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FNTT Season 8, Round 1: the REAL FEMINISTS edition

Background on FNTT here. Click through to read this round’s contenders. The usual reminder: Comments below are abusive, insulting and may be triggering.

1. Alex

Let’s all agree forever and ever in circles until we’re dead. Let’s shut out any input that may be “derailing” or disagreeable. Let’s keep the minorities agreeing with the minorities and the majorities (who?) agreeing with the majorities. Let’s ask the people in power for change whilst telling them they don’t know what to do and refusing to let them ask.

You say there’s a time and a place for questions and yes, buts, but where is this place? I know in my short time questioning the people who claim to espouse Feminism that questions lead to hyperlinks to faceless, condescending websites. Where can you genuinely talk to a feminist online without them claiming to be too busy or too fed up to catch you up to speed on the most important aspect of their lives?

The Amazing Atheist (please don’t tell me what you think of him) recently had a quote on one of his videos that said:

“Feminism is the idea that we can make both sexes equal by focusing solely on the issues of one of them.”

While this is obviously not true in the dictionary sense of the word, at the very least the dictionary sense of the word for the first and second waves, it seems to be a perfect summary of “Feminism on the internet”.

It’s no wonder Feminism today, at the very least, online, has had almost zero effect on the misogyny we see all around us. The Us vs. Them situation online feminists have carved out for themselves has hardly made progress easy.

And while we’re on that topic, what defines a feminist online these days? A woman (or man) who says they are a feminist. That’s it. There’s no way to check what people know or they believe with any real measure of objectivity. The basic probability of the thing leans towards the fact that many people online who claim to be feminists are not conveying the ACTUAL beliefs and ideals that feminism entails.

The internet has a great way of putting misinformed people in a room, then filling that room with like-minded people to create the illusion that opinions are indeed facts. One only needs to see the issue of online piracy to understand the gravity of this fact. People these days are literally justifying their theft as both a victimless crime, and for that matter, not a crime at all, to rousing applause.

You can’t argue against the fact that many people having conversations about feminism could be completely different to your own, and that at times, you will be wrong, or not speaking the whole truth. Yes, buts are entirely warranted, and conversations that are ‘better for another conversation’ may in fact be interlinked (like almost everything is in the world) with the topic at hand.

The next time a man or woman says or asks something about your brand of feminism, do not push them aside so you can continue agreeing in a circle. The next time a man brings up his gender’s own issues do not shut him down, then accuse him of misusing moral relativism when he brings up starving children in third-world countries as a point of comparison. People of privilege don’t really have much to lose from trying once to join in and then never again when they are met with judgement and scorn. You can not discuss one gender without discussing the other.

Do not ostracise your next greatest ally. Equality will never be reached through segregated conversations. Equality is one of those things that, funnily enough, needs input from EVERYBODY, even the ones with privilege.

(I am aware my response probably ticks many boxes in some sort of feminist bingo and or derailment article, but these systems were put in place to derail conversation to begin with, so instead of telling me this, tell me what YOU think.)

2. A:

Feministe Admins: this is a little unusual for your mag, I know, but certainly relevant to Jill’s “Sex & Marriage” topic. Also, I see that “we are not afraid of controversy” in your guidelines. The download link below is for a simple compressed “zip” file, a folder within which are eight photographs.
The point of my comments here is that feminists in the US are generating a set of conditions which will have unwanted results for some of them and, certainly, for their daughters. I am a man; white, tall and, according to my Mom, affable and near-genius. My ex may have a more balanced view, however. In any case, I have a lovely grown daughter who, for many years resided in Northampton. She and I are well-schooled in the realms of feminist thought. My take on the good stuff is that you want equality of advancement at all skill levels, a clear shot at political power, a chance to elevate enslaved women in other nations and to bring a safe standard of living to these women and their kids.
My topic in response to Jill’s article will address only one aspect of American feminism, one which feminists seem to have moved to the backs of their minds. Probably a majority of American men, men of all ages, feel that there is nowhere in the US where they are likely to find a mate who is more traditional yet fun and smart: Lucy Ricardo (I Love Lucy), Samantha Stevens (Bewitched) or Laura Petrie (The Dick Van Dyke Show), to try some recognizable figures. These women brought peace and joy into the lives of their families. Men feel that feminist thought, the more aggressive line, is too much grief to have to live with. Many have gone overseas to find wives. Others are beginning to turn to female simulacra, life-like constructs, the newer (Japanese) of which offer female voice responses to simple phrases or questions. This is a growing, need-based phenomenon, not some pastime of fringe trenchcoat wearers (except for me, perhaps). American men dealing with work and financial stresses, already fated to die eight years before their female contemporaries, want to come home to peace and quiet, not the demanding regimen which is life with a devoted feminist. I’ve uploaded the folder not to be blatant or stupid, just to show readers here the mechanical fact of the existence of these “alternative partners.” I know it is still out-there in the US but fully accepted in Japan. I believe this phenomenon will be fully accepted as a way to live a peaceful and non-distracting life in America soon, certainly in under twenty years. By the way, these sims are available as males or females, so fems can snag a few too. Peace.
Feministe.zip (577.6 Kb)

