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Paris Hilton is like a brand-new Prada purse

Jill

And you should be too!

“I’ve only ever done it with a couple of people. People make up stories, but mostly I just kiss. I think it’s important to play hard to get. Nobody wants the fake Prada bag – they want the brand new bag that no one can get and is the most expensive. If you give it up to a guy he won’t respect you. He’ll want you much more if he can’t have you.”

(From here, but I would suggest not going).

Where to start? I suppose the obvious place would be, “Don’t you mean that nobody wants a used Prada bag?” Because I’m pretty sure that women who have had multiple partners don’t hand their husband a fake vagina on their wedding night. But maybe Paris knows something I don’t. And people do pay a lot of vintage these days.

There is a sweet irony in Paris becoming something of an abstinence-only spokeswoman. Her Prada bag fits right in with the peppermint patties, roses, band-aids, and cups of spit used to represent women’s bodies in abstinence-only classrooms, where we teach kids not only that having sex makes you a big dirty whore, but we have to trick men into marriage by tempting them with an expensive, brand-new hymen in a vacuum-sealed vadge — a vadge that can be all theirs for a one-time payment of a big diamond ring (at no less than three months’ salary).

Maybe Paris has a future doing abstinence workshops.

Thanks to Elizabeth for the link.

Posted in Sex

23 thoughts on Paris Hilton is like a brand-new Prada purse

  2. That is so rich coming from probably the most slut-shamed person in existence. If Paris were educated about feminism, she would have the resources to say, “I don’t care what you think about my sexual choices. They’re mine, and I’m fine with them.”

    Instead she has to resort to, “I swear I’m not REALLY a slut! Sluts are gross! See, I think they’re gross! Please say you still like me!”

  3. Wow she has to be one of the most idiotic people along with Ann Coulter. People never think about what’s coming out of their mouths.

  4. “You know how careful I am about my shoes, and I only put my feet in them.” (Cher, in Clueless)

    It looks to me as if Paris Hilton is trying to do two things at once: 1) Assure the world that she isn’t REALLY a slut. 2) But she has a sense of humor about her image! You can tell, because she jokes about herself as an expensive purse!

    In this case, I kind of sympathize with her, especially since the comments in that linked thread are mostly in the “yes you are a slut and always will be, Paris” line.

    Not that I seriously buy the “play hard to get” argument – but it’s hard for me to believe that she means the Prada purse analogy as serious shaming (unlike the folks pushing the duct tape analogy, who I think are quite serious).

  5. What do you expect. This is a woman who told Larry King that she’s never done drugs, even though she’s been photographed in possession of cannabis. She seems to think that you can reshape reality and history the way a plastic surgeon can reshape a nose.

  6. Nobody wants the fake Prada bag – they want the brand new bag that no one can get and is the most expensive….quotes from Ms. Paris Hilton’s Words in High Fashion Histries 😉

  9. On the other hand, I feel incredibly sorry for her. She’s probably one of the most commodified persons in the world. And she has been since she was at least 19. Given that experience it would be hard to consider yourself anything other than a package of goods. Comparing herself to a Prada bag, just makes me think that she isn’t aware that it’s all bullshit, she’s a person, not a thing. Which is just…very…very…sad.

  10. I actually think she’s entirely serious with being on board with the handbag analogy and the whole commodity model. I talk about how what she said, and what Jill said, relate to my Yes Means Yes essay here.

  11. the ‘fake prada’ argument merits a bit more analysis. why would a woman be defined in terms of the quantity of men she sleeps with? and why would this ‘characteristic’ make her a ‘fake Prada’? not the real thing, that is. she tries to be someone she’s not for the sake of being seen as desirable and unique. a ‘fake Prada’ is way worse than an ‘used Prada’ – after all, the used one is still a Prada. does it mean that being a woman = being Mrs. Virtue = not sleeping around? if a ‘slutty woman’ is a ‘fake Prada’, then what makes her a ‘real woman’ is not being slutty…

    nothing new here, smells like patriarchy everywhere – and the worst kind of patriarchy: the one that is the socially acceptable norm of the day…

  12. Of course she’s referring to herself as a commodity. That’s because she is–that’s how she’s planned her “career” and treated herself from before she graduated high school.

    Hey, Paris, I got news for you: many of us out here in chick-land? We think of ourselves as PEOPLE, you know, with full agency and stuff, not things to be owned or traded. I’m jus’ sayin’, princess. Don’t harsh my mellow with your lame-ass consumerism. (Do I sound airhead enough?)

  13. It always kind of amuses me when people call pot “cannabis.” Anyone who says “cannabis” is more than likely ignorant on the drug or trying to show how shmart they are because of course they’d never smoke “cannabis”.

    Just call it pot, weed, even marijuana. Or bud, green, sticky, ganja. Anything other than “cannabis”. “Cannabis” should be reserved for the courts and police only, kthx.

