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Say Yes to the Dress: Big Bliss

Jill

Admission: I love wedding shows. LOVE THEM. Say Yes to the Dress is my favorite because even though I do not particularly endeavor to get married and the idea of wearing a wedding dress makes me nearly break out in hives, I love wedding dresses on other people. They’re so pretty and lacy! And the ladies in them are so happy and everyone cries! And I love weddings, as long as I do not have to be involved in any way other than watching and drinking champagne! It is just great.

Admission #2: I would consider marriage if I wore this dress. MAYBE.

But what in holy hell is Say Yes to the Dress: Big Bliss? As far as I can tell, it’s the exact same show… for big girls. Which seems kind of unnecessary, no?

35 thoughts on Say Yes to the Dress: Big Bliss

  3. 1. That dress is freaking beautiful. Needn’t be a wedding dress either, although I sure as shit wouldn’t have any other occasion to wear it. (Nor will I ever have a wedding, actually. Maybe I could just wear it to the store and hope it gets me a Craigslist missed connection?)

    2. Good lord, I bet you’re right about the show, and wtf. Like…seriously, we can’t just, you know, COMBINE ALL HUMAN BEINGS TOGETHER? Sigh.

  4. Actually, I think the Big Bliss edition of Say Yes to the Dress might be a nice balance against all of those “zomg I must lose weight before my wedding” shows coming out now. I mean, yes, ideally it would be great for women of all body types to have a part in the show without having a special episode dedicated to them, but I think I’d rather at least have one show that isn’t trying to convince fat people they need to lose weight to think they look great in a wedding dress. (I’m also assuming the employees aren’t going to get all snarky about the weight of the women.)

  5. God, I thought I was the only one! Did you see the one where the girl was buying her THIRD wedding dress? As in wearing three wedding dresses for a single wedding. YIKES.

  6. I love this show too! I think I just like pretty clothes. And watching how people run a store where they sell the pretty dresses! Also, watching other people’s family drama makes me feel better about my own family drama.

    That said, I think there’s two things to consider here. The first is that obviously, “big bliss” doesn’t need to be segregated into its own show, especially one with a stupid name. HOWEVER, and this is my second point, we know that designers don’t make clothes for larger women. If there’s a show dedicated to doing nothing but highlighting dresses for women who aren’t built like the one wearing that gorgeous dress up there, maybe it’ll give designers some incentive to make clothes in larger sizes. You know, get exposure on a show that even the crochety anti-wedding feminist-types seem to love.

  7. Which seems kind of unnecessary, no?

    Completely. Unless kyriarchal society had a vested interest in condoning and furthering the Othering of fat people in order to privilege some bodies over othe— oh.

  8. I would love that dress even better in a darker color, but the cream color is okay.

    Honestly, the only reason I would ever get married:

    1. Pretty dress.
    a. Oodles of pictures of me in pretty dress.

  11. There’s a part of me that thinks it’s largely an advertising thing for Klienfeilds. I actually read an interview with Randy, a stylists form the show, on why they chose to have a spin off just for plus-sizes. He says it was something they wanted to focus on because of how hard it is for larger women to find dresses and get decent treatment when shopping. Having been dress shopping with a plus sized friend, I fully understand both those points (David’s Bridal, you are assholes) and I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of the thought process behind the show is Klienfeld’s sending the message out that here a larger bride is a valued customer and will get the same magical dress-buying experience as everyone else.

  12. Huh. That’s interesting. I thought the show already displayed a wide range of body types without judgment. It definitely tends towards the skinnier end of the scale, and I don’t know that I’ve personally seen anyone on there that’s bigger than a US size 16 though. If anyone hasn’t seen the show and has netflix, it’s on instant.

  14. Yeah, the show already does display a pretty wide variety of body types. And I agree that it’s a good goal to highlight designers who make dresses in larger sizes, but it’s totally possible to do that on the show that already exists. I don’t like how they’re separating out the big girls from the “normal” girls who get featured on the standard show.

  15. Rebecca Rogers:
    God, I thought I was the only one! Did you see the one where the girl was buying her THIRD wedding dress? As in wearing three wedding dresses for a single wedding. YIKES.

    My best friend did this. I adore her but it was an ordeal getting her changed.

