Embarrassing story (though not for me): When my brother* was about seven years old, he and his best friend would run around the house yelling out bad words and feeling terribly naughty about it. The problem was, being seven, they didn’t actually know any really bad words, and “pantyhose” was the absolute naughtiest one they knew, so they ran around the house yelling “pantyhose.”
Thank God they hadn’t come across “monkey crotch.”
With a creativity and dedication to the task unusual for local officialdom, [Pakistan’s] telecoms regulator has issued a list of more than 1000 words and phrases which will be banned.
After serious deliberation and consultation, officials from the Pakistan Telecommunication Authority (PTA) have come up with more than 50 phrases using the word “fuck” and 17 involving “butt.”
The bans, the agency says, is intended to control spam, and the texts themselves are not to be monitored or recorded.
A few samplings to pass along to your seven-year-old brothers to provide a little variety:
– athlete’s foot
– breast
– condom
– deposit
– fairy
– fingerfood
– flatulence
– fondle
– harder
– headlights
– herpes
– hostage
– intercourse
– Jesus Christ
– love pistol
– premature
– tampon
– tongue
– quickie
– Wuutang
Everybody now: “Tampon! Tampon! Tampon! Tampon! Tampon!”
*Dude, you’re welcome.