In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

Bits and Pieces

The way people cope with racism influences how distressing the encounter is. When racism is ignored or left unchallenged, it is more traumatic.

Johnny Weir does Bad Romance.

Katha Pollitt on the Catholic Church sexual abuse.

Alice Walker on womanism, feminism, Tibet, Gaza, and a whole variety of other subjects. And she has about 300 great book recommendations, all of which I am adding to my to-read list. One pertinent quote about women’s liberation:

As long as the world is dominated by racial ideology that places whites above people of color, the angle of vision of the womanist, coming from a culture of color, will be of a deeper, more radical penetration. This is only logical. Generally speaking, for instance, white feminists are dealing with the oppression they receive from white men, while women of color are oppressed by men of color as well as white men, as well as by many white women. But on the joyful side, which we must insist on honoring, the womanist is, like the creator of the word, intent on connecting with the earth and cosmos, with dance and song. With roundness. With thankfulness and joy. Given a fighting chance at living her own life, under oppression that she resists, the womanist has no or few complaints. Her history has been so rough—captured from her home, centuries of enslavement, apartheid, etc.—she honors Harriet Tubman by daily choosing freedom over the fetters of any internalized slavery she might find still lurking within herself. Whatever women’s liberation is called, it is about freedom. This she knows. Having said this, I have no problem being called “feminist” or “womanist.” In coining the term, I was simply trying myself to see more clearly what sets women of color apart in the rainbow that is a world movement of women who’ve had enough of being second- and third-class citizens of the earth. One day, if earth and our species survive, we will again be called sacred and free. Our proper names.

Lilith Fair, the women-centric music festival, listed a crisis pregnancy center as a beneficiary of the money they raise. After pressure from pro-choice groups, they dropped the CPC — but they also dropped NARAL Pro-Choice North Carolina. They’ve kept on maternity homes that may be anti-choice and anti-contraception. Very disappointing.

Scott Roeder, the man who killed abortion provider George Tiller, has been sentenced to 50 years in prison before he is eligible for parole. He will likely die behind bars.

The Ellen Willis Archives, created by her daughter (and author and Feministe guestblogger!) Nona Willis Aronowitz. They celebrate Ellen and her work as a radical leftist, feminist, journalist and pop culture philosopher.

The myth of mean girls: The media hype around female bullying is mostly bull. By any standard, violence among teenage girls has decreased. And I love the op/ed’s conclusion: “Why, in an era when slandering a group of people based on the misdeeds of a few has rightly become taboo, does it remain acceptable to use isolated incidents to berate modern teenagers, particularly girls, as “mean” and “violent” and “bullies”? That is, why are we bullying girls?”

After getting pummeled in the health care debates, where should the pro-choice movement go? And Jodi Jacobson breaks down what the bill means for women’s rights.

Over at Racialicious, Lorenzo Herrera y Lozano writes about Ricky Martin coming out, saying that “Perhaps for the jaded queen living in urban U.S., the oversaturation of gayness in the media has deemed Ricky insignificant and worthy of our dismissal. For that frightened and confused 12 year old in rural Chihuahua, it’s monumental.”


25 thoughts on Bits and Pieces

  1. i’m a little disappointed with the ricky martin thing. i always assumed he was a straight guy righteously refusing to remove the possibility of gayness, out of solidarity.

    I guess we still have dennis rodman.

  2. I don’t understand why the authors of that Times article conflate physical violence with emotional bullying. I get not wanting to turn this into a “CLEARLY THIS IS ENDEMIC AMONGST VAGINA-SPORTING PEOPLE IN HIGH SCHOOL” thing, but the way to do that is to show that emotional violence has not increased amongst girls. Those South Hadley girls didn’t physically kill that girl, but the question is whether they contributed significantly to her psyche when she committed suicide and whether they should be legally held responsible.

    I don’t know the answer to that, and my inclination is no if only because I feel it sets a dangerous legal precedent going forward.

  3. I agree with PrettyAmiable in part. Aggression has multiple subparts, and the kind of aggression most likely linked with girls is covert aggression. That is, they use social status or cliques to exclude others, spread rumors about them, or close off their access to larger friendship networks/the ability to make inroads into the social hierarchy. Pointing to indicators of the perpetration of physical violence really adds little to the ‘mean girl’ discussion.

