was so large and beautifully patterned that I momentarily thought it was a snake and got all excited.

    We don’t get much nature here in the city, lol.

  22. Lizards! Lots and lots and lots of lizards. Also swallows hawking for bugs in the air and more turkey vultures than you can shake a stick at. Spent the afternoon on BLM land with my dog, getting lost and trying to figure out how to use a compass, heh. I have ambitions of becoming a mountain woman and navigating by the stars alone, but first I need to learn how to read a topographical map!

  23. Ahh, yes.
    Jamaica, sun, fun, sand, reggae and all that, great island.

    If I didn’t mind rampant homophobia and anti gay laws, I’d even go there myself one day.

    But it’s all fine obviously, as long as the turtles are ok.

  24. Jill is always somewhere. Sometimes I wake up and wonder, “I wonder where Jill is today.” Okay, no not really, that would be creepy. But seriously. xD

  25. One summer my best friend went to China and forgot to tell me. She called me every day per usual the month she was there. And then around the 15th she was like, “OH I forgot to mention I’m in China.”

  28. Ducklings!

    Becca, congratulations on your return home, and on finding someone to see. I

  29. Jill, the best thing about this post of yours is that the responses to it remind me of a truth I discovered years ago and sometimes forget. The antidote to being disgusted by humanity is to spend time with animals, children and/or nature. Sorry that your nature moment was impeded, but it is true, she will lay her eggs another day. It’s the procreative imperative!

  30. Jill is always somewhere. Sometimes I wake up and wonder, “I wonder where Jill is today.” Okay, no not really, that would be creepy. But seriously. xD

    Well she sneaks around the world from New York to Jamaica,
    She’s a blogging feminist from Berlin down to Belize,
    She’ll take you for a ride on a slow boat to China,
    Tell me where in the world is Jill from Feministe?

  31. Delurking to share the best thing I’ve seen this week: this video of people taking to the streets of Montreal for a “manif casseroles” (casserole or pots and pans protest)

    http://vimeo.com/42848523

    Context: Students in Quebec have been protesting tuition increases for over three months. The students stopped going to classes and went on strike. This strike is often referred to as “Printemps D’Erable” or “Maple Spring.” It’s part of a larger conversation about accessible education, privatizing public services, and shifting financial burdens without allowing for public debate. The provincial government imposed a new law (Bill 78) that makes it harder to protest – even going so far as to make it an offense for anyone to voice support for student protesters. (I read a news report that one man was arrested in his apartment after calling out his support to protesters from his balcony.) The law goes against several freedoms guaranteed in the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms: freedom of expression, freedom of association, freedom of assembly. This new law galvanized public support for the strike. Inspired by Chileans struggling to express dissent under Pinoche, there was a call for people to bang their pots and pans from their balconies for 15 minutes every evening. For hours every evening since, people have flooded the streets of Montreal and elsewhere in Quebec for these “manif casseroles” or casserole/pots and pans protests. These protests are both in support of the students and against Bill 78 – asserting that they will not be silenced. My friends in Montreal tell me stories of people of all ages walking the streets from one neighbourhood to the next with their casseroles, picking up protesters all along the way. In an often apathetic country, this video gives me hope for humanity. The first time I saw this video, I got a bit misty-eyed when I saw the people leaning out their apartment windows with pots and pans of their own.

    tl;dr – seeing a large part of the population politically engaged makes me happy

  32. Well she sneaks around the world from New York to Jamaica,
    She’s a blogging feminist from Berlin down to Belize,
    She’ll take you for a ride on a slow boat to China,
    Tell me where in the world is Jill from Feministe?

    I’ve never been to China 🙂

    (And yes I am extremely lucky that I have been able to travel so extensively).

  33. Ahh, yes.
    Jamaica, sun, fun, sand, reggae and all that, great island.

    If I didn’t mind rampant homophobia and anti gay laws, I’d even go there myself one day.

    But it’s all fine obviously, as long as the turtles are ok.

