In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

White Elephant

Lauren

My fam has decided to do a white elephant Xmas this year, and Chef and I have been wandering around the house trying to decide what to wrap up as our presents. Tonight Chef had a brilliant idea, “I know! Your degree!”

It will do as much for them as it has for me. Fa la la la la!*

But in all seriousness, what kinds of things do you do for a white elephant gift exchange? I have some friends that give away really nice household items, while others give out recyclable trash like a roll of toilet paper or an empty CD-R spindle. Help.

________________
* With apologies to my mother

21 thoughts on White Elephant

  1. You should do a theme-bag-of-junk! A friend of mine (while in college) did a “finals” themed white elephant, and just used a bunch of popcorn, instant ramen, hot chocolate packets, and a take-out menu and put it in a bag together. You could just take some unused stuff around your house (maybe a spare bag of sugar or chocolate chips, a recipe, and some cookie cutters you don’t use anymore?) throw them in a gift bag, and ta-da!

  2. Wait a minute….a friend actually gave you a roll of toilet paper? An empty CD spindle? Maaannn, I’d be tempted to retaliate with a toy mouse the cats took all the stuffing out of!

    Re-wrap the “Salad Shooter”. Or that rubber frog that sings “Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay”. Crap like that!!

  3. I’ve done this at office parties over the years… the best thing I got was a Pampered Chef pizza stone…. I LOVE those thing, and the person who gifted it had gotten it for a bridal shower gift and was not into it. Another standout was a set of Japanese restaurant drink glasses — the really tacky ones, not the nice ones. That produced a heated exchange. I did not get it. I was sad. My contribution last year was a gift set of Charlie perfume I had received from my ex-mother-in-law. She meant well… but… Charlie? We have this one object in our office — an enormous vase that is set on top of a deer with antlers — that makes the rounds every year. It is a tradition.

  6. The best kind of White Elephant gifts honor the sentiment – something that /should/ be good, but in a backhanded way. A big sack of pennies (who doesn’t want money? but… it’s pennies…) a bottle of shitty alcohol (we gave a mason-jar of moonshine… it’s booze, but… eh…), a blockbuster movie…. that has to be returned. (I like to give Shaft. I feel the title adds a little something.)

    Happy Hunting!

  7. my understanding is that white elephants are things that you don’t want, but others might. Go around your house and find things that you might give to goodwill — i.e. still good and functional, but you don’t want, need, or have room for. Maybe you somehow ended up with an extra set of computer speakers, or have some DVD’s that you decided you don’t like as much as you thought you wood. Bringing a stack of VHS tapes technically fits the bill, for example, but is kind of a shitty thing to do–unless you know someone there is refusing to give up on their tapes.

  10. Go one better, cacophanies! How about a real, living white elephant? (Given, they’re not actually white, it’s just a set of special characteristics that an elephant whisperer can divine.) Just be careful, as they technically all belong to the king, and you’d be in pretty darn hot water if they catch you hauling one off.

  11. The best thing to do is give something that at first glance appears great, but is actually a huge pain in the ass; like a video game for a system they don’t own.

  12. My partner and I go to the “As Seen on TV” aisle in CVS. Last year we brought a giant remote and a ped-egg to our white elephant. They were definitely the most sought-after gifts. What about a knock-off Snuggie? Or a Bump-It for making your pony-tail look celebretastic?

  15. Two words: Buddy Jesus.

    Or Pez. Pez is always good. 😉 Though I like Renee’s suggestion of a Pet Rock–you could include some twine and call it a leash.

  17. One of those stamps that lets you burn words into your toast. Or what I gave my dad the year before last – a nunchuck. Which is a little gun that fires a plastic nun across the room.

  18. If you’re going to buy something rather than giving something you already have, maybe buy them a (white) goat at Heifer International? It’s useless to them, and like an elephant it is a living animal. Unfortunately Heifer doesn’t have elephants available, so it would be the next-best thing.

  19. Last year for the office white elephant exchange I gave away a (large) gift bag full of half-burnt tealight candles and hotel-sized lotions, shampoos, etc. It was hilarious… and I got rid of a bunch of junk that was around the house!

Comments are currently closed.