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New York leads in never-married women — but what about the men?

Jill

New York state has the highest percentage of never-married women in the country, and in New York City it’s even higher. 34.8 percent of New York state women over the age of 15 have never married; in the city, it’s 41.7 percent. That’s not particularly surprising — culturally, it’s odd to get married before you’re 30 in New York. The only friends of mine who are under 30 and married don’t live in New York — they’re folks who I went to high school with, or college friends who left the city before getting engaged. The only people I know who are under 30 and live in New York and are married are other lawyers — something I suspect ties into an existing risk-aversion, desire for stability and personal (not political) conservatism amongst people who go into law, as well as the fact that the people I know from law school and work have entered into steady careers that make marriage and family more feasible.

But what’s more interesting to me is the reporting on the survey. The headline over at WNYC is “New York Leads in Never-Married Women.” Fascinating, sure, but more men than women in New York have never married — 46.7% of dudes in this city haven’t ever tied the knot. I don’t have time to click through every state in the American Community Survey, but I’m going to wager a guess that we also lead the nation in never-married men. So why are all the headlines focused on single ladies? Folks are saying that New York is a terrible place to move if you’re looking to get hitched, and I suppose that’s true if you’re 22 and want to get married tomorrow. But actually, it’s a pretty great place to find lots of interesting single people who spend their 20s focusing on their own personal development and interests, instead of hunting down a life partner. It’s not for everyone, sure — some people put finding a life partner as Priority Number 1, and that’s ok too — but for those of us who want to delay marriage until we’re in our 30s (hi!), New York is a fantastic place to do it. And hey, almost half of the population is single — that seems like a better chance at finding love than a place like Wyoming, where only 20% of women over the age of 15 have never married.

Also, we have really low divorce rates — I suspect because people who get married later have a more fully-developed sense of themselves and their needs and desires, and because later marriage is correlated with higher education rates, and higher education rates are tied to greater financial stability, and financial stability makes marriage a hell of a lot easier.

So good job, New York. But let’s not take men out of the picture on this one. Amped-up reporting on The State Of Single Ladies is fun because we all enjoy being terrified with weekly threats of our impending cat-ladydom if we don’t find a husband yesterday, but really, lots of women aren’t chomping at the bit for a diamond ring — and about the same number of men as women want to get married someday. The OMG THERE ARE SO MANY SINGLE WOMEN IN THIS TOWN reporting feeds into the idea that we’re single by default, and that the stats on single women are more newsworthy because duh, we all want to be married. Men, well, if a bunch of them are single it’s probably because they wouldn’t have it any other way.

Of course, I personally can’t wait to get wifed and then send my cat straight to the glue factory when I no longer need his companionship. I know I’m getting a little close to my sell-by date, but I’m really only single because no one has bought me this ring yet. Obviously.

64 thoughts on New York leads in never-married women — but what about the men?

  1. I know that you are quoting from another source, but doesn’t this seem wrong to you: “34.8 percent of New York state women over the age of 15 have never married;”

    So that means that 65.2 percent of women have married by the age of 15, as in fifteen?

    1. I know that you are quoting from another source, but doesn’t this seem wrong to you: “34.8 percent of New York state women over the age of 15 have never married;”

      So that means that 65.2 percent of women have married by the age of 15, as in fifteen?

      What? No. It means that of all the women in New York State who are over the age of 15 have never been married. So 65.2 percent of women who are 15 years old or older have married.

  2. The optimist in me wants to believe that this is the press trying to be more balanced, trying to present more issues from a women’s perspective, rather than the male dominant “what about the menz!?” mentality.

    …But we all know that isn’t the case. Sigh.

  3. The same is true here in DC, to a degree. I believe the average age of first marriage for a man is 32, and for a woman, it’s 30. And I’m a big fan of not rushing into marriage, certainly.

    Female friends who have lived there have told me that it’s difficult to find men who will commit before quickly moving on. Or to put it another way, finding a long term relationships (not necessarily marriage) is difficult. One told me she stayed single on purpose for that reason. This is only anecdotal evidence, but I’ve heard it all over the place. I suppose the caveat to add to this is that the game of musical chairs ends when a man wants to settle down and raise a family.