    I, too, consider the ideological purity of everywhere I go. That’s why I haven’t left my apartment since 2002. I don’t even go into the kitchen, because I’m pretty sure my microwave hates Swedes.

  34. Walking past the hospital cafeteria when a man and (I’m assuming) his two daughters, maybe four and eight, were coming out. The older girl was holding a little box of chocolate cake and saying, “I like this place. They’re so nice and kindhearted. It’s like a prison of love.” I’m still cracking up about it.

  35. I was in Crete recently and while there, we literally ended up driving through a cloud. This cloud came down and settled in between these two mountains in the middle of the island, and we drove through it – it was damp and ghostly looking, and we were surrounded by grass that had not yet turned yellow and baby lambs that were lying by the side of the road and cuddling with their mothers. Some of them had little bells that rang very gently. The sun above looked like a big, pale lemon. The air smelled like wildflowers and… cloud. It was like stepping sideways into a parallel universe for a while. I forgot everything – including my stressful day-to-day existence in Moscow.

  36. Ahh, yes.
    Jamaica, sun, fun, sand, reggae and all that, great island.

    If I didn’t mind rampant homophobia and anti gay laws, I’d even go there myself one day.

    But it’s all fine obviously, as long as the turtles are ok.

    So I assume that wherever it is you live – homophobia simply doesn’t exist, ditto for racism, classism, sexism, pollution, child abuse, domestic violence, poverty, and other terrifying realities most of us encounter on a regular basis.

    Come to think of it – what’s your address? Can I move there?

  37. The mimosas are in bloom everywhere here, and the air is perfumed. My small flower-bed garden behind the dumpster has green tomatoes and banana peppers, and the squash is blossoming.
    Knoxnews.com has a photo of an albino robin. We have rumors of an albino skunk, but I have no plans to search for the critter.

  38. I saw a falcon flying over Riverside Park in New York yesterday. A pair live in the tall church tower near Columbia University. Not long ago I saw one of them perched in a tree and pointed it out to some kids. They were excited but nonetheless just stood respectfully and looked at it.

    Speaking of Kristen J’s friend (yay for her!) I also had a friend to stay all week who has had several past abusive relationships, and is now wildly in love with a kind, good man who adores her. That was pretty awesome to see.

  39. An adorable rat has recently moved into our backyard; it comes out in the evening to eat our birdseed and we watch it with our bird-watching binoculars. It is so cute. 😀

  40. I don’t think that refusing to go to Jamaica for one’s college roommate’s wedding is a requirement for being considered an ally to LGBT people. I very much doubt that Jill had anything to do with choosing the venue.

    Had she chosen Jamaica as a vacation destination herself? I’d probably raise an eyebrow. But that’s about it.

    Personally, I would never go to Jamaica under any circumstances. There aren’t *that* many countries I feel that way about, but Jamaica is one of them. And I’d lie down on the airplane runway to prevent my son from going. He wouldn’t do very well at passing as a straight guy, and has no interest in attempting to do so.

    1. I don’t think that refusing to go to Jamaica for one’s college roommate’s wedding is a requirement for being considered an ally to LGBT people. I very much doubt that Jill had anything to do with choosing the venue.

      I had nothing to do with choosing the venue for the wedding. The couple chose the venue because the groom’s family is from Jamaica. (And for what it’s worth, there are gay folks attending the wedding).

      And I’m not trying to ignore Jamaica’s serious problems with homophobia and anti-LGBT violence. Those are very serious problems — serious enough that LGBT Jamaicans are able to petition for (and often get) asylum in places like the U.S. and Canada, because being openly gay in Jamaica is a risk to one’s life. As others have pointed out, though, it’s pretty difficult to find a country that doesn’t have a serious human rights issue — I mean, I live in the U.S., and we earned our own Amnesty International report for our zealous use of the death penalty (we’re one of the only countries that still employs it, and human rights advocates around the world pretty much agree that sentencing people to death is cruel and ass-backwards and a major human rights violation; couple that with the fact that the American use of the death penalty is incredibly racist and, well, you have a HUGE human rights issue). See also: Torture of prisoners; extrajudicial killings; imprisonment without trial; assassinations of citizens abroad.