3. Chris

God!!! – Why are all you ”people” (translation: feminist liberal democrats) on this woman’s side!!! She MADE IT UP!!!
If HALF of what was put out there about some of her previous sexual liasons (she wasn’t even MARRIED!!!) are true I wouldn’t believe a WORD she said.
I studied this case. She didn’t even have any CIRCUMSTANTIAL evidence and ZERO witnesses!!!

Jamie Leigh Jones DOES, however, have a history of being sexually active BEFORE being married and a history of LYING. Oh, also a history (by her OWN ADMISSION) of mental illness.
VERY credible. /Sarcasm/

If I were the corporation, I would now COUNTER-Sue her for time lost, defamation of character – whatever I could think of and just really mess her life up. She (and ALL women like her DESERVE no less!)

I don’t like minorities. I don’t like feminists. I don’t like atheists. I don’t like anti-war protesters. I don’t like people who don’t stand for God bless America. I don’t like those who pressured Arizona on certain things in recent years. I don’t like people who go after Big Business. I don’t like people who don’t spend at least a fair portion of their life in Texas, and the rest of the South. I don’t like N.O.W. … I don’t like the ACLU … I’m a proud card-carrying member of the NRA. I hit my neighbor in the face the in the 2010 midterms when it became clear the Republicans had the House back and said ”Take that!!!” … I don’t like people that have no Family Values. I voted for George Bush – BOTH TIMES and still have the bumper stickers on my car. I cheered when that $^^@# Erin Brokavick was getting death threats for being a SNITCH.

I would give my life for a Blue state and there have been nights when I have *literally* physically shaken with pride over the fact that this country has elected a republcan five out of the last seven presidential elections. Im not a weirdo or anything, it just makes me feel proud.

I don’t like people who believe in ”Global Warming” and I don’t like all this ”Green” Buls#@$@$#

Ask my youngest brother what I did to him when he told me he was thinking about being a PU$$Y and bying a ”Hybrid.”

Please do not remove my post. I am not trolling. Anyone can email me and I am VERY educated on all of the topics I mentioned above and welcome intelligent political discourse. I stated honestly who I am and what I believe without breaking any of your site’s posting rules. Again, I’m no fly-by troll – I just want to have my say and will answer any questions with respect and no vulgarity. I spent three hours yesterday explaining to my neighbor (shes 23, lives alone and is one SWEET piece, let me tell ya, lol) why she BETTER be in favor of Tort Reform or she and I would be having a little talk. I have worked my TAIL off for this country!!!

I walk what I talk. I have been an Activist. I have been a Delegate. I lost part of my family in the late 90s because I was working so hard to get Clinton out of office.
I am not alone…friends, family, fellow members of my congregation at church are VERY similar to me.

We are not the type of American citizen you need to be afraid of – we are the American citizen that is going to SAVE *your* sorry behinds.

And we will do it with love for all. One nation, under God.

