I don’t really think it’s cool to mock someone for crying easily, since I do the same thing. Good on him for rejecting socialization that says it is bad for men to cry. Granted, there’s a lot more I will mock John Boehner for, like his dreadful political opinions. But not crying.
His big tears, for he wept well Turned to millstones as they fell. And the little children who Round his feet ran to and fro Thinking every tear a gem Had their brains knocked out by them. –P.B. Shelley
“I don’t really think it’s cool to mock someone for crying easily, since I do the same thing.” I don’t think he’s being mocked for crying easily, I believe it’s the questionable authenticity of his tears that spurs these types of remarks.
Exactly, Marksman2010. I’ve seen a few feminist websites (which I read daily) saying that mockery of the tears is unacceptable for several reasons: misogyny (“only women cry easily, and everyone knows women are weak”–and so on), gender-stereotype policing (“he’s not a real man if he cries”), and ableism policing (“he must be mentally ill to act like that”). I personally reject those assessments. My problem is that he cries on the most bizarre occasions–such as getting sentimental publicly, and frequently, for tiny moments at a time, about things that happen to touch him (“The American Dream, baaaaawww”)–but shows no emotion as he talks about people who are really suffering. My biggest problem with him is that if a Democrat acted the way he does, it would be 24-hour, nonstop mockery via Rush Limbaugh, and it would be entirely, explicitly misogyny-based. I think he deserves to be criticized for his undignified public presentation. I am an easy cryer myself, very sensitive and emotional. I read him as a big faker, or at least as someone who only cares about himself. And if I acted like that as the speaker of the House, I would expect not to be given a pass on it, either.
Marksman2010: “I don’t really think it’s cool to mock someone for crying easily, since I do the same thing.”I don’t think he’s being mocked for crying easily, I believe it’s the questionable authenticity of his tears that spurs these types of remarks. A glance around various blogs and news sites, and you can tell that he’s being mocked for both–the site Jill linked to is pretty clearly mocking his questionable authenticity, but given societal norms around men crying, it seems kind of naive to say that he’s not being mocked for crying easily. Which is not to say that I have a problem with that site–it’s funny, for sure. But men-who-cry being mocked has for so long historically been based in misogyny (e.g. “men who cry are like women”) , it’s no surprise that some of us are going to think it’s kinda not cool. Jeez, the guy cries more than my 6-year-old daughter.
Being New Mexican, the whole thing about mocking someone for crying reminds me of when our Rep. Heather Wilson cried after Janet Jackson’s “wardrobe malfunction” (remember that?). Of course, then it was mostly liberal types mocking her for crying about the irreparable harm children suffered due to briefly seeing Jackson’s nipple, and much of the criticism and mockery was well-deserved whether she had cried or not. I think there is a difference between mocking someone for likely insincere tears to try to manipulate people into supporting a political agenda, and mocking someone for crying because it is “weak” or “feminine” or whatever. I fully support the former if it is done well, because I believe politicians need to be called on their BS emotional manipulation tactics. But when it crosses the line into gendered insults or mockery, that’s not okay. This website, I’d support because it is simple and links to purely political articles, it seems. If it ever implied Boehner was weak or womanish or mentally ill for it, that would be a different story.
I’m with Marksman. Not only does Boehner seem to cry over the most inane things, his tears are completely hypocritical. Schoolchildren? The American Dream? Maybe if Boehner and the rest of the Republicans would quit relentlessly trashing and opposing everything that gives ordinary Americans a break, more schoolchildren could live the American Dream. This has nothing to do with sexism. I would have the same scorn for a woman who shed copious crocodile tears.
I don’t know. I still think that referring to a man crying as “funny” carries strong misogynistic tones. If he were angry, would people treat it the same way? No, because anger is “masculine”, and “masculine” is good. “Feminine” on the other hand, like crying, is funny at best and pathetically inferior at worst. I just feel really uncomfortable when people make fun of other people for crying. Aren’t there a million other ways to criticize Boehner? It feels kind of like if someone refers to Palin with a sexist term- I obviously don’t like the person but at the same time sexism isn’t the way to criticize them!
I don’t know. I still think that referring to a man crying as “funny” carries strong misogynistic tones. If he were angry, would people treat it the same way? No, because anger is “masculine”, and “masculine” is good. “Feminine” on the other hand, like crying, is funny at best and pathetically inferior at worst. I just feel really uncomfortable when people make fun of other people for crying. Aren’t there a million other ways to criticize Boehner? It feels kind of like if someone refers to Palin with a sexist term- I obviously don’t like the person but at the same time sexism isn’t the way to criticize them!
My problem with the argument that making fun of him for crying is justified because his tears don’t seem genuine. How do we ever really know? The public isn’t always great at judging politicians. I can say that a lot of people on the left were VERY disappointed about Obama. The same people who were so sure of his inner psychological purity before, are now so sure of his inner corruption. What makes people think they can see inside a politician’s head always mystifies me. Sure, crying of schoolchildren seems kinda fake, I’ll admit… on the other hand, becoming Speaker of the House is a legitimately emotional moment. Who really knows? Psychological guessing games are inevitable, but they’re not a good place to go because at the end of the day there is no basis for logical discussion. None of us are psychics. Judge politicians based on their actions, not your projections of what ‘kind of person’ you think they are. And it’s not as if a dry-eyed Boehner would be inherently more ethical or more likely to keep his promises. The only thing special about this is that it’s a powerful conservative man who is now crying in a very public way. This is nothing but optics. This is a good thing. Now, the next time a woman politician cries and is accused of being weak or worse, that it is used as a springboard for sexism, we can point to Boehner.
Bitter Scribe: do with sexism. I would have the same scorn for a woman who shed copious crocodile tears. Once again: He should be called out on his hypocrisy, and it makes sense to see his crocodile tears as a symbol of that hypocrisy. However, it is naive to think that, just because he’s getting called out on hypocrisy, that one can somehow ignore the long, long misogynistic history of calling out men as crybabies. Even if the intent of his critics is to nail him on his hypocrisy, using his tears to do this brings with it a history. Intent isn’t magic: http://genderbitch.wordpress.com/2010/01/23/intent-its-fucking-magic/
jeffliveshere: Once again: He should be called out on his hypocrisy, and it makes sense to see his crocodile tears as a symbol of that hypocrisy. However, it is naive to think that, just because he’s getting called out on hypocrisy, that one can somehow ignore the long, long misogynistic history of calling out men as crybabies.Even if the intent of his critics is to nail him on his hypocrisy, using his tears to do this brings with it a history. Intent isn’t magic:http://genderbitch.wordpress.com/2010/01/23/intent-its-fucking-magic/ Yeah, I think focusing on the tears is stupid. I can imagine the right doing the same thing with Nancy Pelosi. The only reason we’re doing it is because we politically disagree with Boehner, and we can express that without focusing on crying. I’ll complain about his dreadful economic policies. He can keep the tears.
I think there should be more open mindedness towards men expressing their emotions. I think many of the problems that are attributed to men, like wife abuse, are because men are never really taught how to express their anger correctly. They’re told it’s not manly to cry, but it is manly to express your feelings through violence. That’s just a message full of fail. I also saw an episode of Chowder yesterday where he said, “Men don’t cry, they weep!” I think that applies to this, as it’s a sort of positive re-framing of men being emotional.