      I don’t say that to downplay the horrible situation in Jamaica; I do say it to argue that there are only a handful of places in the world that you can travel if you want to avoid countries where there are human rights abuses. You definitely can’t go to the U.S. if that’s your standard. You can maybe do Sweden, Norway, Belgium, Luxembourg, and Slovenia. Jamaica is particularly bad on the LGBT issue; other countries are particularly bad when it comes to violence against women, or sexual assault, or child marriage, or treatment of ethnic minorities, or freedom of dissent and political speech. That said, personal safety is paramount, and I can understand the anger/frustration with knowing that the reason someone like me can come to Jamaica in relative safety is because I’m not gay (and particularly not a gay man). I’ve felt that same frustration when traveling with men, particularly in the Middle East — there were places I just couldn’t go and thinks I simply could not do, either because it was wildly unsafe (although honestly that usually wasn’t much of a disincentive for me) or because I was actually barred from going. I got treated very poorly many times over, while my male companion was treated with respect; I had a male companion complain to me that being with me was a burden, because he wasn’t able to move as freely. That was an enraging and awful conversation, and an over-all terrible feeling. So I just want to be clear that I do respect and understand the view of, “You are able to go to this place by virtue of being in a wildly privileged position, that me / my son / my friend / x person will never be able to have simply because of who they are. So, fuck you, a little bit, for acting on that when others can’t.” (Donna and others, I know no one said “fuck you,” but that’s how I personally felt when I was on the other side of this).

      Would I have chosen Jamaica on my own as a vacation destination? Probably not. Do I believe in ethical traveling, and spending your tourist dollars in places that aren’t abusive to vulnerable communities? Yes. Do I also think there’s value in seeing the world, including places where the government is oppressive or minority groups aren’t protected or terrible things happen? Yeah, I do. I wouldn’t do an all-inclusive resort trip to those places, holed away from reality and refusing to interact with anyone except service people, getting to conveniently ignore what’s just around the corner from the walled-off vacation site; that’s not really my style of travel (and yes, I do think there are some ethical issues with enjoying a totally sanitized version of a place, which is why I usually avoid that where possible). But I would go to the most oppressive places on the planet if the opportunity arose, and if I actually got to see the place. There are very few places in the world where I would absolutely refuse to go (and I say “very few” to give myself an out — in truth, I can’t think of one single place I would refuse a trip to). And to be honest, I’ve gone to lots of places that I am sure others find troubling because of human rights abuses — Turkey, Egypt, Tunisia, Mexico, Serbia, Kosovo. I understand others may feel differently and would never travel to Jamaica or any of those places, and I respect that. I understand that while human rights abuses aren’t a hierarchy, sometimes we categorize particular ones as “worse” for us personally — we all draw lines, and some people may feel fine traveling to the U.S. despite our prison system / death penalty / torture / extra-judicial killings, or be ok going to Mexico despite mass murders of women and few protections for domestic violence and brutal drug wars and gang violence, but draw the line at traveling to a place like Jamaica where sex between two men is criminalized and LGBT people face vigilante torture and death, and are not accorded protection from police or the government. I can even understand thinking that anyone who goes to countries with abusive human rights records is doing a morally/ethically wrong thing. I respect that view too. I just don’t agree with it, at least not in its entirety.

  41. I have my garden planted and there are bunnies in my backyard. Unfortunately, those bunnies seem to have greatly enjoyed my strawberries before I got any for myself, but I’ll (mostly) forgive them, because cute baby bunnies.

    And my mom is getting my almost 7 year old son a green purse for his birthday later this month, just because he wants one. Score one for Grandma getting over the gender policing (still working on the husband, though–he’s okay with sparkly green nail polish, but the idea of his son carrying a purse is a little tough for him).

