In defense of the sanctimonious women's studies set || First feminist blog on the internet

Simple Sunday Pleasure

Lauren

Ever since I brought Pablo home he was distantly affectionate. He liked to be in the same room as us, didn’t shy away from a pat on the head, but didn’t like to be held or sit in my lap. I’m not used to kitties like that. Doug is of the model I am accustomed to, the kind of cat that sits on your chest, drools and purrs, leaving a mat of fur behind him.

Cat Draped On Sofa, 2004

For the first three months that Pablo was home with us, Ethan and I never once heard Pablo purr. He would on occasion seem pleased or pleasant, but we never got that one patent indicator that he liked us. Then one day he stopped sitting across the room and sat next to us on the couch. He let me hold him for awhile, but only if he wasn’t facing me. He let Ethan hold him for a whole thirty seconds (E was thrilled). And then he purred.

This morning Pablo sat on my lap for twenty minutes while I read blogs. To cat lovers everywhere this probably sounds silly, but it is the first time he has sat with me for so long and enjoyed it.

It’s the simple pleasures.


Edited to add: Ethan knows and remembers dates. He is obsessed with birthdays and how pleasant they are for the recipient of birthday wishes. We adopted Pablo near the time of Ethan’s birthday and Ethan decided that we should have a birthday for Pablo as well. Because we don’t know exactly how old Pablo is, and certainly not when he was born, Ethan picked July 3rd and insisted that we have a birthday party for him.

What would my friends think of me, the crazy cat lady, if I invited them over as E insisted for a cat birthday party? I decided we could do it and masquerade it as a July 4th cookout. I only later realized that the 4th fell on the weeks E would be away from home. I hoped Ethan would forget.

After he got home from his two-week vacation that kept him away from home during the 4th, Ethan asked me if we had celebrated Pablo’s birthday. No, I told him, I forgot. E the Cat Whisperer told me that he had discussed it with Pablo and that Pablo is disappointed and angry with me for forgetting his birthday.

What to do, what to do.

13 thoughts on Simple Sunday Pleasure

  1. I had a cat like that. I’m starting to get the impression that she thinks it’s not ladylike to throw yourself at people or something. Every night though she comes in the bedroom and lays her head on my hand so I can pet her and purrs like crazy. Otherwise she just seems to like being in the same room, but NEVER on my lap.

  3. Katy was a wild cat and she doesn’t like laps or being held, either, though she purrs endlessly for no reason whatsoever. Just happy to be here, I guess. While you sleep, however, she loves to sleep right on top of you, which wouldn’t be so bad if she didn’t weigh like 20 pounds.

  5. I have a very aloof cat named Lucy. She rules my house with a rod of iron. I feel incredibly privileged if she deigns to sit with me, or, as is more often the case, beat me up a bit. She does sit on my lap once or twice a year, which I guess is just to humour me and make sure I keep buying the tins of tuna. She got groomed tonight. I’m going to have to pay for that at some point.

  6. Ms. Lauren wrote: After he got home from his two-week vacation that kept him away from home during the 4th, Ethan asked me if we had celebrated Pablo’s birthday. No, I told him, I forgot. E the Cat Whisperer told me that he had discussed it with Pablo and that Pablo is disappointed and angry with me for forgetting his birthday.

    What to do, what to do.

    there is no social crime a human being is able to commit against a cat that cannot be solved with excessive amounts of tunafish (dolphin-safe or not is up to you as your cat certainly does not give a good goddamn & probably would prefer a bit of dolphin in there to round out the flavor).

  7. Congratulations! As a certifiable animal lover myself, I can understand why little things like this mean so much. Maybe Pablo has finally realized what a good deal he has and has decided to be more demonstrative…

    We are fortunate in being owned by two very affectionate cats–we adopted them from our local Humane Society at 6 mos. old, and they were already very attention-hungry.

    A cat-loving friend coined a term for her affectionate kitties: Attention Junkies. I think this is a perfect description.

