I guess this would be a good time to ‘fess up that I’ve never actually led a book club before. But I read a lot – that counts for something, right?
Anyway, today we’re discussing So Many Ways to Sleep Badly by Mattilda Bernstein Sycamore. I’ll start off by pointing out a few things I thought were interesting:
1. I felt like the most prevalent theme in the book was that of broken bodies. All through the story, Mattilda (the character, not the author – remember that this book is a novel and not a memoir, so we should start with the assumption that everything is fiction) complains of myriad aches, pains, illnesses, and injuries. If it isn’t the sinuses, it’s the hypoglycemia. If it isn’t the hypoglycemia, it’s the fibromyalgia. If it’s not fibromyalgia, it’s the jock itch or headaches or digestion problems or unexplained pain. As she deals with all these problems, the narrator makes it clear that views her body as a malfunctioning, high-maintenance machine – and that the incest she suffered as a child is a large part of that perception. On page 70, she writes, “My forearms are burning, why am I so fucking fragile? I’ll give you three choices: a. incest, b. incest, c. incest.” And on page 183: “I want to tell Rue that none of my pants fit either, but I can’t. I know it’s ridiculous, but it’s scarier than talking about incest, or maybe it is talking about incest – hiding and hating my body, poor helpless body.” What do you think is the connection here? Why are physical pain and sexual abuse so inextricably linked?
2. Although overall, I really liked the body theme, certain parts of it annoyed me – namely the narrator’s constant sarcastic tone when describing her ailments, and her reliance on alternative medicine like yoga, chi gung, acupuncture, and herbal remedies. The novel is fiercely critical of mainstream culture (more on that below), and yet the narrator steeps herself in trendy remedies that are contingent on class privilege, money, and a willingness to appropriate other cultures. What did you think of the narrator’s lack of self-awareness there?
3. Also on bodies: trying to sleep is another big theme in the novel. I don’t think Mattilda gets one good night’s sleep in the entire book. The title of the book points to this theme, so obviously it’s a big one – how do you think it ties in to all the other threads?
4. How about that narration style, huh? Michelle Tea says that Sycamore “makes stream-of-consciousness a lifestyle, a state-of-consciousness.” Did you feel like the style helped or hurt the story? It’s interesting how she uses events like the Iraq war to mark time, but it still feels like sections of the novel take place over a matter of weeks when, in fact, years are passing. Also, notice how Jeremy sort of fades out over the course of the second half? It’s very poignant when you realize that, after their rocky relationship and unstable friendship, he’s just not really present in her life anymore.
5. Politics – especially criticizing mainstream gay culture – play a huge part in Mattilda’s life and identity. On page 121, Sycamore describes “the worst Gay Shame meeting ever:” “People talking about not wanting to critique the community. I mean, we started Gay Shame to challenge the hypocrisy of gay spaces, and now people embrace the new hipster spot like it’s salvation. I’ve done my time getting smashed in terrible gay bars, but I’ve never thought that was community. Benjamin and Ralowe have been talking about leaving the group for awhile, but it’s the first time I think about it too.” In another part – sorry, I can’t find the page – she describes seeing gay and lesbian couples lining up outside city hall to get married, and describes it as the “most depressing thing ever.” I felt torn about this – on the one hand, genderqueer and trans communities have been thrown under the bus multiple times by gay and lesbian communities. On the other hand, at what point do you go from critiquing a community’s treatment of you to claiming that your way of life is superior to theirs? Did anyone else pick up a judgmental tone, or am I totally projecting? (And as a straight, cisgendered woman, do I even have a right to weigh in on this?)
6. I loved the dream sequences in the book. “Fish Tank” was by far my favorite chapter.
7. Here’s a line on page 113 that I loved: “The trick’s cute enough, I push him up on the kitchen counter, I’m grinding against him and he says let me ask you a question: are you gay? These people. Later, he says: what do you do for a living?”
So those are some things that I noticed. Thoughts?