  42. So I assume that wherever it is you live – homophobia simply doesn’t exist, ditto for racism, classism, sexism, pollution, child abuse, domestic violence, poverty, and other terrifying realities most of us encounter on a regular basis.

    Come to think of it – what’s your address? Can I move there?

    Okay, for the record, there is serious homophobic violence happening in Jamaica, which is more extreme than many other places (though it’s hardly unique in the world). I actually want to visit there for personal reasons (family connections and some friends), but I won’t be until there’s a definitive turnaround.

    I don’t think it’s wrong for other people to visit there. And, as I said, I have friends and family from there. But it’s not unreasonable to comment on this social issue or point out that Jamaica has an especially bad track record with it.

  43. The day is still young here on the west coast, but the best thing I’ve seen so far is my daughter asleep in her bed on the morning she’s moving into town 15 miles away.

    Granted, she’s a junior at a college 3000 miles away, so moving in and out is not that new a thing, but she’ll be living with friends in town for the summer with access to a more spontaneous social life rather than out here in the country, and I’m very excited for her. I’m looking forward to visits between my house/her house, one of those important mileposts on the road to being a fully autonomous happy adult.

  45. If yesterday counts, then it was 4 little girls passing out drinks from their lemonade stand to the casserole protesters.

  46. Ahh, yes.
    Jamaica, sun, fun, sand, reggae and all that, great island.

    If I didn’t mind rampant homophobia and anti gay laws, I’d even go there myself one day.

    But it’s all fine obviously, as long as the turtles are ok.

    Ahhh yes…All of the stereotypes about us summed up in 2 sentences. Your ‘not from the place, know nothing about the place but I read this article one time’ colonialist privilege is showing

  47. Someone who works on the floor above me held the door for me as I walked in, and asked how I was. Nothing huge, but I woke up on the wrong side of the bed and it made me feel better about humanity.

  48. The guy I’m seeing took me out for falafel sandwiches and took me to the South Street Seaport which is a place I have never been then held my hand while we walked to the ferry. Then on the ferry when some jerk expressed, out loud, his disgust that the “future of America” was a “pretty girl in a skirt kissing a Mexican” and I got upset he kissed me and told me that he was glad we’re the future of this country because he’s just happy to be with me.

    I guess that’s not exactly a thing I saw but it was a thing that made me very happy.

  49. Becca, congratulations on your return home, and on finding someone to see.

    Thanks Donna! Congratulations on your son’s graduation and on your restored hearing. That must have been really alarming to feel like you were maybe going deaf, and such a relief that you’re not!

  50. My dog barked last night.

    Yes, not all that odd or special, but in context in means quite a lot. Camote was found hiding under the trash next to a seafood restaurant when she was about 6-8 months old. She’s part Peruvian hairless dog, part Terrier, and part who-knows-what-else street dog. Her back left leg is shorter than her right–it hovers about half an inch above the ground when she’s standing still–because her hip was broke when she was a pup. The vet thinks someone either kicked or hit her with something.

    We’ve had her for about 4 months, and not a peep. The process of gaining her trust has been full of ups and downs; however, last night she barked the softest squeakiest bark ever while playing with my partner. We acted like it was Lassie telling us somebody was in well, we were so excited.

  52. I saw a shop with a Big Lebowski theme on MacDougal St. Didn’t go in, nor will I probably ever, but it’s nice to know it’s there.

  54. I got my student evaluations for a one-off adult continuing education course I did back in April. They were overwhelmingly positive, and my favorite ego-boosting comment said that I was “very articulate and knowledgeable.” Made my day.

