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Regulating New Jersey’s Hair Down There

New Jersey’s reputation for big-haired women may have just been taken to the next level: The state is considering enforcing its ban on Brazilian bikini waxes. As Reason says, when hairless genitalia is banned, only bandits will have hairless genitalia.

The state Board of Cosmetology and Hairstyling is moving toward a ban on genital waxing altogether after two women reported being injured in their quest for a smooth bikini line.

Both women were hospitalized for infections following so-called “Brazilian” bikini waxes; one of the women has filed a lawsuit, according to Jeff Lamm, a spokesman for New Jersey’s Division of Consumer Affairs, which oversees the cosmetology board.

Technically, genital waxing has never been allowed — only the face, neck, abdomen, legs and arms are permitted — but because bare-it-all “Brazilians” weren’t specifically banned, state regulators haven’t enforced the law.

The genital area is not part of the abdomen or legs as some might assume,” Lamm said.

…well there’s your first problem.

Spa owner Linda Orsuto, who owns 800 West Salon & Spa in Cherry Hill, estimates that most of 1,800 bikini waxes performed at her business last year were Brazilian-style.

“It’s huge,” she said, adding that her customers don’t think their bikini lines are anyone’s business but their own. “It’s just not right.”

She said many customers would likely travel across state lines to get it and some might even try to wax themselves.

Back-alley Brazilians and do-it-yourself waxes are no fun for anyone involved.

I’m all for greater health department oversight of salons — some of the practices I’ve seen are pretty disgusting. One of the more common ones is re-using those popsickle stick things on the same client — putting wax on the stick, using the stick to spread the wax on the client’s skin, and then putting the stick back in the wax and re-spreading. It’s not sanitary, since wax isn’t hot enough to kill all the potential germs you just redeposited into the vat. When you’re dealing with the innermost folds and countours of someone’s most private parts, you don’t want unsanitary conditions. Or, to put it more blunty, I don’t want someone else’s buttcrack germs spread all over my crotch. Waxing can also cause burns and ripped-off skin if done improperly. So please, New Jersey and other states, regulate away so that people don’t walk out of their salons with infections and open wounds.

But banning a bare beaver? There are surely problematic aspects to waxing — including the usual feminist and gender issues, which we’ve all spent more than enough time navel-gazing (vulva-gazing?) about — but are Brazilians really so physically and socially problematic that we need to ban them? Maybe I’m just getting old, but the Brazilian craze seems to have died down a bit anyway. The salon I go to now offers a “French” wax, which isn’t as extreme as a Brazilian, because there was a demand for something not quite as bare. Seems to me that, regardless of the pubic hair trend du jour or my own feminist views on waxing,* health departments should be regulating public health and safety, not pube design. Certainly the great state of New Jersey could find something better to do with its bureaucratic spare time. Although if they are going to waste time and resources micromanaging the aesthetics of the local beaver population, I know at least one guy who may be interested in helping out.

Thanks to Tom Foolery for the link.

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*Those views, for the curious: I don’t really care.


36 thoughts on Regulating New Jersey’s Hair Down There

  1. Thus begins the ear of Brazilian was speakeasies.

    But at least we now know the first step in managing a beaver: realizing that it’s part of neither the abdomen nor the legs.

  2. It doesn’t look like they’re banning women having pube-less genitalia. The Seaside Heights police aren’t going to be checking women’s crotches while they’re tanning down the shore and investigating the women without visible muffs. NJ wanted to ban the procedure of genital waxing. There’s a difference.

  3. …ok? I think people understand that police aren’t going to be taking upskirt shots in an effort to bolster arrests. I still think it’s a silly potential law, worthy of mockery.

  4. Silly, yes. Apparently they decided against it, and rightfully so. Education is generally preferable to pushing trends underground by illegalizing them outright.

    However, what else would the State Board of Cosmetology and Hairstyling make decisions regarding? I would prefer it if they sat around outlawing the import/production of lipsticks with parabens in NJ, but I believe that’s beyond their powers of control.

  5. I still think it’s a silly potential law, worthy of mockery.

    Not to mention the hyperbole about driving the procedure underground and making specious implicit comparisons to abortion. Someone will have to form another Jane collective to make sure that the right to shape your pubic hair is preserved!

  6. Hm. I understand your point, but genuine health concerns are raised —

    Genital waxing can be dangerous in that the hot wax can irritate or tear delicate skin in the bikini area, resulting in infections, ingrown hairs and rashes, according to skin care experts.

    This is more about safety than aesthetics, I would say.

  7. Aren’t there all kinds of laws in all kinds of places regulating what services can be offered in contexts like this? Granted it’s 9am and I haven’t had coffee yet, but this seems like yet another faux outrage ZOMG They Can’t Take Away My… Yes, actually, they totally can. State regulation, even bans on certain problematic kinds of services, really exists and is totally legitimate. You don’t even think about it until a service you like/want/approve of comes under regulation.

