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Jon Hamm is not real.

Jill

Photo of Jon Hamm looking sexy.

I refuse to believe it’s possible for a man to be this perfect (see also: Ryan Gosling).

Not only was he a high school teacher before he rocketed to fame as an actor, but you won’t believe the job he had during college…

He worked at a daycare center!

Working with children and teens meant much more than a paycheck.

“I was a child of a single parent,” Hamm said at yesterday’s annual Rape Treatment Center benefit brunch in Beverly Hills. “I spent the majority of my life in daycare, after school programs, summer school programs.”

Hamm said, “Having gone through what I had gone through as a child…there were no real male role models in any of these places. There were never any dudes.

“It was a bummer as a young man to, not only not have a father figure in my life, but no real male figures as teachers or as educators or as afterschool program leaders or anything,” he said.

Hamm made the point to emphasize the importance of the Rape Treatment Center’s educational outreach, especially for boys and young men. “It is an important thing to instill in a younger generation about the impact of rape, the lasting impact of rape,” he said, adding, “Children from grade school to high school to college are incredibly susceptible and incredibly malleable, as we all know. To get them early, to teach them about the facts and figures and other realities of rape is key. It is an important issue to me as not only a man, but as an educator, as a human being and as a person on this planet.”

I don’t read this as Hamm lamenting the fact that he was in daycare and after-school programs, or complaining about having a single mother; I read it as, “This was my reality, and it could have been better in some ways, so I did my part to try to make it better for other kids.” It is a problem that women are the vast majority of care workers; it is a problem that kids are brought up rarely seeing male care-takers. Whatever, I can’t even finish this paragraph because all I’m doing is going on offense against the inevitable But There’s A Problem Here! in the comments and that’s boring, let’s all just calm down and look at his face. Look at his FACE!

Also, the first few comments on the E! posting are a hoot. They involve the terms “virile,” “girly-men” and “broads.” Enjoy.

39 thoughts on Jon Hamm is not real.

  2. Brandy:
    Commenter #8 believes he is a closet Tea Party member. What?

    I think 5 and 8 both seem to be reading it as a condemnation of single mothers, which seems kind of absurd. He’s pretty clearly saying that the problem is a dearth of male role models for young men growing up in those circumstances.

  3. “Thou shalt not assume that any man over the age of thirty who plays with a child that is not their own is a pedophile. Some people are just nice.” – Scroobius Pip

  4. I think this speaks to a larger issue of getting more men involved in different issues relating to women’s rights and other equality issues. As a male ally I think it’s important to speak out and get other men involved in speaking and acting on these things.

  6. He seems like a good guy, but I still don’t find him attractive. And not just in the way that I fail to be turned on by most officially hot actors, like bland-ass Ryan Reynolds. I actually find Hamm slightly unpleasant-looking.

  7. “Thou shalt not assume that any man over the age of thirty who plays with a child that is not their own is a pedophile. Some people are just nice.” – Scroobius Pip

    That is exactly the quote I thought of, too.

  9. He looks like a cartoon pilot! (Sorry, just had to get that out there.)

    In all seriousness, I think Jon Hamm is a real stand-up guy, as well as a damn fine actor. It’s refreshing to see someone who is actively trying to be a positive male role model.

  11. I would love to sit in on the sessions between Hamm and his director working out the acting scenes in Mad Men. This kind of thing just affirms his massive talent as an actor; you’ve got to wonder whether such a compassionate man ever has to struggle psychologically in order to effectively play such a bad, bad, BAD character.

    In other words: HEART.

  12. My son’s preschool has a male assistant teacher in the mornings, and I never really thought about it beyond, “I wonder if he’s single so I can set him up with my friend?” until I read this. I’m glad my son has a male educator early on in his life.

    Andie:
    “Thou shalt not assume that any man over the age of thirty who plays with a child that is not their own is a pedophile.Some people are just nice.” – Scroobius Pip

    This reminds me of a movie, “Say Uncle,” about a man who misses his godson and just genuinely loves kids, but gets targeted as a pedo by the community.

  13. 1) Good for him – and for the kids!

    2) The thing that convinced me of Hamm’s Goddamn Wonderfulness, weirdly, was his turn on 30 Rock: not that he’s a fine comic actor, which is swell too, but that his performance was *totally egoless*. Not a single wink or moment of self-consciousness or flinch of hesitation – nor a moment of meanness – in the performance. He just went up and played Deeply Stupid and obviously had a blast doing so. Weird as it may seem, I feel like you learn something important about a person when you see him shed his ego like that.

    3) i.e. Good for him.

  14. “It is a problem that women are the vast majority of care workers; it is a problem that kids are brought up rarely seeing male care-takers. Whatever, I can’t even finish this paragraph because all I’m doing is going on offense against the inevitable But There’s A Problem Here! in the comments and that’s boring…”

    Hey Jill, you’re just missing the call to action sentence: let’s encourage more men (hunky or not) to work and/or volunteer in venues where exemplary male role models are traditionally missing. Daycare centers? Definitely. Elementary schools? Oh yeah. For some reason you’ll see more men in outside-school venues like camps, the Y, Boys and Girls Clubs, and community centers. So it’s not like entry-level pay scales are the obstacle.