    My own observation is that the vast number of available people in NYC lends itself to a lot of short-term dating. I know many men who would find that appealing, but most of the women I’ve talked to wanted something much more permanent.

  4. Also, I would guess that a lot of people migrate to NYC rather than are born/raised there and IF you’re already coupled or familied its far more expensive to migrate. M and I have both always wanted to move to New York but in coupledom its hard to make that work financially (i.e., trailing spouse problem).

  5. As a native New Yorker who got married at 24, I can definitely say that part of it is economic. Because I met my wife in college, we moved to NY together and all we could afford was a place just outside the city. It wasn’t until we were married about 8 years or so that we could afford (to rent) an apartment in Manhattan suitable for a young-ish couple with 2 cats. We were on the 2nd floor of a walk up building that had 5 floors with one apt each. The other apartments all had 3-4 people living together as roommates, generally they seemed to be a few years younger than us. I could just imagine how difficult it would have been if one of the guys on the 3rd floor had a romance with a woman on the 4th floor. If they got married, they would have to move to an outer borough or suburb making life more difficult for both.

  7. Jill: What? No. It means that of all the women in New York State who are over the age of 15 have never been married. So 65.2 percent of women who are 15 years old or older have married.

    But isn’t that a weird statistic. Most 15- to 22-year-old teenagers/women would not be married in New York anyway. Doesn’t that skew things a bit? Couldn’t it be possible (probable even) that 95% of women 15-23 are never married and that 95% of women 23 and above are married?

    1. Well, no, A. Y. Even if 99% of 15-22-year-olds in NY have never married, that wouldn’t skew statistics enough to reach those rates. In fact, 99.4% of 15 to 19-year-olds in New York state are unmarried. Still, you only get such high never-married rates if lots of women in many other age groups also aren’t married. If you click through to the survey, you’ll see that 73.7% of women between the ages of 20 and 34 in New York state have never married. 29.4% of women 35-44 have never married. Etc etc.

  8. I suppose the caveat to add to this is that the game of musical chairs ends when a man wants to settle down and raise a family.

    I’m actually pretty sure that there isn’t any current legal route for a man to force a woman into marriage and childbearing against her will, so no, it does not end when a man wants it all by his lonesome.

    In fact, D.C. is a ‘problem’ dating town for heterosexual women inasmuch as it has one of the lowest (possibly _the_ lowest) male to female ratios in the nation. The imbalance is even higher at the lower-level positions where many people in their twenties tend to be. Sorry for explaining it with logic and numbers rather than anecdotes about desperate women who can’t make men love them enough to stay.

  9. A.Y. Siu: But isn’t that a weird statistic. Most 15- to 22-year-old teenagers/women would not be married in New York anyway.

    When you’re measuring who’s married and who’s not, you use the age at which you can start getting married as your baseline. If you can’t get married until you’re 15, then there’s really no point in finding out who’s married before then.

    Also, it’s likely that there are further breakdowns in the data based on age of first marriage, etc.

    And, hi, this is a national survey, not just limited to New York.

  10. I know a lot of 30+ women who intentionally put their careers or self-development as the top priority, and later regretted not being settled in their 30s. I don’t know why that is, but I never hear the same complaint from men. Maybe that is why people tend to focus on women?

  11. Jill, it was blatantly obvious that you were being sarcastic, but that “joke” about the cat in the last paragraph was a really horrible, distressing image even in the context of being complete fiction.

    Some of us can’t get such things out of our heads that easily.

    1. Kyra, are you being serious? I honestly cannot tell if you are being serious or if you’re lampooning the usual ridiculous Feministe comment sections (see, for example, the comments re: cats vs. dogs)?

  12. Look, I know there are important sociological things to talk about here, but I’d just like to point out that the ring Jill linked to is both “absolutely breathtaking and highly important” and “Certified by the Gemological Institute of America (GIA) as being “natural/fancy”.”