    It also reinforced my belief that the wedding industrial complex could easily be replaced if those of us who adore pretty clothes were able to throw ourselves a “prom” every decade or so. I hypothesize that the word wedding simply gives us permission to indulge without all those pesky concerns about being modest. My friends and I *try* to have a “Fuck It I Am Gorgeous” evening once a year, although since kids its been rather sporatic.

  16. Kristen J.:
    It also reinforced my belief that the wedding industrial complex could easily be replaced if those of us who adore pretty clothes were able to throw ourselves a “prom” every decade or so.I hypothesize that the word wedding simply gives us permission to indulge without all those pesky concerns about being modest.My friends and I *try* to have a “Fuck It I Am Gorgeous” evening once a year, although since kids its been rather sporatic.

    OMG yes! I loved prom because it was like Halloween; you got to wear this costume that wouldn’t be appropriate in many other situations. I almost got into steam-punk cosplay for the same reasons, but it’s a little too much money for me right now.

  17. Disagree. I don’t watch the show, so caveat there, but I read fat fashion blogs. I read straight size blogs too, and I have noticed that blogs that are about a variety of sizes tend to focus on the skinny girls with a very small percentage of articles about larger women. Sometimes, I just want to read about fat ladies so I can get some ideas. Having a resource that focuses on a minority group makes it easier for said group to find that information.

    1. JK, that’s a good point. To me, it felt like ghettoizing — we have “Say Yes to the Dress” for the “normal” girls, and the bigger girls have a special kind of “Say Yes to the Dress.” But I see what you’re saying.

  18. I don’t think the regular version of the show is very body-diverse, actually. Most of the women featured are thin, and the few fat women which appear on the show are usually on the smaller side. So while the effort to feature more larger women is good, I would really prefer that we be integrated more into the regular show rather than siphoned off into our own Special Version of Say Yes to the Dress. One thing that is good about Big Bliss, though, is that it features some fat women who are totally comfortable with their bodies. It’s a refreshing antidote to all of the other reality TV shows featuring fat people.

    Frankly it seems to me that the development of “Big Bliss” neatly coincided with the expansion of Kleinfeld’s plus-sized line. Then again, the whole show is kind of an advertisement for them, so…

    One thing about bridal fashion is that it’s pretty much the only area of fashion where fat women *aren’t* limited to the plus-size selection only. Most designers make their dresses in plus sizes, though we have to pay a fat tax. The problem is trying on the sample dresses. While shopping for wedding dresses recently, I found that I (a large in-betweenie) was able to fit in most sample sizes with help. Most saleswomen were very nice and helpful towards me, and clearly had experience in helping larger women to get the dress on enough to have a basic idea of what it would look like. Having said that, larger fat women probably experience greater accessibility problems than I did. It also occurs to me that the stores I visited were significantly less expensive than Kleinfield’s, and I suspect that less expensive places have larger sample dresses, in general. I may have been able to miraculously squeeze partially into a size 8 sample size (which had clearly been stretched), but no way would a 4 or 6 have worked. Given the way that classism and fatphobia intersect, I suspect that more expensive means less fat-friendly. Which kind of puts a bit of a damper in Kleinfeld’s claim to be super-fat-friendly. It’s good that they have a plus-size selection, but it would be even better if they carried their other dresses in larger sizes so that more women could try them on. They can always clip the dresses for thinner women, so it should work out. Since most designers do make *all* of their dresses in larger sizes, it would be nice if more stores actually carried larger sample sizes. Wedding dresses are one of the few items that fat women can generally get without having to be consigned only to the “plus-size selection.” Given that the plus-size selection is always smaller and usually less attractive, it would be great if fat women actually got more opportunities to try on dresses that aren’t specifically plus-size.

  19. JK: Disagree. I don’t watch the show, so caveat there, but I read fat fashion blogs. I read straight size blogs too, and I have noticed that blogs that are about a variety of sizes tend to focus on the skinny girls with a very small percentage of articles about larger women. Sometimes, I just want to read about fat ladies so I can get some ideas. Having a resource that focuses on a minority group makes it easier for said group to find that information.

    I hear ya, I’m fat and I agree with you completely. If people of size were more integrated in fashion magazines, blogs, television programming, etc. that would be awesome, but since that’s not quite happening at this time, I’m happy when there’s something for fat ladies. It’s why I was excited about Vogue Curvy…sure, some of the women featured are not plus-sized by some countries’ standards, but it’s a start.