    This is like all the people here in New York who complain because you’re not allowed to bring your dog into the supermarket. Health codes, y’all. Get over it.

    I agree, btw, that an all-out ban is a little silly, and intense regulation of the hygiene aspects would probably be better. But if they determine just getting rid of them is the best way to deal with the situation, whatever. Health codes, y’all.

  8. Not a good analogy, Opoponax. Getting your buttcrack waxed is not going to send some innocent bystander to the hospital.

  9. Granted it’s 9am and I haven’t had coffee yet, but this seems like yet another faux outrage ZOMG They Can’t Take Away My… Yes, actually, they totally can.

    I don’t think anyone disputes that they can. I think people are debating whether they should.

    To be quite honest, I don’t really care. As I said in the post, I think it’s a waste of time and resources, but if that’s what New Jersey wants, then have at. I just find the whole issue and conversation around it absurd. Which is why I’m a little surprised that the comment section is so serious.

    As for the safety issues, sure, that’s a real concern. But I don’t see why hot wax would be more dangerous on your bikini line then on, say, your face. Again, I’m not opposed to health codes and regulations, and I think they should be enforced more strictly in salons. But that doesn’t have to amount to a full ban on one type of hair being removed.

  10. Pink Daisy, my point is that states legislate all sorts of little things that seem like pointless inconveniences to a lot of people. Some of the regulations are necessary, some are probably not quite so necessary, but what are you going to do? I mean, is there anybody who really wants to expend the time, money, and energy lobbying for Brazilian bikini waxes to stay legal?

    I’ve always assumed that the “no dogs in food shops, restaurants, or cafes” was not about bystanders’ allergies, but about arcane food safety stuff. Because you can bring your dog into most other indoor public places here in New York. Just not places that sell or serve food.

  11. Jill, I guess what I’m saying is probably along the lines of what you’re saying, which is basically, “meh”. Call me a total nanny state apologist, but I just don’t see what’s so wrong about a state saying that they refuse to license salons that deal with butt-crack-hair due to the prevalence of infections and the liability issues that creates. I’d feel the same if we were talking about a state that refused to license tattoo parlors that use red ink*, to bring it around to a subject I both know and care more about. Kinda annoying, but if they think that’s the easiest way to deal with the issue, who cares?

    * a lot of people are allergic to red tattoo inks, which is something you can’t know until you permanently apply it under the skin, thus resulting in painful infections and eventual ugly tattoos. The usual solution is to make you sign away your right to sue if it turns out you’re allergic.

  12. wow, maybe cause i’m a product of the sixties, but why would any sane woman pay a stranger to pour hot wax on her personal area? because her personal area as nature made it wasn’t good enough? for who?
    for some guy? for herself? is she trying to be more like barbie?
    as a nurse i’ll say that the possibility of beauty salons making it up as they go along and re-using stuff is a real health concern. staph is a germ that likes to live on skin and infect hair follicles. antibiotic staph, (MRSA) is becoming more common in the community. so actually, women waxing at home sounds safer than going to an unregulated salon where they might get exposed to what the previous customer walked in with.

  13. …ok? I think people understand that police aren’t going to be taking upskirt shots in an effort to bolster arrests. I still think it’s a silly potential law, worthy of mockery.

    It just didn’t seem like you understood that. You said, “[R]egulate away so that people don’t walk out of their salons with infections and open wounds. But banning a bare beaver?” It sounded like you believed the state was going to “ban a bare beaver” instead of just regulate the procedure.

  14. The whole post had a jokey tone. I used “ban a bare beaver” because it sounded funny. After three years of law school, I think I understand how a basic legal regulation works. Thanks for the condescension, though!

  15. Is there something wrong, Jill? Reading insults in innocuous statements and then using sarcastic humor and your academic credentials to cover up your hurt feelings . . . . Sounds like there’s something bothering you.

  16. Fact is, a lot of nasty infections are the result of this completely unnecessary practice. And let’s not forget, this procedure has been mainstreamed by the inherently misogynistic porn industry. Now women feel obligated to get waxes.

    Talk about going backwards. Their mothers actually had it better. Sure they had to worry about their weight and their bust size, etc. At least they never had to worry about their damn pubic hair.

    How many men go through the pain and humiliation, never mind the expense, of such a thing. I’ve never met a heterosexual man who gave a second thought to his crotch hair.

  17. wow, maybe cause i’m a product of the sixties, but why would any sane woman pay a stranger to pour hot wax on her personal area? because her personal area as nature made it wasn’t good enough? for who?
    for some guy? for herself? is she trying to be more like barbie?

    Lots of people are into body modification, for a variety of reasons – some good, some bad. I’m not really into Brazilian waxes myself, but I can certainly see the appeal.