God Bless you,
Chris


4. the truth hurts:

The fact is this comment will probably get deleted but I don’t care as when it gets deleted it will only prove my point further. Modern day feminism is a big fucking joke; now most of the people calling themselves femenists these days are just trying to demonize men and make them seem like they are to blame for everything that is wrong in every womans life.Case in point being this article. Boohoo I dressed like a skank at occupy wall street and somebody made a video showing me dressing as such, this is not opression. This is nothing more than what you wanted when you got up in the morning and decided to put on that slutty outfit when you knew that there were gonna be a slew of cameras and videos being taken where you were going. If anything the makers of this half assed website should be demonizing the women for dressing like this in public. Now that being said we move onto the point that they made a joke about rape. Well if the makers of this website ever actually looked at facts instead of just going off their emotions they would know that there is about a 2:1 ratio of men getting raped to women. Take out the prison rape scene and it is still a 1.16:1 ratio of men getting raped to women THAT WE KNOW OF.I say that “we know of” because most men don’t report that they got raped and robbed as to us it is generally something that we could have avoided as can women. Now the awesome facts don’t stop there it is believed that about 45% of rape claims made by women are lies just to get back at somebody because of whatever reason they so choose, the worst part is that even with no evidence against them as long as some bitch starts crying in court they will probably get convicted of rape.But wait there’s more, the average jail time for a man convicted of rape is 12 fucking years and a big stain on their criminal record… for a woman its 15 months no big stain.
Now all that being said the last thing i would like to touch on is how fucked up it is that you would post not only this mans name and pic but his friends pics as well.Why can’t you grow a fucking sense of humor and get the fuck over it.Its not like he was saying I would rape all of them, no he is making a joke to his friends on a fucking facebook leave the man alone.
My mother was a feminist back when it meant something. Back when women were not supposed to wear pants and had only the worst pay in the job force and got no respect. Women these days are not oppressed they just want reparation’s for what they think is and was happening to them.The fact is unless you are talking about the top 10% of our country women not only have a higher opportunity of employment but also have a higher chance of getting employed.They get treated easier then men in courts (case in point the woman who chopped her husbands dick off when he wanted a divorce) they get less jail time time and they get away with a lot more crimes then men do.

I will argue any stupid ass point you think you may have to the contrary, BRING IT ON I will be doing an AMA about chauvinism on the 20th of October on reddit.com starting at about 12 noon eastern time. If you think you have a valid point about modern female oppression bring it up and I will show you 6 ways you are wrong.

Again I just have to say that this article sickened me.It accomplished nothing and only showed that feminists are just women with no sense of humor.

5. Jim

Oh puke. Hey now you get treated like one of the guys and it’s misogynist, we treat you different and it’s discriminatory. Collectivism is bullshit. You’re a person with a vagina. You want to interact in a certain place with a certain people, deal with how those people are, or go somewhere else. You keep wanting the double standard in your favor, where there shouldn’t be one at all. Seriously, you need to grow up, realize the world isn’t roses, and stop making it an issue of sexism. You don’t want to be ridiculed or harassed on reddit? Don’t go there. Adult solution. You seem to want to avoid that and instead try and throw a pity party because someone went someplace and was mocked. Be glad it wasn’t 4chan, and move on with your life and concentrate on yourself and your personal responsibilities to better your life, and quit whining about how much of an asshole everyone else is. You’re an asshole too.



77 thoughts on FNTT Season 8, Round 1: the REAL FEMINISTS edition

  1. Chris is the real winner here, hands down.

    People like this make me want to move into a tornado shelter…permanently.

  2. Alex, because clearly the MRA butthurt shows best by summarizing his post as “what about teh menz?!?!?!?!??!”

  3. I must say this was a SPECTACULAR round, Jill. From what about the menz to beautiful soliloquies of rape apology to the foreshadowing that we’re going to be replaced in 20 years by passive Japanese fembots (extra racist sprinkling FTW!). I had a hard time choosing.

  4. Wow! These guys are really something. I think Chris just for the all around level of hating going on, but it was certainly a tough call.

  5. Chris, for reaching the underpants-on-head quota for exclamation points, creative use of caps, $ signs, etc., and then ending it all with references to a loving God.

    Though both Alex and the truth hurts scored points for preemptively explaining all of the reasons that their own comments were inappropriate but then going on to submit a frigging wall-o-text into the ether, assuming it would never see the light of day. I wonder if that conviction of invisibility makes people more or less likely to display their unlovely, hateful colors?

  6. A, for overwhelming creepiness and a zip file of mystery. (Which I assume – and hope – was never opened.)

    Chris seems to be the favourite, but I still can’t bring myself to believe that a person who says, “I don’t like people who don’t stand for God bless America.”, actually exists outside of farcical comedy sketches, and I don’t want to be disabused of that comforting halo of ignorance.

