November 2011 – Page 5

Groomzilla

Women get the vast majority of flak for being wedding-obsessed, but they’re hardly alone in that area. One groomzilla is taking it even beyond classic reality-TV level, suing his wedding photographer over unsatisfactory photos and video of the blessed event. Although it has taken him some time to get around to it.

But what is striking, said the studio that took the pictures, is that Mr. Remis’s wedding took place in 2003 and he waited six years to sue. And not only has Mr. Remis demanded to be repaid the $4,100 cost of the photography, he also wants $48,000 to recreate the entire wedding and fly the principals to New York so the celebration can be re-shot by another photographer.

By God, he will have those photos to commemorate that happy day, no matter what it takes. Hell, it was probably the happiest moment of his entire marriage. Which is now over.

Re-enacting the wedding may pose a particular challenge, the studio pointed out, because the couple divorced and the bride is believed to have moved back to her native Latvia.

Believed. Because he doesn’t actually know where she lives or how to get in touch with her. I personally can’t think of any photo I’d rather have on my wall than a picture of the woman who, following our divorce, fled the country and has since avoided all contact.

The judge dismissed most of the lawsuit, including “infliction of emotional distress” (aww…), but she let the “breach of contract” part proceed. My hope is that this is so that she has something to laugh about with her family over Thanksgiving and that Remis will run up ridiculous legal fees before losing the lawsuit. Regardless, if this dude doesn’t get his own Very Special Episode of Bridezillas, someone at WE is not paying attention. Get on that, WE.

Love, by Tom Waits

“She’s Amelia Earhart and Jane Goodall and Joan Jett all rolled into one … I feel like sometimes I have a map in my pocket that folds up and I pull it out and it’s bigger than the table and there are a 1,000 places to go with her.”

Full interview here.

Mapping Bias: LGBT Resources on the South Side of Chicago

This is a guest post by Kayla Higgins
The interesting thing about maps is that they are almost never objectively accurate. Rather, they depict a space through the perspective of the Chicagoan mapmaker. And such is the case of the various maps of gay life in Chicago. They are “Gay Chicago” as seen through the eyes of a particular mapmaker or, sometimes, an entire demographic. But they cannot be said to depict “Gay Chicago” as it objectively exists.

Vote no on bullshit

On Tuesday, November 8, the people of Mississippi vote on Initiative 26–the “personhood amendment”–which declares that personhood begins at the moment of fertilization. It’s just as ridiculous as it sounds and has no basis in science or law–just in conservative morality and controlling women. So, y’know, same ol’.

Initiative 26 adds just 35 words to the constitution of Mississippi:

SECTION 33. Person defined. As used in this Article III of the state constitution, “The term ‘person’ or ‘persons’ shall include every human being from the moment of fertilization, cloning or the functional equivalent thereof.”

Proponents would have you believe that those 35 words will have minimal impact on women in the state of Mississippi, outside of outlawing abortion (which is huge enough in its own right). Every fact sheet or FAQ you get from groups like Yes on 26 has the same list of things that the amendment won’t do: won’t outlaw birth control, won’t cost the state money, won’t prosecute women for miscarriages. And from an entirely literal reading, that’s actually true. The amendment doesn’t say anything outside of those 35 words. In fact, the danger of Initiative 26 lies in what the amendment doesn’t say: the exceptions and restrictions it doesn’t guarantee. Thirty-five words can do a huge amount of damage, and pretending it can’t means a lot of misleading, equivocating, and flat-out lying for groups like Yes on 26.

So to clear a few things up:

Yes, the bill can be used to outlaw all abortion. Obviously.

Yes, the bill can be used to outlaw the birth control pill. The vast majority of the medical community agrees that the Pill works by providing hormones that tell the body not to ovulate–when sperm is introduced into the uterus, there’s nothing for it to fertilize, so there’s no embryo. On the very off chance an egg slips through, though, the hormones also have thickened the cervical mucus so the sperm can’t get to the egg. And on the very off-off chance that supersperm does get through, it can’t penetrate the egg. It has been suggested that the Pill also might thin the lining of the uterus such that said unlikely zygote wouldn’t be able to implant. The medical community has seen no evidence that this third mechanism actually takes place, but they’re obliged to include it in information about the Pill just because the possibility exists. So if your bill identifies personhood as beginning at the moment of fertilization, then yes, it will outlaw any medication that could possibly prevent implantation of an zygote, even if it that doesn’t actually happen.