  18. “Sounds like there’s something bothering you.”

    Maybe what’s bothering her is that people are behaving as if she totally overreacted when her post was quite clear and to the point. I’m not a big fan of brazilian waxes, but talk of banning the procedure is a bit much. Getting your tongue pierced is far more dangerous than waxing your pubes but no one is talking about banning piercings. This sounds just like one more way for women’s bodies to be regulated.

  19. Yeah, I’m just irritated because it was a funny one-off post and a few people are acting as if I were totally freaking out over bikini waxes. It’s just kind of silly.

  20. it is ridiculous… ear piercings also can cause really bad infections, but no one is going around trying to ban those. and anyway, how exactly would they plan on regulating this?

    and now all i picture in my head is a scenario with a male police officer at a spa, completely uncomfortable because he’s asking if they provide Brazilian wax services. The representative at the front desk assures him that they don’t but he says he needs proof. Representative informs him that short of lifting up skirts, there is no way such evidence can be found. Officer leaves without pressing the issue.

  21. # Gayle says:
    March 21st, 2009 at 10:05 pm – Edit
    How many men go through the pain and humiliation, never mind the expense, of such a thing. I’ve never met a heterosexual man who gave a second thought to his crotch hair.

    Going on my many decades of locker rooms: pretty much none. Most guys have pubes, though some trim. Weightlifters might do it all, i suppose, since they wax/depilate everything else and they wear tiny suits. But I have never seen a completely shaved guy; they’re out there, I’m sure, but not common.

    And going on my fewer-than-5 experiences of getting 1 square centimeter of eyebrows waxed: OW!!! And that’s not even a sensitive spot! How the fuck do women wax down below without half a bottle of preemptive Valium or half a liter of Scotch? Ow, ow, ow. Ow.

  22. Eh, in California it’s illegal get your calluses shaved off at a salon (for the obvious health risk reasons). I really don’t see this as being any different. As far as I know, there is no callus shaving underground that has sprung up as a result.

  23. I think a lot of guys give more than a second thought to their crotch hair. I have a friend who does waxing at a spa here and I know several hetero dudes who have admitted to some amount of “manscaping” when we have discussed waxing. My sister, who is rather weird, drunkenly told a large group that she demands a hairless crotch area on her men. Her current, serious boyfirend had laser hair removal on his back and shoulders, but I didn’t ask about the crotch. I bought an Emjoi epilator to do my bikini line and my husband uses it more than I do. And not because I asked him to or even want him to. I’d actually rather he just leave my epilator alone.

  24. I have several friends in the spa and beauty industry – and they say that a lot of male athletes do, in fact, wax. Swimmers especially. Maybe not all the way – but a little wax on some menz is not as uncommon as you might think.

    Also – check out speedo-wearing cultures. Ukraine’s one, and based on what I hear, waxing among some dudes is getting kinda popular.

  25. Natalia, I think we need pictures of this phenomenon. Perhaps some Ukranian dudes in drag shorts? Help a sister out.

  26. “I’ve never met a heterosexual man who gave a second thought to his crotch hair.”

    Really? I haven’t done any scientific research, but as far as I know, a little trim up top and a shave underneath (at least of the ball and taint region)is relatively common. I know from many ridiculous conversations that I’m certainly not the only one. And the guys I hang around with are pretty far from “metro”.

  27. Natalia, I think we need pictures of this phenomenon. Perhaps some Ukranian dudes in drag shorts? Help a sister out.

    Funny you should ask, since I plan on being back in Kiev for the Orthodox Easter. Perhaps I should do an article? Young male swimmers… little shorts…

  28. “I’ve never met a heterosexual man who gave a second thought to his crotch hair.”

    Every guy I ever met has. Which is funny, because I like hairy men, but they refuse to grow their hair out! My boyfriend shaves their because he says it looks disgusting, smells, and makes his penis look small when there is hair. So, perhaps it is just people in my age group…

    Also, I agree that this ban is stupid. And I do not shave down there because I feel I have to, it is because I want to. So do not think that I am influenced by the porn industry to do it. Although I do not think that porn is really all that bad (a debate I probably shouldn’t get into at this time).

  29. I have done many Brazilian bikini waxes, I am a licensed cosmetologist. I have never re-dipped the stick and am very clean and careful when I work on a client.

    I think it is someones preferance, and if they don’t want any hair what is wrong with that? Going bare does not have anything to do with the porn industry, it is a personal choice that women should be able to make for themselves! I am getting so sick of what the crooked ass government can regulate.

    To all the people who think that women are being expoted by waxing their crotches, BE HAIRY! by all means I don’t care have at it, but leave us waxers alone, to the germ-a-phobe people, if your so worried about hygiene do your homework and go to a reputable salon.

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