In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

This is for girls, this is for boys.

You know what’s fun? Where fun equals needless and bizarre? Particular products, apparently picked at random, being marketed as just for the dudes. I mean, we are all probably familiar with companies making special pinkified versions of their products for the girlies, like tools! and tape! and… earplugs! (Lots of gendered goodness through that Sociological Images link, thanks to @Chromiee on Twitter for it.) But let’s delve into the differences in how gender is here enforced for men and women.

For instance, tissues. I’m not certain that tissues need to be gender specific, but apparently Kimberly-Clark, manufacturers of Kleenex, are.

Last year, I was casually walking down an aisle at my local supermarket when a tissue box caught my eye. ‘Ooh,’ I thought. ‘Giant tissues. I would like some of those.’ I took a closer look at the box. Lo and behold, the box said ‘MAN-SIZE tissues’ in big manly letters. Not for me then. Pardon me for asking, but do the rest of us not sometimes get a lot of snot and not want to bother with tiny little tissues only good for three blows? Or is it only manly men who blow out large manly chunks of dead cells from their noses who merit MAN-SIZE tissues? Do the tissues come extra tough for an extra masculine blow? Not only that, but the two box patterns one could choose from were cricket equipment and an old-style map of the world. So, what, playing sport and exploring are for men then? Just… why?

So, because I was a bit amused and because I am a Scary Feminist™, I took down the number Kimberly-Clark provided on the box for feedback. I called them up, feeling a bit silly, and told the woman on the customer service line about misogyny and compartmentalising and cricket and marketing and assumptions and I want giant tissues, too! I must have gone on for a while, because:

‘So, what exactly is your complaint?’

‘Uh. The packaging and the man-size messaging is full of misogynistic messages. If you changed those things, it’d be really good and it’d invite women to buy your product.’

‘Okay. Thanks for calling. I’ll pass that along to the marketing team. Thank you very much.’

The tissue boxes are still in my supermarket, if you were wondering.

The point is: when it comes to gendering non-gendery products, womanhood (and femininity! because they are the same thing!) is so often coded as bad. And it’s not just women who get hurt by this sort of thing; there is never any room for non-binaries in this world of rigid binary gendering. This is just another way to keep anyone who doesn’t conform to binary gender out in the cold.

The girlie versions of these products are coded pink and sparkly and such by way of setting girls and women up as a subgroup. We need special things set aside for us, because the things for regular people (read: men) just won’t do. It’s that idea of the default human again, which we see in medicine and sport (it’s always pointed out when it’s a women’s cricket team, because “cricket team” itself is always male) and all sorts of areas in society. We are a special subgroup for marketers to exploit.

Dudely versions of these products don’t cater to men as a special subgroup. The dudeification of products – that is, where it’s a case of specifically targeting products at men and boys rather than just assuming only men would by this stuff – relies on the disparagement of women. No girls here, we have manly products, you don’t want to be associated with that girly girl crap! Sometimes it’s merely in the unnecessary exclusion of women. That’s the case with Nutrigrain cereal being marketed as Iron Man food, which will help boys grow up big and strong (because that’s what you always want as a man, and never as a woman, right?). Then there are companies that like to make it explicit. For instance, you can go check out the charming Yorkie chocolate bar featured over at Shakesville the other day (with the slogan ‘it’s not for girls!’). Then you have the violent and full-on hateful; Cara blogged on rape-promoting pencil sharpeners back in 2007. Women can be used just as one pleases, from exclusion to counterpoint to objects on which it’s just fine to spill one’s hate.

It’s about setting women on the outside: women are to be a subset of humanity, to be catered for specially or to be the standard of that which the real people ought not to want to be. And, as ever, those who don’t fit the sex/gender binary don’t exist. Excuse me while I go dig out my old handkerchiefs.


33 thoughts on This is for girls, this is for boys.

  1. Great post. This would be a real pet peeve of mine, if it was at all petty instead of TOTALLY INFURIATING. And it’s gotten much worse since I’ve had a kid. I struggle to even find a toothbrush for my daughter which isn’t either blue with trucks or pink with flowers.

  2. A few years ago I went shopping online for a digital watch with all sorts of cool functions. I am female, 5’3″, small boned; so most digital watches are simply too big. I finally located a female-sized digital watch, and the frakker was pink!

  3. (Dear everyone who is thinking about man-size tissues and masturbation: I know, and decided I’d quietly leave that out of the post, and think the point still stands. Carry on.)

    Spilt Milk: I know, and it feels like the sort of thing that should be a pet peeve, but it just ends up being so ridiculous…

  4. Your post is bang on. And beautifully written.

    You are quite right to point out that “pinkification” and “dudeification” both hinge on Othering women and girls as “less than”. And as others have noted, it seems to be on the rise compared to what was going on one or a few decades ago. It’s as if the patriarchy (i.e., the Man-trix) is alarmed that little girls and boys aren’t being properly socialized into their gender roles and, therefore, believes drastic measures are needed to turn everything either girly-girly or manly-manly. Plain ridiculous.

