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Between the Cat Puke and the Unraveled Yarn

Lauren

“Heathen” is a vocab word for my students this week, so I think I’ll use it to describe by devil spawn feline, Doug. We are very angry at Doug for reasons that don’t need to be mentioned

I Hate Doug Right At This Moment

so I will instead offer a lovely picture of Pablo.

Pablo is on my list as well. This darling cat puked two times during the night and strategically placed his vomit where I would be sure to step in it at 5am.

Thanks, kitty! Don’t puke on the hand that feeds you!

Ethan Took This Picture

Ethan took this picture, and for that you should shower him and his subject with compliments. It will surely make Doug, the little yarn-eating bugger, jealous.

28 thoughts on Between the Cat Puke and the Unraveled Yarn

  1. I think the worst is when I hear the cat or dog puking in the middle of the night and know they are doing it on the bed. Gross. The cat has ruined 2 comforters by puking on them. I’m always half asleep and try to get them on the floor but it rarely works.

    Very good pic of Pablo by Ethan! Love it when you can see expression versus that blank cat look.

  2. Oh, Ethan, what a wonderful photograph you’ve taken! The way you use light and shadow is remarkable. You have the mastery of someone twice your age!

    And what a pretty cat in that picture! What a good, handsome, loved, about to be given a bowl of chopped liver, non-yarn-eating cat!

  3. Ethan is a budding artistic genius! Pablo is a mature and understanding cat, Doug on the other hand is trying to tell you to get back to knitting! I think that he is hinting at a new catnip toy!

  5. Our female, who is the avid groomer (her coat is beautiful and silky soft, as they say) is the champion puker in our clan. Her favorite times recently seem to be when I’m about to sit down to a meal or I’m headed out the door on my way to work. Timing is everything…

  6. Our Female is a nervous little thing. Still she claims her right to lie on top on us at night – she’ll sit around when we wash up and get ready for bed, looking very impatient. as soon as we are under the covers she’ll spring to action, walking around on us, meowing, boxing in the duvet, and finally come to rest.

    Some nights though shell walk around on the floor, or in the bed, complaining about – well who knows what – One night when I was woken up for the 10th time by out darling pussycat, I quickly grabbed her, got out of bed, threw her out the bedroom door and closed it.

    When I got back to bed I noticed a strange smell – I started to drift of, but suddenly felt something wet on my arms – I woke up, turned on the light – and behold – a little gift from our cat.

    As you know cats have some anal glands placed arund the anus – sometimes when they are startled, the glands squirt – and sure enough, there was a long brown – incredibly smelly – stain on the duvet. That’ll teach me to roughhandle my cat!

    /Soren

  7. Is the yarn salvagable? It looks like exactly the sort of lovely, silky stuff that would be absolutely ruined by cat claw snags.
    Around here we’ve become quite good at lobbing the cat out of the living room into the kitchen at the first gagging sound. The carpet is disgusting anyway, but it doesn’t need to be that disgusting.

  9. Hippo Cat (it actually belongs to another tenant, it just moseys in whenever a door or window’s open) was about to puke on our mat the other night. I’ve never had a cat and when it started heaving and snorting (its fat undulating down the length of its body) I thought it was going into cat labour or something – oh shit. I shoved it into the hall, whereupon it threw up.

    Now I’m kind of disappointed that we don’t get Hippo Kittens after all.

  10. Hippo Cat (it actually belongs to another tenant, it just moseys in whenever a door or window’s open) was about to puke on our mat the other night. I’ve never had a cat and when it started heaving and snorting (its fat undulating down the length of its body) I thought it was going into cat labour or something – oh shit. I shoved it into the hall, whereupon it threw up.

    Now I’m kind of disappointed that we don’t get Hippo Kittens after all.

    (Lovely picture, Ethan!)

  11. One of my fondest memories of my childhood was my Chihuahua climbing up on my chest and promptly throwing up on my pajama top. Luckily it was chunky-style, so easily eradicated.