    I’d just add that from my own experience volunteering in schools and on field trips kids really resonate and respond well to men who are caregivers. They don’t respond magically — they’re still kids, and the fact that you’re a grownup (and thus as much of an obstacle as a facilitator) generally trumps your chromosome distribution. But that’s not really the point. Kids, especially in the pre-school to, say, 3rd grade age range, are particularly interested in matching archetypes/stereotypes to reality. The more exposure they get to actual men the more grounded in reality… and thus humanity… their archetypes are going to be.

    I’d also add that I think it’s cool that an archetypically manly hetero like Hamm could step into the “poster child” role for this kind of expansion of the stereotype of hetero manliness. Specifically, the actual John Hamm, who’s kind of a goof when not in character, really might have been constrained to assume a Don Draper like role had he lived in the Mad Men era: there just weren’t very many achievable, affirmative ways for men to be, well, real men instead of the fucked up, alcohol numbed, asshole roles we were stuck with back then. Instead he’s got a pretty cool, pretty radically non-macho life that’s still comfortable and identifiable for a lot of straight men who weren’t, well, lucky enough to have had his formative experiences.

    @Shannon Drury: If you were going to use the “waves” label I’m pretty sure Hamm would be dead-center 3rd wave. He’s not Alan Alda / Joe Biden quasi apologetic to “others” about privileges he’s not about to give up himself — he seems more like “here’s where we all are, here’s what we could all be doing.” That’s pretty cool too.

    figleaf

  15. D’aww.

    I have a (single, childless) male friend who worries that he’d be perceived as a predator if he did the kind of school volunteering he’s enthusiastic about. A commenter upthread mentioned that a lot of men seem to volunteer with children in outdoorsy type settings, and that’s what I’ve noticed, too – my male friends volunteer at bike workshops and things like that.

  16. Shannon Drury:
    Empowering menfolk to choose caregiving jobs, whether paid or unpaid, is the unfinished business of the Second Wave.Which wave is Jon Hamm on?Cuz I wanna ride it.

    I, too, want to ride Jon Hamm’s wave.

    … What?

  17. Also, about the “pedo” business: the non-paradoxical answer of course is to recruit more men into child services. If the obstacles are high and/or participation is low then it sort of makes sense to question any particular individual’s motivation.

    The obvious concern would be, I guess, that with more men in the system pedophile men would have more “protective coloration” or something. Except that responsible male colleagues can be expected to be no more tolerant of sexual threats to children than predominantly-female colleagues are now.

    (Putting on my NSWATM hat for a moment, from the Mary Kay Letourneau case onward it’s pretty clear (and, humans being humans should have been obvious before) that “protective coloration” goes both ways. To the extent that policies against physical or sexual abuse of children need to be crafted, refined, or clarified they need to be clarified for adults not one sex, gender, or orientation vs. another.)

    Anyway, think of the difference in abuse rates between the kind of hothouses of strictly celibate clergy vs. more, er, small-c catholic clergy. It’s not the case that only nominally hetero, celibate clergy commit abuse (at all!) But it does seem to be the case that when drawn from more diverse sources (men and women, married and unmarried, gay and straight, and so on) there’s a heck of a lot less inclination to close ranks and protect offenders. And what’s true about expansiveness and diversity in clergy is almost certainly going to be true in the care of children as well.

    So. To the extent one worries about abuse of children one should support more rather than less diversity among adult caregivers, and that obviously includes recruiting and/or welcoming more men into traditionally female fields.

    figleaf

  18. I deliberately limit my interaction with children for that very reason. The fear of being seen as having sinister motives means I usually avoid kids whenever possible. I guess it’s different when they’re yours. But I generally tend to treat my cousins like they’re on my level and I know they appreciate it. I just want to be the cool uncle when my sisters start having children.

  19. Nora Ephron put her finger on what annoys me about the surge of TV shows set in the early 1960s: It’s seen as this magic moment, before feminism came along and ruined everything.

  20. high five on the 30-rock reference!!

    Cait:
    He looks like a cartoon pilot! (Sorry, just had to get that out there.)

    In all seriousness, I think Jon Hamm is a real stand-up guy, as well as a damn fine actor. It’s refreshing to see someone who is actively trying to be a positive male role model.

  21. Bitter Scribe:
    Nora Ephron put her finger on what annoys me about the surge of TV shows set in the early 1960s: It’s seen as this magic moment, before feminism came along and ruined everything.

    But…Mad Men pretty deliberately takes a baseball bat to that idea. Like, constantly. The whole point is that it’s this stylish exterior masquerading as a perfect society, but underneath it it’s deeply rotten. Unless I’m misunderstanding you and you’re just talking about the second wave of those shows that are emerging, in which case I wholly agree with you.