    I’m probably just not used to the language of gemology, but isn’t it deeply pleasing that they can certify things as “fancy” nowadays?

    Anyways, I loled. Please return to your scheduled discussion.

  13. Kyra: Some of us can’t get such things out of our heads that easily.

    I wish you good luck on finding a kinder, safer internet since this one is so hard.

  14. I knew precisely what you meant. Why do you, like many on this site, feel like there’s some sport in identifying and then attacking a supposedly offensive viewpoint? Have some compassion. When you’re wrong and someone rips into you, you’ll appreciate it.

    That is not what I meant. You didn’t even try to understand. Male/female ratio aside, DC is a very different animal than NYC. I’d try to explain myself, but you wouldn’t believe it. What we want varies from person to person, but I’ve always heard that one shouldn’t expect much lasting fidelity until it’s time to marry or at least settle down.

    In time, you will hopefully develop the ability to not automatically sneer caustically at an issue whose complexity you cannot comprehend.

    sophonisba:
    I suppose the caveat to add to this is that the game of musical chairs ends when a man wants to settle down and raise a family.

    I’m actually pretty sure that there isn’t any current legal route for a man to force a woman into marriage and childbearing against her will, so no, it does not end when a man wants it all by his lonesome.

    In fact, D.C. is a ‘problem’ dating town for heterosexual women inasmuch as it has one of the lowest (possibly _the_ lowest) male to female ratios in the nation.The imbalance is even higher at the lower-level positions where many people in their twenties tend to be. Sorry for explaining it with logic and numbers rather than anecdotes about desperate women who can’t make men love them enough to stay.

  15. DC’s a problematic dating town for lots of reasons, the female-to-male ratio being just one of them.

    I’m a hetero man in DC. I have found that it’s difficult to find women who are willing to settle down for a committed relationship, too. It’s a busy, career-driven city, and romantic relationships can take a backseat a lot of the time. By “conventional wisdom,” I should be like a kid in a candy shop with all these women ready to fling themselves at any available man willing to commit. I can assure everyone that’s most certainly not the case and dating’s difficult in this city for most anyone.

  16. Li: I’m probably just not used to the language of gemology, but isn’t it deeply pleasing that they can certify things as “fancy” nowadays?

    Did you know that there is a very high grade of tea called “Finest Tippy Golden Flowery Orange Pekoe”? Finest tippy. FTGFOP for short, which apparently gets snootily re-interpreted as “far too good for ordinary people”. How do aficionados of anything ever expect us to take them seriously if they keep using hilarious adjectives?

    Fat Steve: I wonder what effect the new same sex marriage law will have on the numbers….

    Not much, I suspect – gay people still tend to make up a fairly small percentage of the total population (which is of course no justification for treating us like crap and denying us the option), and will be subject to the same influences as straight people in terms of desire to marry. There might be some extra desire to get married sooner either because the right to marry is so salient and hard-won (or pressure in case the right is taken away again), but given the sheer size of the population, it probably won’t shift the figures much.

  17. Kristen J.:
    Also, I would guess that a lot of people migrate to NYC rather than are born/raised there and IF you’re already coupled or familied its far more expensive to migrate.M and I have both always wanted to move to New York but in coupledom its hard to make that work financially (i.e., trailing spouse problem).

    Y’all can crash in my studio!

    1. No, I don’t think you can. But I don’t think you can make glue out of people either, and when I was little my parents would jokingly threaten to send me to the glue factory when I was being bad. BAD PARENTS.

  19. I know a lot of 30+ women who intentionally put their careers or self-development as the top priority, and later regretted not being settled in their 30s. I don’t know why that is, but I never hear the same complaint from men.

    Presumably it has to do with the biological realities of women’s reproductive systems. With a generous helping of societal pressure that looks at any woman without a husband and kids and assumes that she must be “unfulfilled” and takes every opportunity to tell said woman that she must be miserable (and selfish).

    Of course, I personally can’t wait to get wifed and then send my cat straight to the glue factory when I no longer need his companionship.

    Pinkie Pie:She’ll become a crazy cat lady!
    Twilight Sparkle: She only has one cat.
    Pinkie Pie: Give her time.