  7. It was a toss-up between the truth hurts (for being an arbiter of sexual assault “statistics”) and Chris (for his blatant bigotry). The part about Chris not liking anyone who hasn’t lived in Texas is almost too ridiculous not to laugh at. I mean, that guy is a real person. Also the fact that he doesn’t like minorities. WTF?

  8. Is there no way to explain who the real feminists are in less than 150 words?

    I’m voting for A, because of the demanding regimen which is life with a devoted feminist, and also the zip file.

  9. Chris FTW!

    I would give my life for a Blue state and there have been nights when I have *literally* physically shaken with pride over the fact that this country has elected a republcan five out of the last seven presidential elections. Im not a weirdo or anything, it just makes me feel proud.

    …this is… pure gold.

  10. A actually took the time to create a zip file to go with his message, which is pretty absurd. Chris was trying too hard to offend.

  11. I think this needs to be named the wall o’ text round aka why feminism SuXXXXX.

    In all seriousness I voted for chris. Mr. I’m going to give you my position on every little thing and tell everyone that I assault people who aren’t exactly like me. Then I’m going to pretend that my fire and brimstone mythical creature in the sky is actually benevolent and loving.

  12. Why, why, why do they have to write so LONG? I’m exhausted.

    Chris can’t be for real, can he? It looks as if he’s trying to go over the top in order to make us laugh, but instead of going over, he just sort of hovers where no one can determine whether he is joking or not… What he did to his brother for wanting to buy a hybrid? Lolz.

    I think I’ll go with the sex bots. His concern is duly noted;)

  13. I wonder what it is that makes these particular comments so exceptionally long compared to most of the other entries we’ve seen.

    I have a few ideas.

  14. Chris, for taking the time to list all the people he doesn’t like, for his disclosure about hitting his neighbor in the face, verbally abusing his brother over buying a hybrid and for his assertion that he’s ‘not a weirdo or anything’. So awesome.

  15. @ Jadey: A young man of my acquaintance joined the military. His parents were not thrilled with this, to understate the situation rather a lot, but did their best to be supportive because, well, he’s their kid. The military have a lot of “friends and family” events, mostly for family actually, with parades, drill exhibitions, etc. to keep everybody feeling all warm and fuzzy about things.

    At one of these, they played, in addition to the national anthem, GBA and also the Lee Greenwood “STAND UP” song. The dad stood for the first, but refused to for the other two while everybody else did. He was pretty much the only one of a couple hundred at this event who didn’t. The kid certainly doesn’t hate him for it; they have a pretty good relationship actually, but did make a point of asking his mom something like, “what was wrong with Dad; were his legs tired or something?”

    @ Jill: I haven’t voted for any of these yet — maybe my “might as well laugh as cry” function just isn’t working that well this morning because I couldn’t get much of a laugh out of these (not that this blog is here to make me laugh, not what I mean at all). They’re just icky and sad and kind of scary. I’m really sorry you have to get these. And I’m gathering that you must read them all? I hope that not too many are as long as these, at least. I had some idea of this stuff, but these kind of make it sink in. Maybe I will come back later and vote out of curiosity just to see the results. Hope I am not being too much of a downer; I get a lot of information out of the blog.

  16. I had to vote for A since I’m a sucker for fembots and zip files, but I do wonder if “I’m no fly-by troll” Chris ever made another comment here.

  17. I know Chris has a big, honking target on his back, but Jim… oh, Jim. Let’s take a look:

    “You’re a person with a vagina. You want to interact in a certain place with a certain people, deal with how those people are, or go somewhere else. You keep wanting the double standard in your favor, where there shouldn’t be one at all. Seriously, you need to grow up, realize the world isn’t roses, and stop making it an issue of sexism. You don’t want to be ridiculed or harassed on reddit? Don’t go there. Adult solution. … quit whining about how much of an asshole everyone else is. You’re an asshole too.”

    You want to be around teh menz? Well, of course we’re going to be assholes! That’s not a stereotype, sez Jim. That’s just “life”.

    Not sure about where the “double standard” is coming from, or what he’s referring to there, but it’s almost like this automatic I-have-to-say-this-cause-it’s-part-of-the-dogma thing.

    The world isn’t roses, ladies, you have to grow up… So no one in the world has the right to ask for a raise, or even ever hope to go beyond daddy’s career as a janitor. Because life is not roses and, therefore, it should not change.

