The King Of Listmaking has given us a new assignment for the Friday Random Ten, and I quite like it.
In light of the Music Queen’s inability to fulfill her regal duties this week, it’s time to take the random music thing in a new direction. As opposed to most of the other times I post the random songs off my Windows Media Player (9 GB, 5500 choices), this list is actually random… I’m not skipping over the odd ditty Hall & Oates or Primus-after-everyone-in-the-world-had-the-sense-to-stop-
listening-to-them. As true, inner coolness can only be measured this way, it’s time to take stock. Deep breath.
1) American Analog Set – High Fidelity vs. Guy Fidelity
Oh, look. An obscure band that all the cool kids love. Isn’t that sweet?
[4/10]
2) Ella Fitzgerald – Shoe Fly Pie
Discovered this from a car commercial several years ago and it quickly became Ethan’s favorite song because of the chorus: Mama, won’t you bake / Mama, for my sake / Go to the oven and get some ever lovin’ / Shoe fly pie. Telling your feminist mama to get in the kitchen and bake you a pie? That’s pretty funny.
[8/10]
3) Del the Funky Homosapien – Fake as Fuck
I don’t know why I have so much of his music because I don’t even like it. Not cool.
[5/10]
4) PJ Harvey – Teclo
My first ever online handle was named after this song on a whim: TecloBells. Everyone I chatted with thought I was referencing Taco Bell. This too is not cool.
[3/10]
5) Too Short ft. Trina, Trick Daddy, Scarface, and Daz – I Luv (dirty version)
“Dirty version” is an understatement, but I have a thing for Trina and Too Short. You should know this by now. My theory on Too Short is that he knows his raps suck, his rhymes suck, his content sucks, and his beats suck. But he keeps on pumping out albums. High ratings for consistently bad perseverence.
[8/10]
6) Big Sandy and His Fly-Rite Boys – Tequila Calling
A little bit of southwestern rockabilly goes a long way. Yum.
[8/10]
7) Bootsy Collins – Jungle Bass
No shame, I love Bootsy. But I have no doubt that others will think I’m crazy for loving him more than George Clinton. But this is a self-audit here, so I’m affording myself some extra coolness for being willfully unpopular.
[9/10]
8) WuTang Clan – Da Mystery of Chessboxing
I own this album on cassette, CD, and mp3. I don’t know if means it’s cool or not, but my vote is yes.
[9/10]
9) Biz Markie – Turn The Party Out
I have quite a bit of hip hop on this list, and since hip hop is cool with the kids, Biz Markie should be cool with the kids. Unlike my new glasses. [7/10]
10) 7 Seconds – Walk Together, Rock Together
I must be getting old because this song is too fast and noisy for me. And yet Too Short is okay?
[2/10]
My self-audit determines I am fifty-six percent cool based on this random sample of mp3s.
Nonetheless I am compiling my 56% uncool selections for this month’s Mixmania CD swap. Want to join in?