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The True Meaning of Christmas

Jill

Oh this made me laugh:

“Dear Amy,

While attending the 4 p.m. Christmas vigil mass at my church this year, I was shocked.

I look beyond the fact that no one dresses up for church and that talking across the pews seems to be a normal occurrence, but what happened this year is beyond me.

During the Holy Communion mediation song (with only 10 minutes left to the service) the women behind me started to breast-feed her baby.”

Pssh. Feeding your baby on the holiday that celebrates the birth of our savior! The nerve.

(Although the Washington Post does seem to be getting a lot of questions about breastfeeding lately, huh?)

15 thoughts on The True Meaning of Christmas

  1. When I was in grad school, the Hillel Rabbi would breast-feed her baby in services (just to clarify things — in many, more traditional Jewish religious services, the Rabbi does not necessarily lead the service … it wasn’t as if the Rabbi stopped leading prayers and suddenly started to breast feed, fwiw): a full length tallis makes a perfect cover-up for any concerns about modesty. Perhaps if Christians paid attention to the part in Numbers about wearing fringes (and not just to certain parts of Leviticus), there would not be any concerns with women breast-feeding in church?

  2. You know what makes it extra crazy? In the Catholic churches I’ve attended, the early evening/late afternoon Christmas vigil is called the “the Children’s Mass.” There’s usually a fun children’s play or story reading at the front of the church and the little ones can be back in bed before the midnight vigil gets rolling. I honestly can’t think of a more appropriate place in public to breastfeed.

  3. I actually think it’s good there are more conversations – I think it’s because there’s a feeling at least of more and more normalcy of breastfeeding, which comes with more discussion on how to handle the etiquette. Some people are morons, but I like that it’s in the mainstream.

  4. C’mon, Jill! I mean, it is totally unbelievable that people would indulge in such a depraved and unnatural act at a Church on Christmas…this is a place that should be family friendly. Next you will suggest that children be both seen AND heard!

    🙂

  5. Wow, that restaurant critic handled the anti-nursing cranks really well, for the most part. Not perfectly, but far better than I would have expected.

  7. Ya know, Amy DID open her response with this: Would you have minded if this mother bottle-fed her baby in the pew? If not, then you should ask yourself why a mother feeding her child naturally bothered you so much.

    And I have to give her credit for that.

  9. I would add, her breast is meant to look that way, meant to seem disembodied, like a removable appendage, in order to avoid sexualizing her. So even if the ‘Madonna Lactans’ is a trope in altarpieces, it’s not meant to normalize a biological process, but to set the Virgin apart from ‘mere’ women who have to feed with actual breasts. Notice how her balloon-boob doesn’t have a partner on the other side. That would be too anatomical, and this is meant to be iconic, a symbol.

  10. I go to Catholic mass weekly, and I have on occasion seen breastfeeding and bottle feeding… there is also lots of toddlers with bags of snacks, which at least in our parish seems to be a bigger concern as we have a critter issue in the church building. There are always those who look down their nose at children in church and their need to eat and move and breathe, but I doubt that is confined to Catholic snobs. I used to get lots of looks when I would come to mass with with my then-infant (crying, fussing) and my young son with autism (fussing, fidgeting, turning himself upside down, banging the kneelers up and down). After one particularly grueling session of this, with lots of sideways looks, a young priest made a point of finding me after mass and encouraging me and letting me know he was glad I brought the kids.

  11. @Kat: Good for that priest! I am very appreciative of the loving tone my church takes toward children ‘acting up’ during services. I think of a particularly memorable moment when a young child slipped away from his family, wandered up to the altar, and (to his surprise) soon found himself the center of attention as the pastor seamlessly incorporated his presence into the sermon that was being delivered. I recall a touch of embarrassment on the part of his mother, but there was no shushing or awkwardness or anything to suggest that this kid wasn’t as much a part of the community as anyone else there.

    I also appreciated Amy’s comment about “what if it had been a bottle?” I don’t know whether or not the letter-writer would have taken offense to bottle-feeding, but Amy certainly did a good job of communicating that there’s nothing wrong/offensive about breast-feeding and that both actions should be considered on the same level.

  12. Women in my church breastfeed in the pews all the time, though they usually toss a blanket over the kid or wear a nursing cover.

  13. I look forward to having an infant. I may make a special trip outside when it’s mealtime. I currently live in an apartment in the city. We may go down to the coffee shop at the baby’s meal time just because we can. Except that I live in a liberal city and probably no one will care. I’m a little sad that medication I take may make it a better idea that I bottle-feed. I wouldn’t want anyone to think I was taking anyone’s comfort except my baby’s into account.

  14. Warning, rant follows:

    While I appreciated Amy’s suggestion that maybe the problem was with the writer and not the mom feeding her baby, this rubbed me the wrong way.
    “Many churches offer “quiet rooms,” where the service is piped in where parents can feed or comfort their babies. My church has a glassed-in room with rocking chairs expressly for this purpose.

    If your church has such a room, you could have politely suggested that the mom visit it.”

    Or she could put on her big girl panties, realize that boobs make milk for exactly that purpose, and that nobody told Mary she needed to 1. wait to feed Jesus 2. Pump and give Jesus a bottle in public or 3. Use the quiet room.

    Or she could’ve politely turned around and stopped staring during mass, since that woman was behind her after all.

    Babies have a right to eat when they’re hungry, moms have a right to feed them while going on with their life.

    Maybe she’d have been happier if that mom had let baby cry and interrupt the service.

    No wonder so many moms end up switching to bottles.

  15. I’ve nursed my kid at restaurants all over Sietsema’s turf, from fancy-ish dinner places to dive bars, and I don’t know who the cranks in that chat are. Sure, I’ve had the occasional server who seemed a little discomfited, but grown-ups are usually able to control their initial surprise at seeing something that’s still fairly unusual and the folks I’ve interacted with have been unfailingly polite.

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