    Love the expression Scary Feminist™. Will start using it also, with your permission (though asking permission isn’t very scary, I suppose).

  5. There are two distinct factors underlying this pattern. One is simply the choice effect. Offer two superficially different alternatives and customer will buy more. Gender roles are an obvious source of superficial differences for lazy marketers. It’s hard to muster an organized protest against this one because “girls like pink, boys like blue” seems, on the face of it, rather harmless and silly.

    The other is more pernicious. Companies can exploit gender role enforcement to gain more of a competitive advantage than those who don’t. Put some cartoon characters on your sandwich bags, and a parent might buy a box as opposed to one of a competitor’s brand, but paint some pink and some blue and that parent might buy two. It’s hard to muster a protest against this one because the parent in question doesn’t buy more sandwich bags (or whatever) total, and thinking about the less obvious ways in which they (and their children) are being exploited by that sort of marketing would probably make them uncomfortable.

  6. My grandmother ALWAYS bought huge tissues, which she called “gentleman’s tissues.” I wonder if she had heard/read that somewhere or if she independently associated big tissues with dudes. Anyway, the boxes she bought were plainly designed and fairly ungendered. So there is hope for the snot-full among us.

  7. Hahaha, I blogged about both Man Tissues and those Yorkie bars when I studied abroad in England (I’m an American). The tissues I saw were Kleenex brand, but I’m “glad” to know other brands are getting in on the action, too. Funnily enough, one of the most common patterns on the gender-neutral Kleenex boxes that my parents bought when I was growing up was a map of the world.

    On a side note, I can’t imagine seeing either those Man Tissues or those Yorkie bars in American supermarkets (well, I mean, I can imagine it, but it seems unlikely). Is there a reason for that? Is it just because I’ve lived in a very liberal area all my life (until a few months ago), or because the US has a stronger feminist movement, or is it that the US is just more litigious and someone would get sued, or what?

  8. I don’t know why you wouldn’t expect those in American supermarkets. We have “Hungry Man” frozen dinners, and one of the cola companies tried a rather extensive advertising campaign for diet-but-we-won’t-call-it-diet-’cause-that’s-feminine soda for men that was ridiculously offensive. Happens all the time.

    I file this crap under ‘patriarchy hurts men too.’

  9. lol, I bought those earplugs when I went on my trip a few weeks ago! That exact box!

    And I took them with me on the trip and then like, I never wear earplugs & I tried them out and I just, didn’t like the way they felt. So I didn’t even use them. But my boyfriend was with me, and he took them home, and he uses them at – of all places – the gun range!

    We also bought some Pocky and that’s always fun… it’s this cookie and I was like “I want a box of milk coated ones & a box of strawberry ones” and he wanted to get a box of MAN Pocky. For men. But the store didn’t have any.

  10. Huh. In Malaysia, when they sell facial products for MEN, it’s usually the same stuff they’re selling for everybody else, but with added menthol.

    Which is a wonderful delight when you have delicate skin that burns when you put chemical irritants on them. I don’t even know why they do that.

  11. I’m not being ironic when I say this, but I always go for the pink products.

    Of course, in Mary Kay, it’s the opposite: the main products are primarily for women, and then there’s the men’s products which are essentially the same but in blue and silver packaging instead. That’s mainly because most men aren’t really that inclined to wash their faces and put on a whole slew of lotions in the first place, let alone ones that come in pink packaging. (I know this because, even though he’s 100% behind my business and wants to reap the rewards of me doing well, the only way my boyfriend will use any of the products is if I make him.)

    And while yes, it is sexist to call the big tissues “man” sized — when you have a MANLY cold, use a MANLY tissue — and yes it probably is unnecessary to have gendered earplugs, sometimes it’s funny. Sometimes it’s fun. And when I’m sick, I want a pink box of tissues, dammit, because pink things make me feel better. Not everyone feels that way, though, which is why there are gender-neutral tissue boxes that have birds or swirls of green or beige.

  12. This sort of thing really does cut both ways, though in the end it’s always the women who get the worst of it.

    I know that a lot of male-branded products are to assuage straight men’s fears of the insta-gay. This is particularly true of the American male, who is obsessed with not wanting to appear gay. Nothing can be dainty, delicate, or frivolous: everything must be utilitarian, rugged, and if left on the table, seep an oily masculinity that reeks for days. This has a direct effect on what products are available to men. For the most part, this works okay for me, since I have a generally masculine tendencies anyway. It’s a pain in the ass when I have to buy clothes though- especially on the cheap.

