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If Maura Kelly doesn’t like seeing fat people, perhaps she should get a room and not leave it.

Jill

File this one under “If you think these things, you are an asshole, and if you publish them on the internet and in a major magazine you are really the worst human being”: Marie Claire writer Maura Kelly pens a whole piece about how “fatties” on TV should “get a room,” because she doesn’t like seeing fat people. Anywhere. Ever. But especially on TV.

I won’t excerpt it here because the whole thing is atrocious, but suffice it to say that Kelly points to every OMGObesity! line in the book. Fat people are gross! They could lose weight if they just tried! It’s impossible to be that fat and be healthy! Showing fat people as anything other than total failures at life encourages obesity! Etc etc.

There’s a post-script apologizing for being “insensitive.” But even her apology doesn’t seem to really get it. Perhaps, as a magazine that supposedly caters to women, Marie Claire would be better served by writers who don’t use the magazine’s website as a platform to publicly shame and berate women whose bodies are outside of one woman’s ideal.

71 thoughts on If Maura Kelly doesn’t like seeing fat people, perhaps she should get a room and not leave it.

  1. It’s nice that there’s was so much pushback on a standard “health crisis!!” talking point at least. Granted, Kelly wasn’t being exactly subtle or nuanced in her fat hate and there was a lot of material there to work with, but it fills me with a modicum of (spiteful) joy to read some of the “Uh, yeah, no” comments on the OP thread.

  2. I especially love how she neglects to cite any scientific data to back herself up. Like, where is the line drawn between “plump” (which she seems to think is OK, and look! I’m totally not a sizeist because I have “plump” friends!) and obese? How much more is spent on this national health crisis of obesity than on cancer? And what are the statistics on anorexia- and bulimia-related deaths, as well as medical complications due to both of those diseases?

    She seems to attempt, poorly, to use “facts” to back up her hateful stereotyping and generalizing.

  3. Replace every instance of “fat” with “gay” and “obese” to “homosexual”, and reread. Look familiar?

    Amiright?

  4. I wonder how recovered from ED she really is. She seems like the ED equivalent of a dry drunk- fatophobia, bragging about losing dangerous amounts of weight, referring to anorexia as being an “easy way” to lose weight, etc.

    I’m not saying this to excuse her, or her editor’s, decision to post such offensive hatefulness, but I really think she needs a new therapist is this is her recovery from ED.

  5. Ugh.. that made me extra glad that I have never, ever contributed a single cent of my money towards Marie Claire, and have stopped contributing to other mags of its ilk.

  6. On a more hilarious note, I don’t see the problem with “heroine addicts”– I am definitely a fan of strong female protagonists myself!

    (I hate myself every time I pick on someone’s unintended grammatical error, but this one was too good to pass up.)

  7. i’m not especially comfortable with analyzing kelly’s ED recovery process – i agree that what she said was hateful and that she introduced her ED as a way to explain/justify her hateful words, but ascribing any of her behavior to her ED feels wrong to me.

  8. um…omg.

    I especially like how she includes “I’m not some size-ist jerk” RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE. Like seriously, what is sizeism if not exactly this?

  9. EAMD, I think it’s similar to the way people say “I’m not a racist, but…” right before casually mentioning that (insert stereotype here) about (insert group here) is TOTALLY TRUE, or saying that they only joined the Klan because the robes are slimming, or what the fuck ever.

    She’s really hitting the high points, isn’t she?
    Concern trolling, “I’m not a…”, “But I have ____ friends!”, “___ just makes me UNCOMFORTABLE”, defensiveness and finally the half assed explain-y ‘apology’.

    Did she miss any?

    Next up:
    The more explain-y “But you didn’t understaaaaaaaaaaand meeeeeee” post.

  11. akeeyu- I think she hit that in her “apology”

    Guys…these people aren’t just fat! They’re downright obese!

    Oh noes! The obesity! I may get some on me and then I will faint!

    Really, I just feel bad for Maura Kelly. She clearly has more healing to do. At the same time, this kind of article is unacceptable. I’m glad to see such a backlash.

  13. It’s a very bad article from start to finish, the content, and the construction. Looks to me like they needed some publicity.

