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Allison Crews Dead At 22

Lauren

This week, my mom wished me a happy Father’s Day, justifying that I am a mom and a dad to my boy. It made me wonder whether I should also wish E’s dad a happy Mother’s Day. Six years ago, pregnant and virtually homeless, I never would have thought that I would be so committed to my little family, as odd as we are, and as politically and emotionally motivated to make us work.

From Bitch Ph.D. I found out this morning that activist Allison Crews is dead at the age of 22.

You probably haven’t heard of her before, but this women’s thoughts were integral to me as a young single mother. She began girl-mom.com, a radical website for young single mothers, and worked in alliance with Hip Mama. Her essay, When I Was Garbage, is an articulate account of the marginalization we young mothers experience as we emerge in the world as parents before society says it is prudent.

I found this message board four years ago when I was looking for support, advice, and camraderie. The women there are very much responsible for my political parenthood. Thanks to these women and their stories, I recast my views of parenthood and rethought what a good parent looks like. I shed all my previous inhibitions and decided to parent being me, flawed but caring me.

I didn’t know Allison, but I am very much saddened with this news. Thanks to her hard work and dedication to living radically, I know that I am no less a mother for having become a parent in my teens. As she succinctly said, we are not a burden to society and my son is not a burden to me. Contrary to those who believe we are disadvantaged by the obstacles put in our way, we have security, connection, and love.

If it weren’t for Ms. Crews, I would not be so confident in that fact. Bless.

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5 thoughts on Allison Crews Dead At 22

  1. It is sad — 22 is too young. But I wonder why no one will talk about how she died. This has much to say about sadness, despair, and discouragement, loss and pain, as how she lived.

  2. When she died last week, my friends list and some of the feminist lj communities went nuts. The grief is completely palpable, even over the net. I don’t usually comment here but when I saw her name I felt like I had to.

    I didn’t even know her and I never used girlmom, but I know a lot of people who were helped tremendously by Allison.

  3. I came across a link to her essay this morning, and even though I didn’t know her, I was saddened to hear of her death. She sounds like someone who was an amazing help and encouragement to a lot of women who need it. It’s a shame we live in a culture that makes things so difficult for young mothers.

  4. PS – I got a close look at the difficulties of single parenthood when my sister became a single mother of two after her divorce. A big part of my feminism is paying attention to the lives and experiences of the women around me. So, had I know of Ms. Crews before, I would definitely have been in solidarity with her.

  5. Regardless of whether Alli died intentionally or froma miscalculation, she definitely died because many people like myself ignored her when she asked for help. I knew Alli was upset. I passed her work everyday and thought “I should stop in.” I passed her number in my phone and always meant to call. I was too busy muddling through four hours of college to check on my good friend who spent her life helping other people.

    Alli was a light in this world that now is extinguished and can never be replaced. Those who knew her personally or through her work are all at a loss from her departure. She was selfless and brave and heroic. She was all this and only twenty two years old and she deserved better.

    I am not so selfish as to assume that I am so powerful to have made an impact on Alli’s passing. I am not so selfless to be that powerful. But god I’m going to miss her.

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