Via Neil (read his post because he’s funnier than me), James Dobson shares his cure for homosexuality.
As Neil points out, some of it is pretty funny — but most of it is just sad. For example, how do you diagnose a child with gender-identity disorder? Well, Dobson gives you five handy markers:
1. Repeatedly stated desire to be, or insistence that he or she is, the other sex.
2. In boys, preference for cross-dressing, or simulating female attire. In girls, insistence on wearing only stereotypical masculine clothing.
3. Strong and persistent preference for cross-sexual roles in make-believe play, or persistent fantasies of being the other sex.
4. Intense desire to participate in stereotypical games and pastimes of the other sex.
5. Strong preference for playmates of the other sex.
Well, as a kid I fit at least three of those five. And Dobson is also sure to give mothers the short end of the stick (or at least blame them for their gay sons), saying, “The truth is, Dad is more important than Mom. Mothers make boys. Fathers make men.” Boys, apparently, are unable to be real men if they can’t copy dad: “the boy decides that he would like to grow up like his father. This is a choice. Implicit in that choice is the decision that he would not like to grow up to be like his mother. According to Robert Stoller, “The first order of business in being a man is, ‘don’t be a woman.'”
So Mom should back off. And Dad?
Meanwhile, the boy’s father has to do his part. He needs to mirror and affirm his son’s maleness. He can play rough-and-tumble games with his son, in ways that are decidedly different from the games he would play with a little girl. He can help his son learn to throw and catch a ball. He can teach him to pound a square wooden peg into a square hole in a pegboard. He can even take his son with him into the shower, where the boy cannot help but notice that Dad has a penis, just like his, only bigger.
Boys play sports and “rough-and-tumble” outdoor games. Girls play house, play with dolls, and stay indoors where they won’t get dirty or hurt. Because that’s how you make “real men” and “real women.”
What’s possibly most disturbing is how much being a “real man” apparently necessitates a rejection of Mom:
When boys begin to relate to their fathers, and begin to understand what is exciting, fun and energizing about their fathers, they will learn to accept their own masculinity. They will find a sense of freedom—of power—by being different from their mothers, outgrowing them as they move into a man’s world.
Masculinity, then, isn’t being defined independently — it’s simply the opposite of whatever “feminine” means.
A boy needs to see his father as confident, self-assured and decisive. He also needs him to be supportive, sensitive and caring. Mom needs to back off a bit. What I mean is, don’t smother him. Let him do more things for himself. Don’t try to be both Mom and Dad for him. If he has questions, tell him to ask Dad. She should defer to her husband anything that will give him a chance to demonstrate that he is interested in his son—that he isn’t rejecting him.
Hell, if my mom always deferred to my dad, never stood up for herself and never answered any of my questions, I’d want to be a whole lot more like Dad too! But that’s the great thing about actually sharing in the parenting process — your kids get to see you as an individual, not as the epitome of femininity or masculinity, and they get to adopt the best (and sometimes the worst) characteristics from both their parents.
Dobson also ignores single parents, implying that single moms will inevitably raise “confused” sons — after all, without Dad around, who will Mom defer to when her kid asks her a question?
If [a father] wants his son to grow up straight, he has to break the mother-son connection that is proper to infancy but not in the boy’s interest after the age of three. In this way, the father has to be a model, demonstrating that it is possible for his son to maintain a loving relationship with this woman, his mom, while maintaining his own independence. In this way, the father is a healthy buffer between mother and son.
Gay sons are the product of selfish mothers. Mothers will inevitably be selfish and raise sissy-boys if Dad doesn’t step in as a “buffer.”
Also, being gay can give you tuberculosis. Who knew?