    When it comes right down to it, cats and dogs really have their priorities straight: eat, sleep, play, poop (repeat in any order). We can learn a lot from them, I think…

  8. crazy cat lady

    Amazing. That’s exactly what my uncle calls my mother: we currently own four. We used to have a grey tabby that was fairly distant, except where my mother was concerned. I remember how it was a red-letter day when he would purr for one of us kids or –get out the champagne– lick us.

  9. Hi Lauren,

    Congratulations on the breakthrough – to all of you.

    I get it exactly. I became the father of cats when I met my wife, two of them were really affectionate right away, though they were her cats. Two others were a bit shy or stand offish. I can pinpoint the specific moments all four became my cats as well, when they finally had a mom and a dad. Some of the best moments of my life…

  10. You do know that there is a “Crazy Cat Lady” in the game World of Warcraft? You buy your pet kitties from her. WoW players are big time cat lovers.

    Our cat Sprite doesn’t like to be picked up, just like Pablo. We can pet her as much as we like (and she loves it), but don’t try to pick her up. She’ll meow up a storm to get down, and then she runs away. She comes back soon after for more petting. Lucky, on the other hand, is an attention junkie. He loves being picked up. I think that comes from us feeding him from a bottle when he was a kitten. He’s used to be handled. Sprite isn’t. Lucky used to be lap fungus, but he isn’t anymore. He’s too squirrely for that. Domino sometimes likes to sit on our laps.

    As far as purring goes, sometimes cats purr so quietly you can’t hear them. Feel Pablo’s side if you think he might be purring. If you feel rumbling, that’s purring.

  11. Or feel his “voicebox” if he’s a truly quiet purrer. My kitty rarely purrs as well and I can only tell if he’s purring by feeling his throat. We got him at 5-weeks-old and he rarely wanted anything to do with us. He’s now almost 9 and still likes attention on his schedule only, but in the last two years he’s come to sit on laps or cuddle beside us more and more and each time he does it I’m incredibly happy and grateful.

    I remember the first time I felt him purr. He was about 4 months old and was interested in some major loving. As I was rubbing his chin I noticed that he just started purring. He jumped up, shook his head, scratched at his throat and then hid under the bed for an hour. It seemed like purring scared him.

    I would suggest you and Mr. E throw Pablo a special party where he gets a treat of a can of cat food or tuna, or whatever else seems to interest him and maybe a new catnip toy as a present. You could “explain” to Pablo that you wanted to wait until Ethan was home so he could participate in his celebration and Pablo could “explain” to you how he was hoping for a small celebration because he doesn’t like having the attention of a large group of people at once.

  12. Hello out there, I have a comment my first one on this blog sight about your kitty that was or is aloof. I have a turkish van who is like that to a point now. She suddenly began to plop herself down in my lap and yes she would plop as she is a big girl and began purring. She hated being brushed until I began to do this regulary and she loves it and purrs constantly while brush. Just leave your kitty alone don’t force him and he will eventually come around more often to sit in your lap and will love to sleep with you as well. I just love cats. Oh, and we do believe in spaying and neutering. One of our cats, we have several, was going to have a litter and we didn’t know this and had her spayed as planned. The vet had no problem doing the procedure. I wonder what the Bush administration would think of this considering their anti-pro-choice philosophy. Life is life. First off in order to respect life you have to respect evry living thing including insects and all. For example, there were little prairie dogs on the side of the road taking advantage of grain that had spilled from a truck hauling wheat and when coming back to the same spot in our vehicle, we noticed that the little prairie dogs had been killed by other motorist. If one does not respect a prairie dog and just runs over it without thought even though one has time to get out of the way, then he/she does not really respect life and these I have witnessed are the very ones who are marketing the pro-life movement. We as a society promote spaying and neutering of cats and dogs and have no problem with this, however, women are on the verge of being treated as less than animals when it comes to reproductive rights especially with the current Supreme Court nominee that Bush has announced and set his sights on. Please don’t let women be treated as less than a cat or dog in reproductive rights. Help us fight for out rights of choice in reproduction. Thank-you for allowing me to comment and have a wonderful rest of the summer.

  13. Pingback: blog alice

Comments are currently closed.