September 2011 – Page 8

Shameless Self-Promotion Sunday

Do your thing, kids.

Farewell, Feministers!

This is my last post. Sob. I know you are all in mourning, what with my charm, sweetness, and sparkling personality.

I thought I’d leave a list of books that I’ve enjoyed (or that I’m currently enjoying). As I have jury duty this week, I’m doing this as a shameless way to get people to post books they like in the comments section so I can have interesting stuff to read.

The $64 Tomato: How One Man Nearly Lost His Sanity, Spent a Fortune, and Endured an Existential Crisis in the Quest for the Perfect Garden
Closing the Food Gap
Packing for Mars: The Curious Science of Life in the Void
Sweet Charity?
Stuffed and Starved
This Bridge Called My Back
Killing the Black Body
Myth of the Welfare Queen
The Working Poor
Savage Inequalities
Amazing Grace
Death at an Early Age
Not Buying It: My Year Without Shopping
Holding the Line: Women in the Great Arizona Mine Strike of 1983

Adieu, adieu to yeu and yeu and yeu

Thanks so much for the opportunity to guest-post here. I wanted to get one more post in about violence and representation of women on screen in student films (aka “I think your character just raped that lady”) but my semester starts this week so it’s back to syllabi and lesson plans for me for now. I’ll let Jill know when I’ve pulled something together.

In the meantime, only four days until we get a new Awkward Black Girl episode! What will happen to White Jay and Black Jaye? Why does ABG not have a network development deal? When will a development deal come through for her? Will it be soon? These are the questions that will occupy my mind until we meet again.

Dealbreakers

I am unhealthily obsessed with GOOD’s Dealbreakers features — it’s nice to see articles that discuss boundary-drawing without finger-wagging “you’re so shallow” commentary. Because you know, I also won’t date anyone who is anti-choice, or who insists that their dog watch us have sex, or who has very strict dietary preferences. Some people would date all of those people; some people would date an anti-choice gluten-free vegan with an ass-licking dog. And that’s great! Being a judgmental bitch is not the worst thing when it comes to picking a partner (being a judgmental bitch who is open to dating outside of one’s comfort zone is actually the best thing, I think). Lots of people won’t date militant feminists who sing the praises of period sex on the internet, or thick-thighed New York lawyer/writers who would like cheese and wine with every meal and will always order the weirdest thing on the menu. The world is a big place and there are lots of interesting people in it; hetero women, unfortunately, are not often reminded that the world is a big place with lots of interesting people in it, and are instead routinely told that men are the ones doing the picking, and we should settle for the first nice guy who wants to wife us. I say no! I’m not saying reject anyone who doesn’t fit 100% into your Barbie and Ken Wedding Fantasy Dream Set. No need to reject a blond because you usually date brunettes; no need to judge a guy because he likes videogames and you’ve never played a single one other than Duck Hunt (a fact that some of you may be horrified to learn is true about me, since my parents would never let me have a Nintendo and I’m still unclear on what kinds of videogames came to be after that). But if a dude has some characteristics that you absolutely know in your gut you cannot tolerate? Don’t feel guilty about it. No one is entitled to date you, and you aren’t obligated to spend time with someone you don’t actually want to spend time with. Totally out-there advice, I know, but not exactly the Dating Manual Gospel these days.

Draw lines! Have deal-breakers! And then date people who are outside of your normal to-do pool and see how interesting things can be when you combine “having standards” with “being open and adventurous.”

Newsflash: Your ovaries are drying up and crumbling into internal bacon bits.

Ladies! I have some bad news that you definitely would never have suspected: It turns out that whitening your teeth, dying your hair and using really good anti-wrinkle cream will not in fact extend your fertility. I KNOW. My biology class taught me that if you’re pretty you can have babies forever, so this really blew my mind. Super glad the Times regularly covers the “you think you’re young, ambitious, happy and responsible because you’re waiting until you’re ready to have kids, but you actually have the ovaries of a shriveled old hag so better get to procreating yesterday” beat. Without it, women who are under the impression that they can get pregnant at 86 as long as they look like they might still menstruate would probably never have the chance to be quoted in a reputable news publication.

In Defense of Period Sex

Yes to everything in this column:

I think it’s weird when guys don’t want to have period sex (just to clarify, ‘period sex’ is when you have sex while a girl is ‘menstruating’ or ‘bleeding out of her vagina,’ in case you were wondering). Listen: I don’t think you should have to eat pussy when it’s leaking the red stuff, I don’t even think it’s necessary that you touch it with your hand (if you’re the queasy type it’s probably better if you don’t) but there are reasons why period sex is much less disgusting than you think.

