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Walking Wounded

I may be a bad person of poor character, but I sometimes read Dawn Eden’s blog. I know, I know, but ever since I gave up drug abuse, promiscuous sex, satan worshipping, and having abortions for kicks on my slow weekends, there isn’t much left for an intellectual mindfuck but Dawn Eden.

She seems nice enough — fairly reasonable, if a bit judgemental, and certainly speaks as an authority on many of her pet issues. Her favorite thing to write about appears to be sex — all sex all the time in the garden of Eden — but sex is not healthy or normal except within a particular set of constructs. Oh no. Today Ms. Eden decided to bag on one of her greatest blog adversaries, but was wise not to link that heathenous slut lest she turn her blog harpies on dear, chaste Dawn.

A childless feminist blogger took pleasure in taking apart Sandoval’s piece, accusing the writer of hating sex and hating sexually active singles. She buoyed her arguments by noting that while she herself supported having sex outside of marriage, she was not promiscuous—she’d been with the same man for four years.

Oh my. Who could that be? And why are we feminists suddenly divided into child-ful and child-less? I suppose I’m a less heathenous feminist since I have a child. Or wait, a hapless slut (I can never remember). Perhaps Dawn feels this unnamed blogger’s criticisms are too close to home. Nevertheless, she goes on:

Reading that, I thought, this is a woman who does not know what her life is for or who she is. She badly desires to anchor her life in a relationship, yet she has a contingency plan to escape that relationship with no strings attached, should it prove too cumbersome. She takes hormones to prevent her ovaries from releasing eggs, so that her lover’s seed may pass in and out of her without the chance that she’ll actually receive it.

There is so much in this little paragraph to criticize, and we haven’t even gotten to the part yet where she states that “contracepted sex” is merely “coitus interruptus” and thereby inferior to “the mixing of body fluids” that produces God’s Army. She condescends the unnamed blogger’s choice of commitment, suggests this unnamed blogger can not and will not know herself unless she’s knockin’ boots with a wedding ring on (I suppose any asker will do), judges this unnamed blogger’s willingness to face the reality of relationships, assumes quite a bit about the unnamed blogger’s medical contraceptive choices, and actually says the phrase “lover’s seed.”

Lover’s seed. For real? Hopefully a person’s significant other has more to offer a relationship than “his seed,” you know, like mowing lawns and opening jars of mayo. For all the flack feminists get for our supposed single, monolithic view on marriage, sex, and manhood, Dawn seems awfully fixated on the, well, manhood.

Isn’t that interesting?

Someone here is walking wounded and it ain’t the unnamed feminist. But after all of this, I do have one niggling thought. For someone who promotes abstinence until marriage, rages against the “porn-liberal” and only refers to her own sexual life as “chaste,” Ms. Eden sure knows a lot about sex.

I wonder.

UPDATE: Amanda responds. Priceless.


34 thoughts on Walking Wounded

  1. Yes, Eden really did keep the identity of the feminist blogger well obscured. “There’s this porn-feminist named Amanda M….no, that’s too obvious. Let’s say A. Marcotte”…

  2. wow, her article was quite ridiculous. making an assumption that the “childless feminist blogger” was of courseon the pill was…silly, really. and the crap about only “risking lasting change in one another’s life” by agreeing to carry their babies was equally smirkworthy. Has this woman never emotionally connected with anyone??????
    The scariest thing was there were comments in there from equally freaky people going “yeah! right on!”

  3. Ah, The Simpsons. Is there any situation for which you cannot provide a relevant and incisive bon mot?

    Yeah, considering the bleeding between blogs, the fact that D. Eden and whoever-could-that-be blog about each other an awful lot, and the fact that D. Eden has criticized god-only-knows-who several times for being forthright about her personal life, it was a wee bit disingenuous and nasty to act as though I-have-no-idea wouldn’t immediately be identified.

  4. Good god Lauren, you’re a sadist. That woman’s blog is fucking torture (pun intended).

    Who died and made this chick the arbiter of the wombs of womankind, anyway? And since when did conservatives begin to cotton to the psychobabblizing of others?

    And while we’re at it, is it only bad if unmarried women are in the “contracepting culture”? Once we get that coveted gold band are we all of a sudden allowed to Ortho Novum up?

    Enquring minds want to know.

  5. also that phrase lover’s seed really creeped me out. (insert Sideshow Bob style shudder here just for you, piny) 🙂

  6. Not to pass myself off as an expert on our unknown person whose name starts with “A” ends with “da” and has “man” in the middle, but as I recall, she and the boyfriend have bought a house together, which seems to me to be quite a big string.

    Just sayin…

  7. Why can’t everyone just mind their own business? If you want to sew it up and lock it with a key, so be it. If you want to sell it to every whodunnit with a quarter, knock yourself out. I think that the religious right’s fixation with other people’s sex lives and reproductive habits is a perversion in itself.

  8. i’m kind of wishing you hadn’t posted that link now…i am now getting angrier and angrier at some of the things those people are saying…and they can’t research to save themselves! Argh! Plus I’m on the other side of the world, so am supposed to be doing work.

  9. Here’s the ultimate irony: I’ve been to Amanda’s place and it’s teeming with her children; 8 by my count, although I might have missed a couple. FIlthy, disgusting children everywhere. Cat’s out of the bag!

