David Beckham in speedo-style underwear. Clearly a terrible, terrible thing.
Or that’s what a New York rabbi thinks, anyway. You should read that whole article because it is hilarious. Basically, Carl Paladino is running for governor of New York, and gave a speech that was partially written by religious leaders in Williamsburg; the speech included a section about homosexuality being disordered. Paladino then went on TV and defended the comments, saying something about men grinding on each other in speedos and that being a terrible thing (which, really, I would rather see men in speedos than Carl Paladino’s Crypt Keeper face, but that’s neither here nor there).
Then people were mad, and so Paladino apologized. Which almost caused Mr. Yehuda Levin to choke to death.
“I was in the middle of eating a kosher pastrami sandwich,” Rabbi Levin said. “While I was eating it, they come running and they say, ‘Paladino became gay!’ I said, ‘What?’ And then they showed me the statement. I almost choked on the kosher salami.”
I’m surprised he didn’t follow up with “…no homo.”
(I also want to point out that there are a lot of jokes to be made about turning gay and choking on kosher salami, but I will hold off. Just know there are some good dick jokes in there.)
Mr. Paladino, of course, had not become gay, but had announced that he wanted to clarify that he embraced gay rights and opposed discrimination. In explaining his views, Mr. Paladino and his aides noted that he had a gay nephew who worked for the campaign.
That seemed to bother Rabbi Levin as well. He accused Mr. Paladino of deciding to apologize because “his gay nephew or his family told him so.”
“He discovered now he has a gay nephew?” the rabbi said. “Mazel tov! We’ll make a coming-out party!”
Sounds fun! I’ll bring Glee if you’ll wear your best meat dress.