  15. I shouldn’t be as shocked as I am that that was published in a “big” magazine like that, but I am. Wow. That was seriously painful to read.

  16. Another reminder as to why I hate “women’s” magazines. And offering her half assed advice? Nevermind the other factors that contribute to obesity, nope. People just are trying hard enough. *rolls eyes*

  17. You know, looking at the picture at the top of Maura Kelly’s tired rant, I’m struck by the fact that the male half of the OMGfat! couple isn’t really that fat by TV sitcom standards.

    TV sitcoms are full of portly husbands with skinny wives (King of Queens, According To Jim, Still Standing, etc), to the point of cliche, but that’s apparently not as offensive or disgusting to Ms. Kelly as a fat man romantically interested in a fat woman.

    Hell, the mere *existance* of a fat woman seems to be the main problem for Ms. Kelly.

    Marie Claire ought to spend more time examining why Kevin James is considered to be a plausible romantic leading man, and yet the last significantly fat leading lady on TV was Rosanne, who was largely reviled.

  18. I think that picture tends to make Billy Gardell seem smaller than he actually is. I think the show was aware of how TV skews expectations of male leads and cast someone who would read as OMGfat! even by those standards. Its actually something of a demonstration of the proportional privilege fat men enjoy compared to fat women, that to be readily understood as fat, the male needs to be substantially larger than the female. Fat male characters have thin female partners routinely, but the reverse is rarely true.

    I didn’t see the postscript apology yesterday and wow. She actually makes it clear that she’s only sorry to people who agree that fat people shouldn’t be fat. She feels bad if she offended dieters. That’s it. Either she doesn’t care to know the rest of us exist or she REALLY doesn’t care what we thought.

  19. I’m a thick woman and while I find what she wrote to be extremely distasteful I also see our society as being a bunch of overly sensitive people where “God forbid” you might say something that offends someone at some point. Open your eyes – EVERYONE says something at some point (I’m sure more than one time in life) that will, has, or had offended someone. Goodness – we can’t please everyone all the darn time. That’s the problem with our America today – everyone’s gone so dang soft, can’t say or do anything without getting sued or having to issue an apology or resign and don’t say Merry Christmas or God Bless you and hey for that matter you better not be proud to be an American, that’s how far we all have taken these things. Let’s get back to reality and toughen up, it’s still not too late!

  20. “Yes, anorexia is sick, but at least some slim models are simply naturally skinny”

    “I find it aesthetically displeasing to watch a very, very fat person simply walk across a room”

    wtf wtf wtf

  21. Uh, Mandy, no one is suing her, FFS. But if you put something out there, you have got to expect a reaction. And when you talk about how repulsive it is to watch fat people kiss or walk across the room or you know, exist, it’s fucking ludicrous to expect no reaction from people.

    People will get offended and they will react. That’s life and if you’re going to express an opinion, you’d better learn to fucking deal with it and stop whining. That goes double when you dehumanize an entire group of people.

    But thanks for playing.

  22. I am NEVER going to get over how ridiculous it is when people pull the Mandy card.

    You can say bigoted things and it’s cool, but you can’t complain about it when people say bigoted things. The first amendment covers douchebags, but not anyone else. I’m sorry, I fail to see how WE have to toughen up, but you’re all good.

    But I loooove the color of that pedestal you’re preaching from. Do tell where you acquired it.

  23. Yeah, Mandy, it’s so ridiculous when people expect an apology from someone who was cruel to them. I bet whenever someone’s a jerk to you, you don’t want them to say they’re sorry or acknowledge that they were wrong to have hurt your feelings. You just toughen up!

  24. Mandy–this isn’t even about kissing. People think fat people are gross no matter what they’re doing. They don’t think fat people are even people. You have to take things in context! And with that, this is unacceptable.

  25. Oh, for gosh sakes, Mandy, get over yourself. Or wait, did only YOU get to pass judgment on other people’s actions. Jeeze, that’s what wrong with this country these days. People can’t take a little criticism. They can only dish it out.

  26. I wasn’t even shocked or hurt, her article was incredibly ill-informed as well as plain mean, but sadly she’s just like one of the many, many people who are fatphobic.

    I did think it was rather patronizing to assume fatties don’t know about exercise and veggies. Seriously? Considering how many thin people eat garbage and never exercise, and yet somehow are healthy (despite being more likely to have heart disease than a fat, fit person), maybe she should proselytize to them.