  55. Tonight I skipped two things I usually always do: I didn’t get on my elliptical machine, and I didn’t light my Shabbos candles. Things I did that I rarely do: I fed, watched, played Wii Lego Star Wars with, read to, cuddled and tucked in a little redheaded boy that I have known since he was born, while his parents were at a Church function. I walked under the stars with my wife, talking about the baby we are going to have someday and the friends who are coming to visit this summer. We walked from Notre-Dame-De-Grace, past Vendome, under the stone arch, over the railroad tracks and all the way down Courcel, to our home. The wind kept tossing the leaves on the trees and blowing tiny drips of rain on our foreheads, but the storm hasn’t come yet. It will, though. They are promising at least 20 mm tomorrow in Montreal.

  56. Okay, for the record, there is serious homophobic violence happening in Jamaica, which is more extreme than many other places (though it’s hardly unique in the world). I actually want to visit there for personal reasons (family connections and some friends), but I won’t be until there’s a definitive turnaround.

    I wouldn’t want to gloss over that at all, and that is not my intention. My point is – most of us live in glass houses in one respect or another.

  57. Tom & Natalia-.yeah seriously, . I mean being worried about being murdered is sooo pathetic

    Stupid crybaby gays, always harshing everyone’s buzz by pointing out that some people would gleefully stab/shoot/beat us to death for
    merely existing

    Shaunee , you denying there’s a problem? Sounds like straight privilege to me..

    But what do I know? It’s not like anyone in the UK is Jamaican. Those non-existent Jamaicans certainly aren’t ever gay or trans, and calling mental health helplines for LGBT people. They definitely don’t have PTSD from fleeing their homes, getting death threats, being beaten or experiencing corrective rape, and losing friends to mob violence.

    Silly attention-seeking fake Jamaicans. You tell them!

    The best thing I saw today was the news that no-one in the world will supply America’s prison industrial complex with lethal injection drugs. The U.S. is, of course, stamping its boots and threatening legal action because they’ve had to stop executing people.

    /tears

    Poor PIC. Who will kill those POC now? What will act as a murder deterrent if executions are suspended?

    Oh, wait…

  58. But I don’t think there is anything stressful or indeed unpleasant about the possibility of being murdered! You have cunningly found me out.

  59. I went camping up by Loch Lomond in last week’s incredible sunshine, and had several lovely swims right out into it on my own. Gorgeous. Then had to text my brother – “the awkward moment when the people you’re with realise you prefer being in the water in their company, or alcohol”. I come from a family of seals.

    @54 – Uhm, not to sound like a one-track record, but Iceland isn’t a utopia for sex workers …

  60. Hey, Partial Human, you wouldn’t have a link for that news would you? I did a quick google trawl but couldn’t find anything particularly recent.

  61. GSW – I’m convinced I’m half otter, and half Labrador. Swirling and streaking through water is pure freedom to me

    . I once went for a “quick swim” when I was in Rhodes. When I got back my mother was frantic. Apparently I’d been gone for three hours! It was just so warm, I was following colourful fish, looking at underwater ruins, and just feeling so connected to. the world.

    One day I’ll swim in the sea again.

  64. I find most religious weddings problematic enough even without regard to destination, although fortunately time constraints make it virtually impossible for me to attend anyway, thus no hurt feelings. But clearly there’s not going to be a universal standard, which is fine.

    1. I find most religious weddings problematic enough even without regard to destination, although fortunately time constraints make it virtually impossible for me to attend anyway, thus no hurt feelings. But clearly there’s not going to be a universal standard, which is fine.

      Who said the wedding was religious?

      And man, what is this, “Take a relatively benign post and dig around for SOMETHING to criticize” day? I often joke that there’s literally nothing I can put up on this site that doesn’t result in someone “taking issue” (see, e.g., hats), but man. Here I thought people were going to be mad because I didn’t put sufficient efforts into protecting the turtle. Instead it’s that I’m at a wedding, and the wedding might be religious, and religious weddings are “problematic.” Good grief.

  65. Jill, I can’t believe you would hold up this turtle, who is clearly bowing to heteronormative and patriarchal pressures to reproduce, as worthy of defense.

    Problematic.