    Don’t want to get harassed? Don’t go where the harassment is. Like here. Because I’m harassing you here as well. See how that works?

    If you “whine” about someone being an asshole, that makes YOU an asshole! Ta da! See how this works? Well, it works for me…

    So Jim may not be as over the top as Chris, but his arguments are classic, non?

  18. OK, so I broke down right away and voted. I figured Chris would have it and he was pretty impressive with the nuttery, the examples of which everybody else has already mentioned. But I went for the truth hurts for the scientistic precision of the “1.16 to 1” male to female rape victim statistic, that is, after he factored out prison rape. That, and knowing in advance that he would have 6 points against ANY point made about “modern female oppression.”

  19. I had to vote for A for suggesting that we should be more like fictional women from the 50’s and 60’s. Also for implying that this should be an “aspect of feminism.”

    I always find it amusing when trolls try to scare us with the idea that our feminism will prevent us from landing a man. Oh no!!! I think I better be a little more like Donna Reed, or else I will be replaced by a fem-bot and miss the opportunity to be with that wonderful guy who would obviously see and value me as a person… oh, wait.

    Although, second place goes to Chris:

    I don’t like people who don’t spend at least a fair portion of their life in Texas, and the rest of the South. I don’t like N.O.W. … I don’t like the ACLU … I’m a proud card-carrying member of the NRA. I hit my neighbor in the face

    Wow.

  20. Chris, hands down, and this was a pretty impressive round! His random capslock shouting made it so much easier to read than his fellow trolls’ tl;dr block paragraphs of doom. Once you add points for the random violence, his assertion that he’s not a troll, and the way he stuck the landing with his “one love, y’all!” proclamation after raging about liberals for a million paragraphs, you get a clear winner.

  21. ugh. Mental illness isn’t all that amusing. At least three of these folks need to be medicated. I picked Chris because he’s such a hater, and because I can’t get over the fact that he literally shakes with pride sometimes when he thinks of republican presidents. Yikes. Which begs the question how does you reconcile that with hating people from Texas?

  22. I was going to vote for Chris, but then he started going into the violence against other people for their views, and it stopped being funny real fast.

  23. To Chris, for textbook mansplanation-harassment-rapethreats: “I spent three hours yesterday explaining to my neighbor (shes 23, lives alone and is one SWEET piece, let me tell ya, lol) why she BETTER be in favor of Tort Reform or she and I would be having a little talk[.]”

    But he’s not weird or anything. And his ENTIRE congregation is VERY SIMILAR to him.

    Shudder.

  24. Yikes. Difficult choice, here, but “A”, because he reminds me so much of the menfolks in the original “Stepford Wives” movie.

    These guys (sic) are kinda….different. Just think, they are likely standing in the grocery line next to you. Or living next door.

    Canada looks better every day.

  25. “Equality is one of those things that, funnily enough, needs input from EVERYBODY, even the ones with privilege.”

    Translation: People with privilege have to agree that it’s in their best interests to give up their privilege before we can ever have real equality. Because, you know, ALL OF RECORDED HISTORY tells us that those with privilege just aren’t aware of it, and when you point it out they let it go WITHOUT ANY FUSS AT ALL.

  26. This is a tremendous round, but I’m bucking the trend and going with Alex for the very careful explanation of why we’re alienating allies, in wall of text form, because it is just almost-reasonable enough to slip in, but then he throws the gloriously self-aware bingo card reference.

    But really, I’m happy with just about any winner out of this round, and think they are a shoo-in for the finals.

  27. Chris, for the same reasons as Amanda, plus that note at the end about how he’s *not* the type we need to fear.

  28. So, I just didn’t buy that Chris was for real. Maybe this is just me protecting my sanity, but I have to believe he was just an exaggerated caricature of a violent, intolerant, right-wing asshole. So, no vote for him.

    A. seemed pathetically, bizarrely sincere about his robot wives for everyone spiel, so he gets my vote.

  29. I just didn’t buy that Chris was for real. Maybe this is just me protecting my sanity, but I have to believe he was just an exaggerated caricature of a violent, intolerant, right-wing asshole.

    I thought that, too, at first. Especially when he followed his hate for non-Texans and the ACLU and support for the NRA with a tale about assaulting his neighbor. I actually laughed when I read “I hit my neighbor in the face,” then immediately felt bad because I began to think he actually was serious. Shudder.