  28. Let’s get back to reality and toughen up, it’s still not too late!

    Yeah, that will totally work — groups who are marginalized by society and who have bigoted “editorials” written about them, as in this case, just need to get a thicker skin.

    Gross.

  30. On a more hilarious note, I don’t see the problem with “heroine addicts”– I am definitely a fan of strong female protagonists myself!

    LOL. Glad somebody else saw that.
    You know she’d be peeved if she found out something like that could be taken from her article — even discounting the “Um, need an editor much?” problem — ’cause she strikes me as full of woman-hate and not likely to have too many heroines herself.

  31. Chally, I ask this respectfully. If her words or actions may be a result of a disorder/illness, shouldn’t that be considered? Wouldn’t that mean that it’s possible that these perceptions of size may be out of her control?

  32. It’s indeed possible that her words or actions are the result of her illness in addition to social attitudes, why not, but the kind of speculation above isn’t grounded in anything, and I find the whole strangers making comments about someone’s personal medical issues on the Internet thing really distasteful, especially in an environment that isn’t exactly going to be friendly to her. So I say, let’s focus on the social issues at play here. 🙂

  33. I just went to the Marie Claire web site to see if there had been a reaction by their readers. Oh My, over 1500 comments. I read just a few, but those few were not happy. I think Ms Kelly won’t be writing for M Claire again any time soon.

  34. With all due respect, Chally, Kelly put her own ED within the perspective. It seems disingenuous to not assume that it could be coloring her perceptions, thus making it more gross. Not “ew ” gross. Gross as in obviously she still needs to discuss the topic with a counselor/therapist with the ability to find the root of the problem, not an international spotlight due to employment and then post a false apology. It’s not outrageous to assume something that’s not connecting.

    After all, words are all we have online. It’s our currency. And hers were hurtful for that very reason – because it marginalized and assumed an air of “concern” that read more like desperately needing validation. Bringing up her ED, which again was put forth BY her, and the context of her words is not out-of-bounds. It’s no more than questioning a recovering alcoholic’s railing against drunks in an effort to shame them into getting “proper” help while still being in the first stages of recovery themselves. She created this furor and she put her issues in the front in center. Not those appalled at the insensitivity.

  35. Yeah, Jessica, I’m aware she brought it up herself. What I’m saying is that *speculation* about her medical issues and ways in which they *might* figure here beyond that is not on, and that we can talk about the issues here. It’s not appropriate to be strangers on the Internet talking about whether someone ought to pursue medical treatment because of an article they wrote. That is well outside the bounds of the topic of Jill’s post or really any appropriate discussion of the piece. Drop it now.

  37. She writes for and supposedly about women. Why does she still have a job? No one who writes for and supposedly about women should get to disparage a significant portion of the target population, unless the intention of the publisher is to disparage women. This seems simple to me. She’s fired.

    Oh, and @Mandy: Really? REALLY?

  38. Pingback: Marie Claire writer: “Fatties” are “gross” | Opinionati

  39. Dear Maura,

    Rude, Insensitive, Low-Life, Trashy, Maura….

    Let me tell you about the “burden” of being a member of the Big Girls Club.

    I’m 42 years old, 5’8, size 16/18 and 195 lbs. I am well-read and well-educated (two traits you will never possess). I make over $160,000.00 a year, own my own business and rock Christian Louboutin’s, Chanel and Prada. I shop at Saks and Neiman Marcus, Bergdorfs and Henri Bendel. I drive a two-seater sports car and also have a completely gorgeous boyfriend who is constantly telling me what a great body I have (this coming from an Ironman competitor with 0% body fat). I look exceptionally great in a Missoni bathing suit. Yes, Maura, us Big Girls are successful! And smart! And completely hot! And we have enough self-confidence to know it. Unlike you, we are comfortable enough in our own skin to know we are gorgeous, intelligent, successful and most importantly, kind! I would be remiss if I failed to mention the incredible centerfold that Glamour magazine did afew years ago of the gorgeous plus-size models, or the poll that asked men to rate the hotness of Kate Moss, Kate Winslet and the gorgeous plus-size Kate Dillon. Kate Dillon came in first, Kate Winslet came in second and (what a surprise), Kate Moss came in last. I get compliments every day about my style or my great outlook (which, I must admit, really is pretty great)! I’m happy, healthy and successful. And Maura, darling…I can always go on a diet. What is the cure for prejudice, insensitivity and rudeness? Ummm….that would be NOTHING!!!