  67. In happy turtle news, my daughter’s friend helped a large snapper across a busy road this morning.

  68. Here I thought people were going to be mad because I didn’t put sufficient efforts into protecting the turtle.

    I thought you would get criticism straight away for mentioning an overseas vacation–must be nice being able to fly off to sunny Jamaica, some of us can only afford a trip to the next state over, etc. And then a response: must be nice having the privilege to travel out of state; I haven’t left my town for ten years. And then: check your American privilege! Some of us don’t live in states! We have provinces!

  69. But Jill, was the sea turtle wearing a mitre while on her way to your friend’s religious wedding? Because I’m sorry, but that is truly problematic.

  71. Jill, I think you are being awfully speciecist and not recognizing the circle of life by trying to protect that sea turtle, instead of letting nature take its course and have it be harassed by some dickhead with a cigarette. Who, as we all know, are the natural predators of giant sea turtles, and he was probably only trying to cull the weak and the aged. So your actions? PROBLEMATIC.

  72. The light in my two month old daughter’s eye when she laughs and ‘talks’ to me or anyone else who will listen.

  73. The light in my two month old daughter’s eyes when she laughs and ‘talks’ to me or anyone else who will listen.

  74. Yesterday, my mother visited me, and brought me my favorite foods. We’ve had some real issues, and as I stood in my kitchen, holding my favorite brand of tortellini in one hand and a can of spaghetti-ohs in the other, I started to bawl. She spent so much time, and thought, and love, and kindness in selecting these things for me. It must have taken her hours to plan the list, not to mention the two hour drive to see me.

    Just that moment, when you realized you are so loved, so precious to someone, and you don’t know what you did to deserve them in your life.

    It was a very good moment that started a wonderful day.

  75. Kungfulola, Coursel or de Courcelle? I used to live on that street!

    de Courcelle, sorry for the typo. We’re on Delinelle. You know, yesterday I went by L’eglise St-Zotique and a white-robed priest was standing with a clutch of men with red boutonnieres in the open doors. They must have been waiting for a bride to come to her 4 PM wedding. I wish I could have stuck around to catch a glimpse of her.

  76. In happy turtle news, my daughter’s friend helped a large snapper across a busy road this morning.

    It took me a good five or six seconds to stop wondering why a fish needed help crossing the street.

  77. It took me a good five or six seconds to stop wondering why a fish needed help crossing the street.

    Obviously because it doesn’t have legs. I mean, come on, Caperton.

  79. Ms Jill, I apologize for not making myself clear. Even if the wedding you’re attending were religious, you’d have every right to your own baseline of what you would or wouldn’t attend and where, and I wouldn’t say you shouldn’t go. I’d hoped my concluding sentence sufficient to imply that sentiment, and apoligze again that it wasn’t.

    Personally, I have not attended a wedding since 1993, and all the weddings to which I’ve been invited have been, conveniently for me, held under the auspices of non-accepting faiths. Almost all my close acquaintances accept that I won’t attend ceremonies under such rites, which is convenient, as truthfully I’m hoping to hold out for marriage equality US-wide. As that is not yet universally accepted by my circle as a reasonable decline, I have stuck with the excuse of time not permitting the required travel when not opting to cite the religion in question.

    If anything, it was an attempt more addressed to those who found Jamaica troublesome to show that there are many possible lines to draw, and that one probably does well to make reasonable accommodation for other people’s personal standards. I certainly accept yours and hope that everything else about your stay was more pleasant than your encounter with the turtle-abuser.

  80. t took me a good five or six seconds to stop wondering why a fish needed help crossing the street.

    If anything needs help crossing a street, I’d assume it would be a fish. Or, like, a sea cucumber.

  81. I don’t get the fish thing. Anyway, folk are cheerful because of the queen and all that, so that’s a good thing. Was raining a lot but she had like a rain-protection thing on the boat.

  82. Jill, I can’t believe you would hold up this turtle, who is clearly bowing to heteronormative and patriarchal pressures to reproduce, as worthy of defense.