    And quite a nice photo. Evocative!

  13. Ethan is an artist. That’s a terrific picture, and Pablo is a gorgeous cat.

    Our cat learned how to fake throwing up–he discovered that nothing got us up quicker than the sound of cat vomit. So he would make horrible hairball choking noises whenever he wanted us to get up and feed him. He lives outside now–at least until it gets too cold. He also loves to take a dump on my pillow.

  14. My own El Diablo (or Hobbes) is fond of eating the flowers my dad buys for my step-mom. Of course, his stomach wasn’t actually intended to digest flowers, so we sometimes find remnants of flowers mixed in with whatever else was in his stomach. When he starts to throw up, we never know whether to feel sorry for him or laugh our asses off at his failure to learn that eating flowers makes you puke.

    Oh, and I know diddly-squat about photography, so I’ll just assume that Ethan is a master photographer deserving of wide praise and lots of money.

  15. Pablo’s picture is wonderful; kudos to Ethan for catching the moment. It is nice to be the good cat… Ours (Max) is shameless about begging for treats, but give him too many and he’ll return them. [3 is about right, though even that’s too many if he swallows them whole as he’s wont to do.]

  16. One of the cats did that a few days ago. Of course I was barefoot when I stepped in it.

    This morning the dog had diarhea. Luckily we got her outside in time. The last time she went in her cage and that was a bad, bad mess.

  19. Yeah, how come they always throw up on the Persian carpet instead of on the nice easy-to-clean lino in the kitchen?

    I bet Doug looks really smug right now.

  20. This is timely post for me. Not five minutes ago I finished cleaning up a generous splat of yellow canine spew off my stairs. Fourth stair from the top, which means I had to balance the great hulk of a steam cleaner on the stair while scrubbing the stain with the attachment. She couldn’t have done it on the kitchen floor. Nope. Fourth stair from the top.

    But I do defer to the people with bed-puking animals. Damn.

  22. I have two dogs and one of them just got a little taste of alcohol, I was blending a dackery (I have not idea how you spell it) for my girlfriend and it spilt over. She (the dog) is just a little thing and got about a tablespoon or so of dackery but she is acting very “odd”. Finally she’ll have a real reason to puke on the floor (we put in hardwood mostly because we got tired of accidents on the existing carpet). She’s extra cute right now;-). I’ve seen big dogs actually drink a beer but she’s never indulged so she isn’t used to it.

    We’ll see how it goes.

  25. Just ask the pseudo-English teacher, the one who regularly says, and I quote, “I can’t do shit and stuff like that.”

    I maintain that feigning intelligence all day drains the brain of said pseudo-intelligence.

  26. Ooh, I feel a sonnet coming on!

    Between the cat puke and unravelled yarn
    This house cannot be lived in by the sane
    It’s less a living space, and more a barn
    Or wreckage from a feline hurricane

    Enh. Maybe not.

  27. From Wikipedia:

    Heathen is from Old English hæðen “not Christian or Jewish”, merged with Old Norse heiðinn. Historically, the term was probably influenced by Gothic haiþi “dwelling on the heath”, appearing as haiþno in Ulfilas’ bible as “gentile woman,” (translating the Greek in Mark 7:26). This translation probably influenced by Latin paganus, itself meaning “country dweller”, or it was chosen because of its similarity to the Greek ethne, “gentile”. It was even suggested that Gothic haiþi is not related to “heath” at all, but rather a loan from Armenian hethanos, itself loaned from Greek ethnos.

  28. Sonnets are all very well (I’d like to see the rest of that one — don’t give up now!) but some of us are so old and cranky we just can’t stop our brains from finishing “Between the cat puke and the unravelled yarn/ Lies the Shadow,” and then following “the Shadow” with “…knows! Muahaahaahaa,” thus piling Painful on Ossified.

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