    And the dress Jill posted is gorgeous!

  20. We have to separate Fatties from the rest of society. Otherwise, Fatties will start to act as though we are human. And we can’t have that!

  21. Personally, I would have liked it if there’d been shows and publications specifically with images of larger-sized women when I’d been shopping for my wedding dress last spring. It’s not that I dislike seeing images of thin women, but it doesn’t give me any concept of what the clothing would look like on me.

    When I went to try wedding dresses on, some of the styles I liked the most that looked great on the thin women in the wedding magazines didn’t work on my shape at all, and it was really disappointing. I’m just glad I didn’t walk in stuck on that specific style based on the images I’d seen or I would have been really sad.

    I can see the concern about segregating plus sized women when it would seem more fair to have shows with mixed sizes, but I’d like to watch a show where people look more like me. I’d prefer to watch a show specifically featuring plus sized women unless you could guarantee that a show featuring mixed sizes wouldn’t show 90% people size 0-8 like the original Say Yes to the Dress seems to do based on the episodes I’ve seen.

  22. I am on the fence about this. I am getting a sense of satisfaction knowing I can watcha FULL show of all plus sized dresses *and the way they fit plus suzed women. I’ve seen a dress on one woman look totally different on another do the size, shape and fit.

  23. I’ve always wondered whether there are women-only parties out there, where it’s just like a regular party except women wear wedding dresses to it. I mean it’s a win-win situation right? Those making the dresses earn money, and those who coo and fantasize over wedding dresses can wear them without actually having to be the bride at their own wedding. Everyone’s happy!

  24. As an engaged fat girl, I love “Big Bliss.” I want to see an hours’ worth of TV about fat girls (and only fat girls) trying on wedding dresses. Yes, we do need representations of fat people on TV to not be so segragated, but at the same time, every second they show a skinny girl trying on a wedding dress is a second I’m not seeing a fat girl trying on a wedding dress. And woe betide the network that tries to come between me and my fat girl wedding fix. That said, I did an end-run around the wedding-industrial complex and bought a $150 CK party dress from Macy’s online to wear to my wedding. 🙂

  25. Dissenting vote on the dress. It’s only great from the knees up. The terminal ruffle zone is out of control, and not in a good way.

  27. As a life-long, full-time fat lady “Big Bliss” doesn’t feel ghettoizing to me. It feels like a spotlight to me. A full half hour of nothing but fat ladies trying on awesome dresses. I like that. I also like that it’s a show that shows OTHERS that yes, fat ladies can, do, & are desired romantically. Not that you need the pretext of marriage to do that, but I like that it’s shown.

    However, some of the womens’ friends/family make me feel stabby.

  28. I guess I’m just too old–the whole wedding industry makes me sick. Huge, expensive weddings make me cringe. “The most important day of a woman’s life…” Buy all the beautiful dresses you like, but don’t buy into that.

  29. Roxie: However, some of the womens’ friends/family make me feel stabby.

    OMFG yes. On both shows. I watched an ep of Big Bliss today where if it weren’t for Randy, I would reverse-The-Ring into the TV to strangle one woman’s cousin.

  30. I had to give up the original show; the gay toadying just got to be too much after a while. It’s as if we’re only of value if we buy into and assist some standard of gorgeousness of straight women. And it probably furthers the stereotype that we’re all or mostly straight-chasers.

    Many of the dresses were nice, though. I do like to see one that satisfies its wearer.

  31. Actually, I think that the show is very positive for body images. Where else have you seen a commercial featuring larger women not only being featured, but being excited about the way they look? I think we need more shows like it.

  32. super off topic, but is there a good RSS feed for this site? The one in my google reader always has broken picture links…

  33. Actually they often have bigger girls on the regular “Say Yes” shows. It is beyond me why tv producers think heavy women want to be marginalized by being relegated to fat versions of popular shows. If I were fat I would be insulted by that attitude.

  34. I don’t know where some of you people live but where I live heavy women are the majority and the plus size departments are just as big if not bigger than the regular sizes, and forget about petites. Many stores just don’t even carry them anymore. When I questioned this in a nice department store the manager suggested I shop in the junior section (I’m 52). Given the fact that Americans, especially women, continue to get larger every year, retailers have seen where their bread is buttered – so I’m no longer buying the “there’s nothing out there for heavy girls” whining.

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