  20. PrettyAmiable: Y’all can crash in my studio!

    But then you would learn our shocking secret…M snores…like a freight train. Recorded at 71 decibels. And that is why we were kicked off the “quiet floor” of a fancy hotel at 3 in the morning.

  21. As a single person I wish there had been a trigger warning for that ring link. How dare you rub such a Fancy™ ring in my sad spinster face!

  22. Wait, can you make glue out of cats?

    No, I don’t think you can. But I don’t think you can make glue out of people either, and when I was little my parents would jokingly threaten to send me to the glue factory when I was being bad. BAD PARENTS.

    The way wikipedia describes it (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animal_glue), it sounds like you could make glue out of any vertebrate.

    Also, what criteria is used to designate such a gaudy, and God-awful ugly piece of jewelry as “important”?

  23. Kierra:
    Pinkie Pie:She’ll become a crazy cat lady!
    Twilight Sparkle: She only has one cat.
    Pinkie Pie: Give her time.

    I laughed so hard the first time I heard this. And immediately thought of this site…oddly enough. It’s like reverse deja vu.

  24. I’m just glad that none of the comments on here play into those unfair stereotypes of liberals and feminists be pedantic know-it-all’s who lack a sense of humor.

    Jill, you’ve upset me with your image of your parents’ threats of turning you into glue as a child. OH THE HUMANITY! How will I erase that image from my brain.

    On a more serious note, as someone who spent their early 20’s in NYC and last 5 in DC, I can (somewhat) speak to their distinctions in dating prospects for 20 and 30 somethings.

    NYC > DC all day long for the simple fact that NY has something for everyone. DC is filled with lawyers and overambitious wannabe staffers and lobbyist. Remember how each college course had at least 1 kid that was obnoxious and thought he knew more than the professor and wanted to prove it every day in class? All those tools go to law school and/or go work for Paul Ryan and Eric Cantor on the Hill.

    There’s no DC version of Brooklyn (a stretch of U st. doesn’t count). There’s no Soho, no Village, no LES, nothing. For all the Chocolate City rhetoric, the city is very segregated, which, if you are white, sucks even harder because white people activities in DC suck ass (mostly because they entail spending more time with the aforementioned law school/Hill ppl).

    So forget meeting interesting people in DC, because all the interesting ones move to NYC (unless you think meeting more lawyers and lobbyists is interesting, which, if you do, I weep for you).

    P.S. Yes, NY is filled with Attorneys and I-Bankers and a host of other douchetastics, but they never leave the Island, so one can always seek refuge in the BK or (god forbid!) Queens or Harlem.

  25. Willian,

    Then maybe go back to NYC? 95% of what’s wrong with DC’s social scene is the roaring, earsplitting volume of NYCers whining about how much better NYC is.

    Sorry we don’t have Brooklyn. May I interest you in Brooklyn?

  26. TRIGGER WARNING FOR QUOTING THE CAT LINE

    send my cat straight to the glue factory when I no longer need his companionship.

    You know, you totally won’t have to do that anymore. Haven’t you seen the new Fancy Feast ads?

  27. Jill: What? No. It means that of all the women in New York State who are over the age of 15 have never been married. So 65.2 percent of women who are 15 years old or older have married.

    Oops. And thank you.

  28. It is a truth universally acknowledged that anyone who would trade a cat for a lump of carbon deserves to be compared to Elizabeth Elliot.

    As far as NYC goes, my own theory is that NYC is the personification of Emma Woodhouse – handsome, clever and rich, and having lived nearly twenty-one years in the world with very little to distress or vex her. The city treats its unmarrieds the way Emma treats Harriet Smith – convincing Harriet that she doesn’t return the love of the reliable but ungenteel Robert Martin, puffing up her estimation of herself and talking her into an attachment to Mr Elton, only to find (after misunderstandings concerning the hearts of Mr Elton and later Frank Churchill are sorted out), that Harriet (subject, as Mr Knightley had predicted, to all the ill effects of encouraged vanity acting on a weak head) has jumped all the fences and run away with herself into imagining a reciprocated attachment to Mr Knightley. Those who come to NYC unmarried fall into orbit, going from one attachment to a more fabulous next, eventually generally needing to recede slightly from intimacy with the city to find true wedded bliss.