    Problematic.

    Best laugh I’ve had all day.

  83. Anyway, folk are cheerful because of the queen and all that, so that’s a good thing

    They are eh? The ridiculous Jubilee celebrations are a kick in the face to a lot of people.

    -People without homes, who had financial assistance severely cut, or stopped altogether, because “there’s no money”

    -PWD who can no longer work, or live in the community, because their financial assistance has been revoked due to there being “no money”

    -Victims of London’s recent “social cleansing “. That is, poor people evicted from social housing in London and forced to move up to three hours away, so that the Jubilee celebrations and Olympic Games aren’t marred by the sight of the underclass. Oh, and so their former homes can be let, at up to 600% of their original rents, to foreign tourists.

    So speak for yourself, because a lot of people are not happy at all about four days of publicly-funded royal arse-kissing, when we’re experiencing the worst financial crisis since Thatcher fucked us over.

  84. That is, poor people evicted from social housing in London and forced to move up to three hours away, so that the Jubilee celebrations and Olympic Games aren’t marred by the sight of the underclass.

    Jesus fuck. Three hours away??? How the fuck are they supposed to be ermployed if they do that?

  86. x2 what Partial Human said in regards to the Jubilee.

    In other news, I’m glad to read most of this thread because I’ve had a shitty couple of days I need to read about happy things to get out of my own head right now.

    So thanks, Y’all.

  87. So speak for yourself, because a lot of people are not happy at all about four days of publicly-funded royal arse-kissing, when we’re experiencing the worst financial crisis since Thatcher fucked us over.

    Well I used to think like this too but it’s a much more complex issue than that in terms of social class structure.

    Maybe it’s different in London but here at least the monarchy stuff is like an integral part of the working class identity. My mum and many others were cooking stuff and setting stuff up on the street like tables and they were getting it all closed off so they could have a party. So even though the monarchy is very rich I think you’ll find that it’s the poor that identify most with the monarchy because they are a very key part of the whole British identity.

    If you took away the monarchy or the monarchy celebrations then I think this would be a kick in the face to a lot of people, because they would lose a thing that lets them keep pride in their country even when the financial situation is really bad.

    I mean, obv I think that having a monarchy is not right, because giving some set of people money and a title like that simply because of who they are born to, especially when they don’t do any real work is contrary to the values like equality. However, these things aren’t black and white like that, and you can’t just make blanket statements like the monarchy are negatively affecting poor people, because I think a majority of poor people would disagree with you on that one.

  88. obv I think that having a monarchy is not right, because giving some set of people money and a title like that simply because of who they are born to, especially when they don’t do any real work is contrary to the values like equality.

    What part of

    Anyway, folk are cheerful because of the queen and all that, so that’s a good thing.

    makes the previous statement at all obvious?

  89. Jesus fuck. Three hours away??? How the fuck are they supposed to be ermployed if they do that?

    macavitykitsune: Didn´t you read? They´re poor people. If they had any moxie whatsoever they´d pull themselves up by their bootstraps and find jobs. Only lazy people need social housing anyway. Hell, I remember the day my driver didn´t show up to take me to private school. It was awful; I almost had to take a bus and the subway. The subway! But I buckled down, worked hard, and forced my mom call a private taxi (just a town car, but still). So, I guess, the moral of the story is that if I worked hard, so can they. Bootstraps! Elbow Grease! Austerity!

  90. Maybe it’s different in London but here at least the monarchy stuff is like an integral part of the working class identity.

    Like the St. Georges flag? Pffftt…

  91. Medea @ 70 – That was me once years ago. Shat all over Jill’s good time in another land. I still get embarrassed thinking about how rude I was. Sorry about that again Jill.

    Anyway, back to the good stuff. I have not actually seen it yet, but I’m eagerly anticipating my daughter’s ‘graduation’ from preschool tonight. The cuteness will be intense and bittersweet. I’ll miss our little preschool co-op.

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