Angry readers respond to his advice to the pro-choice girl whose anti-choice boyfriend refused to have sex with her. I’m laughing out loud in an internet cafe, and people are looking at me like I’m crazy — so read it. Favorite parts:
Dan’s excuse:
I thought my response last week to the guy who wanted to fuck his brother’s girlfriend—go for it!—would be the one that sent turds through turbines, not my advice for OBGYN. I had no idea abortion was such a contentious issue. But a salient point that my furious readers seem to overlook is that I WAS FUCKED UP WHEN I WROTE THAT COLUMN, and I said so.
And when other readers call him out:
Q. You told OBGYN to use birth control and “cross your fingers.” There is no need for luck! She can fully protect herself by doing the basics. Pills or hormone patches used correctly give you 99 percent protection, and she should be using a condom too, to protect herself against STDs. If OBGYN takes these two basic precautions, not even the Holy Ghost can get her pregnant. —OVER THIRTY
A. Thanks for sharing, OT, but didn’t the Holy Ghost knock up at least one teenager already?
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Q. They can avoid conflict by avoiding pregnancy. I’ve never heard of someone getting pregnant from anal sex! Also, in the interest of being egalitarian, anal sex should include taking turns. That is, OBGYN should strap it on and fuck his anti-choice ass frequently. —PINK PEARL
A. Anal sex—of course! Why didn’t I think of that? Actually, I did think of that, and it was in the first draft of my advice to OBGYN: “Or let him fuck your ass—but only if you get to fuck his ass too.” But I took it out because I didn’t want to be accused of promoting anal sex acts to impressionable teenagers. That’s Wonkette’s job.
And damn if she isn’t good at it.