  30. Willian: P.S. Yes, NY is filled with Attorneys and I-Bankers and a host of other douchetastics, but they never leave the Island, so one can always seek refuge in the BK or (god forbid!) Queens or Harlem.

    Hahaha jokes on you. I’m a banker and I live in Brooklyn.

    I’m in ur hoodz, eatin’ your organicks.

    OMG WHY ISN’T THERE AN LOLBANKERZ. I can haz bailout?

    On a completely separate note, you should check out NOVA. I banged me a rocket scientist who was living in Arlington and working out of Herndon or something. I dunno, it wasn’t a terribly deep fuck-lationship. But he was hot. Also, a rocket scientist.

  32. Willian:

    P.S. Yes, NY is filled with Attorneys and I-Bankers and a host of other douchetastics, but they never leave the Island, so one can always seek refuge in the BK or (god forbid!) Queens or Harlem.

    Harlem is actually a part of Manhattan Island, and there are a few other neighborhoods north of it, still on the island. I don’t know about bankers, but there are attorneys aplenty in Harlem. Now that I think of it, I used to know one banker who lived in Inwood, the northernmost neighborhood of Manhattan. And I’m guessing you haven’t spent time in Brooklyn in a good long while.

  33. Adams Morgan (as are Arlington and College Park) is Brooklyn-esque, Georgetown is SoHo-esque, and the DC suburbs pack plenty of great restaurants and diversity (Silver Spring, Rockville, Annandale, Falls Church, McLean, etc.).

  35. Jill:
    OMG I’m a lawyer and I live in Brooklyn. WHAT HAPPENS NOW?

    I flounce! I mean can we get a trigger warning or something here, the thought of lawyers in Brooklyn can be very traumatic for some people. Have a heart Jill.

  37. Sid:
    Adams Morgan (as are Arlington and College Park) is Brooklyn-esque, Georgetown is SoHo-esque, and the DC suburbs pack plenty of great restaurants and diversity (Silver Spring, Rockville, Annandale, Falls Church, McLean, etc.).

    Ohh I disagree with Adams Morgan. I consider it way more frat-tastic than you’re giving it credit for. I’d consider it the Murray Hill of the city.

  38. PrettyAmiable: Ohh I disagree with Adams Morgan. I consider it way more frat-tastic than you’re giving it credit for. I’d consider it the Murray Hill of the city.

    It’s much better during the week. On the weekends it’s the scum of the city; M-Th it’s a pleasant little neighborhood with some great little shops and some good restaurants.

    Though I agree that it’s not particularly Brooklynesque. I don’t know if it has a NYC counterpart (though it probably does because NYC is terrifyingly huge and has simulacra of every neighborhood in the world), but it’s pleasant enough.

  39. Hmm…

    Any time I hear about these kind of “…have never married” stories I ask myself what percent of those who have never married are contentedly living in long-term committed relationships.

    Because, you know, even before everyone could legally marry their partner a lot of people who could have married still didn’t. But they still have partners.

    Sooner or later someone’s got to start a new demographic for “solidly in committed and/or domestic-equivalent relationships.” Because I wonder NYC single vs. “single” statistics can be accurately measured without it.

    Just curious.

    figleaf

  40. Jill:
    OMG I’m a lawyer and I live in Brooklyn. WHAT HAPPENS NOW?

    I could have used a lawyer in Brooklyn last night (wife is one- she was in manhattan) when I was pulled over, on my bicycle, by three of Brooklyn’s finest, one of whom clearly had no familiarity whatsoever with the borough. He asked me where I live and I told him that I live at in (the unfortunately silly-monickered,) DUMBO. He said ‘where’s that?’ and so I just spelled out the acronym for him ‘Down Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass’ to which he replied ‘are you homeless?’ and I said, no I live at , at which point it clicked with him because he asked ‘oh is that where there was an arts festival?’ to which I was like ‘yeah the DUMBO Arts Festival.’ Then they slightly admonished me for riding my bike on the sidewalk for block and a half, (normally I wouldn’t but I honestly was not sure where to find this recording studio as I am somewhat unfamiliar with Bushwick, it was after dark, and it was really hard to see house numbers from the street,) and let me go to my final destination, which turned out to be the next building, about 5 metres down, where the two members of the band I was meeting were hanging out smoking cigarettes and watching me with amusement.