  4. Scott Roeder. That man has no remorse. He truly believes that he did a good thing. He says he was protecting unborn children from a “hitman”(Dr. Tiller). And the fact that this man has people who support him is disgusting to me. I wish I felt bad about feeling this way, but I’m relieved to know that he is going to rot in jail.

  5. I agree with PrettyAmiable and ipens as well. While I’m glad that physical violence has gone down, it seems to me that emotional aggression has gone up, and can be much more troublesome than physical violence. And thanks to the spread of social networking sites like Facebook and MySpace, the emotional harassment can be fairly persistent and away from the eyes and ears of supervision and parents.

  6. @manju – as someone who is gay I honestly do not understand this sentiment. why would you be disappointed? he owes it to NO ONE to be open with the public about his sexuality. I have seen this opinion often and in some places it’s not disappointment being expressed but hatred and anger. It’s so sad. Sure knowing someone in the public eye can be so good for many and teach younger people how to be comfortable. It gives them a point of reference to say; “Well, (fill in blank) was able to do this – So can I!”. Their sexuality is their business and not that of anyone else. Their privacy to come out when they want and are ready should never be asked to be sacrifices for the “greater good”. That’s too much to put on anyone.
    For those of us not in the public eye coming out is difficult enough and when we come out we can choose which people find out and when they find out. Those in the public eye do not get that choice. It is likely that once they come out to one or a few people EVERYONE will know. That would be a very daunting idea. I know that being able to choose who I am ready to come out to and when is really something special w/each person. If I had to come out all at once I might still be scared. But I knew that I got to do it in my own way. Why would I be upset w/anyone for simply doing the same?

  7. I’m with PrettyAmiable and ipens. I found the NYT article highly disappointing because it assumes the only type of bullying that occurs is physically violent. While it’s great that incidents of physical violence committed by girls are down, the article totally fails to address mental and emotional bullying like the 3 month campaign that was heaped on the girl who hanged herself.

  8. “The media hype around female bullying is mostly bull.”

    Can we get a guest post from Rachel Simmons on the subject?

  9. First: I’m impressed with Kansas. I honestly believed that Roeder would walk. I am relieved that the state proved me wrong.
    Secondly: I was bullied by both boys and girls. I would pick a boy bully over a girl bully any day of the week. Teachers know how to deal with a boy who’s physically or sexually aggressive, but they don’t know- or can’t see, girls who are socially isolating other girls.

  10. Like the previous commenters, the article on “The Myth of Mean Girls” really pissed me off because it completely ignored the topic “relational aggression” or any other kind of emotional abuse.

    Granted this is anecdata (because I graduated HS in ’85, and the term was only created in 1992) but my experience is that is that it was quite widespread when I was in school, and, sadly, I still see it among some adults. Again, this is speculation, because I can’t find statistics regarding prevalence, but I have a very had time believing that it’s decreased at all because teachers and administrators are unprepared (or unwilling) to deal with it and the aggressors can get away with it because they are not technically breaking the rules. I did find one site, however, that says that RA among teens has actually increased because the internet gives bullies another outlet for their behavior.

    I also found this article disturbing because it insinuates that the only kind of “real” violence is physical violence. What kind of message does that send out to those who survived psychological abuse at any age?

  11. I am in agreement that the “Myth of Mean Girls” totally misses the point. Bullying is about more than just aggression. The way that the most traumatic, targeted bullying plays out is an enactment of the wielding of privilege by the few elite over a person who is percieved as inherently inferior. This is why adults don’t step in, this is why it is seen as “part of life”. The myth of the insecure bully who “puts others down to feel better about themselves” has nothing to do with the reality of entitled children who are given privilege by their parents and school authorities, who are taught that as long as they perform academically/athletically/socially, as long as they are likeable and pretty and conform, they can act with impunity. They lord their white/class/beauty/thin/Christian/heterosexual privilege over kids who are “other”, kids who are poor, kids who are awkward or unathletic or queer. It has nothing to do with “cat fights” or other incidents of assault. That article is a smokescreen.

  12. Yeah, that “The Myth of Mean Girls” article bothered me as well. I had an adolescence comparable to that of the character Dawn in “Welcome to the Dollhouse” and if I hadn’t found punk rock, and an underground community away from my school I likely wouldn’t be here typing this to you. The harassment was so intense that I was often suicidal, and by being targeted by other girls I was isolated from the school population at large, it was like I was contagious with uncool, nobody wanted anything to do with me. I was alone, and I was a target for these girls, period.