    If I wasn’t as kind as I am, I would take this opportunity to shred your physical appearance to pieces, but I’m not the one who has to look at you everyday, so I won’t waste the energy. I feel beautiful inside and out, which is a feeling you will never have the opportunity to experience.

    Thank you for giving me the opportunity to cancel my subscription and never pick up a copy of MC again. Have to run, time for a double-cream pumpkin latte. Hey, a gal has to work hard to keep her gorgeous curves!

    Dana Vigilante,
    Nutley, NJ

  40. I agree with what Jessica writes above–Maura Kelly’s admission of an ED is, in fact, germane to a discussion about her essay about fatphobia. It’s true that no one here is qualified to diagnose her or make suggestions about her ongoing recovery process. But I believe that Kelly’s story reinforces that social issues have real world consequences, and eating disorders are just one of them.

  41. No. Dissecting someone’s mental health is not germane to a discussion about societal bigotry against fat people. The article was not about the preponderance of social pressures to be thin. In fact, the article was about the exact opposite. Since it is not opposite day, let’s stop guessing what it means for Maura Kelly to have been anorexic and to have written this article.

  42. Chally, things like this:

    Rude, Insensitive, Low-Life, Trashy, Maura….

    is why I asked. If her words and thoughts are the result of a disorder, is it fair to put that aside and call her the above?

    I understand why people are calling her the above, but isn’t it possible that her thoughts are compulsive in nature and out of her control?

  43. Miss S she has no compulsion to write those hurtful things about a group of people who face discrimination and hatred simply for existing. She said it was disgusting to see fat people walking across a room. That’s fucked up. It’s vile and it’s bigoted.

  45. I’d probably agree that “low-life” and “trashy” goes too far, but my compassion can only go so far. There is a point when people need to be responsible for what they say. I don’t think she’s irredeemable or anything for having said such hurtful things, but she needs to be called out for it to have a chance of understanding what was wrong about that.

    We live in a society that is profoundly fat hating. Making this about one writer would be a mistake. Indeed, I think in this thread people are letting Marie Claire off WAY too easy considering they specifically requested her to write from that perspective and are bragging about the attention its gotten. This is definitely bigger than one magazine blogger. But that doesn’t mean it also isn’t about one magazine blogger, too. Fat stigmatization doesn’t go away by calling her behavior and attitudes intolerable, but making those distinctions, calling her out, is part of how we do make things better. She’s a product of a fat hating society just like a lot of people with externalized and internalized fat hatred. But that can’t excuse it.

  46. You can be a former anorexic woman without currently having compulsions to berate women for their weight. I am an example of that. Neither you, nor I, have the data to suggest that I am an exception to a rule. Even if there was a rule, you can only apply it to averages rather than individuals. As such, I think it’s pretty important that we stop pretending that Maura Kelly is a delicate little flower who cannot control her actions, because we have absolutely no information to suggest this is true. You’re generalizing misinformation about a mental health question, and it’s offensive, and honestly, a little ableist.

    So, when you say is it possible that her thoughts are compulsive in nature – and I assume you meant SHARING them is beyond her control, because nobody would fault her if she hadn’t put this shit in Marie Claire – sure. It’s possible. It’s possible that Glenn Beck and Bill O’Reilly and MRA activisits and Rick Sanchez and every other asshole with a platform have this same problem with pretty equal probability, but if you’re not giving them the same benefit of the doubt, then you have to ask yourself why. To me, it looks like ableism.

    1. What part of DROPPING this line of conversation for all of the reasons that both Chally and PrettyAmiable have brought up was not understood here? Speculating on other people’s medical issues because they were an asshole is not okay and not acceptable here.

  48. Miss S, I don’t think that is fair at all, and I would have said something had I been awake when it was published, but I live in Australia. As for your last sentence, I think I’ve already addressed that.

    So. Anyway. Fatphobia: there is lots to discuss.