    (I realize this has f-all to do with the original topic, but since we’ve descended into humor I thought I’d share my story from last night.)

  42. The DC – NYC feud is reminding me of the Texas version of Austin v Houston (v occasionally Dallas, but no one cares about them anyway), in the best possible way.

    Ladeeda: Sorry we don’t have Brooklyn. May I interest you in Brooklyn?

    I love this and will have to use an adapted version the next time I hear an Austin-to-Houston transplant complaining!

  43. Oh well, I only meant like 75% of what I said. Some (most) of it was tongue in cheek. Like starting with:

    1) I-Bankers and Lawyers aren’t all THAT bad. In fact, I was an I-Banker, and am now….(gasp) a lawyer.

    2) Brooklyn is not the end all be all by any means, and I had Wall St. friends that lived (and still do) live in BK. But there’s at least variety.

    3) Adams Morgan is NOT like BK. Adams Morgan is where I go when I want to relive the frat parties at my undergraduate school.

    4) AND the DC ‘burbs make Adams Morgan look like the LES. Sorry –>I live in MoCo, so I can speak from experience

    Anyway, the general gist was that for a young single person, DC leaves a bit to be desired. However, at this point in my life, DC is definitely more my speed (and price range). Wasn’t in anyway shitting on DC.

    OH, and Harlem is in Manhattan?!?!?! NO WAY!!!! When did this happen 😉

  44. groggette:
    The DC – NYC feud is reminding me of the Texas version of Austin v Houston (v occasionally Dallas, but no one cares about them anyway), in the best possible way.

    I love this and will have to use an adapted version the next time I hear an Austin-to-Houston transplant complaining!

    Since I am on a roll with offending posters with GROSS generalizations, let me throw my hat in the ring for Houston vs. Austin. I can see what the Austin peeps mean. Houston is basically a giant strip mall. One of the more sterile and banal cities I’ve ever visited, while Austin is pretty much amazing. But that might just be me….

    As for the person imploring me to move to BK. Again, I don’t see BK as Shangri-la by any means, but even if I did, I realize that there’s more to living somewhere than “This place looks fun”.

    1. Is there even a DC vs. NY or an Austin vs. Houston feud? Other than DCers and Houstonites jealous of the nearby better cities?

      New York and Austin residents aren’t feuding with anyone, I don’t think. It’s not a fair fight.

  45. Willian:
    3) Adams Morgan is NOT like BK.Adams Morgan is where I go when I want to relive the frat parties at my undergraduate school.

    4) AND the DC ‘burbs make Adams Morgan look like the LES. Sorry –>I live in MoCo, so I can speak from experience

    I don’t go to Adams Morgan all that frequently, but I rarely encounter former frat types, mostly white yuppies who feign slight hipster (much like Chinatown) which is mostly what I think of Brooklyn (white, dense and yuppie). I don’t know where you hang out or live in MoCo, but in and around Bethesda, with all the science gov’t and biotech jobs, is absurdly diverse; Silver Spring on a smaller scale, but both admittedly far less than Fairfax Co. I think these places have as much or more “variety” than Brooklyn does, but I fully admit I’ve only been there a handful of times.

  46. Ha! Very true Jill.

    This reminds me about how my undergraduate institution has a fierce sports rivalry with Princeton, which is only acknowledged by my school. Princetonites (in perfect arrogant, eating club voice) would say, Princeton has only two rivals: Yale and Harvard. All other schools are beneath mentioning.

    I imagine NYC would say something similar about Paris and London being the only true rivals.