Contraceptives no more cause sex than umbrellas cause rain.

Yes yes and yes.

Feminsim: Bad For Women?

Let’s do a little “argument vs. fact” of Dennis Prager’s latest column about how feminism has been terrible for women and men. His general premise:

As we approach the 50th anniversary of the publication of Betty Friedan’s feminist magnum opus, The Feminine Mystique, we can have a perspective on feminism that was largely unavailable heretofore.

And that perspective doesn’t make feminism look good. Yes, women have more opportunities to achieve career success; they are now members of most Jewish and Christian clergy; women’s college sports teams are given huge amounts of money; and there are far more women in political positions of power. But the prices paid for these changes — four in particular — have been great, and outweigh the gains for women, let alone for men and for society.

Things That Will Surprise No One

John Derbyshire — he of “15-year-olds are the sexiest broads around because women reach their expiration date at 20″ fame — has some Things To Say about sexual harassment and racial discrimination:

Is there anyone who thinks sexual harassment is a real thing? Is there anyone who doesn’t know it’s all a lawyers’ ramp, like “racial discrimination“? You pay a girl a compliment nowadays, she runs off and gets lawyered up. Is this any way to live?

I mean, you can’t even walk up to a high school girl anymore and tell her what nice tits she has — next thing you know it’s all police officers and sex offender registries. No way to live!

If I were Derbyshire’s employer, I would be particularly concerned with his views on this issue, especially if he is interacting in any way with other human beings. Hello walking expired milk jug of liability.

Yeah no.

Look: I find Islamophobia offensive and disgusting. But no, it does not justify violence and bombing buildings:

Okay, so can we finally stop with the idiotic, divisive, and destructive efforts by “majority sections” of Western nations to bait Muslim members with petulant, futile demonstrations that “they” aren’t going to tell “us” what can and can’t be done in free societies? Because not only are such Islamophobic antics futile and childish, but they also openly beg for the very violent responses from extremists their authors claim to proudly defy in the name of common good. What common good is served by creating more division and anger, and by tempting belligerent reaction?

Again: I agree that Islamophobic antics are “futile and childish;” I agree that they serve absolutely no common good. But they “bait” Muslim people into violence? They just make it too tempting to blow up a building? Nope! You don’t get to use violence in response to rhetoric, no matter how abhorrent the rhetoric.

And you know, the vast majority of Muslim people respond to bigotry by pushing back, or being disgusted, or voicing their disapproval, or being quietly angry, or organizing. It seems more than a little condescending and insulting to suggest that Muslims as a group just can’t help getting all bomb-y when someone pisses them off.

Thank you!

To Ryan, for the Michael Chabon and the David Foster Wallace.

And to anonymous for the Paul Auster.

You two really brightened my day! Thank you so very much.

Young woman captures her father’s abusive actions on tape

A young Texas woman with cerebral palsy was whipped and beaten by her father for downloading games and music — and she stealthily recorded the whole thing, then posted it to YouTube. A major wrinkle is that the girl’s abusive father is allegedly Aransas County Court-At-Law Judge William Adams.

The video is incredibly disturbing, graphic and violent; I only watched a few seconds before shutting it off. It’s safe to click through to the Gawker link, but don’t watch the video if you aren’t prepared to see prolonged and horrific abuse.

This video was shot in 2004, and she’s been hanging on to it since then. She’s a brave woman for putting this out there, and it has reportedly been forwarded on to Child Protective Services and other relevant authorities. It’s not clear whether she still lives with her father, but I hope that this helps her to get as much distance from him as she needs.

This is also a good time to point out that people with disabilities are the victims of abuse at a rate 4 to 10 times that of the general population. People with disabilities often can’t report abuse, or feel like they can’t because reporting may mean losing a care-taker. When they do, they’re often disbelieved, or the abuse isn’t taken seriously. Since abuse often comes at the hands of a caretaker, authorities are often hesitant to follow up, or don’t consider the abuse “that bad” — the reasoning being, I guess, that care-taking is hard and often frustrating work and so we should give care-takers a little more wiggle room, even if that “wiggle room” includes abuses and violations.

Simply reporting the abuse that this woman suffered should be enough. But unfortunately, for a lot of people with disabilities, speaking out doesn’t solve the problem. Good on her for making sure people notice.

Thanks, Tom Foolery, for the link.