    I’m not really a clothes-horse by international standards (working with corrosive chemicals means I can’t have nice things), but it would appear simply being what I consider “well-dressed” is suddenly license for people to question your sexuality in the US. I’ve actually known other men who have used the exact phrase, “I don’t want to look like a metrosexual- that’s way too close to homosexual.” As if wearing a certain kind of jacket will suddenly make you want to stick your tongue down another man’s throat. I’m of course not paranoid that I’ll be considered gay (the horror!), but reduced choices means that unless I want to shell out more than I can generally afford, or spend way more time shopping than I care to invest- my options are pretty limited.

    It took me a second to understand the Kellogg’s “Iron Man” thing. Actually and IANAL, I think Kellog’s could get sued for using “Iron Man” in their branding when there’s a company (The World Triathlon Corporation) that has trademarked the name (they sold their endorsement to Cliff’s) I was going to say that it’s just the name of the bullshit corporate branding and seals-of-approval and then I clicked the link and found I was way off. Of course we could talk about the term “Iron Man” itself, I suppose.

  13. Don’t forget Neutrogena men’s “face lotion”. Because dudes don’t wear moisturizer. That’s girly.

  14. Maddening heteronormative gender socialization aside, save a tree & use cotton handkerchiefs instead.

    Right, because in a gendered patriarchal society that dumps all the housework on women disproportionately, it will be infinitely better for women to have huge quantities of actively germ-containing laundry to either do very very frequently or else leave around their house to infect people because they don’t have time to wash the handerkerchiefs constantly.

    Screw the trees, save the women. You can grow a new tree, and tissue is practically the most biodegradable substance known to man, but women can’t get the time they spent washing laundry back, ever.

  15. My personal favorite are the black shower poofs. Because a shower poof might be girly, but if it’s black, well…

    One area of toys that I get really frustrated with is the Special Pink Version. You’ll have a toy kitchen (girls and boys both show playing!) in browns and greens, the toy work bench (girls and boys both shown playing!) in reds and blues. And then along the side, a pink version of same. It’s like if we show boys playing in the toy kitchen, we have to segregate girls again by offering them a pink version. What the heck?

  16. It’s extra bad for kid toys.

    I went into Toys R Us once, and asked for a toy medical kit (fake stethoscope, thermometer, etc.) and was informed that they only had girl ones, not boy ones. The difference of course was pink vs. blue.

    If you go to Target’s website (and I am sure they are not the only ones), two of the categories to browse by are girls and boys toys. The first page of girl toys is all dolls and figurines, the boys includes legos, remote control cars, and nerf guns.

  17. My personal favorite are the black shower poofs. Because a shower poof might be girly, but if it’s black, well…

    I’ve been in England waaaay too long…. I just read that and snorted tea out my nose before re-reading and realising you meant the plastic, puffy, foaming things.

    I worked in a 2nd-hand book store for years and we would get boxes and boxes of these cheap, sparkly pink and blue books for little kids. The policy was to send those directly for recycling sight unseen because they wouldn’t be worth the time it took to process and shelve them. They made all the other books shelved by them look cheap and they never really caught the children’s attention. We could never figure out who bought them in the first place. I always felt like I was subverting the patriarchy when I chucked them.

  18. That’s weird – I’ve only encountered the giant tissues in the UK. There, the Kleenex brand ones are called “family sized”. I commented to my Scottish partner that the branding is sort of meaningless – does the whole family share a tissue? – and she said they used to be called “man sized”. Then we laughed at the sexism of yore. Silly us.

    Reading this made me think about those ads for Axe shower gel, where the loofah is called a “detailing tool” and the soap smells like skydiving. Bizarre.

  19. My personal favorite are the black shower poofs. Because a shower poof might be girly, but if it’s black, well… Axe did you one better! About a year or two ago they released their men’s “shower detailer.” It’s basically a shower poof that looks kind of like the fancy sponges you would use to wash a very nice car. The commercial even featured a guy being ran through a car wash like corridor where he was washed by sexy ladies with “detailers.” I do believe Axe was also behind a men’s exfoiliating body wash that they named “Snake Peel.” Because men can’t wash away dead skin cells unless a manly word like snake is thrown in the mix. The commercial for the snake peel was awful. There were several, but the one I recall featured a man realizing he just slept with an older woman in dominatrix gear. He had to use the snake peel to wash off the shame of daring to sleep with an older dominate woman was basically the thrust of how the product was sold.

  20. I bought one of those Yorkie bars once in a fancy deli with imported candy. The woman at the register actually congratulated me for having the gumption to buy it. I found it disturbing. Also, it tasted foul. Cheap, sour chocolate. Awful. All genders should avoid.

    Also, the Apple App Store has a special add running right now called “Apps for Boys”. It includes things like…math games. Who can I punch for that?