See, I imagine the taste of blood isn’t so nice when it’s coming out of someone else’s genitals (even if you were the sort of kid that would graze themselves and then suck on the wound), hence why I can forgive a man for not wanting to go down on me while Aunty Flo’s in town. And I’m guessing any sort of digital action would probably lead to dirty sheets as his hands crept elsewhere in moments of passion, so I can sort of (only just) forgive him for not wanting to finger me when I’m on the rag. But sex? When your penis is covered in latex and you don’t have to taste it, look at it or touch it, no apologies, I don’t understand what the problem is.

The good news is, I’m pretty sure we’re all having period sex anyway.

I have met a grand total of one dude in my entire life who was like “no” on the period sex (for the record, he wasn’t saying no in the moment; it was a general conversation, not a negotiation). His reasoning was “it’s gross.” And when I stopped seeing him approximately 24 hours after that conversation, my reasoning was, “I don’t want to be with someone who thinks that a natural, healthy uterus-having body is gross.” Do you have a right to refuse to have period sex because you think bleeding vaginas be nasty? Of course. And do I have a right to leave your ass and think less of you because of that? You betcha. Because it does come down to misogyny, basically — most pre-menopausal people with uteruses and vaginas who are old enough to consent to sex bleed once a month. Vaginas do not exist as sterile, liquid-free penis receptacles (although I hear there’s a toy for that). Lots of healthy vaginas expel blood. And if you think that’s gross, well, maybe spend your naked extracurricular time with someone who is vagina-free (exception to the “you’re kind of a dick if you think periods are disgusting” rule: People who are universally freaked out by any kind of blood and just can’t handle the sight of it).

Basically, dudes who have sex with women and think period sex is disgusting are the brothers-in-badnews-sexytime with people who think oral sex is gross. Don’t like normally-functioning vaginas? Then you should be disallowed from fucking them.

An experiment in asking politely for accessibility.

The argument that if (marginalized group of people) would just (!) ASK (nicely, in just the right way using exactly the perfect tone and obeying all the unwritten secret rules) for (their human rights), they would be given immediately them by the innocent benevolent rulers who just didn’t know what they needed is so common that it should be in Derailing for Dummies

Here’s what happened when one lawyer with low vision and superhuman patience decided to test that theory.

In particular, I suggest it as a must-read for all user experience design/user interface developers. People with money want to use the internet to buy your stuff! You could not be a jerk and make more money at the same time!

J.C. Penney walks away from workers who were injured making their products

I’m going to shamelessly cut, paste and link from the change.org site. Please sign the petition in support of Bangladeshi workers.

On December 14, 2010, 30 Bangladeshi factory workers were burned alive [link Sheelzebub’s] when an easily preventable fire broke out in the unsafe, multi-story sweatshop in which they were working. These men and women worked for “That’s It Sportswear” producing clothing for famous U.S. brands.

Thanks to pressure from Change.org members, seven of the eight brands (including J.C. Penney) doing business with the factory owners – the Hameem Group – signed a commitment to ensure fair compensation for the injured workers and surviving family members of the workers who died and to take meaningful steps to stop the epidemic of workplace deaths at US brands’ apparel factories in Bangladesh. Now J.C. Penney has shamefully broken this pledge. Today, six of the eight brands continue negotiating in good faith to establish an adequate worker compensation fund and sustainable fire safety initiatives. J.C. Penney, however, has dropped out.

We need your help to send a message to J.C. Penney to honor the commitments they made in January.

In Bangladesh, nearly 500 workers have died in factory fires during the past five years. Establishing effective initiatives to prevent fires like this from occurring again is critical. Nothing less than workers’ lives are at stake. Don’t let J.C. Penney walk away from workers in Bangladesh.

Sign the petition here. (Just FYI, I checked the J.C. Penney corporate site at 2:38 pm EST, and saw no press release acknowledging the petition or this issue at all, so I’m assuming that nothing has changed and that they’re still reneging on their agreement.)

There is more you can do! In the comments section of a rather contentious thread that ended up focusing on consuming less vs. organizing, La Lubu made an excellent point and linked to a bunch of organizations that are working tirelessly to help (and are founded by) workers around the world.

They are:

Maquila Solidarity
Human Rights Watch
AFL-CIO Solidarity Center
The Multinational Monitor
Grassroots Global Justice

(Thanks, La Lubu!)

If you are concerned about and disgusted by the exploitation of workers at home and abroad, these are good organizations to get involved with. You can also check out the work of the International Labor Rights Forum, the organization that is putting pressure on J.C. Penney to honor its commitment to the workers who were injured and killed making their clothes.