  22. So, I’m unclear on his final paragraph:

    Hamm made the point to emphasize the importance of the Rape Treatment Center’s educational outreach, especially for boys and young men. “It is an important thing to instill in a younger generation about the impact of rape, the lasting impact of rape,” he said, adding, “Children from grade school to high school to college are incredibly susceptible and incredibly malleable, as we all know. To get them early, to teach them about the facts and figures and other realities of rape is key. It is an important issue to me as not only a man, but as an educator, as a human being and as a person on this planet.”

    Is the article talking about male rape? Or rape committed by men? Cos there are two very different ways of reading the ‘especially for boys and young men.’ I initially read it as ‘…because male rape is rarely discussed and very few provisions are made specifically for male rape survivors.’ But reading to the end, I guess it’s the ‘teach men not to rape’ idea. Because for me, teaching kids the realities and impact of rape would be gender neutral and teach them respect of everyone’s personal boundaries.

  23. @protocoach: I’ll have to take your word about Mad Men, which I can’t force myself to watch. But you’re right in that I was thinking more about shows like The Playboy Club and Pan Am.

  24. I don’t know if he is perfect, this looks like a very tiny part of his life. I do find him attractive and loved this quote:

    “It was a bummer as a young man to, not only not have a father figure in my life, but no real male figures as teachers or as educators or as afterschool program leaders or anything,” he said.

    Maybe his mother was an activist since I am mesmerized that he did not have the company of men figures that he talks in the “anything”. Maybe her mother was to busy working like crazy of whatever. The good part is that he find a constructive way to help others in his same position.

    It feels strange to talk about someone beauty when we are discussing his achievements and motivations.

    I indulge my self remembering that there is a differential impact. But deep inside I know this don’t change the nature of the action.

    Avida

  25. To the extent that policies against physical or sexual abuse of children need to be crafted, refined, or clarified they need to be clarified for adults not one sex, gender, or orientation vs. another.

    You might have an argument if the vast majority of sexual abuse against children was not committed by men. Get the facts.

  26. The rate of sexual abuse by women against either children or adults is hard to track since it’s frequently under reported and victims are often not believed.

  27. tinfoil hattie:
    To the extent that policies against physical or sexual abuse of children need to be crafted, refined, or clarified they need to be clarified for adults not one sex, gender, or orientation vs. another.

    You might have an argument if the vast majority of sexual abuse against children was not committed by men.Get the facts.

    Yeah, sorry, forgot women can’t rape and all.

    1. Yeah, sorry, forgot women can’t rape and all.

      “Men commit the vast majority of sexual abuses” =/ “women can’t rape at all.” Let’s respond to what people actually said please.

  28. I’m a queer girl. I mostly like other girls. I wouldn’t kick him outta bed though. He gets a pass. That is a pretty man.

  29. suspect class:
    The rate of sexual abuse by men against either children or adults is also hard to track since it’s frequently under reported and victims are often not believed.

  30. My heartbeat literally increased after each paragraph. I had to check that I wasn’t on The Onion cause I thought someone surely had to be making fun of how much love it was possible for me to have for Jon Hamm.

  31. Yes, of course. Sexual abuse victims generally face a level of scrutiny not afforded to victims of other types of crime. Pointing out that we know even less about the victims of women isn’t claiming that victims of men have it easy.

  32. Also fear of abuse =/= good reason to discourage men from careers in ECE. Fear of abuse is a good reason to better screen EVERYONE who wants to work with children.

    No one would stand up for saying that women should be kept out of X career because women are more likely to Y. Let’s not do it with guys either.

  33. Men commit the vast majority of rapes. Against women, against other men, against children.

    Does that mean women don’t molest children or rape people? Of course not.

    But let’s deal with reality instead of always, always, ALWAYS having to say, “Yes but not ALL men are rapists and pedophiles OMG!” when the fact is, men are the ones who can stop the majority of rapes.

  34. tinfoil hattie:
    Men commit the vast majority of rapes.Against women, against other men, against children.

    Does that mean women don’t molest children or rape people?Of course not.

    But let’s deal with reality instead of always, always, ALWAYS having to say, “Yes but not ALL men are rapists and pedophiles OMG!” when the fact is, men are the ones who can stop the majority of rapes.

    You’re verging on a “Powerless Women” fallacy there.

  35. tinfoil hattie:
    Men commit the vast majority of rapes.Against women, against other men, against children.

    Does that mean women don’t molest children or rape people?Of course not.

    But let’s deal with reality instead of always, always, ALWAYS having to say, “Yes but not ALL men are rapists and pedophiles OMG!” when the fact is, men are the ones who can stop the majority of rapes.

    Actually, I think in the context of getting more men involved in caretaking and/or ECE roles, it IS important to remind people that not all guys are rapists and pedophiles, since it seems in my experience people tend to look at these guys sideways who try to work in these fields. The flipside of the ‘potentially 1 in 60 guys has committed sexual assault’ is that potentially, 59 out of 60 haven’t.

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