  47. Jill: Austin residents aren’t feuding with anyone, I don’t think.

    Ha, tell that too all the people in Austin who got up in arms and wrote a bunch of “scathing” articles when one Houston journalist wrote about why a lot of artists and musicians are moving away from Austin. In (not really) seriousness though, I love Austin and lived there for as long as I’ve lived in Houston, and I can see the argument about the strip mall feel of Houston…. but only if you never make an effort to get outside the suburbs. If someone actually lives in Houston and still complains about how Austin is so much better and Houston has nothing to offer, they obviously don’t get out much and have no one to blame but themselves.

    /Houston soap box

  49. ” … imagine NYC would say something similar about Paris and London being the only true rivals.”

    Actually, that would be Tokyo and London.

    Although Paris has better bread and cheese, I grant you.

  50. And just to make clear, I don’t have a particular dog in this fight, I hate most Washingtonians (and New Yorkers), and I do think New York is a better city overall, very probably the best in the world. But DC’s got lots going for it like great ethnic food , lots of green/water space, and tons of history, yadayada which lend itself to as diverse an array of dates as NY. If I sound defensive, its mostly incredulity at the claim NY isn’t as filled with assholes as DC, or that DC is SO segregated, as if NY is some wonderland utopia.

  51. groggette: Ha, tell that too all the people in Austin who got up in arms and wrote a bunch of “scathing” articles when one Houston journalist wrote about why a lot of artists and musicians are moving away from Austin. In (not really) seriousness though, I love Austin and lived there for as long as I’ve lived in Houston, and I can see the argument about the strip mall feel of Houston…. but only if you never make an effort to get outside the suburbs. If someone actually lives in Houston and still complains about how Austin is so much better and Houston has nothing to offer, they obviously don’t get out much and have no one to blame but themselves.


    /Houston soap box

    Haha, Austinites feud with people who come from Round Rock and introduce themselves to non-Texans as coming from Austin. I liked Austin much more than Houston, but Houston has got better food and a better arts scene. Although I did live inside the 610 and it all still feels like a giant strip-mall.

  52. Well, I’m in DC and I am exhausted in general. Between school, work, social events, I really don’t have time to invest in a committed relationship. I meet people but I really don’t have the energy to keep it going and plus some guys I feel skeptical of.

  54. mostly white yuppies who feign slight hipster (much like Chinatown) which is mostly what I think of Brooklyn (white, dense and yuppie).

    Brooklyn is huge–not quite as big as Queens, but very big. It encompasses far more than Park Slope, and it is nowhere near entirely gentrified. Yet.

  55. PrettyAmiable: Ohh I disagree with Adams Morgan. I consider it way more frat-tastic than you’re giving it credit for. I’d consider it the Murray Hill of the city.

    Ugh, really? I weep for the Adams Morgan of my gradstudenthood. I thought those fratty types weren’t let out of Georgetown without a pass.

    Or had all moved to the shiny part of Park Slope.

    *ducks, runs*

  56. Sid: I don’t go to Adams Morgan all that frequently, but I rarely encounter former frat types, mostly white yuppies who feign slight hipster (much like Chinatown)which is mostly what I think of Brooklyn (white, dense and yuppie).I don’t know where you hang out or live in MoCo, but in and around Bethesda, with all the science gov’t and biotech jobs, is absurdly diverse; Silver Spring on a smaller scale, but both admittedly far less than Fairfax Co.I think these places have as much or more “variety” than Brooklyn does, but I fully admit I’ve only been there a handful of times.

    I miss Tacoma Park. *sobs*

    P.S. Brooklyn is very big. You know, Coney Island is there, and Canarsie, and Fort Greene, and everything.

  57. Tina: Except for the city and the schoolwork, you sound like me. I swear, the only day we don’t have a concert or a play going is Christmas- and when the city shuts down due to blizzards or absurdly cold weather. (If it’s 50 degrees below zero, I don’t care who’s playing where, I’mma gonna stay indoors next to the heat grate with the guard cat.) I mean it might be nice, but I don’t have the time.

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