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FNTT Season 5: the MENSA round

Feministe’s Next Top Troll continues, this time with commenters who assert their intellectual authority. Obnoxious troll comments below the fold. Vote for your fave:

courage the cowardly dog:

Obviously, my remarks were too logical, too coherent and too unassailable to post because it they had been posted they would served as the intellectual nuclear bomb to feminist ideology.

Jack:

Why are radical feminists so pro-gay marriage? Is it because they reflexively support anything that threatens the traditional family?

The good thing is that women like Jill are non-breeding their leftism out of existence. The bad thing is that her high-IQ genes will also not move on to the next generation.

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40 thoughts on FNTT Season 5: the MENSA round

  1. I was torn, but the fact that Jack credits Jill with having a high IQ, well, he can’t be ALL bad if he knows that Jill’s smart.

  2. Damn, this is a tough one. One the one hand, I love the idea that the first troll has the ability to drop THE intellectual nuclear bomb on feminist ideology, yet lacks the “courage” to state his name. On the other hand, you’ve got to love that Jack is both happy and sad that Jill is not “breeding” because she is both evil/stupid and very smart.

    The stoopid. It burns.

  3. Courage the cowardly dog, because his statement *actually* made me wonder what his previously attempted posts said… >_>

    Yep, I seem to be some sort of closet masochist where it comes to reading troll leavings. I’ll work on that.

  4. Look, copraphology is quite important in understanding the lifestyles of all organisms, even “soft” things like culture! I’ll not have you insult everyone who studies shit, Laurie!

  5. I vote for jack because I actually love the show Courage the Cowardly dog and am disgusted the fisrt poster took the name of a beloved character.
    With that said, I think there should be a category for emails (I understand not wanting poster/comment to be matched up to emails). I mean stupidlesbodyke@gmail and stuffitcunt@yahoo are pretty cassic.
    Though, I find it somewhat creepy that to me it almost seems as though Jack is hitting on you (a way to pass on your genes, for the human race of course).

  6. Once again, FashionablyEvil makes my point. Jack at least notes Jill’s high IQ.

    Courage the Cowardly Dog’s circular logic has holes the size of Montana’s skies, but nowhere near as clear.

  7. Backhanded compliment + implication that all things (leftism? smarts? gayness?) are genetic + accidental assertion that family-threatening liberalism and intelligence go hand and hand >> censored nuclear bomb to feminsim.

    Also, non-breeding, like the unbirthday, is a fascinating and important concept.

  8. Courage gets my vote, for bad writing, misuse of a pronoun, and forgetting a helping verb phrase. Outstanding intellectual nuclear bomb, that.

  9. They’re both so stupendously cocky that I can’t truly decide which is more repugnant. I chose Jack because he appears intelligent enough to know better. Surely someone who can speak so concisely is more of a threat than a pseudo educated clown like “courage” because Jack doesn’t sound nearly as trumped up, self important and insane, people might actually be inclined to give Jack time of day. Generally tyrants and dictators are great speakers.

  10. I voted for jack, because there’s a kind of can’t keep it straight on the right plane quality that I suffer from as well.

    Gotta vote for the home team of silliness.

  11. for once, a comment that I actually want to see again. How can we not love the idea of an intellectual nuclear bomb? courage all the way.

  12. i am now dying to know what intellectual neutron bomb could explode feminist ideology! a clear win for courage the cowardly dog, for not just insulting individual people but dismantling our entire belief system.

  13. This is a tough one. I like Jack’s post, in that he thinks political views are somehow genetic (someone better tell my very conservative parents this so they can find out who switched the babies at the hospital). I also liked the fact that he called Jill smart. SOMEONE has a secret troll admirer!

    HOWEVER, a good troll does NOT issue compliments. Also, CTCD used one of the most ridiculous similies I’ve seen in a while. Seriously? His argument is like a nuclear bomb to feminism? His argument is more like a half-formed amoeba zapped by radiation–flailing and dying.

  14. Courage stealing the name of one of my favorite cartoons got me peeved, but I’m gonna have to go with Jack’s crazy pseudo-eugenics wingnuttyness.

  15. Jack is a pig it’s typical to call feminists “smart” it’s actually a slur like saying all Jewish folks are smart.IE when I was asked to leave S.F. ballet school I was told I was;”REALLY SMART AND SHOULD GO TO COLLAGE”….but in the same breadth I was told by the same pig that :”I looked like a transvestite”or to be precise like a member of a male cross dressing ballet company that spoof females.

  16. P.S. my mother is a former Mensa member and Jack should watch it.He knows not of what he speaks.Her I.Q. confirmed as a child to be around 165 could blow some one like”Jack” right out of the universe,and she hates dumb men.Almost as bad as “Jack” is I would say only in reverse.

  17. P.S.S. they are equal and probably their same sob…who is probably enjoying some Kleenex and lotion right as we type. I think I’m going to be sick. They or he is why I stopped dating….

  18. I voted courage because he’s an offense to the character of the same name (who’s a kind person, err, dog)…

  19. BIG HEAD KITTY! *squees*

    Ahem. Sorry. I went with “Courage”, because the old “You peons can never comprehend my brilliance” argument always seems that much more trollier.

  20. Jack, only because of his TOTALLY SCIENTERIFFIC assertion that “leftism” is inherited. They’re both awesome though!

  21. I have to go with Jack, because of the eugenics. I think eugenics and right-wing ideology are naturally intertwined, and it’s nice to see yet another demonstration of that.

  22. I went with ‘courage’ because he came right out of the gate with “obviously,” thus negating the need to justify anything that followed with actual fact. That, and the phrase ‘intellectual nuclear bomb’ to describe his own brilliance.

  23. shah8:
    I have no doubts that the study of, er, *leavings* has its place in science. Or cultural anthropology, for that matter. I’ve been known to closely examine scat while hiking myself. I think I’ll leave studying the troll leavings to the experts, and those immune to its effects, however. 😉

  24. Wow. I almost could not decide which commentor was a bigger asshole. But I had to go with Courage, coz he thought his comments were so amazingly logical and unassailale and coherent, and that they would ‘spolde our feminist brains.

  25. Jack. I liked that he mixed it up with a little compliment at the end–you don’t see that very often in anti-feminist trolls.

  26. Had to give props to Courage for his mercy in withholding the nuke that would lay waste to all our silly feminist notions.

  27. It’s a race to the finish for first prize in prick-ery, but CTCD had me at intellectual nuclear bomb.

  28. I think Jack’s just sad that the chances are so low Jill will join her “high-IQ genes” with his low-IQ genes, thus giving his germ line a shot at survival. Still, he’s just so *charming*… who knows, Jack – keep ’em coming!

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