  49. Pingback: Marie Claire: the Fat-Hate Fiasco and Fireback Roundup, with comments from Di | Fat Chic

  50. I’ve attempted to watch the show…but I’m not a fan. There are far, far too many fat jokes. I spent the entire time cringing…

    But one of the things that weirds me out about the celebration of Mike and Molly that I hear some places is that it seems very white-centric. Its not just W00T!! there are roles for “plus-sized” actresses to be more than aggressive, unloveable (or sympathetically loved) stereotypes. Its woohoo [said with resignation]…now white women who are plus sized can be seen as human beings. Small victory with many battles ahead (like being able to be plus-sized without requiring self-deprecating humor to make your existence acceptable).

  51. Chally- Thanks I was just uncomfortable with the name calling.

    PrettyAmiable- I was just trying to be respsectful of someone else’s mental illness, but I didn’t mean to dismiss the hurt that people feel from her words. It’s a thin line.

    It’s dropped.

  52. Miss S, I would love to have a way to contact you away from this thread where I can explain to you why everything that you’ve said regarding anorexia (including your last comment) is condescending and offensive. Please let me know if there’s a way to do that.

  54. Once I was mean to an obese person, and I’ve felt guilty about it ever since. It was on an airplane. I had the aisle seat in coach (natch), and I was in a lousy mood, like I usually am when I fly. My heart sunk to see the window seat occupied by a morbidly obese man whose body was literally oozing over the armrest.

    I worked myself into my seat, and the guy looked over at me with a hopeful little smile. I gave him a glare that just about peeled the paint off the bulkhead. His smile turned to one of resignation, and he dropped his eyes.

    I’d like to say that during the flight I had an epiphany, that I realized that whatever lifestyle choices this guy had made, he was still a human being with feelings. But I didn’t. I fished out a book and didn’t look at or speak to him for the rest of the flight. It wasn’t until the next day that the guilt kicked in, too late, of course.

    I made up my mind that if I was ever in that situation again, I would make an effort to be a decent human being and treat the person as I would any other.

  55. PrettyAmiable- Sure! I’m not sure if I’m comfortable posting my email address on an open forum. Do you have a blog, or a way I can message you?

  56. Bitter Scribe: whatever lifestyle choices this guy had made, he was still a human being with feelings

    You clearly get that glaring at this guy was a shitty thing to do, but I hope you also understand that “lifestyle choices” is also a shitty way of describing it. And “oozing” was unpleasant to read, although I have no doubt that’s what you were thinking at the time. It still reinforces that fat people are gross and ‘get that way’ because of their own bad actions.

  58. I’d chime in agreement with Jadey. I’m very glad that you understand that your behavior was rude, but I’d also ask you to keep going and examine the root of that behavior in how you perceive of fat people. I’ve been in the situation of that man and while I do fit in an airplane seat, I know a lot of people will look at me and assume I do not. I’ve gotten that glare before on subway trains and buses so I know people have thought I was “oozing” even at times I objectively wasn’t. Not that anyone should every have to apologize because their body takes up space.

    My body is also not a lifestyle choice. I’d urge you to remember that the term “lifestyle choice” is often used derisively towards gays and lesbians that’s actually a pretty example of what its a bad way of looking at fat people. I did not choose to be fat. I don’t know anyone who choose to be fat. I choose to accept my body. I choose not to fight my body. But my body is not a choice nor is the end-result of a “lifestyle”.

  60. Actually, I think the Kristen thread is a great idea. This way, we can open up the conversation to everyone who has thoughts on the matter. Thanks Kristen, and I’ll see you both (and anyone else who comes by) there tomorrow!

    Andddd this concludes my contribution to this derail! Sorry, everyone.

    @Bitter Scribe – I think many people experience similar things when coming to terms with their own prejudices. With regards to fatphobia, I’m sure I was awful growing up, but I remember my extremely overweight sister coming home from college crying because of things that happened to her there and finally thinking through how awful it must feel to have people think that you’re a nuisance just by existing. I think it requires a certain amount of empathy, and maybe that’s something Kelly lacks.

  61. A) How did that get published?? I am so glad I don’t buy these magazines. and B) That article read like it was written by a pre-teen. No offence to well-spoken pre-teens.