  21. Having two daughters and a son makes me really sensitive to just how easily kids absorb the nonsensical gender rules. It didn’t get bad with my oldest daughter until she hit about kindergarten age, then everything was “girl stuff” or “boy stuff”.

    I help them to see that they can enjoy whatever they happen to like as best I can, but it’s tough to beat what they hear from friends. I’m at least doing well enough that my daughter is unashamed to play in the dirt and isn’t completely stuck in the stereotypical little girl’s role.

    I was quite relieved when we signed her up for karate class, and the sensei was a woman. Really helped her to consider it something girls could do.

    We don’t buy anything gender color coded if we can help it. Not always easy in children’s toys, but we do what we can.

  22. On shower poofs: I had a shower poof, it was just a teal color or something and I lost it, no big deal it was getting worn out anyways. Put it on my gift list for some holiday, can’t remember which, and my parents got me the obnoxious “Axe Body Tool” of “Shower Detailer,” whatever the name is. I still use it cause it is just a shower poof after all, and the scrub part is nice for when you need a lot of ex-foliation. But really it was amusingly annoying. I have since told my parents never to buy me Axe products.

  23. I did a post a while ago on the Axe shower detailer ad. Everytime it comes on I find myself saying to the television in incredulous tone “but, it’s just an exfoliator!” to which my boyfriend (sarcastically) responds, “no, exfoliators are for women. Men use shower detailers”.

    And while I really like this post, the nonsensical part of my brain now desperately wants a box of tissues with a map of the world on it. I really hate all the flowery nonsense. Oh, but they’re man tissues. Right.

  24. wow. I think they are taking the gender issues alittle too far.
    Man tissues? All the guys i know dont even blow their nose!…well maybe thats because the ones we have are too feminine?

  25. My pet peeve: when you buy a kids meal at a fast food place, they often ask if its for a boy or girl. God forbid if a girl gets a lego or a boy gets a play horse.

    The marketing by color to some families really works. My neighbor two doors down won’t buy just one set of blocks or dominoes or whatever for their kids. The girl gets the pink and purple edition, the boy gets the football / red / black edition. In everything. Baggies, cereal, baseballs, whatever.

  26. I agree with much of what’s been posted already. I think a lot of this depends on whether the product itself is stereotyped as “feminine” or “masculine” to begin with rather than a general patriarchal influence. The examples of pink workbenches and “shower detailers” illustrate that well – workbenches are inherently “masculine”, exfoliators “feminine”.

    Regarding the man-sized tissues – could it be as simple as men in general having larger noses? 🙂

    With other things mentioned, I don’t think it’s as much sexism as playing on inherent gender biases within individuals. If you want to target a male market, you advertise as big, strong, etc. If you want to target a female market, you advertise as soft, delicate, etc. It’s no more or less sexist to assume women won’t want something big and strong than it is to assume men won’t want something soft and delicate.

  27. I think it’s very funny that tissues are so marketed. Really, when I need to blow my nose, I just grab whatever tissue happens to be nearby.
    Axe is so stupid. I don’t know why guys use it. It smells awful, and all the commercials are so sexist.

  28. I have a 4 yo daughter and try hard not to put her in the path of gender-specific marketing whenever possible. Last week I drove through McDonald’s to get myself a coffee – she wasn’t with me but I decided to purchase a toy for her because she always loves their little toys. I said “what toys do you have for kids this week?” The guy taking my order said “is it for a boy or a girl?” I said “well I just want to know about both toys so I can decide which one I want.” This apparently shorted out his brain or something because he just kept saying, with growing impatience, “BOY or GIRL??” and I kept saying (politely) “can you just tell me what the toys are, sir?” – but apparently he couldn’t so at some point I just gave up and said “girl.” It was really quite absurd, though. Surely he could have at least said “the boy toy this week is X and the girl toy is Y”, but no, in his mind the ONLY thing he was allowed to ask me was “GIRL OR BOY”.

  29. I don’t disagree at all with the offense taken at the way the genders are identified, but it’s worthwhile to think about WHY Kleenex (or whoever) feels the need to do this. It’s not that they think that people care much one way or the other; it’s simply to have more products so they can take up more shelf space.

    Shelf space in a supermarket is a zero-sum game; if Kleenex introduces another product that gets adopted on store shelves, it means something else gets pushed off. Nowhere is this practice more clear than in the toothpaste aisle, where a handful of companies each offer dozens of varieties of toothpaste. In practice, it’s the smaller companies that get pushed off, so it’s an effective way for large companies to consolidate their market share and drive off competition without having to compete on price.

    The nice thing (for marketers) of gendered items like these is that if you take out the gender-neutral option, the supermarket really has to carry both; to only carry one or the other would be seen as odd. So Kleenex is able to double its claim on retail real estate, simply by designing a second box.

    Plus us men have man-size boogers, and need tissues tough enough for a masculine sniffle.

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