    I was called names, threatened, had things stolen from me (but could never “prove” who did it) had spitballs shot at me on a daily basis in front of teachers who did nothing, had food thrown at me destroying my clothes, and god only knows what memories I’m still repressing from close to 20 years ago.

    You don’t file police reports over being called a “fat dyke” or for being shot with spitballs, or having ketchup tossed at you, or for someone stealing your calculator. I really don’t give a fuck what the FBI has to say about girl on girl harassment because I lived it. I’m almost 30 and I still cry when I think about this shit.

    We have a culture that teaches girls to attack each other, to always compete, that fosters jealousy, like the resources of love and friendship are rare and finite, and until we stop teaching girls to hate themselves and each other we’re going to have situations like the suicide in Massachusetts, and some op-ed in the Times isn’t going to erase that.

    Sorry if I’m incoherent, but I don’t need the NYT calling my lived experience a “hoax.”

  13. On a fabulous note, I just got back from a talk with Alice Walker and Jack Kornfield! Utterly amazing and inspiring. She is a magnificent being, and has an utterly fierce spiritual realist way of being in the world.

    Btw, the talk was an annual benefit for the East Bay Meditation Center, which is basically an anti-oppression Buddhist sangha in the heart of downtown Oakland. It is wonderful! Anyone in the Bay area ought to check them out: it’s donation-only (a radical, generosity-based economy), all run by volunteers, and specifically by and for people of color and queer folks. They’ve got a POC night and an “Alphabet Sangha” night (LGBTQQISGL), not mutually exclusive of course, as well as evening sits and daylong workshops open to everyone. Fabulous liberatory space, and Alice Walker digs it so you know it’s kind of the shit. 🙂

  14. ITA with everyone here re: Mean Girls. I think the article authors went the extra mile to miss the point–no one was saying that girls and women are as physically violent as men, but we are as aggressive and do bully just as much. I hate the assumption that because you’re not being hit, you’re not being assaulted and abused. That is complete bullshit. Also: most schoolkids don’t tend to report physical assaults, because they get into trouble for “fighting.”

  15. Way to miss the point on bullying. Moreover, most bullied people discover quickly that complaining means little since the bullies become that bold because they are liked and protected by the administration. When I once complained about being bullied I was punished because the bully had told the teacher _I_ was bothering and calling him names.

  16. After sleeping on this, I want to add: I am in total agreement that the MSM tends to handwring unhelpfully over “teenage problems”, and twist valid information to serve a kyriarchal agenda.
    However, the solution to this is not to say; “This is not the right way to frame this problem,” and stop there. The solution is to say; “This is a vapid discussion on an important topic, you’re focusing on the nonissues, this is the real issue, let’s talk about that and actually address the problem.”

  17. Girls tend to bring language as their weapon to school, and that’s why it’s underreported. They’re not physically harming girls, they are making them so miserable, that they want to die. I don’t see many male students doing this, most of them physically fight, they don’t use language as their main form of attack.

    Sure maybe the mean girls thing might seem mysogynistic, but it’s also very likely it’s a truth that women don’t want to acknowledge. Perhaps if trendy catfight shows weren’t on TV, these girls wouldn’t have role models for their meanness.

    A girl died because she was verbally humiliated to death. That is what should be the focus here. I’m tired of the notion that boys get to be boys, but girls are sweet and never do harm. Do you realize you’re promoting that notion, by saying how dare they suggest women can be mean?

    You want equality, it starts with realizing that if a woman does something bad, they shouldn’t be able to hide behind their gender. I heard a news story about a woman who left her cats to die, getting off because she happened to be female, and pretty. In a equal world, she’d be at the least put in prison, not be able to get out of punishment by crying.

    I’m insulted by the infantilizing notion that it should be dismissed when girls in school do wrong, or that the media should stop reporting about Phoebe Price and the mean girls. I want a world where when a woman does something horrible, like these girls did, they get a punishment just like a boy would. I’m tired of the idea that if you shed some tears and look around like a frightened child, if you’re female you’ll be able to get away with anything.

  18. Jackie: “I heard a news story about a woman who left her cats to die, getting off because she happened to be female, and pretty.”