  10. For all the flack feminists get for our supposed single, monolithic view on marriage, sex, and manhood, Dawn seems awfully fixated on the, well, manhood.

    Especially for someone who tells you every five minutes how chaste she is…

    (Admittedly, I also occasionally mention my recent lack of progress in the getting-MOTAS-into-bed department. But I don’t pretend it’s a virtue.)

  11. Yeah, “Dawn Eden” sounds like the name of a character in a Jaqueline Susann novel.

    Nah, more like Thomas Pynchon.

  12. Yeah, but I don’t create those children through sexual union, norbizness. I made those like the woman in “The Brood”–I grow them under my skin every time I remember something bad that’s happened to me. So watch out for those kids. They’re killers.

  13. Does Dawn have kids? Oh my, I had no idea! Does she ever talk about them on her blog? In my opinion the best things of hers to read, if she even writes them any more, are her album reviews and ruminations on comedy. That’s the kind of stuff she used to do back when I knew her a couple decades ago.

  14. “MOTAS” — would that be “member of the apposite sex”, Phoenician?

    MOTOS = Members Of The Opposite Sex.
    MOTSS = Members Of The Same Sex.
    MOTAS = Members Of The Appropriate Sex.

    Whether I go after MOTOS or MOTSS or both is irrelevant to the comment above, thus I use MOTAS.

  15. I don’t think she has kids, no. She wants them very badly, though, but she’s not married.

    In other words, she has no idea what this fantastic, uncontracepted, seed-absorbing sex is like. She isn’t having it herself and she’s incredibly bitter that A Certain Blogger isn’t as verklempt at the notion as Miss Eden.

    What a nitwit.

  16. “lover’s seed”???!?!?!? WTF? Did we suddenly whoosh back in time to the 19th century or what?

  17. Sounds more like one of those “find your porn star name” things.

    I got sidetracked by reading the comments policy novel. How the desire to control rebellious liberals expands (the seed, the comment). It’s halfway tempting to construct a conserv-o-comment-meter. You know, see how strong a correlation exists between restrictions on outside (read: librul) views and exhortations to return to the age of women as cum dumpsters.

  18. “In other words, she has no idea what this fantastic, uncontracepted, seed-absorbing sex is like”

    Apparently not. I, on the other hand, have been there and done that and can attest that it’s a lot like the contracepted, seed-non-absorbing form of sex, except that you don’t have to stop to put in the contraceptive. This is both a positive and a negative. On the one hand, the, er, unity of the act is not broken up, on the other, having your partner put in your diaphragm can be a very enjoyable thing indeed, if done correctly.

  19. Ah, The Simpsons. Is there any situation for which you cannot provide a relevant and incisive bon mot?

    “All church and no sex makes Dawn Eden something something.”

    “Go crazy?”

    “Don’t mind if I do! Blleaarghggh! Arrghh! Warrrggghh!!!”

  20. ‘MOTAS’ — would that be “member of the apposite sex”, Phoenician?

    MOTOS = Members Of The Opposite Sex.
    MOTSS = Members Of The Same Sex.
    MOTAS = Members Of The Appropriate Sex.

    Actually, I prefer “apposite.” Thanks for the vocabulary expansion, Jenny!

  21. I didn’t know whether to be amused or dumbfounded. In what test tube did they cook up Dawn Eden? Or is she a highly sophisticated computer programmed to blast pro-choicers and feminists with a vocabulary taken out of the Merck Manual and fused with James Dobson and Rolling Stone?

    If she’s unmarried and in her thirties, maybe she is bitter that she doesn’t get any. Or maybe she has just be hurt, having lost out to a pro-choice feminist with a healthy share of intelligence?

    I think I pity her.

  22. I got sidetracked by reading the comments policy novel. How the desire to control rebellious liberals expands (the seed, the comment). It’s halfway tempting to construct a conserv-o-comment-meter. You know, see how strong a correlation exists between restrictions on outside (read: librul) views and exhortations to return to the age of women as cum dumpsters.

    Bit of a pity I’m banned. I had this idea to adopt a conservative stance and extend her “theology” even further. We should only eat food as God wants us to do it – no canning, refrigeration or sterilization. You don’t know what real food is until you allow yourself the possibility of food poisoning, and anything else is contrary to God’s will.

    Frame that as close to her original post as possible, and at least half won’t realise it’s a parody.

  23. For someone who claims to be chaste, Dawn Eden spends an awful lot of time thinking about the sex other people are having.

    Where do you begin when confronted with these kinds of far-fetched assumptions, sweeping generalizations, and, frankly, very thinly-disguised insults?

    Oh…yeah…you don’t….

    You just keep movin’, because there is no point jumping on this person’s hamster wheel with them…

    The funny thing is, this person is accusing a variety of categories of people (because categorizing people means you don’t really have to think of them as human beings anymore) of all sorts of logical fallacies, including ad hominem attacks.

    Guess it’s okay for Dawn Eden, but not for anyone else…

    *sigh*

    Oh well. I live my life and assume other big people can figure out how to live theirs.

  24. I’ve given up commenting at Dawn’s blog, not because I have a thin skin, but because it’s become clear that the denizens therein are more interested in having an echo chamber than actual discussion. Every time I posted over there I would be insulted and condescended to, and this (white, Christian, Eagle Scout) bleeding-heart liberal just got tired of it. I wish they would practice what they preach when it comes to Dawn’s much-vaunted comments policy…

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