  62. YES/ This this this this this. Getting married is a lifestyle choice. Living in Boston is a lifestyle choice. Having a dog is a lifestyle choice. Wearing purple all the time is a lifestyle choice. Being gay- being fat- being disabled- being trans gendered- these are not “lifestyle choices.” They are adjectives that happen to apply to a whole bunch of people- people who are living their lives and therefore making “lifestyle choices” about eating bagels, going to the movies, going to the gym or not- every day.

    BStu: My body is also not a lifestyle choice. I’d urge you to remember that the term “lifestyle choice” is often used derisively towards gays and lesbians that’s actually a pretty example of what its a bad way of looking at fat people. I did not choose to be fat. I don’t know anyone who choose to be fat. I choose to accept my body. I choose not to fight my body. But my body is not a choice nor is the end-result of a “lifestyle”.  

  63. Jadey:
    You clearly get that glaring at this guy was a shitty thing to do, but I hope you also understand that “lifestyle choices” is also a shitty way of describing it. And “oozing” was unpleasant to read, although I have no doubt that’s what you were thinking at the time. It still reinforces that fat people are gross and ‘get that way’ because of their own bad actions.  

    I couldn’t agree with you more Jadey, this sounds like someone claiming to have moved beyond hate, while having a lot of work till they get to that place. If they are so guilty, I think they’d find another term besides “oozing” to desvribe a fat person. Apology fail.

  64. OMG! I love Dana Vigilante’s comment. She hit it right on the head!!!!!! Fire Maura, Hire Dana Vigilante. I would love to read more of what this woman has to say. Her self-confidence is contagious. I really liked what she had to say!!!!!!!

  65. Thank you for the article, this is the best response to this article i’ve seen. Including mine.

    I will be boycotting further marie claire mags and their sponsors that I may have purchased from until they apologize. The editor that asked her to write the article knew what her response would be. Why else would she have asked her? The editor should be fired for allowing it. Period. Its supposed to be a woman’s mag for pete sakes – not an obnoxious thin woman’s mag! Oh i guess that’s the part of the title they never published. Like those titles for operettas.

    “Marie Claire” or “The obnoxious, sizest, thin woman’s mag”.

    Which one do you think sells better? The truth is out.

  66. She wrote, “I have a few friends who could be called plump.” That’s it? You live in America & you have “a few” “plump” friends? This could only be the result of a pretty stringent screening procedure, I think–even if you work at MC!

    I feel quite strongly that this piece could not have been written by anyone who ever cared about someone who is obese. (& I’m not, btw–but I have family members & friends who are.) I have friends who’ve struggled with anorexia & bulimia too, and I would never ridicule them for their behaviors or the results of their behaviors. I just cheer them on for working to get stronger and healthier.

    On the other hand, I have no problem judging people who say nasty judgmental things on the internet! Maura Kelly is a dope.

  67. I am with Emily C: DANA VIGILANTE’s comment is the best!!
    RIGHT ON 100%! I EVEN READ IT TO MY 10 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER BECAUSE IT IS SO INSPIRATIONAL!!! I WISH ALL GIRLS AND WOMEN EVERYWHERE HAD SUCH AN OUTLOOK OF OURSELVES! When I began to read Ms. Vigilante’s letter to that bigot, I was kinda put off by the materialism for high fashion, but then I realized that *gasp* luscious ladies are so gorgeous we can ROCK EVEN APPAREL ONLY THOUGHT TO BE FOR zeros! Props to Dana V for success on every level! YOU GO GIRL!

  68. Haha, it’s always pleasing to see someone else getting as much enjoyment out of grammar jokes as I do…

    Elizabeth: On a more hilarious note, I don’t see the problem with “heroine addicts”– I am definitely a fan of strong female protagonists myself!
    (I hate myself every time I pick on someone’s unintended grammatical error, but this one was too good to pass up.)  

  69. I am also 100% in agreement with Dana Vigilante!!! Nothing wrong with being a member of the Big Girls Club and being fashionable, smart and successful too. I don’t thing Dana was trying to be materialistic, rather, I took from it that she is proud of who she is, the things that she can wear and the fact that she can also be plus-size and successful!! Rock it, Girl!!!!!

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