    Before anyone suggests this is an isolated incident – no, it’s not. Women consistently get shorter sentences than men for the same crimes (even after taking into account the severity of the crime), are less likely to receive a custodial sentence, etc. Counter-intuitive and takes a lot of people by surprise, but true.

  19. Re: Alice Walker
    Really – men of color’s sexism just morphs into honoring and respecting women when they are white?????
    The whole master of the universe persona just shuts down for men of color in their interactions with white women.
    Good to know – I must have been living in a parallel universe where men of color play the race card in order to get next to me…”What’s the matter baby don’t you want my black/brown skin touching your white skin?” “Stuck up white bitch.” Which really is kind of funny since I’m a mixture of northern and southern european ancestors and my skin tone is olive.
    Also, good to know I am precluded from having a really deep understanding of sexism because of my skin color.
    Shoot – I’ll move – where is this place where men of color will generally honor and respect me as a human being?

  20. Can the next health-care fight for women be over birth control pricing? Because I don’t understand why I have to pay $75 a month to avoid getting pregnant because my insurance won’t cover birth control while Viagra is covered, no questions asked.

  21. First: I’m impressed with Kansas. I honestly believed that Roeder would walk. I am relieved that the state proved me wrong.

    Hmmm…What? As one who’s lived in Kansas and Missouri all my life, I can assure you that there was never any chance of Roeder getting off, unless it was by reason of insanity. Yeah, we have our share of thugs and weirdos, but once you shoot someone in cold blood, in church, in front of a bunch of church going witnesses, then you’re going to prison for at least 25 years, if not the electric chair. The only question was if he’d be able to apply for parole in 25 years or 50 years. I’m glad the judge went for the latter sentence too; I’m just sorry that the Kansan legislature is tightening laws to make sure that no one will take Dr. Tiller’s place. That’s part of the tragedy.

  22. Blue Jean: I’m not a native Kansan, so most of my exposure to it is through the news. From that, I got the impression that most Kansans were religious and anti-choice. I know now that this is not the case, and I am trying to discard my regional prejudices- and it’s not easy.
    I also have a very low (subterranean) opinion of the justice system, so I don’t trust them to do the right thing. However, in this case, the justice system of Kansas did come through, and they deserve much praise for that. Sorry to hear about the legislature, though.

  23. Can the next health-care fight for women be over birth control pricing? Because I don’t understand why I have to pay $75 a month to avoid getting pregnant because my insurance won’t cover birth control while Viagra is covered, no questions asked.

    Classic. On one end, the men are covered for being able to get it up, while the women aren’t covered for protection against a possible pregnancy resulting from the man’s said ability to get it up.

    It’s the age-old, men-can-have-their-sexual-freedoms-while-women-can’t-and-must-have-babies attitude, spelled out in an insurance coverage plan. It makes me sick.

    After getting pummeled in the health care debates, where should the pro-choice movement go? And Jodi Jacobson breaks down what the bill means for women’s rights.

    Thanks a bunch for the link to Jodi Jacobson’s article about the health care bill. That is the most comprehensive analysis I’ve read so far, complete with links to sources.

    It’s good to see the long list of “wins” for women’s health and rights that she outlines, but the “losses” are far too many. Logistically speaking from the point of view about the (messed up) legislative process in this country, I see why “eleventh-hour” compromises were made regarding the abortion issue– to get the much-needed votes from the anti-choice, conservative “DINOs” (Democrats In Name Only) sitting in the House– but that only highlights how messed up things really are in our political system.

    The specifics of the elimination of abortion coverage in private insurance plans make me want to vomit:

    “…women will now lose coverage for abortion care for policies paid for with private dollars”

    “[The plan] Requires every enrollee–female or male–in a health plan that offers abortion coverage to write two separate checks for insurance coverage. One of these checks would go to pay the bulk of their premium, the other would go to pay the share of that premium that would ostensibly cover abortion care.”

    I think that if people are forced to write a separate check for their abortion coverage, they should be forced to write a third check for coverage for Viagara/Cialis/etc.

    But wait! There’s more! Don’t forget about gender rating, which the bill only partially eliminated; age rating; and the 5-year waiting period for legal, permanent resident immigrants to be eligible for programs like medicaid.

    Okay, this is getting long and rant-ish so I’ll leave it at that. Go read Jodi Jacobson’s article! (Have a trash can nearby in case of nausea caused by gender discrimination in the health care industry).

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