    Anyway, back on topic: Isn’t it pretty well known that she likely has herpes? Not that it matters (I myself have herpes), but to be honest, I don’t believe she’s only had sex “a coupla times!” to be honest.

    I don’t think she’s a “slut” (who cares?) and I don’t think she’s as stupid as she leads people to believe. It’s part of her schtick, imo.

  14. And let me just remove the herpes comment. It really doesn’t matter. She’s not a slut, even if she’s had sex a million times with a million men. Or maybe she is a slut. It shouldn’t even matter.

    I think she’s actually a brilliant businesswoman. I don’t like what she stands for, but she has made tons of money on her own by, as others have mentioned, making herself a commodity. I can’t help respect her as a businesswoman, even if what she stands for creeps me the fuck out.

  15. Ah, my bad. See, I thought sex and relationships and everything else were about, oh, I don’t know, mutual attraction — be it physical, emotional, intellectual, whatever — and enjoyment. But no. It’s about a body being a commodity. Great. Thank you, Paris Hilton, for enlightening me.

  16. Paris Hilton making a pro-abstinence argument
    To paraphrase Futurama, “are you familiar with the old robot saying, ‘DOES NOT COMPUTE’?”

  17. Have to love how she can’t even use a sexist metaphor that make sense and it logically consistent (not logical, obviously).

    I’m pretty sure she believes what she’s trying (inarticulately) to say, though. Lots of people think that way. Which is as good an argument for feminism still being needed as any other I can think of.

    And I HAD to go look at the comments in that link. Ugh. Reminds you that there’s a reason why so many women buy into this “I’m not a slut really, I’m special and shiny and new!!!” crap.

  18. Oh, I expect she had sex with at least the three fiances and the sex tape guy, but it could still be true in an ordinary loose conversational sense that she slept with “only a couple” of guys. Anyway, I don’t care a whole lot what her “number” actually is.

    The cute video counter to McCain is part of what makes me doubt she’s entirely serious about the Prada bad thing; she certainly seemed capable of cleverness and self-satire (as well as satire of others) there. On the other hand, having one of your (possibly not that many) partners sell your sexual activities as a porn tape and then getting derided as Biggest! Slut! Ever! could well push a woman toward buying “If you give it up to a guy he won’t respect you.” If anyone’s been disrespected for giving it up, Paris has been.

    Not that I especially like her in general – she strikes me as often self-absorbed and condescending – just that I more feel sorry for her than anything else here. The “Prada bag” standard, if meant at all seriously, is a pretty silly argument – there are several more ethically coherent arguments for preferring not to have sex too casually (preferably ones that apply equally to men). But I care what people think of me enough that I couldn’t just brush off being mocked by the whole world as a slut; I don’t expect anyone else to brush that off.

    And, yeah, those comments sure bring home to me why she’d want to rescue herself from the slut category. Creepy.

  19. Interesting, that some people think they know better than Paris Hilton herself how many people she has gone all the way with.
    We actually know of only one person, the rest is tabloid rumors which are notoriously inaccurate and vicious at times.
    Dating someone, flirting, etc does not constitute a sexual relationship.
    It’s her own business what she does, no adult owes anyone any explanations about their romances.

    I love Paris Hilton because she shows courage under pressure !
    Many people have tried to bring her down or tried to throw mud at her but she has emerged more successful and stronger each time. That’s the American spirit of enterprise and branding. You go girl!

  20. Yeah, go Paris Hilton! Go on with your bad self, getting caught on tapes making all sorts of racial and homophobic slurs! You’re awesome, rich girl!

  22. Where did I claim to know better than Paris how many men she slept with? Four is “a couple.” One of the dictionary definitions of “a couple” is “an indefinite small number.” All I’m saying is, even if all the tabloid rumors are true (and if she did, for example, the perfectly normal thing of having sex with guys she was supposed to have been actually engaged to), she could still be telling the truth about not having slept with very many men. And that it’s not a huge blot on her credibility if she slept with a small number that’s a little larger than two, rather than exactly two. And personally, having slept with about as many men as that, I would hate it if people who had possibly slept with way more proceeded to make me poster child slut because a videotape of me with just one of those men got released. And I’d also hate it if people who eagerly viewed a tape that had been released against my wishes thought themselves better than me because I was the one in the tape.

    My sympathies are totally with Paris Hilton on the “big old slut” reputation; she’s done nothing to deserve that.

    The reason I don’t like her is the one Holly gives; the business of her being caught making racial and homophobic slurs. I have less sympathy with people being shamed for being caught on videotape making racial and homophobic slurs than for people being shamed for being caught on videotape having sex. But the fact that I lose sympathy for her over the racial and homophobic slurs doesn’t mean I think she deserves any the less sympathy on the sex tape.

  23. Paris Hilton is like a brand-new Prada purse: excessive but tolerable during the boom, almost obscene now that we’re in a recession.

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