  30. A, because I really enjoyed the incongruence of his organized and calm writing style with his bizarre threats that men will leave us all for Lucy Ricardo and real dolls.

  31. A: the tall, white, affable dude, whose genius apparently does not extend to recognition of his overwhelming sense of entitlement to a fun, smart mate whose purpose in life is to bring him peace and joy.

    Bonus points for the mention of those madcap ladies of 50’s/60’s sitcoms. Donna Stone, June Cleaver, Harriet Nelson, and Margaret Anderson were probably smart enough, but just didn’t bring sufficient entertainment value into the lives of their deserving husbands.

    And Northampton. Yeah, definite points for Northampton.

    As for the rest of this week’s contestants, thanks for playing, but I’ve heard it all before. Ho hum.

  32. There was too much wall of text for me to really choose. I think I’m just going to have to go with A, just because it was first, and I’m feeling lazy that way.

  33. A, totally wielding the threat of a wave of men abandoning us for imaginary sitcom women and Japanese robots. After reading all that, I could go for a Japanese robot myself, right about now.

  34. Like Amanda and DoublyLinkedLists, I went for Chris because he just had to throw in the part about educating his neighbor on tort reform – and oh yeah, she’s a hot 23-year-old – and she better agree with me or I wil MAKE HER AGREE.

    Which makes me wonder if this is the same neighbor he hit in the face when the Republicans took the midterms in 2010.

    I also agree with Tim. These were particularly ugly.

  35. @ shay

    You know what else isn’t all that amusing? Ableism. (Well, okay, it’s a *little* amusing, but only in a “let’s mock Chris mercilessly” kind of way.) Just like having a mental illness=/=being untrustworthy, trolling/spewing nonsensical hate/generally being an asshole=/=having a mental illness.

  36. These guys (sic) are kinda….different. Just think, they are likely standing in the grocery line next to you. Or living next door.

    Canada looks better every day.

    Trust me, we grow them like that up here too.

  37. I also voted for Chris. . .it was an easy call. One of the most impressive instances of trolling I’ve ever seen. I’m awestruck–a true work of art.

    I agree that he most definitely is not for real. Who says “I don’t like minorities”? I mean–at least from what I’ve seen–racists don’t talk that way, and non-racists certainly don’t talk that way either. And as someone who lives in the Lone Star State, people here may be a bit colorful, but not so colorful as to say that they don’t like “people who don’t spend at least a fair portion of their life in Texas.”

    Then again, my whole life I’ve run into people who’ve said things in earnest that were so outlandish that the only time I had heard them before was on The Colbert Report (or something similar). So I could be wrong. *shudder*

  38. Chris: “[T]his country has elected a republcan five out of the last seven presidential elections.”

    This only works if he starts with Reagan and doesn’t count the last election. I can’t imagine why he would do that.

  39. Wow, quite a selection here … looks like Chris is a shoo-in with his vague threats and list of ‘101 things I don’t like’.

    BUT … Alex does it for me with his ‘drop everything and educate me NOW’ sook. His awareness of FAQ issues like derailing and bingo suggest he’s been around, so his monumental failure to get-a-clue is even more amusing.

    Jim is just nasty in a very cliched way.

  40. A vote for the truth hurts. His skewed statistics on rape. Equating rape to a robbery. Mention of the Bobbit case. Really? However, my personal favorite was “My mother was a feminist back when it meant something.” Mom must be so proud.

  41. have to go with the first one

    hyperlinks to faceless, condescending websites

    Hey, that’s my faceless, condescending website, mate!

  42. Chris is classic trollery, with his litany of dislikes justified by a god of love. A’s a close second, though, with his unashamed insistence that his women be scripted 50s actresses. As for overseas wives, we redneck gals describe it accurately: offshoring junk males.

  43. This one was just torture, so I didn’t vote at all. Can’t they just say what they need to in one pithy sentence?

    o wonder their moms don’t call them up to the kitchen for their lunch until the Elio’s pizza is out of the oven. Eleven minutes of this, and they would shoot themselves.

  44. While not as over-the-top as many of the other FNTT entries, “Jim”‘s entry highlights just how pervasive, banal, and toxicity everyday misogyny really is and takes it to its core:

    You’re a person with a vagina. You want to interact in a certain place with a certain people, deal with how those people are, or go somewhere else.

