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Recollecting and collecting ourselves

Chally

I watch how those around me do activism, and I wonder about how to serve ourselves and the world better. I so often see people hurtling along, trying to cram in as much as possible, falling apart, hitting the dust. I have no problem with trying to do as much social justice work as possible; what an immensely valuable thing to do. But I think we can do it better, and leave ourselves a little more intact at the end of the day.

How often do you stop and reflect on what work you’ve done? I think it’s not only important to do so in terms of assessing how well you’ve been doing, but as a feminist action in itself. So much of what women do – in the workplace, in conversation, traditional “women’s work” – is so devalued that taking pride in one’s work as an activist is in itself a very feminist action.

I take the time to affirm myself and my work, and to determine what needs to be done to move forward. So I ask myself: What have I been doing? (Stop and acknowledge.) What’s the difference between that and what I thought I would do? What are my near goals? Where do I go next? And what does all this mean to me and the world?

So stop and reflect on your work with me.

(For anyone worrying they’re not “real” activists, I would encourage you to broaden your view of what activism can be. Calling people out, centring marginalised voices, buying ethically…)

[Cross-posted at Zero at the Bone]

9 thoughts on Recollecting and collecting ourselves

  1. Oh Amen to this!!! I was at the National Sexual Assault Conference a few months ago and had the extreme good fortune to hear an amazing activist (Laura Van Dernoot Lipsky) talk about doing social justice work, or any work where you are exposed to human suffering and trauma, or even animal or environmental trauma, to foster mindfulness practice and work from a place of personal liberation rather and joy. She wrote an amazing book on her journey from total burnout to rejuvenation and joy called Trauma Stewardship and it is AMAZING. She realized she couldn’t continue working the way she was when she had gone with her family to visit family in on a Caribbean island and they hiked to a gorgeous cliff overlooking the sea. Her first thoughts were to wonder how many people had killed themselves jumping from those cliffs, if there was a trauma 1 center in the islands, if they all shared the same helicopter, etc and was surprised when she thought these things out lout and not only were others not thinking this but responded with compassionate concern that her trauma work was really getting to her. She also talked about how we are never going to interrupt the systems of oppression that we fight so hard against if we continue to work at it from a place of being oppressed and feeling like we are never going to do enough ourselves…i SOOO cannot do her justice.

  2. What a great post, Chally. I’ve been thinking a lot about what kind of work I do as an activist, and more specifically, as an activist with a disability. I see a lot of talk among able-bodied/minded/neurotypical folk that “internet activism” is not activism at all – and they fail to see how very ableist that is. Most of my activist work is done online; most recently, I started my blog, but before that I would write in my LJ, or communicate my ideas in other disability/feminist/WOC blogs. My words are my activism because I can’t physically attend rallies or protests.

  3. It’s very hard to stop and acknowledge what we have done, most especially for two reasons: first, that things women do are not seen as particularly valuable, particularly if they are “feminist” things done for other women; and second, because as activists AND women we are constantly told that we should be/do more, more, more.

    Because of this I have a hard time recognizing that what I do is valuable, because I can’t do that much real-world stuff. I’m with Erin there. My words are what I have to give, and there is value in that.

    I often explain to people that it’s not my self-imposed duty to go out and engage people who disagree with me to help change their minds. It’s my self-imposed duty to help people who agree with me find their voice and learn to speak up for themselves. That’s the power that words have, and that is IMMENSE power.

  4. I’ve had enough people tell me that things I’ve written, mostly about rape and rape culture, but also about male privilege and gender inequality in parenting and feminist parenting and gender in media, have actually made a difference for them that I’m finally starting to believe it. Teaspoons, to be sure, but there’s a tidy handful of men out there who have genuinely changed because of what I’ve written, and a slightly larger handful of women who’ve found community and support in my writing. It simultaneously lifts me up and humbles me.

  5. Yes, too many activists end up fighting too many useless fights and don’t see any results, but still continue and turn unhealthy.
    Those that can change might change, but some people are unchangeable and they should not kill your esteem for social justice.

  6. I’ve never really considered myself an ‘activist’ – even now, though I can look at it objectively and see that that is what I am – and what I have been for many years now. The battleground has moved from arena to arena, but the mission of Freedom has never changed. I went to jail for selling pot when I was 18, and after that there was no shutting me up about the injustices done to people in the name of “religion and morality” and today I fight for freedom from that same religious and moral oppression but now instead of the drug war, I fight for the rights of sex workers. Back when it was about drugs, it was a lonely lonely place to be, and now, everyone pretty much agrees that it’s a huge costly oppressive, destructive failure – not that much of anything has changed… well except for people’s opinions that is – but that is the most important thing, after all, isn’t it?

    To be honest, I don’t see us getting anywhere anytime soon, as far as freedom for women. We’re losing ground at an astonishing rate, across the entire world, especially across the entire world… To me, it seems like the Handmaid’s Tale is just over the horizon, and sometimes I feel so desperate to be heard before it’s too late. We need to fight for all freedoms. Reproductive, and sexual, but we don’t, we fight for reproductive freedom, and fight against sexual freedom- and I don’t mean the freedom to enjoy sex, I mean the freedom to employ sex – and if we are fighting to oppress ourselves, to take away freedom from ourselves – we can’t expect anyone else to stop taking away those freedoms either. They used to use the spectre of “drug trafficking” to control and terrorize, and now, it’s a different kind of trafficking that is the spectre, but the reason for it is still the same.

    I realized the other night, and it made me so sad, that all the hope I had when I was younger, that “any day now, things will change” – well I realize that I probably won’t live long enough to see that change come to pass. But still, I’ll write, and I’ll speak out, because even after I’m dead my words could still change minds…
    ======

    And I’ve never had the feeling that what women do isn’t valued. I’ve always felt it was valued more than anything men ever did, or maybe what women do is just more valued by me, so I have a bias. Men may build buildings, or cities, or patriarchies, but women build community.

  7. I also would highly recommend the book “Trauma Stewardship,” it’s a great resource.

    I’ll also make a shameless plug for some burnout prevention material I helped create, which attempts to help people make self-care a core value by starting to introduce self-care practices into their everyday life.

  8. I’d like to plug Starhawk, an amazing pagan social justice activist. Her writing made me understand the world so much better. Her activism and religious position are firmly intertwined.

    She too emphasised that it’s important to look back at what happened, mourn the failures, learn from the mistakes, AND celebrate the results. She is quite convinced that not taking stock every now and again will burn you out eventually.

  9. Oh, titles involved: Truth or Dare, by Starhawk.

    I still have to read Earth Path and Dreaming the Dark, so I can’t comment on those.

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