    Substitute the words “brown/black/yellow/red skin,” “a wheelchair,” “elderly,” or any number of other characteristics, and see how those words roll out to their logical conclusion.

  45. I voted for Alex. He just sounds so earnest compared to these other trolls. I imagine myself giggling sadistically as I tear apart his worldview. My favorite quote of his is “Do not ostracise your next greatest ally.” Don’t we know that he could solve all our problems if only we’d listen to him? By not catering to his entitlement we are dooming ourselves! For clearly a man who can’t even be bothered to read up on the basics could potentially lead Feminists to victory!

  46. Does anyone have a theory for why these entries were all so long?

    I went with Alex for Japanese fembot wives and .zip files.

  47. Not that I’m super happy with all that Alex says, he does have a legitimate point. A great deal of feminism does create more and more boundaries between men and women and does not make a strong enough effort to include men in the discussion. The patriarchal system on the whole benefits men but, as bell hooks explain in “Feminism is for Everybody,” not all men are on board with this system. We do need to make allies and not enemies of the men willing to listen and be engaged in establishing better social equality.

  48. Oh my… this is a treasure trove. Thanks to Jill for stockpiling these winners in a suitable lead-lined toxic waste disposal facility until it was time to unearth them once again. I will just cut and paste some of the lines I found to be the best.

    “The download link below is for a simple compressed “zip” file, a folder within which are eight photographs.” (creeptastic line of the year)

    “I am a man; white, tall and, according to my Mom, affable and near-genius. ” (according to his mom!)

    “…Lucy Ricardo (I Love Lucy), Samantha Stevens (Bewitched) or Laura Petrie (The Dick Van Dyke Show), to try some recognizable figures. These women brought peace and joy into the lives of their families.” (Lucy brought “peace” into her home??? Has he ever watched an episode? He’s got some SPLAININ to do!)

    “[Realdolls are] a growing, need-based phenomenon, not some pastime of fringe trenchcoat wearers (except for me, perhaps).” (Well points for honesty for that last bit I guess)

    “Jamie Leigh Jones DOES, however, have a history of being sexually active BEFORE being married and a history of LYING.” (Pearls being clutched… NOW! Seriously, if all women are to be virgins until marriage, someone please explain to me who all the men are supposed to be fucking. Hmmm…)

    “they would know that there is about a 2:1 ratio of men getting raped to women. Take out the prison rape scene and it is still a 1.16:1 ratio of men getting raped to women THAT WE KNOW OF.” (Internet statistics FTW!)

    “I will be doing an AMA about chauvinism on the 20th of October on reddit.com” (An MRA? On reddit? surprise me some more!)

    Thank you for the lulz today.

  49. Chris for reminding me of two male relatives, yes guys like him are real and for all the reasons already given. What is a teal deer?

  50. You know what I am voting for? The option of rolling my eyes at crybaby men who throw tantrums and act as if their precious balls are getting cut off whenever women want a bit of equality, accountability, or a bit of punishment for any who perpetrate violence against women.

    They talk about what *real* men they are, but all I can envision is a spoiled two year old kicking and screaming after being denied something.

    #getoverit

  51. I very nearly went with A. I love the way he starts out affably self-deprecating and mentioning his daughter (who, if she’s anything like him, I SINCERELY hope I never meet), then goes on to saying that, since due to evil feminism most women no longer act like 50s sitcom characters (Mark said it best when he said: “Lucy brought ‘peace’ into her home??? Has he ever watched an episode? He’s got some SPLAININ to do!”), the men have no choice but to replace them with Japanese fembots.

    But Chris… he won it, in the end, for his killer punchline. After spending a long, horrifying post:

    1) bragging about hitting his neighbor in the face because of 2010 election results
    2) implying that he beat up his younger brother for thinking about buying a hybrid
    3) implying future violence towards his neighbor (not sure if it’s the same neighbor, or another one) if she is not in favor of tort reform (possibly sexual violence, as he takes care to say she’s “23, lives alone and is one SWEET piece”)

    Chris then says he is, quote: “not the type of American citizen you need to be afraid of”.

    Guys like this are the exact reason I do martial arts.

    PS @shay: please don’t tell people they “need to be medicated”. I have been, by force. It hurt.

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